‘B’ is for Better Half

Eric at All In A Dad’s Work does the Q&A thing with his kids a lot, but sometimes he includes his wife. The questions he asked his wife (and answered himself) this time were pretty great, so I decided to ask them to my better half, too.

1. Who’s your TV crush?

Husband: Bones (Emily Deschanel)

Me: Jackson (Grey’s Anatomy), Randall (This Is Us)

2. If you weren’t a financial analyst/SAHM-freelance writer, what would you be?

Husband: A high school sports coach, probably baseball.
Me: Author for young adult novels or a doctor.

3. What’s one thing you want to change about yourself?

Husband: My ability to focus.
Me: To have more patience. I find myself getting way too short with my husband and kids sometimes.

4. What’s one thing you’d change about me?

Husband: You’d be nicer to me. I don’t think I’d change anything about you, except the number of times you make cookies.
Me: You’d trim your toenails regularly.

5. If you could get away with one crime, would you do it? What crime would you commit?

Husband: I would rob a federal reserve of $70 million.
Me: If I could rob a bank without getting caught, then I’d probably do it. They’ve got insurance, right?

6. What song would you sing for your “The Voice” blind audition?

Husband: In the Garden, a gospel song.
Me: Pretty sure no one wants to hear me sing, but I’d probably belt out Landslide if I had to.

7. What would be your idea of an ideal date with me?

Husband: Kayaking on the Charleston harbor and going to James Island.
Me: A trip to the Bahama’s with the all-you-can-drink pass.

8. Who is your celebrity doppelganger?

Husband: Mark Ruffalo.


Me: I don’t know, but my husband says Emily Deschanel.

9. Is there a memory of me that makes you laugh?

Husband: You peeing in a cooler when you were drunk.
Me: That time you got diarrhea when we were walking down the boardwalk at the beach with our friends. You were running down the boardwalk clenching and looking for a restroom while me and two of our friends were doubled over laughing. The other person with us was chasing you, yelling and asking if you were okay.

10. What’s your Patronus?
(Had to look this up…a Patronus is a guardian in the Harry Potter world.)

Husband: Bilbo, my dog.
Me: A moose. They’re pretty badass.

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23 Questions With Little Man And Baby Girl

A little over two years ago, I did the 23 Questions survey with Little Man. It’s time to do an updated survey for Little Man and get Baby Girl in on it to see what answers she comes up with to these questions. For the record, Little Man is almost 10 and Baby Girl is 3.

Enjoy.

1. What is something mom always says to you?

LM: Cuss words. (Laughs) “Clean up your room!”

BG: “I love you.”

2. What makes mom happy?

LM: Saying cuss words. (Laughs) Cuddling with us, being around me and Baby Girl. 

BG: Hugging.

3. What makes mom sad?

LM: Not saying cuss words. (Laughs) Being around smelly dogs.

BG: Yelling. Ooooh!

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

LM: With your blog and Yo Mama jokes.

BG: Her scares me.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

LM: I have no idea.

BG: Like Bilbo (our dog).

6. How old is your mom?

LM: 34

BG: 12

7. How tall is your mom?

LM: I have no idea.

BG: This big. (She steps on her tip toes and holds up her arms.)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

LM: Watch TV.

BG: Work.

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?

LM: Not anything good.

BG: Hop your butt around.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

LM: Being the best mom ever.

BG: Prize.

11. What is your mom really good at?

LM: Being the best mom ever.

BG: Working.

12. What is your mom not very good at?

LM: Being the worst mom ever.

BG: Eating.

13. What does your mom do for a job?

LM: Sit back, relax, and watch TV. (Laughs) You predict the weather and write and get paid.

BG: Work. You do the “ah-ti-cles”

I do write, but I do not predict the weather.

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?

LM: Coke, easily.

BG: French fries.

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

LM: Everything.

BG: Working.

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be?

LM: Godzilla. Because you’re evil and big. Not big in a fat way, but big like big and tall. 

BG: Spiderman.

17. What do you and your mom do together?

LM: Play chess, watch TV, talk. 

BG: Play and puzzles

18. How are you and your mom the same?

LM: In every way except for gender. 

BG: Hugging.

19. How are you and your mom different?

LM: In gender and that’s it. 

BG: (Makes a goofy face)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

LM: You’re my mother, duh.

BG: You kiss me.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?

LM: Everything. 

BG: You do something funny

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?

LM: Home.

BG: Chuck E. Cheese’s with me.

23. How old was your mom when you were born?

LM: No clue. 

BG: 3

Get To Know Me Challenge

Vic at Plain Ol Vic nominated me to participate in the Get To Know Me Challenge, so I am. I realize some of y’all are thinking “We already know more about you than we want,” but too bad, there’s more. 😉

Share your profile picture if you have one.

img_0341

This is what I’m using at the moment.

