nerd life

K is for Kryptonite (But Don’t Smoke It)

I’m not sure where my notebook is with the things I’ve written down to blog on for the A to Z Challenge. I’ll find it, but not right now, because the couch is comfy and I don’t want to move. I asked my husband for a suggestion for the K topic, hoping I wouldn’t have to move. He delivered: kryptonite. (This post probably won’t be how he imagined it going, though.)

Kryptonite: the green stuff that makes Superman not so super.

Lex Luthor loves the shit.

Batman has been known to carry it.

(Is there really any question about how shady Batman is now? Between his tendency to dress in black and lurk about like a creeper, he also has also been known to carry a bit of kryptonite around, just in case. Told y’all he was suspect!)

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Yes, I am a hater.

So, Superman gets all weak in the knees over kryptonite, certain bad guys and so-called heroes have been known to get their grubby paws on it.

Yawn. Let’s go to google, shall we?

When one can use an Office gif, one does.

When one can use an Office gif, one does.

Ooh! In the first few search results, we have the Urban Dictionary’s take on kryptonite, the Kryptonite Handbook, and the song Kryptonite from 3 Doors Down.

First things, first. Urban Dictionary–the leading authority on the meaning of words as they’re commonly used.

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If anyone ever offers me the opportunity to purchase kryptonite, I would definitely Just Say No. (This way I can’t be duped into thinking I’m going to jail again!)

Next up–Kryptonite Handbook. This one was slightly disappointing. I was expecting that it would, perhaps, be a play on The Anarchist Cookbook. I have no idea why I thought that, besides the fact that there may be something wrong with me. Oh well.

The non-political version–

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The political version (perhaps this will read President Clinton’s Kryptonite Handbook in another year and a half or so?)–

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And, finally, the song Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down. This was released when I was a sophomore in high school, so it has some age on it.

And since my brain went from the song Kryptonite to “Hey, wasn’t there also a Superman song out when I was in high school?” I found this:

By the way, if you were wondering what my personal kryptonite is, it’s chocolate. Yummy, delicious milk chocolate. So if you get pissed off at me for some reason, feel free to send it my way.

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G is for Gaming (NES FTW!)

As is true for almost any kid raised in the 1980s, I had a Nintendo (also known as the NES). And, after having a Sega Gensis, Nintendo 64, PS2, PS3, Xbox 360, Xbox One* and now a PS4, I still maintain that the NES was the best gaming system EVER.

Want to know one difference between my Nintendo and all of the other systems I’ve purchased (excluding the Xbox One and PS4, since those are recent purchases)?

It still works.

It looks like this now:

Yep, that’s Super Mario Bros. in there. And yep, those are my PJs.

And here’s the rest of the system, which has been hanging out in a Walmart bag since I still have a little work to do to finish fixing it up.

It might look rough, but the damn thing works, even if it’s only for 15 minutes before the screen starts flickering. There is one part that I still need to work on, but me and procrastination are besties and I’m not accustomed to more than 15 minutes of pleasure at once anyway, so it’ll do. Regardless, the system is 25 years old (probably older than some of you reading this) and I can play on it.

So suck it, recent game systems. You things are good for 2-4 years if I’m lucky (and no, we don’t play dodgeball with our game systems). You guys overheat, won’t turn on, get red rings of death, won’t always accept my cheat codes, and really over complicate the hell out of the whole experience. You’re high maintenance.

The NES is low maintenance. Throughout the years that I had this system and shared it with my siblings, this thing has been beaten, blown in, had one of the controller cords chewed in half (my sister apparently thought she was a dog when she was 6), have had stuff thrown at it, and it’s still alive and kicking today.

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Here are the games I have now:

Rocketeer, Mike Tyson Punch Out, Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Tetris, Jackle, Baseball, Double Dribble, Paperboy, Super Mario 3, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Sadly, I’m missing Zelda, the greatest NES game of all time. But I do have some other cool titles, at least!

How many of you played the NES as kids, teens, adults, whatever? What were your favorite games? Feel free to go all old school and talk about the Atari or Odyssey. 

*No, I’m not an adult brat who gets all the new game systems. I got the Xbox One at Christmas, absolutely hated it, sold it, and replaced it with the PS4, which is AMAZING. If you have a PS4 and want to play online, shoot me a message.

F is for Friendship 

(Holy crap, an F post that isn’t related to my potty mouth in front of the kids? Well, the day is far from being over.)

So, the next in the Nerd Life theme for the A to Z Challenge is F for Friendship. You thought I was going to say F for Fellowship or F for Frodo, didn’t you? (Well, had things gone as planned yesterday and my husband dug out my box of LOTR toys, I would have shown you the many faces of Frodo. But that didn’t happen. Maybe another day.)

It’s not always easy to find someone who gets you–who gets that dorkiness, the dark side, the child like enthusiasm for things that leaves the rest of society scratching their heads. But when you find that person who gets you and accepts you just the way you are, nerdiness and flaws and all, it’s pretty great. Or so I hear. 😉

Here are some famous nerdy friend type couples.

