Smoked Chicken Nuggets

Since I haven’t come up with anything better to post today, I’m going to post a text message I had with a friend in which I played a joke on him. I’ve talked before about being a picky eater, which he knows pretty well from being on our It Was A Whole Effing Chicken date and witnessing me eat only chicken nuggets from a Mexican buffet.

It’s mildly amusing (to me, at least), so maybe it’ll be mildly amusing to y’all, too.

(His wife — my best friend — was in on it.)

(B is the husband and J is my bestie.)

You have to admit, he’s a good friend since he was going to do it.

Check out today’s taboo word below. Visit Eric, author of the All In A Dad’s Work blog and creator of the challenge to view details on participating.


Things Kids Say Thursday: “Tecsting”

Back when I first let Little Man use my iPad to send relatives text messages, I’m pretty sure everyone hated me. He had just started first grade at the time, and I thought it’d be a good way for him to practice writing/spelling and talk to some of our family about how school was going.

Little did I realize that LM was one of those people who have shit fits if someone doesn’t text them back immediately. You know the type — you don’t respond to a text within 5 minutes (and it’s a random text, not like you’ve been chatting), and they’re certain that you’re ignoring them and hate them or some shit.

Here is one of his early shit fit texts that I received one morning when I was out running errands. There’s lots of first grader spelling mistakes, but I’m pretty sure you can figure it out:

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I was equal parts amused and horrified at the caps lock text rage coming from a little kid. He still sends lots of texts, but he usually doesn’t get quite as pissy as he did in his earlier texts when someone doesn’t respond fast enough.

Z is for ZOMG, #AtoZChallenge

Are you ready your final lesson on textspeak? Z is pretty limited when it comes to texting acronyms and slang, but there was one good one:

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Are you all WTF is she drinking, OMG doesn’t start with a Z! right now?

Well, this is legit, folks.

From what I’ve read, ZOMG started when someone accidentally put a Z before OMG, and apparently it stuck. ZOMG is used when you are really feeling the OMG over something or when you want to use OMG sarcastically.

If I were to complain about how this blogging challenge was challenging and really wore me out, you might say, ZOMG, you poor thing! while rolling your eyes.

Or, if I texted you about how Jax Teller was sitting in my driveway on his motorcycle, you might text back, ZOMG you lucky bitch!

So…ZOMG, the A to Z Challenge is over!

This has been a fun theme for me to write about, and I hope you’re now able text people with less difficulty. And if your improved texting skills are making things tough on them, you know where to send them.

In case you’ve missed some posts and don’t feel like going through them all, here are a few winners based on likes:

  1. A is for ATM
  2. F isn’t for FWB
  3. Tie between J is for J4F and I is for IDGAF

Alternative meaning: none.

Textspeak I passed up: Zzz (tired, bored).

Which acronym was your favorite?

X is for XLA, #AtoZChallenge

The first half of this challenge started off great. There was a ton of good textspeak to choose from, especially acronyms. But now that I’m near the end, the well has been drying up a bit. It’s bone dry with the X day. There are a handful of X acronyms, but they aren’t post worthy, so instead, I’m gonna make up another acronym and go from there.

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Little Man likes texting people from his tablet (and by people, I mean mostly myself and his dad). I don’t think he knows any acronyms yet, so to help introduce him to the wide world of textspeak, I’m going to start using acronyms in our conversations. Only these acronyms won’t be WTF, GTFO, STFU or anything like that, no matter how much they’re running through my head. Instead, I’ve created a few acronyms to use, and they are XLA, especially from a kid’s perspective.

My XLA for when LM starts texting:

GTYR: go to your room.

CUYR: clean up your room.

FTD: feed the dog.

SBSL: stop being so loud.

BQOUWWYS: be quiet or you will wake your sister.

PYOGOM: pour your own glass of milk.

TOTTV: turn of the TV.

YGMAHA: you’re giving me a headache.

TOTT: take out the trash.

DYHW: do your homework.

GO: go outside.

FTLOGGO: for the love of god, go outside.

TDBGHAPD: tell Daddy that Baby Girl has a poopy diaper.

EYV: eat your vegetables.

Alternative meaning: None.

Textspeak I passed up: XOXO (hugs and kisses) and XTC (ecstasy).

Lame enough? What XLA would you add?

V is for Voluntold, #AtoZChallenge

Remember how I complained about passwords a few days ago? Well, the Password Curse has struck again. I was trying to erase part of my Internet history for totally non-naughty reasons and when I cleared out my cookies and cache, it logged me out of everything. Not a problem if you know your user name and passwords, but that ain’t me.

So, why am I telling you this? The website I use — Canva — to do the little graphic was logged out and I have no idea which email I used to sign up. Shouldn’t be a problem, except for I have like a dozen throwaway emails. (This comes from Emailnesia, the disease where you forget your throwaway email login info momentarily and have to create another.) Anyway, I had to go with a new — gasp — account and create a new — gasp — graphic. Now those of you who get twitchy eyed over minor changes like I do have an explanation for the minor graphic change, and those of you who aren’t that way are at least slightly annoyed and are possibly muttering curse words at me.


And on we go.

Being voluntold is exactly what it sounds like — someone volunteers you to do something you either had no intention of doing or don’t want to do. Some people are experts at voluntelling, like my husband’s mother.

“E, since you’re so good with computers, I told Jenny that you could take a look at her’s and see what’s wrong with it, maybe fix it up so that it runs faster. You don’t mind do you?”

Another example of being voluntold to do something is our current school’s mandatory volunteer hours. At Little Man’s old school, if you volunteered to help out, that meant you offered to help out of your own free will. Ain’t no such thing as voluntary volunteer hours when you have to do at least 30 per year or your kid gets kicked out. (In fairness, about half of the hours include things like PTO meetings and conferences…but that takes the fun  but of mockplaining.) And when your kid is late a certain number of times, you get to tack on an extra hour to the total you need to complete. They should start calling them Voluntold Hours.

Alternative meaning: none.

Textspeak I passed up: VIP (very important person), VBG (very big grin), and VEG (very evil grin).

Does anyone voluntold you for things, or are you the one doing the voluntelling?