She Forgot She Is A Girl

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I actually wouldn’t mind brewing you a cup today. We had a 3-day cool down, which ends this afternoon, but it was still a crisp 58 degrees this morning. Yesterday the high was 79, and between that and a breeze, it was absolutely glorious. We will return to the high 80s and 90s starting today for lord knows how long, but the reprieve from the heat was much appreciated.

We’ve had a pretty good week. The boy got his progress report on Thursday and had all As and one B. That’s a huge improvement from the three report cards he got in fifth grade (for his school, they only get report cards the last half of fifth grade; the rest of their 5.5 years there, they simply tell us whether they’re meeting expectations or not). Middle school is looking good on him so far.

The girl also got a progress report, and it said she is meeting expectations. We will have a 504 Plan meeting with her school on Tuesday. The VP was supposed to get stuff going on speech and occupational therapy services through the school before the school year started. So we’ll talk about that and other possible accommodations. Her teacher hasn’t had any complaints, so there probably won’t be a lot accommodations wise at this point, aside from stuff like preferential seating and using noise-canceling headphones. (She already takes care of that, but I guess it’d be good to get it in writing.) She manages okay until she gets home, and then she lets all of her pent-up frustrations loose.

I have been getting so cracked up at some of the papers BG brings home. Sometimes — mostly with math — she’ll scratch out the problem and write her own and answer that. “I don’t like their yucky questions,” she said. “I want my own problems.”

Here’s an example of one, although this one is more of a misunderstanding. She thought they messed up by not putting anything on the plate when it told her to count the objects and write the number, so she “fixed it.” ❤

The kids have taken an interest in scooters. LM’s friend sends him videos at the skate park, so LM wanted to try with a scooter he got for Christmas a few years ago. And since LM wanted to do it, so did BG. My husband took the kids to a church to scoot around in their parking lot this morning. When they came back, BG ran in and told me she had her very first scar. I asked where it was, and she yanked down her pants and underwear. 

“Look, it’s on my penis!” she informed me. “My very first scar is on my penis!”

Oh boy.

There was no scar. There definitely wasn’t a penis. I reminded her that she is a girl and girls have vulvas, not penises.

“Ohhhh…I forgot that I was a girl for a little while,” she responded.

That child.

We don’t have any big weekend plans. We’re going to a friend’s birthday party tonight, but that’s it. We’re going to take it easy tomorrow, and then we’ll get started on a busy week that will end with BG’s tonsillectomy.

Saturday Randomness

Yay, it’s the weekend!

And, yay, both sets of grandparents invited the kids over for Friday and Saturday! That means double weekend date night, a first in the history of Baby Girl. My husband and I went out last night to our favorite Italian restaurant and I had my usual chicken parm. (Obviously the 30-day keto challenge got postponed dammit.) It was so damn good. I had leftovers and threatened my husband’s life if he dared touch them like he did last time.

He also ordered a slice of chocolate cake, which ended up being enough for four people.

Yum.

I texted LM during the meal and taunted him with the cake, which didn’t amuse him very much.

Not shown is the other half of the cake, which we did bring home for the boy.

I doubt we’ll go anywhere tonight, so it’ll be a stay-at-home date night. He has whiskey and I’ll have rum and vodka, so we’ll do Hulu and for-real chill.

It looks like we’ll have guests in a few weeks. My in-laws are moving their mobile home and asked to stay with us for a few days. I love them to death, but am not looking forward to it, mostly because my father-in-law is the loudest person in the world. And as someone who a) takes out her hearing devices around him and b) is mostly deaf in one ear and has a severe loss in the “good” ear, that’s saying something. He and BG get going and it’s so loud that you literally can’t converse with anyone else in the room. Hello, headache town. They’ve always been good to us, though, so we could never say no to helping them out. I will be buying a new bottle of Excedrin migraine reliever, though.

