What’s In A Name?

Do you like nicknames? When I was growing up, we weren’t much for nicknames. It was just the typical “Honey” or “Sweetie” stuff for everyone, unless my grandma was aggravated with us, and then it was “Heathen.” Sometimes she called the granddaughters “Little Heifers,” but not often.

When I met my husband, I was introduced to a world very different from the one I grew up in, even though we grew up only miles apart. And one of those differences was the nicknames. They are all about some fucking nicknames in that family, and that shit is in BG’s DNA big time.

Baby Girl has a lot of names for me. Starting from the first time she addressed me by name to her most recent nickname:

  1. Mama
  2. Mommy
  3. Mom
  4. Mom-eah
  5. Mommy-o
  6. Momo
  7. Moomoo
  8. Moo
  9. Moomies
  10. MM
  11. M
  12. Msies

Numbers 6 through 12 have come up in the past year. She usually calls me by #2 or #6, but #9 is my favorite.

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Not that Momo

Her dad:

  1. Da-da
  2. Daddy
  3. Dad-eah
  4. Daddy-o
  5. Dodo
  6. Doodoo
  7. Doodies

He is not a fan of the last two. It makes it even better that the child thinks his favorite thing in the world is poop. It isn’t, of course, but since she thinks it is, she constantly draws emoji poops on the stuff she makes for him and wants all of his gifts to be brown and/or have poops on them.

Little Man:

  1. [Little Man’s real name]
  2. Bubba
  3. E-E
  4. E

Looks like the more she likes you, the more names you get. Poor Little Man.

And from the time the girl started talking up until she turned three, she had quite a few names for herself. And her real name came last:

    1. Ona
    2. Baby Ona
    3. Sweet Baby Ona
    4. Sweet Baby Ona Kate Kate
    5. Kate Kate
    6. Sweet Baby Ona Kate Kate Princess
    7. Sweet Baby Ona Kate Kate Princess Sissy
    8. Sweet Baby Ona Kate Kate Princess Sissy Cupcake
    9. [First name]

Calling herself by other names stopped for almost a year, until the summer before she turned 4, when she decided she wanted to be called Miguel. Yes, Miguel. My then blonde-haired, blue-eyed child insisted on being called Miguel for months and would not respond to anything else. Even when we were out in public, we had to call her Miguel, which got some strange looks. Thanks, Coco obsession. (And omg, she wanted to wear a red jacket when it was sweltering outside.) I was relieved when that one came to an end.

✨May the light shine bright upon us all✨ — The fact that our ...
It’s really one of the best Disney movies ever, though. SOB.

She likes to go by “Lion” sometimes now. I discovered this when she brought home a worksheet that had “[First name] Lion [Last name]” on it. She likes to sign into the class Zoom meetings as “Lion,” too. (Except for last week, when she was eating a cherry popsicle when the meeting was starting, and then she wanted to sign in as “[First Name] Red Popsicle.”

Such an interesting child.

LM does not like nicknames. Not even a little bit. To the point that it almost bothers him that we use a shortened version of his name. (Think “Matt” for “Matthew.”) If it weren’t for his name being so short and not having to write as much, LM would probably go by his full name. (And, yeah, that child is so lazy when it comes to writing that three measly letters matters to him.)

Let me tell you what my in-laws wanted to call him.

Like I said, they are all about nicknames. They have a tradition of coming up with terrible nicknames for their grandkids. And I don’t mean nicknames like “Sweetie Pie” or whatever. No, I mean truly awful nicknames. For example, one of the grandkids is called “Junkyard Dog.”

Yeah, you read that correctly.

Junkyard Dog.

“Is that Junkyard Dog coming in the backdoor?!”

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We hadn’t been dating for very long when I was introduced to the nicknames. I was over at their house when my husband’s brother and niece came in, and my FIL loudly announced the presence of Junkyard Dog.

And then there is Alley Cat, which isn’t bad, except for a) the grandkid’s name isn’t Allison or Alley or Al or Albert and b) the kid wasn’t siblings with Junkyard Dog. I don’t know why it would make being called Alley Cat better if it was the sibling of Junkyard Dog, but it just would.

Here are some of the nicknames the other grandkids have:

Booger

Dumpster Diver

Punchbug

My MIL proudly told me about all of the nicknames after noticing my WTF face when Junkyard Dog came in.

“It’s our thing. We like giving our grandkids cute nicknames. We’ll come up with a good one when you two have a baby.”

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Did I mention it was early in the relationship? Early as in we hadn’t even had sex yet. I was 20, and marriage and babies (and godawful nicknames) weren’t even a blip on my radar.

