Anxious Mom Writes Words

I am so tired of trying to think up titles for my posts.

Did y’all know Amazon does something called “Returnless Refunds” for some items now? I ordered a pack of primary notebooks for BG and intended to get the ones that have a drawing space, but instead got ones that had full writing pages. My mistake. I initiated a return so I could get the right ones, and apparently, Amazon doesn’t want some items back and will just straight up give your money back and let you keep the item.

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That’s the first I’ve heard of that, but okey-doke. I ordered the correct ones, and hopefully they’ll be here tomorrow. We’re doing both pandemic homeschooling and legit homeschooling this week, so the kids are gonna loooove me.

Really, though, LM started on the packet he got from his middle school on Friday because he’s excited about our plans. We’re going to study germs and have more fun than you ever thought would be possible while learning about that sort of thing. That’s the plan anyway. Both kids are helping me come up with themes for each week and are way more excited about this than I thought they’d be. We want to make petri dish cookies on the last day.

Ours will probably not look like that.

We’re going to do a couple of sheets on the school packet straight away each morning and then move on to our activities. Since a) the kids probably won’t go back to school anyway and b) the district will likely give kids longer than two weeks to complete the packets, we will do a little each day so that it gets done but spend most of our time on our units.

So, the girl had some good days last week! The meltdowns were minimal up until Saturday.

We did a first as a family of four — we went fishing. My friend messaged me and suggested I bring the kids fishing at her pond, and my husband decided it was time for BG to try fishing. He loves to go fishing, so it was a big deal for him. BG was excited about it, too. I tried to prepare her for what to expect (“Sometimes people don’t catch anything…), and I brought a picnic basket with snacks in it (this is the one way to keep the child content).

Wouldn’t you know the girl had the first catch of the day? It was on her first cast and she got a bite in what seemed like less than 30 seconds. It was wild. She was so happy. She took a break then from all of the fishing and chilled out on her little camper chair and had a snack. I got to use her little Paw Patrol pole to fish (and I caught a few, too). She begged me to try to catch a huge turtle that was swimming around the pond on my hook and didn’t quite understand why that wouldn’t work too well. 😀 ❤

We drove separately so I could bring back BG if she was having a rough time, and we ended up staying an hour before we were both ready to head back. My husband was ready to leave, too, but LM wanted to stay, so they fished for another hour and had some nice daddy-son time. BG told me on the way home that she loved fishing. That was probably the most fun we’ve had some the quarantine started.

I might not be an outdoorsy sort of person, but I think I can get behind more of this. (As long as it’s in the evening and not too hot!)

And yall, I totally took a fish off a hook. My husband had his hands full with BG’s fish at one point and LM needed help, so I stepped up.

My husband’s face:

Surprised Pikachu | Know Your Meme

My husband said he was shocked I would even touch a fish, let alone hold one long enough to remove the hook. I didn’t know how long fish can last out of water, though, so I did what I had to.

Thor Ragnarok GIF - Thor Ragnarok ChrisHemsworth - Discover ...

Hehe. Those arms, though.

So, BG had a few good days, but Saturday and Sunday were rough ones for her meltdown-wise, and guess what…the fever is back. (I think the fever was there for the majority of her really bad meltdown days as well.) It was away for a week but was 101.8 yesterday at one point. I checked her temperature throughout the day, and it’s normal at times, but warm at others. She had bursts of energy here and there the past two days, but mostly complained of being tired. She also mentioned having a headache and then feeling nauseous and threw up once, but her stomach didn’t bother her again after I gave her the reflux medicine.

I’m going to talk to her doctor again tomorrow if the fever is still there. Or maybe I should talk to her regardless if this is going to be a “comes and goes” deal. I hate the idea of putting her through getting her blood drawn if it’s just a viral thing that’s kinda hanging around. She had to be held down by me, the doctor, and the nurse (the nurse half held down, half gave the shot) when she had her last round of vaccines, so this would go much worse.

On another note, let me tell y’all what my son did. No, let me tell you what my husband’s son did. (That’s how we do things when people fuck up, right? They become someone else’s son/husband/whatever.) I was checking my email yesterday morning and had three emails about Playstation purchases. THREE. That child made two purchases for $25 each and one for $10 to buy Fortnite skins. In case you can’t math, SIXTY DOLLARS. And in case you can math, SIXTY DOLLARS.

