I’m not one for making New Year resolutions these days, but I did have one goal in mind for this blog in 2021 — post more. And here we are, almost halfway through the month, and nada. That changes today.
(Not the “posting more” part, because while I still intend to do that, who knows with me, but there being “nada” on this blog for 2021 changes.)
Off we go.
First, I’m going to address my last post — the one where I admitted to saying one of the cringiest things ever and causing myself not to get the med change I needed at the time. (It’s All Good In Da Hood, if you missed it.)
So, I did end up reaching out to my psychiatrist. Over the course of two days, I drafted an email that I deemed worthy of sending. (I wasn’t sitting there for two days, obviously, but I had to keep going back to it and fine-tune the email so that I made sure I got my issues across without a) sounding cringy and b) sounding like I needed to be committed.) I got a response pretty quickly and then a phone call the next day where we discussed a medication adjustment.
I’m now the proud owner of a bottle of Lexapro. It’s an SSRI indicated for depression and anxiety. (And not to be taken by itself if you have bipolar disorder, because yikes. Works well with a mood stabilizer, though.)
After some time on that, I seriously feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I am much calmer, far less cranky/irritable, and am generally in pretty good spirits. (And considering the absolute SHITSTORM going on in the U.S. over the past week, feeling calmer is saying something.) The few anxiety attacks I’ve had have been less intense, too.
While I’m doing better, I am sad to report that BG is not. She has been having some severe anxiety lately, which means a ton of meltdowns. She was bitten by my MIL’s dog, so some of it is tied to that. And then there was Christmas and starting back school, so with all of that bleeding into each other, things have been difficult for her at times.
I talked about it with her occupational therapist last week, and I swear, this chick is an absolute godsend. Her advice has been on point, plus she has been sending me some resources to help with BG and shifted the focus of their last two appointments to coping strategies, identifying emotions, that sort of thing. She’s also helping us find a child therapist. We’re hoping to find a therapist who has experience with girls on the autism spectrum.
I put up some dry erase vinyl sheets in the kitchen/living room area with a visual schedule for different parts of the day for BG. Her OT mentioned how helpful she thought that’d be. And while it is very helpful, BG thinks that anything not on that schedule means “it ain’t happening for anybody.” I had to run errands after school yesterday and planned to leave shortly after BG got home. (I wasn’t taking her with me.)
“The schedule doesn’t say ‘Target’ on it,” BG informed me. “So you can’t go.”
I went after hanging out with her for a while, which she wasn’t very happy about. My husband said she repeatedly asked when I was going to be back while I was gone. (I’ve noticed a little separation anxiety lately, too.) The child ended up tracking my location on the iPhone Find Me app to see where I was and how long it would take me to get home.
Now for the boy…he’ll be a teenager in a few weeks. Let me tell ya — little boys can get stinky. Not-so-little-boys? They have a funk that smells like onions and sweaty socks. GAG.
He has been doing well. He got a few video games for Christmas, so that’s his focus right now. He mentioned his bestie starting virtual and having a math class with him, which he’s ecstatic over.
“We get to text each other during the class and make fun of the teacher.”
His face totally lights up talking about her, too, so I wonder if that best friend territory will end up in crush territory for him. She came to his birthday party last year, and it was pretty obvious she was in the latter territory.
My husband is doing well, too. He was recently recruited for a new role in his company and found out he got it. It’s a pretty big pay bump and work he’s excited about doing, so 2021 is off to a good start for him in that respect! We are going to celebrate on Saturday night with steaks and good booze. (At home, of course.)
How is your year going so far?