(Well, as many of y’all know, things quickly escalated and I was engaged at 21, married at 22, and became pregnant for the first time shortly before turning 23. I guess MIL wasn’t getting too far ahead after all.)

So, when I was pregnant with LM later on, MIL brought up their ideas for his nickname over lunch one day. I was late in my third trimester and very hormonal, so her suggestions very nearly caused me to go into labor.

Watermelon Seed

Punkin’ Redneck

Taterbug

Mater Tater

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I’m a very particular person, so I wasn’t at all pleased with these nicknames. I was very happy with the name we picked out for LM and just wanted people to call him by that. And then MIL got to the crown jewel of her nickname list, the one she led up to by telling me it was their favorite and what they would probably go with:

Little Rotten Sack of Taters

What the fuck?" - GIF on Imgur

There aren’t enough GIFs in this world to express my WTFness.

After the initial shock wore off, I tried to laugh it off like I knew she was kidding about the nickname.

“Oh, no, FIL came up with that himself! He’s so excited about it!”

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It was THAT real.

Why? Why would someone want to call a baby Little Rotten Sack of Taters?! Why??!

“We can call him ‘Tater’ for short!” she added.

Oof, so much dying inside. I joke about being country, but I am not country-country, and I detest country-country stuff, and that name definitely falls under that umbrella.

I sobbed to my husband over the Little Rotten Sack of Taters giving me heartburn later on that evening. He later asked his mom to come up with a different nickname. They came up with Booter Scooter (“We’ll call him ‘Booter’ for short!”), which I thought was silly, but it was infinitely better than Little Rotten Sack of Taters, so whatever.

A grandkid born after LM got the Rotten Sack nickname, by the way, so it didn’t go to waste.

I was truly dreading the nickname thing when I was pregnant with Baby Girl. Thankfully, they came up with something that was a huge improvement on a decaying tuber vegetable.

Princess

Whew.

Moomies out.

What’s your nickname?

Stop, Amazon Time!

I have been doing way too much online shopping. My poor husband every time he checks the online banking stuff, which is multiple times per day because he’s obsessive about stuff like that:

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Look, my house is reasonably clean these days. Laundry mountain is gone. My kids have learned some shit and are fed regularly. I learned a new hobby as well as my patience allows (sewing). I wrote some stories, and that’s all I’m writing for now (since my best friend keeps asking), since there’s no deadline, which means I’m not functioning. Despite starting off the year strong with reading lots of books, I’m not getting into anything right now, so all that’s left is to window shop online. And that usually turns into “Add to cart.”

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Okay, I exaggerate a little — a lot of my purchases have been for stuff I’d have gone out for (or would’ve bought online anyway). LM needed some clothes and rain boots, BG needed some Crocs and rain boots, and we needed Easter basket stuff. I also got some educational stuff. I bought a few science books for BG, plus I found a lot of 15 Magic School Bus books on eBay. She is loving them. I also discovered these Pete the Kitty books.

How fucking cute is that?! I absolutely adore Pete the Cat and couldn’t resist getting that for myself BG when I saw it. I’d love to get a half-sleeve of tattoos with book characters, including Pete and Max from Where the Wild Things Are.

One thing that has driven my crazy since I bought my iPhone 8 a couple years ago is the lack of a headphone jack. They give you an adapter, but I lost that shit within weeks. And the replacement ones I got from Amazon don’t work right. And bluetooth headphones suck for me because I never remember to charge them. I was browsing Amazon last week and came across some headphones that have a lightning connector that plugs right in to the charger area, so I was thrilled!

Urbeats3

The sound is great! My husband liked them so much that he asked me to buy him a pair in black, except he wanted them to have BOTH the regular plug and the lightning connector. I was like why the hell would they have both? “Because I like having choices.” They don’t make those, not that I could find, so he got the “basic” ones with only the lightning connector. He said the microphone works great for his work calls, too.

I needed some new socks since several pairs of my fun socks have holes in them. Here’s one pair I picked out:

That’s Beast Boy, yo!

Teen Titans Go! has officially made my Top 10 list of funny shows. It has awful ratings (mainly people who were fans of the original — and serious — series not liking the comedic direction it took), but it’s fucking hilarious. The kids love it, my husband and I love it, so it’s nice to have something we all agree on. Beast Boy is awesome, so I couldn’t resist getting these socks.

Animated gif about gif in 👌🏻Teen Titans👌🏻 by Black Cat

Beastboy Party Hard GIF - Beastboy PartyHard TeenTitansGo ...