I was like WTF?? I asked about it and LM said, “Well, last night you said I could get a Fortnite skin for doing so much work outside.”

Oh, no.

What happened was I told him he could get some V-Bucks (Fortnite dollars) to get a skin like he did the last time worked hard outside with his dad. He got $10 for V-Bucks last time. I asked him in what world did saying he could get some V-Bucks mean spend $60. “Well, I said I wanted the Deadpool skins. I thought I could get those and give you some of my birthday money for the weapons pack.”

Michael Scott Mad GIFs | Tenor

And those skins don’t even DO anything. They give you another character to play as, but it doesn’t impact the game at all.

My debit card is no longer linked to the Playstation account, and LM has a bit more work to do in the coming weeks. Sigh.

I think I mentioned trying to learn how to sew on one of these posts, but if I didn’t, I know a few of y’all know from Instagram. I’ve been doing better at it! I’m hoping to get some fabric and make blankets for the kids. The ones I make will be more expensive than just buying one, but I hope it’s something they’ll want to hold on to as they get older.

I have made and given out 30 masks for the COVID stuff. My first few masks look straight up awful, but I finally found a pattern that was almost foolproof and didn’t have as many issues. I went from this:

Looks like someone butchered a poor bra.

To this:

WoWo’s in distress because her movie was rescheduled!

Craaaazy eyes!


So, last week I mentioned doing a Zoom happy hour type thing and a few of y’all expressed interest. Yay! I hope to set that up for sometime this week. I’ll email y’all and figure out dates/times. If anyone else is interested, you can message me at thatanxiousmom@gmail.com.

Whoever participates, DON’T BE LIKE JENNIFER.

I laughed so hard at this video. Those people’s reactions were priceless.

“I saw nothing.”

Have a good week, y’all 🙂

Today Was Better

My sleep has been shitty lately (or shittier lately), so right now I’m waiting on an Ambien to kick in. If things get weird, then you’ll know why.

The girl had two screaming fits today. (Technically yesterday since I’m writing at almost 2 in the morning, but I haven’t gone to sleep yet, so it’s still today for me, dawg.)

That’s right — two.

And only one of them lasted for more than a couple of minutes. And neither of them involved biting herself or the couch. (Yeah, I forgot to mention that one, sigh.) And she didn’t tell me she hated me at all. The main fit was when she couldn’t find her Llama Llama stuffie to sleep with, and y’all know how little kids get when they can’t find their stuffie. That stuffie isn’t anything special, but she had it in her head that she wanted to sleep with it tonight, and it was nowhere to be found. Yikes. After some drama, she ended up settling for Spider-Man.

I have no idea why today was so different from all of the other days. I didn’t change up anything up, so there’s nothing I can really point to and say, “Hey, we did this differently and things were better, so let’s do it again and maybe we’ll have more good days!” And it wasn’t a free-for-all day where she got her way all day, either. She ate the same things food-wise (grits, PB&Js, fish sticks).

I almost had happy tears after getting BG to bed. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for her having such a good day.

And I’m happy on a personal level as well. I didn’t feel depressed, anxious, or on edge at all today.

the office gif * s2 Jim Halpert Sophie pam beesly dailyscranton •

I feel so much lighter.

The kids are technically on Spring Break this week. I have sorted out the packets, so we have busy work if we need it, but I doubt that will happen. (Unless LM keeps mouthing off…in which case, I’m gonna get on his Fortnite account and play while he does packets. 😉 )

I really don’t have anything planned for the week. Our outside-the-house options are hanging out in our yard; taking a walk around the neighborhood; using my friend’s pond or my dad’s pond to go fishing. BG will probably go along with fishing for about 5 minutes before wanting to leave. My friend also has a bike trail we can use, but LM is the only one with a bike. (BG has a trike that she still struggles to pedal, so it’s not going on a trail.) The school near us has a nice big paved parking lot, so we might take the kids up there to ride their scooters if no one else is around.