May you find the Samwise to your Frodo, the one who’s never gonna give you up…

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…the Chewie to your Han Solo, who’s never gonna let you down…

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…the Sauron to your One Ring, who’s never gonna run around and desert you (because he can’t!)…

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…the kryptonite to your Lex Luthor, who’s never gonna make you cry…

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…the Willow to your Buffy, who’s never gonna say goodbye (even if Buffy dies and Willow goes evil)…

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…and the Voldemort No Name Dude You Know Who (Andi got me straightened out :D) to your Dumbledore, who’s never gonna tell a lie and hurt you…

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(Hey, I tried Harry Potter fans.)

E is for E…That’s Me!

When I finally finished putting my list for the A to Z Challenge together, I had “Ewoks vs. Gungans” for my E day. I quickly realized that no, I don’t really want to write about two crappy Star Wars species…

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(Yes, I’ve recently discovered the fun that is BitStrips. Four years after everyone else. So sue me.)

My first name starts with an E. I’m a bit nerdy. So writing a little about myself for the E day isn’t the worst idea in the world. To quote my husband “what do you mean ‘what should I write about myself?’ your entire existence is nerdy. Start from there.”

Here are some nerdy tidbits about myself:

  • I have three different tattoos that were inspired by The Lord of the Rings. I spent countless hours researching Tengwar and the different variations possible for the tattoos. I have plans for more, plus a Star Wars tat. If you can interpret the tattoo below, then message me–we’ll be best friends for life.  If you can interpret the tattoo and somehow I’ve effed up on the interpretation, then don’t tell me–this shit is permanent.
  • I happen to think Shakespeare is da bomb. I memorized an entire play for fun once when I was in the tenth grade. (Nope, not exaggerating). It took a long time. I’m pretty sure spending Saturday nights doing this didn’t help me win any popularity contests, but my grandmother enjoyed it.
  • I still have my NES game system from when I was a kid. It works for 10-15 minutes here and there so I can get my Super Mario Bros. fix in.
  • Both of my kids have names that were inspired by LOTR, sort of. My husband wouldn’t go for Strider or Arwen for either of the names, but we compromised by using names from the actors. So not as cool, but it’ll probably guarantee less teasing as they get older.

That’s it for today. There are some other things I’d like to include, but I have plans for those for other posts later in the month.

D is for Dating, Lord of the Rings Style

Continuing my theme of “Nerd Life,” I’m going to share a nerdy dating story. Grab the tissues and the vomit pail while you can, because you’re in for one heck of a ride.

I’ve mentioned on this blog before that I met my husband online. I may or may not have mentioned my Lord of the Rings obsession 132 times.

For anyone who isn’t familiar with our Nora Ephron-inspired love story, he was 25 and I was 19 when we met in a politics chatroom on Yahoo, where we shared a mutual love for berating President Bush. (Before you get pissy about that, just know that I’m willing to berate anyone. Even you. <Insert Smeagol’s smoker’s laugh.>)

Here’s the short version, since it’s Saturday, you have other A to Z posts to read, last-minute Easter candy to purchase and perhaps overnight to me, etc.:

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And the not-so-short version:

Amazingly, this guy lived in the same town as me, just a few miles away. Not so amazingly, it took forever to get to the love part of the story.

Want to know how I knew he could be The One (That I Date For More Than A Month)? We both loved The Lord of the Rings. I didn’t know anyone else who was that into it and lo and behold, here is someone else who has their own collection of action figures, just like me, and doesn’t seem to be a creep. Score!

When Return of the King came out at the movies, he hinted about us going to see it together.

“So, you said you wanted to see ROTK? I want to see it, too,” he said.

In my typical clueless fashion, I said, “Cool, let me know what you think if you see it before I do.” I liked him, but I was convinced that there was no way he liked me. He later told me that this was one of the many hints he dropped that I didn’t pick up on to see if I was interested in more than just chatting online.

Finally, he asked me out using direct words (Do you want to go out?) and I accepted. We saw The Passion of the Christ. (FYI: that’s not a movie you want to go see on a first date.)

As we started seeing each other more, which I refer to as dating even though it was really non-romantic for a few months, we would often go to different stores to search for new toys for our LOTR collections.

Finally, after a couple of ducked kiss attempts, we did start getting romantic (bow chicka wow wow), and were in love quicker than Gandalf could say “Fly, you fools.” We would refer to each other as my precious and my love. Yes, I understand if you need to take a second to fight back the bile that’s trying to escape.

And then, a few months after we started for-real dating, Sam gave me a 10-inch Gandalf the Grey figure for Christmas. That’s not romantic, you say? Well, he had opened mine, thus ruining the potential for it to have value in 50 years I suppose, and put a diamond promise ring on the staff with a small note that said he wanted us to get married.

Boom, that’s how you officially win a girl’s heart. Mine, anyway.

Admit it, this is you right now:

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Feel free to comment with your own dating stories, nerdy or not, romantic or not.