Yeah, it’s very juvenile (but not in a garbage Spongebob way), but it’s my favorite not-just-for-kids cartoon I’ve watched in years. My husband and I have started talking like Beast Boy to each other and the kids at times, which BG thinks is hilarious and which makes LM die inside.

“What is wrong with you, mama?” – My husband will ask in Beast Boy’s voice. (Also adds “mama” to everything.)

I just add “yo” or “bro” to my sentences.

I’m pretty excited about those socks.

I’ve made a few regrettable Amazon purchases, too. Here is one of them:

Look, I’m all about creativity and shit. Yay kids building blanket and pillow forts. BUT, it just so happens that the best blanket to build a fort with is the quilt I sleep with at night. And it just so happens that MY pillows make the best fort pillows. Guess who isn’t a fan of some dirty little kids taking her pillows and blanket?!

Yep.

So I was window shopping as one does online and came across this blow-up fort. For $50 plus a box fan, I was able to get the kids a fort that sets up in mere seconds and can be taken down and put away in mere seconds. Mere, mere, mere.

They were super excited the first day, but the excitement didn’t last too long. It turns out that kids prefer blankets, chairs, and pillows to something like this. Maybe it’ll go over better outside.

I thought y’all might get a chuckle out of this purchase. Since I couldn’t see my bestie for her birthday, I sent her a couple of things on Amazon. One was a pair of Blue Q socks that I desperately wanted for myself, but couldn’t because of the kids:

Maybe when BG is a little older. I did end up getting a couple pairs of the Blue Q socks for myself, since they’re so comfy and cute, but none of my pairs dropped the f-bomb.

This is the other thing I bought my friend — women insert it in their pants when they have to pee, and then they can pee like a man. No squatting necessary. I bought it was a joke, but it would really come in handy at some venues, such as tailgating at football games and only having port-a-johns to go in.

She definitely got a kick out of those gifts.

The most interesting of my purchases is probably the Mandolin I bought my husband. I saw a message he posted on FB talking to someone else about wanting to learn to play, so I was like “Okay, I’ll get one for him.” He’s not usually the type to buy himself anything. Music is his thing, and that’s how he has spent a lot of his free quarantine time — playing his guitar and writing music. I didn’t used to like his voice very much (I was the only one, as everyone else raved over it), but ever since he started adding a bit of a country twang to it, I’ve gotten really into his singing. (He sounds very much like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born.)

I thought I was being sneaky and bought the mandolin on my credit card, but he saw the statement and asked. He knew I had talked about buying a new keyboard to teach the kids/learn myself and thought that’s what I purchased. I told him I didn’t get a keyboard, but not to nose around my purchases since I pay for things on my card for privacy. (It just so happens that he gets the bills, hehe.)

It’s a cheaper model, but will be good for him to learn on, and I hope he likes it. With any hope, all three of us can play guitars/mandolin together while BG beats on her drums. (I can play the guitar decently, and LM can play a couple of songs.) Add in the keyboard that I hope to get at some point, and maybe the Anxious Family Band will come your way soon!

Have you made any crazy or fun quarantine purchases? 

Also, does anyone have any book  recommendations for me? I don’t care for romance or James Patterson, but am pretty open-minded otherwise. I’d also like some recommendations for new bloggers to follow!

And I promise I’m working on that Blogger Girls Night Zoom thing. I’ll send out something on Sunday to start figuring out days/times.

Worms And More

This week did not go exactly as planned. Shocker!

I planned for the kids to do a whole unit on germs/bacteria/viruses this week. That got derailed on Wednesday when the kids got bit by worm fever. They are all about worms now, and want to spend a bunch of time researching worms, digging them up, finding better ways to lure them out, etc.

The kids: “We’re going to try to lure out the worms by banging some shit on the ground so they sense the vibrations and come up.” (Well, they used different phrasing, but what they said meant the same thing.)

Me: “No, don’t get your stuff muddy. Just make the sounds right above the ground. The worms will hear you and come up.”

The kids:

Look At Each Other Glance GIF - LookAtEachOther Glance ...

They did not, because as I later learned, worms do not have ears. Like, I knew they didn’t have outside ears, but thought they had some sort of internal listening thing going on. Nope. The kids were 100 percent right, and I was wrong.

So, the bacteria cookies didn’t get made today. I guess I can give myself a pat on the back for self-guided learning and flexibility, eh? Maybe we can finish up my germ plans next week. The kids made a “worm habitat” as they called it. They’re trying to be all fancy and not call it a worm farm. The worm habit is set up in the corning of my living room covered by a blanket because worms like dark places.

LM also wanted the blanket because he’s worried that BG will see the worms procreate.