It’s nice to have a few options. It isn’t Carowinds or the Great Wolf Lodge as the kids had hoped for Spring Break, but we have more options than others. My husband also ordered some stuff to fix our above ground pool, so maybe it will be open by the end of the month. We didn’t get to use it last year because of problems, so hopefully he can get it ready for this year. If not, then I hope he tears it down, because it takes up a lot of space in the backyard.

I am going to get my husband to look into some telehealth services. Since BG’s place isn’t doing them, maybe we can find someone who does. I think someone else talking to her about stuff would go over much better than with us.

I think we should get a golf cart.

I also think some of us blog ladies should have a Virtual Girls Night Out. We can use Zoom while we eat and drink (preferably rum drinks or margaritas)  and pretend like we’re out having fun. And if anyone hears screaming in the background, then we can just pretend that we’re having our Girls Night Out in a war zone.

Quarantine Week 5

Is it day 892 in quarantine? Because it sure feels like it.

I got out of the house last week. I had to drop off the kids’ completed homeschool packets and pick up new ones. At the first school, they had a drive-through type thing where you didn’t have to get out and be around anyone. The people who gave the new packets had on masks and gloves. At the second school, you had to get out, ring the doorbell, open the door, go in and hang out in the tiny lobby with four other people working, and no social distancing whatsoever was being practiced. No masks or gloves, either. Gah.

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Replace “Utica” with “the school” if I caught something from them.

I have finally accomplished something in the quarantine. I wrote three short stories over the past week. Hence my not being on WordPress much. Thirty pages written and edited multiple times. I’m very happy about that. The deadline to submit the stories to be considered for the anthology was today, and I submitted them at 1:30 in the morning. I hope one gets accepted. *Fingers crossed* One of the stories was a continuation of another story that I published, one was about a single mom finding out her kid as autism (I love the “capture the emotion of the moment” type stories, so that’s what I usually write), and one was a horror type store, which is new for me. I am close to having enough completed short stories to self-publish a book of stories of my own. #Goals

Any little bit of emotional regulation BG has improved on is long gone. I really don’t know what to do with her now, but we’re talking several severe meltdowns per day over just anything. (They make her old meltdowns pale in comparison.) It feels like she spends an hour per day shrieking. And to make it worse, she’s biting herself a lot and has several big bite mark bruises on her arms. I really wish her therapy place would have done the telehealth visits so her therapist could help work with her on this some. We have several strategies to help BG with regulation, but they aren’t helping at all. I am at a loss. This quarantine stuff is rough on everyone, but is really taking a toll on her.

Easter was good, shrieking aside. We got the kids stuff to keep them busy for their baskets — LEGOs and board games. We did an Easter egg hunt and then goofed out for the rest of the day, which isn’t all that different from most days. I had planned to make a chicken casserole for Easter lunch, but we had some electrical issues. My husband was trying to spray a wasp outside and sprayed one of the fixture and then we lost power for a while. Everything is good now, though. My dad came over to drop off a go-kart for LM today and helped fix things. It was weird to have someone else in the house for a bit.

What is social distancing? Hint: You can go outside. - UCHealth Today

I’m glad everything is working now.

If y’all are looking for a new show to watch in quarantine, check out Superstore. One of the producers from The Office created it. Much of the first season is rocky (much like The Office and Parks and Rec), but by the end of that season, it has me for real laughing out loud. It’s on Hulu.

How are y’all doing? I tried to catch up on some blog reading earlier — if I missed yours, drop a link in the comments.

Birthday Boy

It’s the boy’s 12th birthday. How is he that old? How are we just a year from him being a teenager? Where the hell did the time go? I swear, it was just yesterday that he was letting me dress him in a cute little black and white striped polo shirt, blue jeans, and black and white Converses for his first day at preschool.

(Now he does not let me dress him at all, at least not without a fight, and certainly won’t agree to polos or jeans on his own. Who the hell hates blue jeans?!)

The cake is in the oven. It’s a lemon cake, and it isn’t even from scratch, not that I’ll tell the boy that because he says he doesn’t like box cakes. (He also is blissfully unaware that my much loved strawberry cake is from a box, albeit not made with the box recipe, plus it has fresh strawberries.)

