It’s been at least a couple months since I last did one of these types of posts. It’s possible that one day someone’s gonna steal my identity because of these posts, but identity theft shall not get in the way of my guilty pleasure. My post today is courtesy of Eli at Coach Daddy and Eric from All In A Dad’s Work. When I say “courtesy,” I mean I’m stealing it from them, just as they borrowed it from others.
Without further ado…
A: Age | 32
One more year and I’ll be in my mid-thirties, pretty much. Excuse me while I go buy another pair of Converse sneakers and add some more blue to my hair to make myself feel younger.
B: BIGGEST FEAR | Something bad happening to the kids or my husband.
No, I’m not going to elaborate on this. To do so would mean that I’d be up half the night freaking out about something that isn’t probable, yet possible.
As a bonus and more lighthearted “biggest fear,” I’ll say that I’m also afraid someone will try to force feed me something nasty, like zucchini or grits.
C: CURRENT TIME | 10:13 p.m.
The kids are in bed. Hallelujah!
D: DRINK I LAST HAD | Tea sweetened with Splenda.
Ugh, diets. But at least I sorta get my sweet tea fix. And, hey, I’ve lost 6 pounds from the first of the year, so that helps.
E: EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO | The therapist.
That might come as a surprise since I wasn’t all gung-ho about therapy, but I take comfort in knowing that I can pretty much tell the therapist anything that I work up the courage to tell her, that she can’t tell anyone else (unless, ya know, danger to self or others), and that anytime I decide I don’t want someone in my life knowing certain personal things, that I don’t ever have to see her again.
F: FAVORITE SONG | Put Me Back Together by Weezer
In preparation for Sam possibly beating me at our weight loss challenge, I’ve been listening to Weezer in the car more. This is one of my favorite songs of theirs. Naming a single favorite song overall from any of my favorite bands would be damn near impossible, so that’s the best I can offer.
G: GROSSEST MEMORY | Baby Girl pooping in the tub. And eating her poop.
Sam and I have both faced the wrath of her bowels in the tub over the past week. This new pooping schedule must end.
H: HOMETOWN | Somewhere Rural As Fuck, South Carolina
I’m very close to the home of the future Super Bowl Champions, the Carolina Panthers.
I: IN LOVE WITH | My husband
Who else would I say? Luke Kuechly? Charlie Hunnam?
J: JEALOUS OF | People who have their shit together.
But, since I’m approaching my mid-thirties, maybe that’ll happen soon.
K: KILLED SOMEONE? | Nope.
I have, however, given people such dirty looks behind their backs that they’d wish they were dead if they knew what had happened.
L: LONGEST RELATIONSHIP | The husband.
We’re coming up on 12 years together and 10 years married.
M: MIDDLE NAME | Something everyone mispronounces.
Not that I’m bitter. I’m not bitter about relatives misspelling my first name, either.
N: NUMBER OF SIBLINGS | 5
Here’s how it goes: there’s my full sister, my half brother, my other half brother that I haven’t seen since he was a baby (but we did connect on Facebook), and my two stepsiblings. I don’t like doing family trees.
O: ONE WISH | That Baby Girl would stop throwing shit on the floor.
No, not actual shit, lest you assume that from the earlier comment. But all her food. Namely bananas. Sometimes I miss picking up a piece of banana, which gets dark and slimy super quick, and stepping on those makes me die a little inside.
P: LAST PERSON YOU CALLED | My husband.
As someone who rarely talks on the phone because of sucky hearing, I pretty much only talk to two people on the phone: my husband and my mother-in-law. I wouldn’t talk to my MIL on the phone if she could text without putting a period after every single word. Most other calls get screened and texted back. My best friends are awesome and never call me.
Q: QUESTION YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED | When are you going back to teaching?
I. Am. Not. Asking me this repeatedly is not going to change that. First, I have my children. Second, I’d never, ever teach English again (save for extenuating circumstances, and even then, my license has lapsed). It took years to get comfortable saying “ain’t,” and I’m not giving that up.
R: REASON TO SMILE | We might be getting snow this weekend.
We got an hour’s worth of snow last weekend (it briefly stuck to the ground, but all evidence was gone by noon), and now the weather man is predicting that we’ll get snow this weekend. Or sleet. It better not be sleet.
S: SONG YOU LAST SANG | Pork And Beans by Weezer
Like I said, I was on a Weezer kick today.
T: TIME YOU WOKE UP | 7 a.m.
Why can’t everything happen at 11 a.m. so I can sleep until the appropriate time of 10 a.m.?
U: UNDERWEAR COLOR | I don’t know.
Really. And I’m not peaking down my pants for the sake of this post, either.
V: VACATION DESTINATION | On a boat.
I don’t care if it’s somewhere tropical or not. I like to go on cruises, so put me on a boat and I’ll be a happy woman. Plus, I love to randomly yell out, “Look at me, ’cause I’m sailing on a boat!” People think it’s cuter when Little Man does it, though.
W: WORST HABIT | Overthinking things.
Hooray for anxiety! Hooray for OCD!
X: X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD | Not an easy question for someone who is clumsy.
I think I’ve only had a few foot x-rays, an arm x-ray, an ankle x-ray (yep, I’m separating that from “foot x-ray”), a knee x-ray, and a couple hand x-rays.
Y: YOUR FAVORITE FOOD | Chicken parm. And Steak. And chocolate.
Now I’m thinking “fuck this weight loss thing, I’m gonna go buy food.”
Z: ZODIAC SIGN | Sagitarius.
Eh. Some of that’s true. Some isn’t.
I made it to the end. And so did you if you’re still reading this! Now it’s your turn to continue the thievery.