This past school week ended up being good for BG for the most part. We had minimal crying in the mornings. On Thursday night, though, she had a meltdown of epic proportions because she didn’t want to go to school. She was in the bathtub of all place, and when it was time to wash up and get out, she refused because getting cleaned meant she had to go to bed soon and going to bed soon meant she had school in the morning. Oh my god, y’all. I came in to find her in the corner of the tub out of my husband’s reach (it’s a large garden tub) throwing water toys at him. I couldn’t get her to come to me, either, so I was like “fuck it” and got in.

Imagine this:

Except for it’s a 33-pound kid who is wet and somewhat sudsy from the bubble bath. And there’s also legs kicking, fingers clawing, and teeth attempting to bite. Plus screaming. Holy fucking hell. That’s the worst meltdown I’ve seen in a while. Lawdamercy Jesus, as my grandmother would say. We needed a truck load of Xanax after that.

We’ve been getting our Halloween costume plans together. Looks like we’ll do another family thing this year, and this time it’ll be Marvel Cinematic Universe inspired. BG is planning to be either Groot or Rocket or Loki, with a lean towards Groot because she wants to play “Mr. Blue Sky” on the phone and dance to it while trick-or-treating. I’m going as 90s grungy Carol Danvers, my husband is planning to be Bruce Banner mid Hulk-out, and the boy wants to be either Hawkeye or Black Panther. I love doing the family costumes! Last year we did the Incredibles and a year or two before that, we did DC. Now if our hell-on-earth state could just shift over to fall-like weather…

I’ve been thinking about a blog makeover. Maybe come up with a new name for it. Hmm.

What randomness would you like to share from your week?

Wednesday Funnies

It’s time for a few funny — or at least mildly amusing — things the kids have said over the past week.

Little Man and I have been playing Words With Friends with each other. (If you wanna play, you can find me at “supmynerds.”) I know we could play Scrabble, but this is much more convenient since we can just play it as we go. We were playing last night when the boy started giggling like crazy.

“Wait till you see what I put,” he said, still snickering. “It’s so inappropriate!”

I opened up the app wondering if “fart” or “poop” had made an appearance yet again. Nope. He spelled:

SEX

I chuckled. Here we go with the dirty middle schooler brain. (Or what he thinks is being dirty, anyway.) I imagine it won’t be long before “That’s what she said” clicks for him. Right now, he’s mostly chiming in with “That’s what she said” for perfectly innocent comments like, “I’m running to Wal-Mart now” or “Let’s watch something on TV.”


Over the weekend, the kids were tasked with picking up their toys in the living room and their bedrooms. BG was dragging ass, as usual, since cleaning is “the most yucky thing EVER.” (She usually changes her tune a bit when I bring out a trash bag to bag up her yucky toys to take to storage.) LM picked up something of hers in the living room and tossed it in the floor of her bedroom, which she took issue with.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to throw toys in the floor, LM. Pick it up and put it where it goes!”

“You’re a good one to talk,” LM said. “You’ve got toys all over your floor.”

BG huffed. “Well, you shouldn’t try to be like me.”

Cue LM getting the giggles.


This one started out rather annoying. LM had open house at school last week. He led us around to meet his teachers and got pissy when we wanted to meet all of the teachers on one hall before going to another.

“We need to go in order,” he insisted. “We have to go in the order the classes on my schedule is in.”

Walking all over the building from one end to the other multiple times in the crowded as fuck hallways? Uh-uh. Plus, we needed to hurry along and pick up BG so we could do dinner and baths and get in bed on time. We explained this, which put him in a hell of a mood. He walked to a couple of classes and glumly pointed out what they were and would try to take off before we could even speak to the teacher. By the time we were 2/3 of the way through the schedule, we were getting irritated.

And then we went to the gym.

The kid who wasn’t very happy about being pulled from a computer class (they put him in the same one twice) and moved to PE completely lit up.

“And this is where we have PE!” he said excitedly. “Come on, I want to show you something cool.”