He had a birthday party with some friends on Saturday. We did an escape room for the first time, which was super fun. And it’ll probably be even more fun when my husband and I do one on our own as a date night, because those kids were unorganized and didn’t even get the first clue until the end, when the kid running it told them they missed it. But they finished with time to spare anyway, of course! Those are four super smart kiddos, though, so I’m not at all surprised.

One of the kids he invited is the girl I suspect he likes. Watching them together on Saturday made me think this even more, and I’m pretty sure it’s a mutual thing. It’s funny–this child is so unaware of personal space. If he’s sitting next to you at the table, then he’ll more than likely be half in your lap, because it’s like some kind of magnetism takes over that makes him be uncomfortably close to you. This was the case with his female friend, and she did not tell him to move. In fact, she was leaning into him and grinning, so that’s how I know.

It all went well, although I was kind of worried we’d get kicked out of the restaurant for those kids getting so loud. Lots of laughter, lots of obnoxiousness that you’d expect in a few sixth graders, etc. They had so much fun, though, although a nasty headache was settling in on the way home from the loudness.

Sunday was the family party. And I was kind of worried we’d get kicked out of that restaurant for BG and her cousin getting so loud.

There was one glorious moment when LM was opening his presents. He got a card from one of his grandparents, and it had money and a little tube inside.

“I know how you go through Chapstick,” she told him, “so I stuck a tube in there for you.”

I couldn’t see it clearly, but knew it did not look like Chapstick. After he was finished, my brother picked it up to look at it, since he didn’t think it looked like Chapstick, either. It wasn’t.

Image result for cold sore medicine

(Not the actual tube, but close enough.)

We both realized at the same time and about died laughing. My MIL wanted to know what was so funny, and I told her between gasps that she hadn’t bought her 12-year-old grandson Chapstick, but cold sore medicine. And boy was she embarrassed.

“I meant to get Chapstick! I know he isn’t doing anything to get cold sores!” LM doesn’t have the first clue about cold sores, but he knew she was embarrassed, which was enough for him to tease her and refuse to give it back.

Fun times.

Tonight it’ll just be the four of us. LM requested filet mignon for supper, so my husband is handling that. Mr. Fancy Pants. He already knows what we’re getting for his birthday since his list was so limited. I had exhausted my non-list ideas for Christmas and couldn’t come up with anything else. He asked for a new BB pistol, an Apple watch, and a cat. We can’t get a cat right now, which I told him, but I did get the other two items. (Albeit not an Apple brand watch because that went over our limit.)

I did not want to get him a BB pistol, but my husband was for it, so he’ll have one. (He has the typical BB rifle most boys get, and I confiscated that after he accidentally shot his sister in the face a couple years ago. My husband was supposed to be supervising, but didn’t supervise very well because he was letting him shoot at targets IN THE DIRECTION of where he was playing with BG. Wtf?) Hopefully no eyes are almost put out with this one, sigh.

Time to move on, so happy birthday LM!

Pounced Right Into The ER

We’ve had two ER visits since early December. One for LM and his gruesome finger injury and one for BG. And the reason for her visit scared me more than anything else ever has.

On Monday, the girl and I were on the bed playing lions. She was the lion and I was the gazelle, which she planned to eat for supper. When she scooted back a bit on the bed to pounce, she went too far and fell backwards off the bed. It seemed like it happened in slow motion. One second she had that big happy face she was trying to contort into a serious face to start her roar, and the next she was wide-eyed and going backwards.

She hit her head on the exercise bike next to the bed. I ran around to grab her, and she was screaming as blood came down from the back of her head. My husband ran in to see what was going on and grabbed some paper towels to stop the bleeding, but they were quickly soaked through. I grabbed a white towel and the part I pressed against her head quickly turned red, too.

“Drive to the ER or call 911?” I asked my husband. He said the hospital since by the time it took an ambulance to reach us, we could be almost at the ER anyway. I drove and he sat in the back with the girl. At that point, I was pretty fucking concerned, but not freaking out. And then my husband started yelling at BG to wake up. I looked around to see that she was barely keeping her eyes open. It took all three of us shouting to keep her awake. After we’d get her alert, she’d nearly doze off again.

“I can’t do this anymore!” she sobbed after getting her to wake up/alert several times.

