Braaaain Dump, Feb 27 Edition

Wanna know the worst thing about winter? It’s not ice. It’s not snow. It’s not even the depletion of Vitamin D and the low moods that go with it.

Does this even qualify as being snow? It’s from our big “snowstorm.”

The. Yearly. Fucking. Physical.

That’s the worst part of winter.

Our insurance company gives us a $500 “discount” on insurance if we get the physicals and send in our data. And by discount, I mean “Here’s your set price, and you’ll pay an extra $40 bucks per month on top of that if you don’t go get this done.” I don’t think they quite grasp how discounts usually work.

So, this time of year I make a post where I bitch and moan because I hate getting physicals done. No one likes it, no one likes getting their blood drawn, and no one especially likes having to weigh in and all the fun that comes with that. Frankly, it ended up likely being a good thing I went this year, but I’ll still grumble now and every year that I’m on this blog.

The paperwork for the discount is due February 28. Ideally, you go sometime in January. Much to my husband’s dislike, I put off the appointment as long as possible. I went in Monday, which didn’t please my husband, because he said that wasn’t long enough for them to get the lab results, complete the paperwork (it’s just two sheets, sigh), and fax it (fax, not snail mail). It makes him sweat bullets, because apparently $500 will make or break us. Not really, thankfully, but you’d think it is a matter of life or death or something. His irritation is kind of amusing, and I’d be lying if I said that didn’t factor into my procrastination. (She had it faxed in 24 hours.)

Monday was the general unpleasantness, plus a little extra. I’ve had a spot on the top right of my forehead for a couple years. It started out really small and pink, and then it got yucky and crusty and a bit larger and itchy. (Gross, but hey, my side swept bangs conveniently cover it.) The PA I saw a couple years ago when it came up brushed it off once and then twice. After the spot went rather 3D, I decided to get my new doctor look at it. She called it a pre-cancerous lesion and froze it off. I have to go see a dermatologist in a couple of months to check out some other moles/spots she’s concerned about and see if any of the spot she froze off grew back.

I’m very white, very freckled, and have probably had a hundred sunburns easily, so it was just a matter of time before something like this came up. Hopefully all goes well in a couple months, and this is a good reminder for me to stop being so sporadic with my use of sunscreen. (It’s also a good reminder for those of you who are kinda slack like me, so sunscreen up.) And, despite my blog name, I’m not all anxious about it. So there’s that.

In other general unpleasantness, there’s me. I know that comes as a shock to y’all, since I’m a ray of sunshine, but it’s true, I am prone to bouts of unpleasantness. This one is likely a bipolar thing, which my psychiatrist is trying to help me get back to my version of normal. (And my normal is so not normal normal, but it’ll do.)

His suggestion last month when we talked and I told him about the unpleasantness (read: mild depressive moods, bad anxiety, shit sleep, and severe irritability, hence the unpleasantness) was to reduce one of my meds. I’ve been taking Wellbutrin along with Lamictal for a while, like almost two years I think, and it made things so nice for the most part. The Lamictal helped a lot, but the Wellbutrin did a good job of leveling out the depressive moods I was prone to.

After reducing the Wellbutrin throughout January and most of February, I saw the psych again on Tuesday, and he decided to take me off of it completely. I was reluctant, because I worry that changing things could make things worse. And maybe this is just a small hurdle I need to get over and things will get back to my normal soon. And if I stop taking it now and things get sucky then…blah blah. I stopped it, though, because this guy is good and the reasons he gave made sense. So, we’ll see what happens over the next few days.

(So maybe I’ll be steering this blog back to mental health stuff for a while.)

I have been bitten by the reading bug in 2020. It’d be nice to get bitten by the writing bug or the cleaning bug, but this bug has me reading.

  • You
  • Hidden Bodies
  • Todd Fisher’s My Girls
  • The Wolf of Wall Street
  • This Boy’s Life
  • The Rooster Bar
  • The Storyteller
  • Carrie Fisher’s Wishful Drinking
  • Carrie Fisher’s Shockaholic

This has been a nice break from all the autism reading.

Two things: First, I’m obviously on a Carrie Fisher kick. I adored her, and as a fellow bipolar person, I am fascinated by her life. Second, about half of my reading list has been bio stuff, which I don’t usually do, but I’ve enjoyed it.

What have y’all read this year, and so you have any recommendations?

Anyone Find My Lung?