LM: “The worms might, YOU KNOW. You know, right? I don’t want BG to see that.”

Me: “Worms have both sex organs and reproduce with themselves. But even if they did have sex and BG saw it, it’s not a big deal. It’s just worms.”

LM: “I don’t think that’s right.”

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As it turns out, I really don’t know much about worms, and the kids taught me more than I taught them this week.

Even though my plans did get derailed, we did take a look at our bacteria swabs today. Stuff grew. Especially stuff from LM’s hands.

The bacteria all kinda look the same, so I wonder if we screwed that up. (Well, I wonder if I screwed that up.) Even if I did, I think it hit home with LM that he needs to do a better job of washing his hands. He tried to argue with me that he doesn’t really need to wash his hands more because the soap dispenser has germs, too, so it’s a waste. WTF, kid. Did he learn nothing during the rise of the pandemic?!

So, I decided I wanted to be artistic and do one of those paint and pour deals. I’ve always wanted to do one, but didn’t really want to go be around people (plus I don’t care for wine), but the art studio decided to sell kits to paint at home. I got one for the kids and myself. (No pouring for them.) BG lost patience and rushed through hers. LM did well on the first half, but lost patience and decided his painting didn’t need background colors. I lost patience shortly after doing the background. There were so many colors to mix, and I had it.

My husband said he was surprised I lasted that long. I do my little doodles, but it’s different because it’s on a tablet, and I can just hold down my stylus and automatically fill in the colors.

And speaking of my husband, guess who lost his phone again?

Mm-hmm.

This man has had so many burner phones that I’m surprised he hasn’t been investigated for being a drug dealer. (Yeah, I watched The Wire.) He used to get cheap flip phones that cost $25 and when he’d lose them, he’d just buy another and get a new number, since it was easier than calling customer service. And then I got sick of him always wanting to hold my phone to look stuff up and got him a fancy iPhone 6S for Father’s Day. (In 2019.) We got LM the same model, because I didn’t trust getting him a phone that cost more than $99, either.

He went a long time without losing that phone, but then he was digging a hole for a post to fix our porch and couldn’t find it later. (The battery died, too, so Find My Phone wasn’t available.) He looked all over the yard for it, and then it rained the next two days, so I ordered a SIM for his phone number for the backup phone. The day I ordered the SIM, my husband decided to try to dig up the area around the post and found the phone. It was caked in mud, of course, but after cleaning it up, it charged right up and works just fine.

I hope y’all found the story of the buried phone exciting. If not, you’ll love my trip out today. I went through the drive-through of Chick-Fil-A.

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I wanted an hour to myself. Enjoy the quiet or listen to my music. But BG said she wanted to have a Girl’s Day Out and ride to Chick-Fil-A together, so that’s what we did. Our GDO’s aren’t quite what they used to be, but the sandwich, ice cream, and FOUNTAIN COKE IN A STYROFOAM CUP WITH CRUSHED ICE were heavenly. (That’s the only way to drink a Coke, FYI. Canned on ice is great, but nothing beats my ALL CAPS way of drinking a Coke.)

So, that was my week. I’m sure I’ll have all sorts of exciting things to write about on Monday. We’ve got big plans this weekend — putting up a new storage shed, mopping, and cleaning out LM’s dresser drawers. He can still wear his athletic shorts from 3rd grade since they fit fine in the waist, but they are short as hell. Some of them are short like that:

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He doesn’t like getting rid of anything (he has a t-shirt from 2nd grade in his pajama drawer, sigh), but they’re getting ratty. I ordered new shorts from Target during my most recent midnight shopping spree, so I’ve gotta make room.

Exciting weekend ahead!

I hope y’all had a safe and healthy week.

Anxious Mom Writes Words

I am so tired of trying to think up titles for my posts.

Did y’all know Amazon does something called “Returnless Refunds” for some items now? I ordered a pack of primary notebooks for BG and intended to get the ones that have a drawing space, but instead got ones that had full writing pages. My mistake. I initiated a return so I could get the right ones, and apparently, Amazon doesn’t want some items back and will just straight up give your money back and let you keep the item.

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That’s the first I’ve heard of that, but okey-doke. I ordered the correct ones, and hopefully they’ll be here tomorrow. We’re doing both pandemic homeschooling and legit homeschooling this week, so the kids are gonna loooove me.

Really, though, LM started on the packet he got from his middle school on Friday because he’s excited about our plans. We’re going to study germs and have more fun than you ever thought would be possible while learning about that sort of thing. That’s the plan anyway. Both kids are helping me come up with themes for each week and are way more excited about this than I thought they’d be. We want to make petri dish cookies on the last day.

