soccer

Things Kids Say Thursday: Happy Birthday, Batman

Today is my birthday. I’m 33, so — as I’ve been reminded by my husband — I can no longer claim to be “just into my 30s” or my early “30s.” It’s mid-30s now, or so he says. He’s six years older than me, so all those years of teasing him about being old are coming back to bite me.

This morning I told Baby Girl that today is my birthday, hoping she’d sing Happy Birthday in the adorable way that she does.

“No, it not,” she answered. “It not Mommy’s birthday. It’s Batman’s birthday. Happy birthday, Batman!”

Da hell?

“No, it’s Mommy’s birthday today,” I tried again.

“No! It NOT Mommy’s birthday. It Batman’s birthday!” she argued. And then she started singing. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Batman, happy birthday to you.”

blanche-side-eye

She cut her toy birthday cake and sang to her Batman again later — not a word for her mommy. Fucking caped crusader.

The birthday was pretty good, but very non-eventful aside from getting flowers. We’ll try to celebrate on Sunday after the Busiest Week Ever finishes. Little Man has had soccer every day since Sunday and will have it again tomorrow (his team will play for the All Star Championship). Plus I’ve been trying to complete a laundry list of deep cleaning chores, get our sweaters ready, get Little Man’s costume stuff together for the program on Monday, go to appointments, decorate, plus the usual stuff. I believe the drinks I have on Saturday will be well deserved.

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Baby Girl Got It

Last week I made a post about Baby Girl being less than thrilled with me when I told her not to stick her hand down her diaper and grab her poop. It was her poop and her stinky butt, after all — who was I to interfere with that, right? Well, yesterday was Baby Girl’s Revenge.

While I was doing dishes, BG walked up to me looking absolutely gleeful and had her arm outstretched.

“Mommy, I got it! I got it!”

She waved her hand at me, and I noticed that there was something covering her fingers. She got it all right — a fist full of squishy poop. (Hope you weren’t eating.) I used lots of wipes. Lots and LOTS of wipes, followed by lots and lots of soap.

Not poop. This is cho

From a different day — not poop. This is one is chocolate, thankfully.

I ordered some long sleeve onesies on Amazon for her to wear under her shirts to make digging around in there a little more difficult while we wait for this phase to pass or for her to get potty trained. I’m not sure if either will happen before she turns three, because a) second child and b) she never makes things easy on us.

Now for some non shitty news…

Remember how Little Man hoped to make the soccer All Star team this year? They had a meeting over the weekend to rank the players, and Little Man was in a three-way tie for 9th place. He had to make the top ten to be on the team, so the coach over the team was going to think about it, decide which two to keep, and then let the ones that made it know. We didn’t hear anything all week, so we assumed that he didn’t make it. Disappointing, but coming in at 11th out of 70-odd kids in their division was still something to be proud of.

And then we got the call tonight letting us know that Little Mad had indeed made the team. They play for the county championship after Thanksgiving, so hopefully it goes well!

How are you guys doing? Anything new (and hopefully nonshitty) to report?

Weekend Coffee Share: Not Cat Poop, Not A Flood, And Not Quite Preschool

If we were having coffee, I would shock you by fixing myself a cup of coffee. Yeah, you read that right — Mrs. Coffee Hater over here just might have a cup. One of my goals this year was to learn to like something new, and coffee was high on that list, as I absolutely love the smell of it, but hated the taste. I set out to find a coffee that wasn’t too bitter. Mission accomplished. It’s a Green Mountain breakfast blend with loads of creamer, but it’s still coffee.

Screenshot 2016-09-04 at 10.31.40 AM

I’m not sure how often I’ll be drinking, since the caffeine made me jittery as hell (I looked it up and it’s three times the amount in a can of Coke, which I usually consume much more slowly), but it’ll be nice to have one every once in a while and not always have to order hot chocolate at Starbucks. I also bought some herbal tea to help with sleep so I can kick my Ambien habit and a mocha latte K-cup pack that comes with creamer. (So that’s TWO things for the yearly goal.) I was looking up the name of the mocha latte so I could be lazy and not have to get up, and this is what Google told me.

Screenshot 2016-09-04 at 10.11.42 AM

It’s not that. It’s Gevalia brand. And they’re froth packets, not creamer. Thanks for making me get my ass off the couch and ruining my laziness, Google.

Now you’re up to date on my coffee adventures.

If we were having coffee, I’d also tell you that our dog came home on Wednesday. He has to stay on crated bed rest for a month, aside from going out to use the bathroom, per the vet, but we set up Baby Girl’s old play yard for him, so he has more space. He’s getting around well when we take him out to use the bathroom. He wanted to run and go after a dog that came in the yard on Friday, so that’s a good sign.

Screenshot 2016-09-04 at 10.31.20 AM

Did y’all see the news about Hurricane Hermine? We were supposed to get 9 inches in my part of South Carolina, had flood watches and all that, so I kept LM home from school on Friday. The other districts around us had announced early dismissal, but not ours, of course. We live quite a ways away from the school, so rather than risk getting caught in a flash flood, I kept him home. There were no flash floods, and barely a couple inches of rain the last I checked, thankfully, but you can bet LM was happy to get a four-day weekend!

LM starts soccer on Monday. And Baby Girl starts her Mommy’s Morning Out thing at the preschool on Wednesday. Big week! The school had orientation on Thursday night, and one little boy hit BG and made her cry because he wanted her toy. The kid ended up being the grandson of the teacher who paddled me in elementary school (I didn’t do anything wrong, but that’s a story for another day). I told Sam that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I know that sort of thing will happen, though. I was surprised that as assertive as BG is with LM (she’ll clobber him if he gets in her face or takes something from her), that she cried. (The kid’s mom scolded him and made him say sorry, in case you’re wondering.)

Hmm…what else? I’m sure you don’t want to hear about grocery shopping yesterday, or watching lots of college football this weekend, so I’m going to stop here. Have a good weekend!

What’s been going on with you this week?


Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Diana at Part-Time Monster.