writing

Inside The Mind Of A Mentally Constipated Blogger

Today and yesterday have been mental constipation days as far as blogging is concerned. Ever been inside the mind of a mentally constipated person? Probably so, if you’re a blogger. If not, it goes something like this…

Since good ideas aren’t plentiful again, I decide to go with the Daily Prompt for today, which is “Angry.” I open up a new post and write a few words, then realize that since I don’t feel like writing about my usually silent She-Hulk temper (wouldn’t that make for a sucky comic book character — mom who quickly and quietly fumes something serious in her head?) or offending anyone by writing about certain angry groups of people that have annoyed me, that maybe I’ll pass on this one.

Sigh. Move to Trash. I wonder what my ratio of published posts to drafts that never saw the light of day is?

Shrute-bucks

I go to Facebook. I save recipes for dishes that I’ll never eat, but that my family might like. Well, that Little Man and Sam might like, since Baby Girl is pickier than me. I roll my eyes at posts made by a few angry people and scroll on. Then I get an idea for a post — I’ll write about something sort of funny that happened in Charleston. But then I can’t get past the beginning paragraph and click Move to Trash once again.

Then I decide to wander around the house a bit. Time to set the washer back again since I left the clothes in too long. I fume over the hardening rigatoni remnants in a bowl in the sink not being rinsed out, despite asking certain individuals in my house to be sure to rinse their dishes at least 132 times over the past week. Or close to it, anyway.

I make my way back to my desk, where I see how far back I can lean in the chair without it tipping over. Not far. Then I wonder why the hell I’m still doing that at age 32 and hope that I won’t have a headstone that reads “Death by chair” before I’m 40. And then I open another draft, type a few words, delete those words, and try again. Nothing quite sounds right.

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Back to Facebook. I see that a friend opened up her pool today and admire her deck, which she says they just stained, and realize that Sam still hasn’t stained or sealed the deck he built for our pool two years ago. I head over to the Lowe’s website and price some sealant and send an email reminding my husband to buy it this weekend. Emails are the best reminders, because I have proof when he claims I didn’t tell him.

See that email right there? That isn’t bolded because you opened it? That you responded to? Hell yes, I told you.

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Then I get a good idea — I’ll use one of the silly topics I joked around about in my Making This Blog Hot post. I decide to write a sarcastic post on how to be successful at the blogging like me. But even that fizzles out between a combination of the funny sarcasm not being strong with me tonight and knowing someone(s) will take shit seriously and get all up in my comments section. Maybe another day…

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Sam gets home from taking the kids out for a while and Baby Girl decides to give me a break by force feeding me her snack. I try to resist, but a combination of cuteness and salty goodness makes me cave. And then, just as I’m inserting gifs in the appropriate places, I have a decent idea for a post. But I’ll save it for tomorrow, and hopefully I won’t get stumped a couple paragraphs into it. If I do, to hell with it, and you’ll get a post that you might think BG hit the Publish button on while I was typing it delivered to your inbox (or reader).

What do you think your ratio of published posts to drafts that never saw the light of day is?

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Little Man is Frustrated* With Me

This is why happens when kids get a free write for their homework.

Here is why he’s frustrated:

(FYI-the first underlined word, “thrustrated,” is “frustrated.” It took me a moment to get this.)  

I am very thrustrated at my mom. She made me do do this writing at the table even though the floor was a lot harder. That’s why the G on writing has a hole in it. Ok, that’s it, I’m getting on floor write now! Well the good thing is that mom can’t see me. Well she’s in her room, and I’m in between the couch and my dog’s bed. The End.

I told him to write on the card table, not the floor. Apparently I should have told him to put a notebook under his paper to press on.

Weekend Coffee Share: My World

If we were having coffee, I’d recommend that you don’t drink your coffee this way:

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I don’t have to worry about this, as I do not consume coffee. This is one of the perks of drinking soda–no possibility for third-degree burns. 😉

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that Little Man is at art class right now. He loves art and has created some cool paintings.

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I’m pretty sure that he prefers art to sports. He also loves music, and we have been looking for a decently price drum set for him. He uses the Garage Band app on his dad’s iPad to create some cool stuff for a kid his age.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that I’m super excited to start reading Illyria: Haunted, which is a comic book mini-series that is part of Angel: After the Fall, the comic book series that picked up where the show left off.

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I would also tell you that I watched two movies last night. The first was Into the Woods, which I was super excited about. I hated it, but Little Man thought it was the best movie he’s ever seen besides Big Hero 6, so I’m glad he was a fan! After the kids went to bed, the hubby and I watched The Imitation Game, which was amazing. Watch it, you must.

This has been a busy month for us birthday-wise. For some reason, nearly all of our relatives and friends decided to be born in April. We’ve celebrated five birthdays so far, and will go to a party tonight that will serve as a birthday celebration for not one, but two of my close friends. I now screen future friends and if their birthday falls in April, they’re dropped from consideration. I kid.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that I booked a night at the Great Wolf Lodge for Little Man at the end of the month. I was having mommy guilt about his spring break being a bit of a bust (IMO, he thought it was the best ever), so off to the land of indoor water slides and and nonstop screaming we will go! I told him by showing him my confirmation email. It took him a second for it to click, but he is sooooo excited. We’re also let him skip school that day, which makes the whole thing 10 times cooler in his eyes.

That’s all for now. Please share about what’s going on in your world below! ❤

G is for Gaming (NES FTW!)

As is true for almost any kid raised in the 1980s, I had a Nintendo (also known as the NES). And, after having a Sega Gensis, Nintendo 64, PS2, PS3, Xbox 360, Xbox One* and now a PS4, I still maintain that the NES was the best gaming system EVER.

Want to know one difference between my Nintendo and all of the other systems I’ve purchased (excluding the Xbox One and PS4, since those are recent purchases)?

It still works.

It looks like this now:

Yep, that’s Super Mario Bros. in there. And yep, those are my PJs.

And here’s the rest of the system, which has been hanging out in a Walmart bag since I still have a little work to do to finish fixing it up.

It might look rough, but the damn thing works, even if it’s only for 15 minutes before the screen starts flickering. There is one part that I still need to work on, but me and procrastination are besties and I’m not accustomed to more than 15 minutes of pleasure at once anyway, so it’ll do. Regardless, the system is 25 years old (probably older than some of you reading this) and I can play on it.

So suck it, recent game systems. You things are good for 2-4 years if I’m lucky (and no, we don’t play dodgeball with our game systems). You guys overheat, won’t turn on, get red rings of death, won’t always accept my cheat codes, and really over complicate the hell out of the whole experience. You’re high maintenance.

The NES is low maintenance. Throughout the years that I had this system and shared it with my siblings, this thing has been beaten, blown in, had one of the controller cords chewed in half (my sister apparently thought she was a dog when she was 6), have had stuff thrown at it, and it’s still alive and kicking today.

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Here are the games I have now:

Rocketeer, Mike Tyson Punch Out, Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Tetris, Jackle, Baseball, Double Dribble, Paperboy, Super Mario 3, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Sadly, I’m missing Zelda, the greatest NES game of all time. But I do have some other cool titles, at least!

How many of you played the NES as kids, teens, adults, whatever? What were your favorite games? Feel free to go all old school and talk about the Atari or Odyssey. 

*No, I’m not an adult brat who gets all the new game systems. I got the Xbox One at Christmas, absolutely hated it, sold it, and replaced it with the PS4, which is AMAZING. If you have a PS4 and want to play online, shoot me a message.