W is for Webtrovert, #AtoZChallenge

Today’s textspeak is one of my favorites so far (and likely will be my favorite overall, since we’re close to the end and all).

Are you much more outgoing online than you are in real life? If so, you might be a:

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Some people are people persons. They’re charming, outgoing, and generally thrive on being around other people. I am not one of those people. But maybe you wouldn’t know that if you only know me from my amazeballs online personality. Well, unless you’ve read one of the 164 posts where I mentioned being introverted and having the social anxiety. I am webtroverted to the nth degree.

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The Internet is awesome for introverts, isn’t it? We can be in complete control of our social stuff without having to put ourselves out there more than we are comfortable with or face the judgment that comes with diligently checking stuff on the phone and ignoring people.

Long live webtroversion.

Alternative meaning: None.

Textspeak I passed up: WTF (what the fuck), WITW (what in the world), WTG (way to go), WYD (what you doing).

Are you webtroverted?

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V is for Voluntold, #AtoZChallenge

Remember how I complained about passwords a few days ago? Well, the Password Curse has struck again. I was trying to erase part of my Internet history for totally non-naughty reasons and when I cleared out my cookies and cache, it logged me out of everything. Not a problem if you know your user name and passwords, but that ain’t me.

So, why am I telling you this? The website I use — Canva — to do the little graphic was logged out and I have no idea which email I used to sign up. Shouldn’t be a problem, except for I have like a dozen throwaway emails. (This comes from Emailnesia, the disease where you forget your throwaway email login info momentarily and have to create another.) Anyway, I had to go with a new — gasp — account and create a new — gasp — graphic. Now those of you who get twitchy eyed over minor changes like I do have an explanation for the minor graphic change, and those of you who aren’t that way are at least slightly annoyed and are possibly muttering curse words at me.

VOLUNTOLD

And on we go.

Being voluntold is exactly what it sounds like — someone volunteers you to do something you either had no intention of doing or don’t want to do. Some people are experts at voluntelling, like my husband’s mother.

“E, since you’re so good with computers, I told Jenny that you could take a look at her’s and see what’s wrong with it, maybe fix it up so that it runs faster. You don’t mind do you?”

Another example of being voluntold to do something is our current school’s mandatory volunteer hours. At Little Man’s old school, if you volunteered to help out, that meant you offered to help out of your own free will. Ain’t no such thing as voluntary volunteer hours when you have to do at least 30 per year or your kid gets kicked out. (In fairness, about half of the hours include things like PTO meetings and conferences…but that takes the fun  but of mockplaining.) And when your kid is late a certain number of times, you get to tack on an extra hour to the total you need to complete. They should start calling them Voluntold Hours.

Alternative meaning: none.

Textspeak I passed up: VIP (very important person), VBG (very big grin), and VEG (very evil grin).

Does anyone voluntold you for things, or are you the one doing the voluntelling?

U is for Unkeyboardinated, #AtoZChallenge

Are you good at typing, whether it’s on a tiny little smartphone keyboard or a regular sized keyboard? Or are you prone to fucking up? If the later is true, you can call yourself —

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I found this little gem — where else — on Urban Dictionary. Here’s the meaning:

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While Little Man was getting ready for school this morning, he asked me how fast I type. I’m used to his random questions by now, so rather than ask why my typing speed is important to know at 7:30 in the morning, I just answered.

“I dunno, probably 120 words per minute.”

Little Man laughed. “No, it’s not! Come on Mommy, be for real.”

“I am for real. I used to type that fast. Probably still type close to that.”

He laughed again and walked off, undoubtedly think that I was full of shit. He doesn’t know how typing pretty fast was what I was known for in middle school. Some people are known for being athletic, others are known for getting to third base, but I was known for typing shit really fast. This came in useful pretty much never in middle school, except for when people wanted me to type something for them. And then it wasn’t a matter of “I’ll give you two sticks of gum and 50 cents for canteen if you type this for me,” so much as it was “type this or I’ll tell everyone you like Cute Guy.” Bastards.

I did check my typing speed again, of course, and as it turns out, LM was partially right — I am not typing 120 WPM anymore. But I’m not unkeyboardinated, either.

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It’s your turn. Are you unkeyboardinated or pretty fucking keyboardinated? Take the one-minute typing test here.

Alternative meanings: None.

Textspeak I passed up: UN (utter nonsense), UOK (are you okay), UTM (you the man), and UOENO (you don’t even know).

A is for ATM

My theme for the April A to Z Challenge is textspeak. This includes acronyms, abbreviations, and other slang that appears in text messages. Some of these you’ll know, and some you probably won’t, either because it’s not in your texticon (lexicon, texticon, see what I did there?) or because I made it up due to lack of better — or any — options.

For the first day of this challenge, I give you:

NYC

ATM, I’m trying really hard to resist the temptation to purchase the digital copy of Star Wars: The Force Awakens on Amazon and watch it while my family sleeps. (This is a scheduled post, in case you’re thinking that my family is a bunch of lazy bums.) Since I don’t want to face Little Man’s wrath should he find out I watched it without him (nor do I want to spend the day barely being able to keep my eyes open), I guess I’ll wait and do the family movie night and pizza thing.

ATM, I’m thinking about pulling off the ultimate April Fool’s Day prank (ultimate if you’re over 30 and have kids, anyway) on Sam, which I wrote about here. I tested out the prank while Sam was out on Tuesday, and it worked fine. It made a pretty loud noise with three poppers, and I plan to put at least 20 on the toilet rim. If you don’t see a “B is for…” post, send someone to check on me.

ATM, I’d like to wish those of you participating in the A to Z Challenge the best — may the writing force be with you.

Alternative meaning: ass to mouth.

Textspeak I passed up: AMF (adios, motherfuckers) and ATAB (ain’t that a bitch).

So…what are you doing ATM besides reading this post?