Y’all, I was more scared than I’ve ever been then. Blood loss and a head injury and having to fight to keep her awake? I really thought I was about to lose her. And then LM started screaming that she was dying, which certainly didn’t help matters. I was praying up a storm.

Around that time, LM grabbed the phone and called 911. My husband took it and they told us not to stop and to continue driving to the hospital. Making it to the hospital without wrecking or running over someone is probably a miracle in itself.

When we went inside the ER, a nurse came out and checked out BG’s head. The bleeding had slowed down, so she put some gauze and a bandage on it and tossed the bloody towel we came in with. The girl was sobbing but wasn’t dozing off anymore and was alert, thankfully. The nurse said they were slammed because of the flu, but that BG would be seen quicker because of her age. I don’t want to know what not being seen quickly would have meant, as we waited almost four hours.

When they finally called BG back, we waited a while and then a doctor (well, a PA) came in. He spent a few minutes in with her and said she could go home after the nurse cleaned the wound. He said it looked worse than it was because head injuries bleed so much. The wound wasn’t as big as we thought it would’ve been, and the PA said he could put a staple in it to close it or wait and see if the pediatrician next day and see if she thought it needed one. We opted for waiting since BG was already freaking out from the guy examining her, and he had zero patience with her.

She wrote this note for me while we waited. Its meant to say, “Dear Mommy, I am okay. ❤ N–“

I was concerned about the possibility of concussion since BG was dozing off in the car, so I asked about that. The PA said no since she was talking and that sometimes kids get sleepy in cars. What happened with BG wasn’t the same as a kid napping, so I guess the loss of blood just had her feeling woozy. It seemed like so much at the time, but I guess it wasn’t, relatively speaking.

We saw a pediatrician the following day, and she thought her wound looked looked like it would heal fine, so no staple needed. Whew. (She was shocked that the guy at the ER let her leave without one if he thought it was possible she needed one, though.) She evaluated the girl for a concussion, too, and said she thought she was fine but to watch out for behavioral changes.

The wound seems to be healing up very nicely! BG has done a good job at not picking at the scab and letting us keep it clean, so I don’t think we’ll have to worry about infection.

It’s something how an injury that seemed life-threatening at one point ended up being totally fine. (Knock on wood!) My husband commented that he guessed she didn’t even need to go to the ER after all, but I think it was the right call, blood or no blood.

You’d think that the whole thing would make BG slow down a little, but nope. I went in my bedroom this afternoon and found her sitting on top of a stack of pillows on my bed.

“I’m on Pride Rock!” she said and roared and then fell off the stack. At least Pride Rock wasn’t at the edge of the bed.

On another note, it’s time to work on my next book — “Five Little Lion Cubs Catching A Gazelle On the Bed.” 😉

It’s The Illness That Wouldn’t End…

It goes on and on my friends,
Someone started coughing,
Not knowing what it was,
And I’ll keep on coughing for ever just because…

That’s my bastardization of the Lambchop song. I never watched the show, but my cousin used to sing it to annoy me, so I know it.

My cough does not want to go away. It’s not bad enough to go to the doctor, but it’s enough to make me feel yucky and drained. Thank the lord for some Mucinex, which gives me a little relief even though it makes me feel weird for whatever reason. Cold and allergy medicines do me that way.

I’ve been busy because that’s how we roll. (And I’m not contagious, crud just takes its time moving on from me.) I’ve been helping out at the girl’s school, doing project stuff, chauffeuring (a word I will apparently never learn how to spell, because I always get the red squiggle under the word and have to go back to fix it), etc. The usual.

New Year, New Little Man. It has been pretty obvious that he is starting to go through puberty. Tiny little mustache, slightly deeper voice. Plus he’s much moodier than normal and has been rather aggressive. We’ve had The Talk a few times (because no matter how thorough we think we are, more questions come up, so don’t think it’s One and Done, parents of younger kids) and my husband recently asked if he was interested in girls yet, but the boy said he wasn’t and that it was gross. A recent check on his phone revealed otherwise. I was not ready to see “Hot girls” and “girl boobz” in his search history. Where’d my baby go? All these other baby-faced sixth graders, and then there’s LM.