He practically drug us to…

*drumroll*

The boys’ locker room. And it smelled like ass. I wasn’t sure what “cool” thing I was going to look at in the gym, but a gross locker room wasn’t on the list of possibilities.

“Come on, let’s check out everything. I can show you where I change and my locker and the football equipment.”

The PE teacher came in just then and totally cracked up. He said that was the first time a kid wanted to show off the locker room. We didn’t hang around in there long, because it seriously stunk. At least he got excited about something, though.

On another note, the teachers we got to talk to seemed to like LM. His English teacher especially. She mentioned how well-behaved and respectful he was and commented on how if she hadn’t seen his 504 Plan that she wouldn’t have known he had ADHD. That’s probably due to a combination of his meds and how much he enjoys their class. They switch up classes this week, so she’ll have in in the afternoon instead of the morning, so we’ll see if the meds are still working their magic by then.

Happy Wednesday!

Yet Another Lazy Weekend

The quality of my sleep has been garbage for the past couple of months. I’ve been falling asleep okay, which is a nice change from lying awake tossing and turning with a million thoughts racing through my head, but I still wake up feeling exhausted. That likely has something to do with Baby Girl joining us in the middle of the night. And laying with her head in my neck at times and kicking the ever loving shit out of my back at others. She joined us last night, too, but she got up with her dad at 7:30 and I slept until 10:30 this morning, so I feel good. It is so damn nice to wake up feeling refreshed.

We had a lazy weekend last week, and this one has been the same so far. My clothing changes have been limited to putting on fresh pajamas and I haven’t had to so much as touch a bra.

I’ll take swinging low at home any day over those damn restrictive bras.

I miss watching the kids play sports, but it nice to not have anywhere to be on Saturdays. (And three evenings during the week for more games and practices.) It’s good for LM to get a break, and BG didn’t want to play soccer anyway. I imagine we’ll sign her up in the spring whether she wants to or not just to get her out there and have her try again and see how it goes. Unless the boy does the winter play, all we’ll have to focus on is school until next February when soccer starts.

It’s almost fall, y’all. Soon enough I’ll be able to wear my preferred blue jeans and flannel shirts, which make me look manly instead of cute, but I love them. Fall is absolutely my favorite time of the year. We’re planning a weekend trip to the mountains in late October to see the leaves changing. That doesn’t sound very exciting, but it’s so lovely to look at. Plus it’ll be much cooler there than it is here, so bonus points.

With this being the first day of September, we’re starting a 30-day keto challenge. We’ve been doing keto or low carb on and off since April. I’m down a little over 30 pounds since starting, which is nice! I want to get back on only keto for a while since that seems to help my cravings better, plus I lost weight more quickly than only counting calories. I’m hoping to hit the 50-pound mark by my birthday. If I do, that’ll be my lowest weight since graduating from college and getting married. Fingers crossed.

Katie bug went to the market to get decorations for Christmas. She checked them out, then she went home. Then she watched a show. The End.

The girl crawled up next to me on the couch while I was writing and asked me to write out that “story” for her. She said she’s a writer now. ❤ And then she headbutted me on my forehead because she wants to start “head bumping” which is “like fist bumping, but better” she said. No, child, just no. I hope she doesn’t try to make that a thing at school.

Happy long weekend to those of y’all who get tomorrow off!

Tuesday Brain Dump

“I bet you’re getting a lot of writing done now.”

Three people have said this to me over the past week. Each time I smiled and nodded enthusiastically in a way that indicated I was indeed working on the next big thing. Look at me, with all my free time, being productive! My stepmom, who never takes an interest in anything I do, took an interest and asked what. Dammit, woman. I told her about an outline for a YA novel I wrote several months ago because I wasn’t admitting to working on nothing right now and sounding lazy. I don’t know why they expect me to be writing so much in the week the kids have been back to school.