Who are you named after? A freaking soap opera character.

What is your favorite lunch meat? Shaved turkey.

Longest relationship? My current one; we’ve been together almost 13 years and married almost 11.

Do you still have your tonsils? Nope.

Would you bungee jump? I did a sort of bungee jump thing at Carowinds at once. I wouldn’t do either now, but probably would when I get super old or if I were almost on my deathbed.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?
 Never. I only untie my sneakers when they get too loose.

Favorite ice cream? Chocolate.

What is the first thing you notice about people? Is it weird that I have no idea? I’m blanking on this one.

Football or baseball? Football. Go Cocks! I do love baseball, too, though.

What color pants are you wearing? Gray pants. The blue jeans I usually wear got wet in the rain.

Last thing you ate? A slice of leftover pizza.

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Turquoise. Love that color.

Favorite smell? A freshly cleaned baby. Unfortunately, Baby Girl isn’t so much a baby anymore, and it’d be weird if I went around sniffing someone’s baby, so I don’t get to enjoy that scent often. (This probably sounds weird as fuck.)

Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? Probably my mother-in-law. I rarely talk on the phone because sucky hearing, but my MIL will not take “I can’t hear most of what you say on the phone” for an answer and calls anyway (and then has to talk to my husband because I can’t hear her well enough, sigh).

Hair color? Dark brown.

Eye color? Blue.

Favorite foods to eat? Pizza, turkey sandwiches, steak, chicken.

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings I guess. I don’t do horror movies.

Last movie you watched? Split.

Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving.

Beer or wine? Neither. I prefer rum, but don’t drink it as often now because alcohol gives me wicked heartburn.

Favorite day of the week? Friday because we’re almost done for the week.

Which of your three favorite bloggers would you like to know more about? Only three? Gah. How about anyone who reads this participate if they want, because I’d definitely enjoy reading the answers from just about anyone who follows/comments on this blog.

Who were the latest three people to follow your blog (link to their about page?

The last three legit people to follow:

The Barefoot Baby 

Stumbling Mind 

University Mommy

100. Copy this link

Do You Really Know Me?

I’ve seen a couple other posters do this survey, so I’m down. You can read their answers at Twin Daddy Blog and Joeyfully Stated.

Now, I’m sure with the other survey type things I’ve posted, y’all probably think you know me. Maybe you think you know me better than you’d like, even. If you aren’t at that point yet, you will be by the end of this survey.

1 – Boxer shorts or budgy smugglers? Boxer shorts FTW. I love wearing my husband’s.

2 – What color of underwear are you currently wearing? White. Because I’m boring.

3 – How long have you been wearing them for? Since this afternoon when I decided I should put on underwear if we’re going to town.

4 – Do you ever use binoculars to watch people? Hell no. I avoid looking at people when possible. My grandmother was known to use both binoculars and a telescope to attempt to spy on our neighbors. (In her defense, we lived way out in the country, so she needed more power to spy.)

5 – Have you ever kicked someone in the groin? I’ve accidentally kicked Sam a few times when we were horse playing. 

6 – Would you pull a trigger? Absolutely I would.

7 – If you met your favorite celebrity, and they wanted to make out with you, would you? No. But if they wanted to send me naked selfies, I wouldn’t say no to that. 😉

8 – Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone you were not in a relationship with (not talking about sex and one-night-stands)? Yeah, my cousin and sister and I used to share a bed some as kids.

9 – Have you had one-night-stands? Nope.

10 – Does sex have the same importance to you now compared to when you were younger? Eh.

11 – Have you ever eaten a worm? Fuck no.

12 – What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever eaten? I tasted okra once. Blech.

13 – How long do you spend sitting on the toilet? Not long, as Baby Girl feels the need to assist me, so I try to get it over with as quickly as possible.

14 – What do you do when you sit there (besides the obvious)? When I’m not telling BG to put the toilet paper down, I’ll sometimes read on my phone. (Yeah, gross, I know.)

15 – Have you ever been peed at? Not that I can recall.

16 – What’s the grossest thing you have ever swallowed? Well, actually swallowed? Uh… But grossest thing I ever had in my mouth? That’d have to be baby poop, baby pee, and baby vomit. My kids were fucking awful to me as infants.

17 – What’s the constantly dirtiest place in your home? Bathroom.

18 – Why don’t you clean it? Because I didn’t make the mess, dammit.

19 – Do you eat your boogers? Srsly?

20 – Can you describe the one smell that makes you gag? Eggs do it every time. But smells of many, many foods also trigger my gag reflex, which makes for a picky eater.