Ours will probably not look like that.

We’re going to do a couple of sheets on the school packet straight away each morning and then move on to our activities. Since a) the kids probably won’t go back to school anyway and b) the district will likely give kids longer than two weeks to complete the packets, we will do a little each day so that it gets done but spend most of our time on our units.

So, the girl had some good days last week! The meltdowns were minimal up until Saturday.

We did a first as a family of four — we went fishing. My friend messaged me and suggested I bring the kids fishing at her pond, and my husband decided it was time for BG to try fishing. He loves to go fishing, so it was a big deal for him. BG was excited about it, too. I tried to prepare her for what to expect (“Sometimes people don’t catch anything…), and I brought a picnic basket with snacks in it (this is the one way to keep the child content).

Wouldn’t you know the girl had the first catch of the day? It was on her first cast and she got a bite in what seemed like less than 30 seconds. It was wild. She was so happy. She took a break then from all of the fishing and chilled out on her little camper chair and had a snack. I got to use her little Paw Patrol pole to fish (and I caught a few, too). She begged me to try to catch a huge turtle that was swimming around the pond on my hook and didn’t quite understand why that wouldn’t work too well. 😀 ❤

We drove separately so I could bring back BG if she was having a rough time, and we ended up staying an hour before we were both ready to head back. My husband was ready to leave, too, but LM wanted to stay, so they fished for another hour and had some nice daddy-son time. BG told me on the way home that she loved fishing. That was probably the most fun we’ve had some the quarantine started.

I might not be an outdoorsy sort of person, but I think I can get behind more of this. (As long as it’s in the evening and not too hot!)

And yall, I totally took a fish off a hook. My husband had his hands full with BG’s fish at one point and LM needed help, so I stepped up.

My husband’s face:

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My husband said he was shocked I would even touch a fish, let alone hold one long enough to remove the hook. I didn’t know how long fish can last out of water, though, so I did what I had to.

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Hehe. Those arms, though.

So, BG had a few good days, but Saturday and Sunday were rough ones for her meltdown-wise, and guess what…the fever is back. (I think the fever was there for the majority of her really bad meltdown days as well.) It was away for a week but was 101.8 yesterday at one point. I checked her temperature throughout the day, and it’s normal at times, but warm at others. She had bursts of energy here and there the past two days, but mostly complained of being tired. She also mentioned having a headache and then feeling nauseous and threw up once, but her stomach didn’t bother her again after I gave her the reflux medicine.

I’m going to talk to her doctor again tomorrow if the fever is still there. Or maybe I should talk to her regardless if this is going to be a “comes and goes” deal. I hate the idea of putting her through getting her blood drawn if it’s just a viral thing that’s kinda hanging around. She had to be held down by me, the doctor, and the nurse (the nurse half held down, half gave the shot) when she had her last round of vaccines, so this would go much worse.

On another note, let me tell y’all what my son did. No, let me tell you what my husband’s son did. (That’s how we do things when people fuck up, right? They become someone else’s son/husband/whatever.) I was checking my email yesterday morning and had three emails about Playstation purchases. THREE. That child made two purchases for $25 each and one for $10 to buy Fortnite skins. In case you can’t math, SIXTY DOLLARS. And in case you can math, SIXTY DOLLARS.

I was like WTF?? I asked about it and LM said, “Well, last night you said I could get a Fortnite skin for doing so much work outside.”

Oh, no.

What happened was I told him he could get some V-Bucks (Fortnite dollars) to get a skin like he did the last time worked hard outside with his dad. He got $10 for V-Bucks last time. I asked him in what world did saying he could get some V-Bucks mean spend $60. “Well, I said I wanted the Deadpool skins. I thought I could get those and give you some of my birthday money for the weapons pack.”

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And those skins don’t even DO anything. They give you another character to play as, but it doesn’t impact the game at all.

My debit card is no longer linked to the Playstation account, and LM has a bit more work to do in the coming weeks. Sigh.

I think I mentioned trying to learn how to sew on one of these posts, but if I didn’t, I know a few of y’all know from Instagram. I’ve been doing better at it! I’m hoping to get some fabric and make blankets for the kids. The ones I make will be more expensive than just buying one, but I hope it’s something they’ll want to hold on to as they get older.

I have made and given out 30 masks for the COVID stuff. My first few masks look straight up awful, but I finally found a pattern that was almost foolproof and didn’t have as many issues. I went from this:

Looks like someone butchered a poor bra.

To this:

WoWo’s in distress because her movie was rescheduled!

Craaaazy eyes!