So, I ended up with bronchitis, and it has been kicking my ass. I’m talking coughing-spasms-till-you-pee-yourself. TMI? Probably, but thank god for pads. I think the worst is over now, but knowing my history with bronchitis and my lovely asthmatic lungs, I probably won’t be at 100 percent for a while. (But is anyone really at 100 percent from January to March/April when the flu and colds and stomach bugs are going around? I’ll have plenty of company, I’m sure.)

Wanna hear what my sympathetic child said to me not once, but twice while I was at my sickest?

“Could you stop breathing, please? I don’t like the sound you make when you breathe now.”

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Tonight the girl suggested putting on her noise-canceling headphones while I listened to her so she wouldn’t have to hear my funny breathing. I told her to just take the book to her dad.

We were supposed to be on a cruise ship a week from Thursday, but that isn’t happening. I can’t remember if I already posted about this or not, but we had to cancel due to some health issues with my FIL. I’m really down about that because a break would be so damn nice and welcomed, but it is what it is. Silver lining, I won’t have to worry about hacking up a lung on a cruise ship (because I doubt I’ll be back to normal by then), nor will I have to worry about BG, who is becoming the Anxious Kid to my Anxious Mom.

And before I sound like some asshole worrying about a vacation when someone else is having health issues, let me say that he’s doing well right now. And he and MIL insisted it would be fine for us to go. It’s just that if a health issue comes up, it’s not like we can get back easily to get the kids. If we were in the U.S. and could easily catch a flight, it would be a little different. And we may do something like that next month, since MIL is insisting we need to get away, though I’m not sure how much of that is about us vs. about her getting some extra time with the grands lol.

You’d probably think with all the sick time I’ve had that I would be blogging or catching up on reading, but nah. I have been reading some books, though. I read a John Grisham book to start off the year. And then I binge-watched Unbelievable and the two seasons of You on Netflix over the past sick week. Unbelievable was incredible, and I see why everyone is obsessing over You. I wasn’t expecting to like it, but it hit me right in my guilty pleasure feels. I spent the two days after that reading the two books the show is based on. It is so not the kind of thing I would typically watch or read, but it hooked me.

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I need something else to read now, preferably something that isn’t making me cheer on a nutso serial killer.

What up, people?

Weekend Coffee Share: Boring Week

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that we have mostly been hiding away inside all week. With temps over 100, there wasn’t a lot of going outside until over in the evening. Luckily, my dad fixed the problem with our AC unit (apparently the breaker didn’t have enough…voltage or something and kept tripping), so we were able to stay cool indoors at least.

We had to go to the girls therapies and get her hair cut this week, but otherwise, it was pretty uneventful. I didn’t have much planned in the way of indoor activities and crafts, so we mostly read, played video games, watched movies, and played board games. A couple summers ago, I had crafts and science experiments planned for pretty much every day, but this year has been much lazier. I have been pinning stuff on Pinterest, so at some point, that will change.

Speaking of reading, LM has been complaining. In my Facebook Memories, one popped up from a couple years ago, where he had read for 3000 minutes at this point for the library program. That’s 50 hours, or a little over an hour per day, which isn’t a lot, but still good. He hasn’t even finished a book this summer, which is very disappointing. I make him (yes, I have to make him) sit down every day, but he’s only halfway through a Harry Potter book. He told his dad that he shouldn’t have to read because he’ll get enough of that when school starts. What happened to my little bookworm?! He only wants to play video games and build with his LEGO blocks.

BG, on the other hand, can’t get enough of being read to. As some of y’all already know, she read her first book out loud yesterday. It was one she hadn’t read before, and she zoomed through it so quickly that there’s no doubt in my mind that she has been able to read at least somewhat for a while now. I rather doubt that she’ll read much for others just yet, because that’s how she rolls, but I’m so proud of her. She has struggled in a lot of areas developmentally, so it’s great to see her “win” one.

So, coffee folks, if we were still drinking, I’d tell you that I’m at a loss for anything else to tell you for this week. I swear, my life has gotten so boring lately in terms of juicy (or interesting) stuff to share. That or my memory sucks, and I’m pretty sure it’s the former. Boredom is good, I suppose, since that means there’s no shit hitting the fan anywhere.

As the random girl who popped into the break room in college, looked around, and then quickly darted off said, “Ta-ta for now.”

Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Eclectic Alli.