In reality, I’ve written nothing more than some blog stuff. I’m sure I’ll get around to working on that outline or some other outline that probably won’t go anywhere, because my ability to finish a writing project that is longer than 20 pages doesn’t exist it seems, but right now, nada.

So, I didn’t get the Big Job, it appears. I wrote about being sent a contract for a writing job and then not hearing anything back after signing the contract. I went against my husband’s advice and reached out and heard nothing. I’m not sure why you would send someone a contract and then not give them actual work, but whatever. I’m equal parts bummed and relieved because with riding all over the country for these kids’ schools, BG’s therapy, and other crap, I’m not sure where a fullish time job would fit right now. Okay, maybe it’s not equal parts anything (I’m 90% bummed), but I guess it’s sort of a silver line? Hmm.

I whined to my husband about it. He told me not to worry and that I didn’t need to move into something so quickly anyway. I ignored him and whined more about wanting to make money and feeling like things don’t ever work out, which made him roll his eyes. Mr. Corporate America himself told me I shouldn’t be selling myself out for corporate America in the first place. Okay, then. I’m allowed to be disappointed. 

Yesterday LM asked me for some needle-nose pliers and wire cutters. I gave them to him, happy to see that he was building something. And then I asked what he was making.

“A lock-picking kit for school.”

I asked why.

“In case I forget my combination. There’s a place for a key in the back. I could whip out my lock-picking kit and get in.”

Oh boy. I told him nope because the school has a master key for those locks, and I was pretty sure that they’d frown on a student being able to open every locker in the school. Also, carrying around a bunch of wires in his pocket would not be good. He didn’t understand why. Really, son? You don’t know why poky wires in your pocket near your junk isn’t a good idea? Hmm.

He decided that he’d continue with his set anyway so he could open any door in our house. He wanted to be able to get in the front door if we got locked out and couldn’t find the spare.

First, you really have no concern for the poky wires, do you?
Second, you are so not fucking with the door that is already fucked up. I can barely get in as it is.

The kid ended up locking himself out of the bathroom in an effort to show off his lock-picking abilities. The bathroom has an exterior door on it for whatever reason, so it has a real lock. One that we don’t have the key for. LM offered to kick down the door, noting that it’s possible he’d break the wood but that the hinges would probably be okay. My husband got it open.

Whew, BG was a mess to get ready for school this morning. She refused to open her eyes, because if her eyes weren’t open, then she wasn’t awake and couldn’t go to school. That’s how she explained it, anyway. I got the pajamas off her little stiff-as-a-board body and dressed her. After getting her shoes on and telling her that she really need to stop messing around so I could brush her teeth and hair, the waterworks and kicking and screaming began. After I got her calmed down, I carried her out to the bathroom and found LM dancing while drinking a Capri Sun. He wasn’t fully dressed, of course. We got out the door on time, though, and LM didn’t forget his backpack like he did yesterday.

I took BG for breakfast at the place with the legit best chicken sandwiches. She did not eat, but at least we got a picture of her favorite stuffie of the day.

Weekend Coffee Share: School And Stuff

If we were having coffee, I wouldn’t bitch and moan about the heat today. We’re getting some respite from the heat this weekend, with highs in the upper 70s. It’s accompanied by clouds and rain, so it’s rather dreary, but I’ll take dreary over 90s any day. Our area has had almost 60 days of weather in the 90s (real feel in low 100s typically, thanks to humidity), and that is more than this time last year, which ended up 74 miserable days. So, this break is welcomed with open arms, even if it’s rainy.

That’s not us this weekend, yay!

If you were actually at my house for coffee right now, you’d probably give me a pat on the back for having a reasonably tidy house. I missed the kids while they were off at school this week, but my house is not a disaster zone, and for that I am grateful. Silver linings, amirite? I’ve got a load of clothes going and need to wipe down the table from this morning, but otherwise, it’s all good. I wouldn’t even turn someone away from my doorstep if they came up unexpectedly, and that’s saying something for me. (They’d have to wait while I put on a bra, but that’s it.)