So, last week I mentioned doing a Zoom happy hour type thing and a few of y’all expressed interest. Yay! I hope to set that up for sometime this week. I’ll email y’all and figure out dates/times. If anyone else is interested, you can message me at thatanxiousmom@gmail.com.

Whoever participates, DON’T BE LIKE JENNIFER.

I laughed so hard at this video. Those people’s reactions were priceless.

“I saw nothing.”

Have a good week, y’all 🙂

Today Was Better

My sleep has been shitty lately (or shittier lately), so right now I’m waiting on an Ambien to kick in. If things get weird, then you’ll know why.

The girl had two screaming fits today. (Technically yesterday since I’m writing at almost 2 in the morning, but I haven’t gone to sleep yet, so it’s still today for me, dawg.)

That’s right — two.

And only one of them lasted for more than a couple of minutes. And neither of them involved biting herself or the couch. (Yeah, I forgot to mention that one, sigh.) And she didn’t tell me she hated me at all. The main fit was when she couldn’t find her Llama Llama stuffie to sleep with, and y’all know how little kids get when they can’t find their stuffie. That stuffie isn’t anything special, but she had it in her head that she wanted to sleep with it tonight, and it was nowhere to be found. Yikes. After some drama, she ended up settling for Spider-Man.

I have no idea why today was so different from all of the other days. I didn’t change up anything up, so there’s nothing I can really point to and say, “Hey, we did this differently and things were better, so let’s do it again and maybe we’ll have more good days!” And it wasn’t a free-for-all day where she got her way all day, either. She ate the same things food-wise (grits, PB&Js, fish sticks).

I almost had happy tears after getting BG to bed. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for her having such a good day.

And I’m happy on a personal level as well. I didn’t feel depressed, anxious, or on edge at all today.

the office gif * s2 Jim Halpert Sophie pam beesly dailyscranton •

I feel so much lighter.

The kids are technically on Spring Break this week. I have sorted out the packets, so we have busy work if we need it, but I doubt that will happen. (Unless LM keeps mouthing off…in which case, I’m gonna get on his Fortnite account and play while he does packets. 😉 )

I really don’t have anything planned for the week. Our outside-the-house options are hanging out in our yard; taking a walk around the neighborhood; using my friend’s pond or my dad’s pond to go fishing. BG will probably go along with fishing for about 5 minutes before wanting to leave. My friend also has a bike trail we can use, but LM is the only one with a bike. (BG has a trike that she still struggles to pedal, so it’s not going on a trail.) The school near us has a nice big paved parking lot, so we might take the kids up there to ride their scooters if no one else is around.

It’s nice to have a few options. It isn’t Carowinds or the Great Wolf Lodge as the kids had hoped for Spring Break, but we have more options than others. My husband also ordered some stuff to fix our above ground pool, so maybe it will be open by the end of the month. We didn’t get to use it last year because of problems, so hopefully he can get it ready for this year. If not, then I hope he tears it down, because it takes up a lot of space in the backyard.

I am going to get my husband to look into some telehealth services. Since BG’s place isn’t doing them, maybe we can find someone who does. I think someone else talking to her about stuff would go over much better than with us.

I think we should get a golf cart.

I also think some of us blog ladies should have a Virtual Girls Night Out. We can use Zoom while we eat and drink (preferably rum drinks or margaritas)  and pretend like we’re out having fun. And if anyone hears screaming in the background, then we can just pretend that we’re having our Girls Night Out in a war zone.

Quarantine Week 5

Is it day 892 in quarantine? Because it sure feels like it.

I got out of the house last week. I had to drop off the kids’ completed homeschool packets and pick up new ones. At the first school, they had a drive-through type thing where you didn’t have to get out and be around anyone. The people who gave the new packets had on masks and gloves. At the second school, you had to get out, ring the doorbell, open the door, go in and hang out in the tiny lobby with four other people working, and no social distancing whatsoever was being practiced. No masks or gloves, either. Gah.

The Office GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Replace “Utica” with “the school” if I caught something from them.

I have finally accomplished something in the quarantine. I wrote three short stories over the past week. Hence my not being on WordPress much. Thirty pages written and edited multiple times. I’m very happy about that. The deadline to submit the stories to be considered for the anthology was today, and I submitted them at 1:30 in the morning. I hope one gets accepted. *Fingers crossed* One of the stories was a continuation of another story that I published, one was about a single mom finding out her kid as autism (I love the “capture the emotion of the moment” type stories, so that’s what I usually write), and one was a horror type store, which is new for me. I am close to having enough completed short stories to self-publish a book of stories of my own. #Goals

Any little bit of emotional regulation BG has improved on is long gone. I really don’t know what to do with her now, but we’re talking several severe meltdowns per day over just anything. (They make her old meltdowns pale in comparison.) It feels like she spends an hour per day shrieking. And to make it worse, she’s biting herself a lot and has several big bite mark bruises on her arms. I really wish her therapy place would have done the telehealth visits so her therapist could help work with her on this some. We have several strategies to help BG with regulation, but they aren’t helping at all. I am at a loss. This quarantine stuff is rough on everyone, but is really taking a toll on her.