So, yeah, he’s interested. And he feels bad about it because it means he’s growing up, which he doesn’t want to do. Adolescence, such a tough time. I wouldn’t go back there for anything. He said he likes a girl, but won’t tell us who it is because he’s embarrassed. If I were a betting person, I’d bet that it’s the girl who he texts a lot and invited to his birthday party who has literally the exact same interests as him, but I’m not saying anything.

The New Year has brought us a slightly more bizarre version of Baby Girl. More bizarre to me, anyway. She gets obsessed with certain things, and now one of the things is lions and other wild animals from the African savanna. She can tell you a million little factoids, which is neat, but the bizarre part is how she walks around pretending to be an animal. Not surprising, but bizarre nonetheless when a child walks on all fours, growls, pounces on you, and bites you. This is what happens when you have a pet lion cub who is learning how to hunt and you’re an antelope, even if you didn’t realize you were an antelope. I think we’ve moved on from the body organ obsession now. (Never mind, it’s back.)

She also really loves hyenas, namely spotted hyenas. The zoo we went to didn’t have any hyenas, so we’re looking into nearby zoos that have them. Her school is having a masquerade ball, and she wanted me to make a hyena mask, so I did. I imagine it’ll stand out a bit from the other masks!

We met with the girl’s teacher and teacher assistant this week to discuss her progress. Everything is going well for the most part. Her teacher said she’s coming out of her shell and getting more comfortable with her classmates. She said BG seems interested in talking to more kids aside from the couple she bonded with early on, which they’re excited about. Unfortunately, she is talking a lot when she shouldn’t be, so she’s had to put her head down a few times. Her teacher said she doesn’t want to get on her much because she’s happy she’s comfortable and talking so much and doesn’t want her clamming up.

BG is also showing she’s getting more comfortable by being difficult at times. My words, not theirs. When they ask her to pick up her toys at centers or complete her work, she’ll tell them no and that she’s done. Yikes. They aren’t sure yet of her reading level because she shuts down and refuses to do more or answer questions to show she understands what she’s reading. Same with writing, which has improved greatly, but when she’s done, she’s done. Again, they don’t want to push her too much. They can tell she’s close to boiling over. She has liked her teachers from day one, but her letting her guard down is how we know she’s absolutely comfortable with who she’s around. Double-edged sword.

They had a lot of positive stuff to say overall and seem to really enjoy having her there. I’d hate to see how she would’ve done with LM’s kindergarten teacher at his old school. She complained constantly about him talking or squirming in his seat. I can only imagine how many meltdowns BG would’ve had at this point. BG’s class is very laid back and they get a lot of opportunity for moving around, as kids that age should.

After the meeting, I talked to BG about these things. No talking when the teacher is talking or when you’re otherwise not supposed to and when the teacher tells you to do something, listen and try your best. Her response:

“Well, when I grow up, I’ve decided I’m going to be a kindergarten teacher. And in my class, we’ll play all the time, talk when we want, plus I’ll hire someone to come in and clean up messes so the students won’t have to.”

That child.

Here’s some fun news — my husband and I are on for a cruise again. We’re going for a 3-day cruise on Valentine’s Day weekend. That Monday will be a holiday, so the other grandparents will have the day off to help as needed, plus the kids won’t need to be taken to school. If we plan any future trips together, we’ll have to make sure we do the holiday weekend thing, since that makes things easier.

We thought about doing something different. Trip to NYC or Las Vegas. My husband was taken aback by my itinerary, which scheduled practically every waking minute and noped out. Taking a bus from Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon and hiking and seeing it for the first time would’ve been awesome, but I’m definitely looking forward to the R&R. Hopefully my crud will be cleared up by then.

What’s new with y’all?

Anyone Find My Lung?

So, I ended up with bronchitis, and it has been kicking my ass. I’m talking coughing-spasms-till-you-pee-yourself. TMI? Probably, but thank god for pads. I think the worst is over now, but knowing my history with bronchitis and my lovely asthmatic lungs, I probably won’t be at 100 percent for a while. (But is anyone really at 100 percent from January to March/April when the flu and colds and stomach bugs are going around? I’ll have plenty of company, I’m sure.)

Wanna hear what my sympathetic child said to me not once, but twice while I was at my sickest?

“Could you stop breathing, please? I don’t like the sound you make when you breathe now.”

