Stop, Amazon Time!

I have been doing way too much online shopping. My poor husband every time he checks the online banking stuff, which is multiple times per day because he’s obsessive about stuff like that:

Ben Wyatt What GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Look, my house is reasonably clean these days. Laundry mountain is gone. My kids have learned some shit and are fed regularly. I learned a new hobby as well as my patience allows (sewing). I wrote some stories, and that’s all I’m writing for now (since my best friend keeps asking), since there’s no deadline, which means I’m not functioning. Despite starting off the year strong with reading lots of books, I’m not getting into anything right now, so all that’s left is to window shop online. And that usually turns into “Add to cart.”

 

Okay, I exaggerate a little — a lot of my purchases have been for stuff I’d have gone out for (or would’ve bought online anyway). LM needed some clothes and rain boots, BG needed some Crocs and rain boots, and we needed Easter basket stuff. I also got some educational stuff. I bought a few science books for BG, plus I found a lot of 15 Magic School Bus books on eBay. She is loving them. I also discovered these Pete the Kitty books.

How fucking cute is that?! I absolutely adore Pete the Cat and couldn’t resist getting that for myself BG when I saw it. I’d love to get a half-sleeve of tattoos with book characters, including Pete and Max from Where the Wild Things Are.

One thing that has driven my crazy since I bought my iPhone 8 a couple years ago is the lack of a headphone jack. They give you an adapter, but I lost that shit within weeks. And the replacement ones I got from Amazon don’t work right. And bluetooth headphones suck for me because I never remember to charge them. I was browsing Amazon last week and came across some headphones that have a lightning connector that plugs right in to the charger area, so I was thrilled!

Urbeats3

The sound is great! My husband liked them so much that he asked me to buy him a pair in black, except he wanted them to have BOTH the regular plug and the lightning connector. I was like why the hell would they have both? “Because I like having choices.” They don’t make those, not that I could find, so he got the “basic” ones with only the lightning connector. He said the microphone works great for his work calls, too.

I needed some new socks since several pairs of my fun socks have holes in them. Here’s one pair I picked out:

That’s Beast Boy, yo!

Teen Titans Go! has officially made my Top 10 list of funny shows. It has awful ratings (mainly people who were fans of the original — and serious — series not liking the comedic direction it took), but it’s fucking hilarious. The kids love it, my husband and I love it, so it’s nice to have something we all agree on. Beast Boy is awesome, so I couldn’t resist getting these socks.

Animated gif about gif in 👌🏻Teen Titans👌🏻 by Black Cat

Beastboy Party Hard GIF - Beastboy PartyHard TeenTitansGo ...

Yeah, it’s very juvenile (but not in a garbage Spongebob way), but it’s my favorite not-just-for-kids cartoon I’ve watched in years. My husband and I have started talking like Beast Boy to each other and the kids at times, which BG thinks is hilarious and which makes LM die inside.

“What is wrong with you, mama?” – My husband will ask in Beast Boy’s voice. (Also adds “mama” to everything.)

I just add “yo” or “bro” to my sentences.

I’m pretty excited about those socks.

I’ve made a few regrettable Amazon purchases, too. Here is one of them:

Look, I’m all about creativity and shit. Yay kids building blanket and pillow forts. BUT, it just so happens that the best blanket to build a fort with is the quilt I sleep with at night. And it just so happens that MY pillows make the best fort pillows. Guess who isn’t a fan of some dirty little kids taking her pillows and blanket?!

Yep.

So I was window shopping as one does online and came across this blow-up fort. For $50 plus a box fan, I was able to get the kids a fort that sets up in mere seconds and can be taken down and put away in mere seconds. Mere, mere, mere.

They were super excited the first day, but the excitement didn’t last too long. It turns out that kids prefer blankets, chairs, and pillows to something like this. Maybe it’ll go over better outside.

I thought y’all might get a chuckle out of this purchase. Since I couldn’t see my bestie for her birthday, I sent her a couple of things on Amazon. One was a pair of Blue Q socks that I desperately wanted for myself, but couldn’t because of the kids:

Maybe when BG is a little older. I did end up getting a couple pairs of the Blue Q socks for myself, since they’re so comfy and cute, but none of my pairs dropped the f-bomb.

This is the other thing I bought my friend — women insert it in their pants when they have to pee, and then they can pee like a man. No squatting necessary. I bought it was a joke, but it would really come in handy at some venues, such as tailgating at football games and only having port-a-johns to go in.

She definitely got a kick out of those gifts.

The most interesting of my purchases is probably the Mandolin I bought my husband. I saw a message he posted on FB talking to someone else about wanting to learn to play, so I was like “Okay, I’ll get one for him.” He’s not usually the type to buy himself anything. Music is his thing, and that’s how he has spent a lot of his free quarantine time — playing his guitar and writing music. I didn’t used to like his voice very much (I was the only one, as everyone else raved over it), but ever since he started adding a bit of a country twang to it, I’ve gotten really into his singing. (He sounds very much like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born.)

I thought I was being sneaky and bought the mandolin on my credit card, but he saw the statement and asked. He knew I had talked about buying a new keyboard to teach the kids/learn myself and thought that’s what I purchased. I told him I didn’t get a keyboard, but not to nose around my purchases since I pay for things on my card for privacy. (It just so happens that he gets the bills, hehe.)

It’s a cheaper model, but will be good for him to learn on, and I hope he likes it. With any hope, all three of us can play guitars/mandolin together while BG beats on her drums. (I can play the guitar decently, and LM can play a couple of songs.) Add in the keyboard that I hope to get at some point, and maybe the Anxious Family Band will come your way soon!