Easter was good, shrieking aside. We got the kids stuff to keep them busy for their baskets — LEGOs and board games. We did an Easter egg hunt and then goofed out for the rest of the day, which isn’t all that different from most days. I had planned to make a chicken casserole for Easter lunch, but we had some electrical issues. My husband was trying to spray a wasp outside and sprayed one of the fixture and then we lost power for a while. Everything is good now, though. My dad came over to drop off a go-kart for LM today and helped fix things. It was weird to have someone else in the house for a bit.

What is social distancing? Hint: You can go outside. - UCHealth Today

I’m glad everything is working now.

If y’all are looking for a new show to watch in quarantine, check out Superstore. One of the producers from The Office created it. Much of the first season is rocky (much like The Office and Parks and Rec), but by the end of that season, it has me for real laughing out loud. It’s on Hulu.

How are y’all doing? I tried to catch up on some blog reading earlier — if I missed yours, drop a link in the comments.

Birthday Boy

It’s the boy’s 12th birthday. How is he that old? How are we just a year from him being a teenager? Where the hell did the time go? I swear, it was just yesterday that he was letting me dress him in a cute little black and white striped polo shirt, blue jeans, and black and white Converses for his first day at preschool.

(Now he does not let me dress him at all, at least not without a fight, and certainly won’t agree to polos or jeans on his own. Who the hell hates blue jeans?!)

The cake is in the oven. It’s a lemon cake, and it isn’t even from scratch, not that I’ll tell the boy that because he says he doesn’t like box cakes. (He also is blissfully unaware that my much loved strawberry cake is from a box, albeit not made with the box recipe, plus it has fresh strawberries.)

He had a birthday party with some friends on Saturday. We did an escape room for the first time, which was super fun. And it’ll probably be even more fun when my husband and I do one on our own as a date night, because those kids were unorganized and didn’t even get the first clue until the end, when the kid running it told them they missed it. But they finished with time to spare anyway, of course! Those are four super smart kiddos, though, so I’m not at all surprised.

One of the kids he invited is the girl I suspect he likes. Watching them together on Saturday made me think this even more, and I’m pretty sure it’s a mutual thing. It’s funny–this child is so unaware of personal space. If he’s sitting next to you at the table, then he’ll more than likely be half in your lap, because it’s like some kind of magnetism takes over that makes him be uncomfortably close to you. This was the case with his female friend, and she did not tell him to move. In fact, she was leaning into him and grinning, so that’s how I know.

It all went well, although I was kind of worried we’d get kicked out of the restaurant for those kids getting so loud. Lots of laughter, lots of obnoxiousness that you’d expect in a few sixth graders, etc. They had so much fun, though, although a nasty headache was settling in on the way home from the loudness.

Sunday was the family party. And I was kind of worried we’d get kicked out of that restaurant for BG and her cousin getting so loud.

There was one glorious moment when LM was opening his presents. He got a card from one of his grandparents, and it had money and a little tube inside.

“I know how you go through Chapstick,” she told him, “so I stuck a tube in there for you.”

I couldn’t see it clearly, but knew it did not look like Chapstick. After he was finished, my brother picked it up to look at it, since he didn’t think it looked like Chapstick, either. It wasn’t.

Image result for cold sore medicine

(Not the actual tube, but close enough.)

We both realized at the same time and about died laughing. My MIL wanted to know what was so funny, and I told her between gasps that she hadn’t bought her 12-year-old grandson Chapstick, but cold sore medicine. And boy was she embarrassed.

“I meant to get Chapstick! I know he isn’t doing anything to get cold sores!” LM doesn’t have the first clue about cold sores, but he knew she was embarrassed, which was enough for him to tease her and refuse to give it back.

Fun times.

Tonight it’ll just be the four of us. LM requested filet mignon for supper, so my husband is handling that. Mr. Fancy Pants. He already knows what we’re getting for his birthday since his list was so limited. I had exhausted my non-list ideas for Christmas and couldn’t come up with anything else. He asked for a new BB pistol, an Apple watch, and a cat. We can’t get a cat right now, which I told him, but I did get the other two items. (Albeit not an Apple brand watch because that went over our limit.)