Image result for you want me to die gif

Tonight the girl suggested putting on her noise-canceling headphones while I listened to her so she wouldn’t have to hear my funny breathing. I told her to just take the book to her dad.

We were supposed to be on a cruise ship a week from Thursday, but that isn’t happening. I can’t remember if I already posted about this or not, but we had to cancel due to some health issues with my FIL. I’m really down about that because a break would be so damn nice and welcomed, but it is what it is. Silver lining, I won’t have to worry about hacking up a lung on a cruise ship (because I doubt I’ll be back to normal by then), nor will I have to worry about BG, who is becoming the Anxious Kid to my Anxious Mom.

And before I sound like some asshole worrying about a vacation when someone else is having health issues, let me say that he’s doing well right now. And he and MIL insisted it would be fine for us to go. It’s just that if a health issue comes up, it’s not like we can get back easily to get the kids. If we were in the U.S. and could easily catch a flight, it would be a little different. And we may do something like that next month, since MIL is insisting we need to get away, though I’m not sure how much of that is about us vs. about her getting some extra time with the grands lol.

You’d probably think with all the sick time I’ve had that I would be blogging or catching up on reading, but nah. I have been reading some books, though. I read a John Grisham book to start off the year. And then I binge-watched Unbelievable and the two seasons of You on Netflix over the past sick week. Unbelievable was incredible, and I see why everyone is obsessing over You. I wasn’t expecting to like it, but it hit me right in my guilty pleasure feels. I spent the two days after that reading the two books the show is based on. It is so not the kind of thing I would typically watch or read, but it hooked me.

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I need something else to read now, preferably something that isn’t making me cheer on a nutso serial killer.

What up, people?

Last Day of the Year Brain Dump

Hello, last day of the decade. (You’re either #TeamDecadeIsEnding or #TeamAnnoyinglyYetPerhapsCorrectInSayingThereIsAnotherYearToGo, and I’m the former.)

As far as 2019 goes, things were pretty good. On a personal level, I made some progress on my weight. Lost 40 pounds, but gained back 10 unfortunately, but I’m ready to keep working on that. That is probably the extent of my personal wins for the year, off the top of my head. I didn’t make much progress on the writing front. I had a short story published, but that wasn’t exactly what I was shooting for in 2019. Oh well.

I’m going to try to minimize distractions in 2020 to help with that. I don’t even care if I publish anything in 2020 so much as whether I actually make progress on some writing projects that I desperately want to finish, but have sucked at sticking with. And in minimizing distractions, hopefully I’ll read and blog more than last year, too. (Writing is writing.) I’ve deactivated a few social media accounts, but am keeping Instagram. I took the Facebook app off my phone, so I’ll only browse on there when I get on my desktop. And by doing that, I’ll reduce the mindless scrolling and seeing all the nasty posts that bug me, huge positive.

My other big goal for the year is to implement strategies from The Explosive Child in my parenting. Baby Girl’s meltdowns aren’t as extreme, but they still happen frequently. Little Man’s behavior is worsening. So what we’re doing now — at least with LM — isn’t working too well. Time to try something new, and I’ve read that the strategies in The Explosive Child work fabulously with oppositional kids. It will take some time and a lot of work on my behalf to change how I react to these stressful situations that come up, but if it helps make any improvement, it’ll be totally worth it. (Here’s a link to some of the strategies used with that method if anyone wants to check it out.)

Improvement is the name of the game in 2020.

In other interesting 2019 things, we got Baby Girl figured out.

As most of y’all know, she was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder back in June. That was (and remains to be a relief), knowing what’s behind some of her behaviors. Ditto with the boy. She also had her tonsils out after being diagnosed with sleep apnea, and while we haven’t seen as much improvement in behavior as we were hoping for (or progress with speech), she is mostly sleeping through the night, so yay!

And I think that about sums up 2019. I thought my last brain dump of the year where I reflect on 2019 would be longer, but it’s not. Not a whole lot about the year really stands out. It was full of answers for the kids, millions of doctor and therapy appointments, and some good times as a family. It was probably the busiest year we’ve ever had in terms of being on the go, so maybe things will slow down a little in 2020. I may do a post reflecting on the decade later, which should be more interesting.

What goals do you have for 2020?