21 – Have you ever had head lice? Yeah, when I was 5 or 6. My grandmother was upset because she thought everyone would think our family was trashy and dirty. A handout Little Man brought home in 5K that looks a lot like this one informed me that isn’t the case, though:

head-lice-handout

22 – Have you ever been utterly disappointed in someone? Yep.

23 – Have you ever been scared of someone? Definitely.

24 – What do you do when you’re drunk that you wouldn’t want anyone to know about? There was the time I recorded myself singing a bunch of Dixie Chicks songs, but otherwise, I’m usually amazeballs when I drink. I send the best drunk texts ever.

25 – Have you tried pole dancing? Nah.

26 – Have you been in a strip club? Yep, just to see what the big deal was.

27 – Have you ever run over an animal? Yeah, a squirrel. It made me cry.

28 – Have you ever peed in snow? Ew, why???

29 – Have you ever made fun of someone and then regretted it? Yeah, in high school. It was one of those payback situations, but I still knew better at the time and still regret it.

30 – What’s your favorite kind of question on Cards for Humanity (if you know the game)? I freaking love Cards Against Humanity! I don’t have a favorite, but seriously need to play it soon. Who’s up for a little Cards Against Humanity, Blog Style?

31 – If the father of your best friend hit on you, what would you say to him? I’d tell him to fuck off.

32 – Would you go out on a date with someone half your age or double your age? No.

33 – Do you clean the sink after brushing your teeth? I rinse it out.

34 – Have you ever spat in someone’s food or drink? No.

35 – Have you ever kissed someone only to be grossed out afterwards? Yeah. Joys of being a teenager.

36 – What is your number one goal in life, and are you living it? My goal is to be the best person, wife, and mother I can be. Some days yes, some days no.

37 – Do you spy on your neighbor(s)? If yes, why? No. I make it a point not to talk to the neighbors.

38 – Have you ever danced and/or cried in the rain? Nah.

39 – Have you ever ditched work to just chill out on your own (with or without Netflix)? I once left work early so I could watch a March Madness game that my school was in.

40 – What do you wish you were doing right now (anything goes)? Building an empire.

This doesn’t appear to be one of those surveys where you tag 15 people and guilt them into answering the questions, but y’all know I want you to do it anyway. 😀

Fun Friday: Four Facts Survey

So, Vic over at Just Plain Ol’ Vic nominated me for the Four Facts Survey thing, and of course I’m doing it.

Four names people call me other than my real name? Mommy, Baby Girl (although that one isn’t used much now since we have the real deal), Pokey, and wayyyy back in my middle school days — Tuna. I got that nickname much like Jim on The Office.

jim-the-office

Four jobs that I have had? Video store manager, teacher, book stocker, and freelancer.

Four movies that I have watched more than once? A League of Their Own, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Toy Story 3.

Four books or authors I’d recommend? Anything Nick Hornby has ever written, Little Bee, She’s Come Undone, and anything by Dennis LeHane except the historical fiction one because it’s boring.

Four places I have lived? I was born in California, but have been in South Carolina since I was a few months old. And that’s it, until I convince Sam to break away from the humid hell that is South Carolina.

Four places I have visited? Bahamas, Greece, Mexico, and Tennessee.

Four things I’d rather be doing right now? Sleeping, getting a new tattoo, telling Baby Girl congrats on ditching the bottle and going to sleep like a big girl, and playing PS4.

Four foods I do not like? Fish (except for occasionally tuna and salmon patties), vegetables, spicy stuff, and anything in a creamy sauce or that is otherwise mushy.

Four of my favorite foods? Steak, chicken parm, turkey sandwiches, and pizza.

Four shows I watch? The Walking Dead is the only one I stay current with, and that’s because certain assholes post updates all over Facebook. Otherwise, I usually just catch up on stuff in binge watch fashion, namely The Big Bang Theory, Grey’s Anatomy, and Superstore.

Four things I am looking forward to this year? I dunno, keeping the status quo?

Four things I am always saying? “I swear to god…,” “Stop whining,” “Say ‘sorry!'” and “I love you.”


The people I’d like to see do the survey:

Confessions

I Could Be Batman

Dramatic Momologue

Kisma’s Life

All In A Dad’s Work

Joeyfully Stated

Words From Sonobe

Delightfully Unexpected

(You’re under no obligation to do this survey, but if you don’t, then you need to find a lock of hair from an infant, sprinkle it with dog dandruff, douse it in lighter fluid, set it on fire with only a Zippo lighter, and then toss the remains over your shoulder while hopping on one foot and singing MMMBop. Otherwise you’ll have no luck for 15 hours.)