I did not want to get him a BB pistol, but my husband was for it, so he’ll have one. (He has the typical BB rifle most boys get, and I confiscated that after he accidentally shot his sister in the face a couple years ago. My husband was supposed to be supervising, but didn’t supervise very well because he was letting him shoot at targets IN THE DIRECTION of where he was playing with BG. Wtf?) Hopefully no eyes are almost put out with this one, sigh.

Time to move on, so happy birthday LM!

Pounced Right Into The ER

We’ve had two ER visits since early December. One for LM and his gruesome finger injury and one for BG. And the reason for her visit scared me more than anything else ever has.

On Monday, the girl and I were on the bed playing lions. She was the lion and I was the gazelle, which she planned to eat for supper. When she scooted back a bit on the bed to pounce, she went too far and fell backwards off the bed. It seemed like it happened in slow motion. One second she had that big happy face she was trying to contort into a serious face to start her roar, and the next she was wide-eyed and going backwards.

She hit her head on the exercise bike next to the bed. I ran around to grab her, and she was screaming as blood came down from the back of her head. My husband ran in to see what was going on and grabbed some paper towels to stop the bleeding, but they were quickly soaked through. I grabbed a white towel and the part I pressed against her head quickly turned red, too.

“Drive to the ER or call 911?” I asked my husband. He said the hospital since by the time it took an ambulance to reach us, we could be almost at the ER anyway. I drove and he sat in the back with the girl. At that point, I was pretty fucking concerned, but not freaking out. And then my husband started yelling at BG to wake up. I looked around to see that she was barely keeping her eyes open. It took all three of us shouting to keep her awake. After we’d get her alert, she’d nearly doze off again.

“I can’t do this anymore!” she sobbed after getting her to wake up/alert several times.

Y’all, I was more scared than I’ve ever been then. Blood loss and a head injury and having to fight to keep her awake? I really thought I was about to lose her. And then LM started screaming that she was dying, which certainly didn’t help matters. I was praying up a storm.

Around that time, LM grabbed the phone and called 911. My husband took it and they told us not to stop and to continue driving to the hospital. Making it to the hospital without wrecking or running over someone is probably a miracle in itself.

When we went inside the ER, a nurse came out and checked out BG’s head. The bleeding had slowed down, so she put some gauze and a bandage on it and tossed the bloody towel we came in with. The girl was sobbing but wasn’t dozing off anymore and was alert, thankfully. The nurse said they were slammed because of the flu, but that BG would be seen quicker because of her age. I don’t want to know what not being seen quickly would have meant, as we waited almost four hours.

When they finally called BG back, we waited a while and then a doctor (well, a PA) came in. He spent a few minutes in with her and said she could go home after the nurse cleaned the wound. He said it looked worse than it was because head injuries bleed so much. The wound wasn’t as big as we thought it would’ve been, and the PA said he could put a staple in it to close it or wait and see if the pediatrician next day and see if she thought it needed one. We opted for waiting since BG was already freaking out from the guy examining her, and he had zero patience with her.

She wrote this note for me while we waited. Its meant to say, “Dear Mommy, I am okay. ❤ N–“

I was concerned about the possibility of concussion since BG was dozing off in the car, so I asked about that. The PA said no since she was talking and that sometimes kids get sleepy in cars. What happened with BG wasn’t the same as a kid napping, so I guess the loss of blood just had her feeling woozy. It seemed like so much at the time, but I guess it wasn’t, relatively speaking.

We saw a pediatrician the following day, and she thought her wound looked looked like it would heal fine, so no staple needed. Whew. (She was shocked that the guy at the ER let her leave without one if he thought it was possible she needed one, though.) She evaluated the girl for a concussion, too, and said she thought she was fine but to watch out for behavioral changes.

The wound seems to be healing up very nicely! BG has done a good job at not picking at the scab and letting us keep it clean, so I don’t think we’ll have to worry about infection.

It’s something how an injury that seemed life-threatening at one point ended up being totally fine. (Knock on wood!) My husband commented that he guessed she didn’t even need to go to the ER after all, but I think it was the right call, blood or no blood.

You’d think that the whole thing would make BG slow down a little, but nope. I went in my bedroom this afternoon and found her sitting on top of a stack of pillows on my bed.

“I’m on Pride Rock!” she said and roared and then fell off the stack. At least Pride Rock wasn’t at the edge of the bed.

On another note, it’s time to work on my next book — “Five Little Lion Cubs Catching A Gazelle On the Bed.” 😉