June 2

Look at me, a two day posting streak. Day 2 of 30!

I’m going with funny stuff Baby Girl said today.

Best Mommy Ever? Maybe not.

After LM gave me a LEGO trophy for being the best mom ever last week, Baby Girl had to give me one, too. It was a tower of little LEGO Duplo blocks with a Duplo cupcake on top.

“You’re the best mommy ever!” she said as she gave it to me and gave me a big hug.

So sweet.

An hour later, I told her to pick up her toys out of the living room so I could sweep.

“I don’t want to mess up my lion den!” she exclaimed. The lion den was built out of a bunch of different toys stacked in a circle. I told her to rebuild the den in her room and move the toys, which pissed her off, of course. And she doesn’t get a little mad, she goes from sweet to Hulk. After stomping her feet and hissing at me (because lions hiss, growl, and snarl, and she’s a lion), she threatened to take back the trophy.

“If you make me clean up these toys,” she said, “I’m taking back your trophy! You won’t be the best mommy anymore — you’ll be the worst. I’ll make a new trophy that says you’re the meanest mommy ever.”

So dramatic.

“I guess I won’t be the best mommy ever anymore,” I replied, “because you’re moving the toys.”

She gave me The Look. “Well, you’re still the best mommy ever. Just not for a few seconds. You can keep the trophy.” She proceeded to move her stuff.

Sonic Dash

We rented the new Sonic movie on Amazon last night and watched it. The kids had already watched it with their grandparents, and it was my first time watching it. I so did not want to watch that movie. It didn’t sound like my cup of tea (and wasn’t). But BG begged me to cuddle on the couch with her and watch it, and I couldn’t say no to that. After it was over, BG started running around the house.

“I’m so fast!” she said. “I’m Sonic. I have really strong legs, which means I can run super fast. Maybe even faster than Sonic.” (I love her view of herself, by the way. She is small and has always been the shortest in her class or on her team and also has developmental coordination disorder, which makes some things harder for her. Before soccer got canceled and they ran for practice, she would barely make it 1/4 of the way around and her teammates would have finished. That didn’t stop her from seeing herself as faster than Flash, though. ❤ )

She wanted me to video her running, so I set the video to Time Lapse and had her run a few times. In Time Lapse mode, it made her look like she was indeed as fast — and maybe even faster — than Sonic.

“The reason I run so fast like Sonic is because my legs are fast like a cheetah’s and my lungs are great,” she said proudly.

Moves Like A Tortoise

We were playing with BG’s Teen Titans yesterday when she told me she wished she had superpowers like Beast Boy. (Beast Boy can transform into any animal he wants at any time.)

I asked her what animals she would turn into and expected her to say “lion” or some other animal from the African Savanna.

“I’d turn into a tortoise,” she answered.

“Why?”

“Well, if you fussed at me and told me to clean up my toys, I’d just turn into a tortoise and slowly walk away from you. You wouldn’t want to pick up a tortoise, either, so you couldn’t say anything to me.”

Zebra Fries

And speaking of animals from the African Savanna, we were playing family with her zebras, giraffes, lions, elephants, and a few other savanna animals. They had a snack shop, too, which you might not expect in the wild. The snack shop served zebra fries and antelope smoothies.

“How about lemur cake?” I suggested, going along with her.

BG looked at me like I was a total dumbass. “Mommy, lemurs don’t live in the Savanna. They live in Madagascar.”

“Well, maybe some of them live in the Savanna,” I responded.

“Mommy, NO! Madagascar is an ISLAND. We DO NOT have lemur cakes at this snack stand!”

You’d think that if the lions could have a snack stand, that they could have lemur cakes no matter where they’re from, but nope. She’s right, by the way. I googled lemurs, and they are indeed native to Madagascar. I didn’t realize Madagascar was an island, either, but that’s to be expected since I suck a geography.

COVID-19 Quiz

To wrap it up, BG’s answers to a coronavirus quiz.

1. What is the Coronavirus?
A bad virus.

2. Who is the president?
It used to be George Washington.

3. How many days have we been in quarantine?
A lot.

4. Do you want to go back to school/daycare?
Yes. I miss my friend Z.

5. Who is the first person you are going to hug when social distancing is over?
Z.

6. Where is the first place you want to go?
Great Wolf Lodge!

7. What do you think we can do to get rid of of the virus?
Scare it away.

8. Is your mom a good teacher?
No. You’re not a real teacher. But you are a good homeschool teacher.

9. How did the Coronavirus start?
I don’t know that.

10. Are you enjoying the lockdown?
I gotta pee.