Have you made any crazy or fun quarantine purchases? 

Also, does anyone have any book  recommendations for me? I don’t care for romance or James Patterson, but am pretty open-minded otherwise. I’d also like some recommendations for new bloggers to follow!

And I promise I’m working on that Blogger Girls Night Zoom thing. I’ll send out something on Sunday to start figuring out days/times.

90s Children, What’s Up?!

Little Man discovered a new-to-us show on Hulu called Fresh Off the Boat. It’s about a Chinese family that relocates from DC to Orlando, FL and has to adjust to suburban type living. It’s also set in 1995, so I have been loving seeing some reminders of my childhood. I was 11 years old in 1995, just like Little Man is now, so that somehow adds to the neatness factor a little.

The boy loves the show. In fact, the little Benedict Arnold bastard has been watching the show behind my back, leaving me to catch up on my own. That might sound harsh, but he did the same thing to his dad, who wanted to watch Green Arrow and Flash with him. We’re both on the verge of disowning him.

The main character Eddie is quite the slacker and loves the rap/hip-hop stuff that was all the rage in the 90s. Think Biggie, Tupac, etc. I never listened to them because I’m vanilla as fuck and have zero interest. The CD I had on repeat then was the soundtrack for The Baby-Sitters Club Movie. It was replaced a couple years later when Hanson released their Middle of Nowhere album with MMMBop on it. Did I say “vanilla” already?

The funny little brother.

The boy has been listening to a lot of music on his phone lately. He has entered the earbuds stage of adolescence — you know, the one where they listen to music nonstop and don’t want to speak to you as much. It’s a double-edged sword because you like talking to them, but they also tend to be smartasses, so it’s nice to skip out on that. I’ll admit, I haven’t really paid attention to what he listens to, because he builds his playlists out of the stuff we have on iTunes. The most kid non-friendly thing we have on iTunes that I can think of is a Weezer song called Can’t Stop Partying that talks about partying and drugs.

I can’t stop partying, partying
I can’t stop partying, partying
I gotta have Patrón, I gotta have the beat
I gotta have a lot of pretty girls around me

It has some explicit stuff when Lil Wayne comes out and raps. It was the song that made me realize I should pay more attention to the music I play. That happened when the then 4-year-old LM started very clearly singing about mixing alcohol with pharmaceuticals in line at Chick-Fil-A. It’s not a good defense, but since I struggle making out the lyrics to a lot of songs (unless I read them a bunch of times), I didn’t take notice of the lyrics. I started trying to play closer attention after that. (But still failed at least once when Baby Girl sang No Scrubs.) But, like I said, as far as LM is concerned, I don’t pay much attention these days because there isn’t much of anything in our library that LM shouldn’t listen to.

You see, what I didn’t know was LM’s dad put Amazon Music on his phone. And there’s a shit ton of stuff to listen to on that.

What I also didn’t know was just how much LM has taken a liking to the kid Eddie from the show, namely his love for hip hop. So he started listening to all sorts of hip hop and rap, including Tupac, Biggie, and Eminem. (For the record, I did actually like Eminem in my later teen years.) I discovered this when my best friend who has my Amazon info asked me about why I was listening to so much rap all of a sudden. I wasn’t, of course, so I asked my husband, and he told us about LM’s new musical interests.

Oh boy.

I realize now that I wrote three paragraphs on LM’s new music, and that’s really not where I was going with this, so back to the 90s stuff.

Fresh Off the Boat has been fun to watch. When I was watching with LM, it was cool to point out some of the stuff that he’d otherwise have no clue about, like the damn Internet modems that hog your phone line. Who remembers this sound?

I had a love-hate relationship with that sound. I absolutely loved the sound of connecting to the Internet and doing all of the things that made me feel so mature, even if I did accidentally make myself a target for being kidnapped in Yahoo chat rooms by divulging my age and too much personal info. (Every 90s kid with Internet access did that, though.) But those of you who had dial-up modems know how long that shit could take, and eventually the love of hearing the dial-up noise went away as the rage took over.

How dare you take 5 minutes and 42 seconds to connect me?! 

And damn it all to hell when someone would pick up the phone or you’d randomly get disconnected.

Oh and the times when I left it connected all night while I downloaded music from Napster and then Limewire and then Kazaa. (Granted, we’re in 2000 by that point, but it’s still childhood/young adulthood stuff.) Anything short of picking up the phone to call 911 for a heart attack and disrupting my downloads was deserving of a beat down. I tried to download movies as well, but they mostly ended up being porn videos, so I stopped that. (If y’all wanna talk about some scarring shit, try being the most vanilla and naive 15-year-old in the world and opening a very rough porn.)

The show talk about Zimas, which I had never heard of until a few years ago when my husband took a trip down memory lane. He appreciated the reference. The kids have Sunny D’s and Lunchables. Sunny D is the best, and I still buy it from time to time. I could never understand the appeal of Lunchables. Some of the kids are clearly in their Nirvana/grunge phase. The slang.

Releasing anything remotely related to the 90s is a surefire way to make money. I’m looking at you, manufacturer of the Oregon Trail game I spent $30 on. Everyone in my class loved using that old computer with the big ass floppy disk to play that came.

Watch it if you’re looking for something new and funny. It’s not as funny as The Office, but it has a lot of great moments.

What’s something from your childhood you’ve seen make a comeback or would like to see make a comeback?