You’d probably ask how the kids’ first week of school ended, so I’d tell you that LM’s ended on a very positive note. He had zero complaints for the week, enjoys all of the teachers he has met, and has made a couple of nerdy friends. The boy also made a 97 on his English quiz and a 95 on a math quiz. As long as he stays on top of his assignments and turns things in this year, he should do just fine. (He had a few Cs and Ds on his progress reports for not turning in stuff last year, so I’m hoping that won’t be an issue!)

Baby Girl, on the other hand, is still trying to adjust as I mentioned in another post. She doesn’t have any specific complaints, and she seems to like her teacher, but she has cried in the mornings and at night a lot and says she doesn’t want to go. Part of it is she’s just not sleeping long enough, despite lying down early. She also wakes up in the night, so she’s understandably very tired. Hopefully when she gets those tonsils out next month, I think she’ll sleep better. Even if she doesn’t fall asleep earlier, she’ll get a better night’s rest at least.

The principal greats her every morning and lets her cuddle his dog, so that usually perks her up before she goes inside. I should probably make a point of asking if she gets upset or has a meltdown if they’ll take her down to cuddle the dog for a bit. We will have a meeting to go over a 504 Plan soon, so I’ll bring it up then. Hopefully the coming week will be easier for her! I know it would take time for any kid to get adjusted, and even more so for one who is having sleep issues and is on the spectrum. It just breaks my heart to see her so upset.

We have no real plans for the weekend. My husband originally wanted to go to the zoo since the weather was supposed to be cooler, but it’s a) rainy and b) the kids are tired and want to hang around the house. We can always do the zoo in the fall. My friend messaged me about going to dinner tonight, so I may do that, but that’s it if anything. I may also have a drink or two or three tonight. Lazy weekends are the best, especially when they come on the heels of an exhausting week!

How was your week?

Weekend Coffee Share is hosted by Eclectic Alli

Friday Funnies

This has been an exhausting week, but I’ll save all that for another post. For now, I’m gonna focus on a few things that made me chuckle this week.

My husband’s uncle is on Facebook. He’s in his 80s and is quite a piece of work (he once told my husband all Obama supporters should get out of the country). My husband showed me something he posted this week that had us both laughing.

Nope, you’re not gonna find friends on Facebook by posting a status, dude. The funny thing about this is that he has multiple Facebook profiles (two with his name misspelled, including this one), and he has added himself to his other accounts. And I don’t even get that last thing. Why would you do that? My husband’s dad has ten, yes TEN, Facebook accounts that we know of, and he adds himself to all of his other profiles.


Coming in the year 2040: MarsFrog Frozen Yogurt. It will be available on the planet Neptune. Originally, it was going to be on the moon, but Baby Girl changed it to Neptune. She decided that after she becomes an astronaut, she’s opening up her own frozen yogurt shop. Fine by me, because I love the stuff. She asked me to go through astronaut training so I can come with her and help with her shop. I agreed. She’s still deciding what she wants to have on her toppings bar.


I swear, sometimes I still feel like I’m dealing with a toddler. Last night, I succeeded in pissing off Baby Girl while giving her a bath. Somehow we started talking about our vacation for next summer, and I told her we were cruising to Mexico. She asked what language they speak there and I told her Spanish. BG said she didn’t want to go there because she doesn’t know enough of the language to talk to them. I explained that many people there also speak English like she does, so she’d be fine.

“I don’t speak English,” she said.

“Yes, you do.”

“NEVER! I would never speak English! I talk regular.”

I told her that English was the language she was speaking at that moment, which caused her to start thrashing around and yelling. After she calmed down, I explained that England, another country, colonized this country, which is why we speak English. She seemed satisfied with that and stopping fussing over it.

Of all the ways I can piss her off, I would never have imagined that would be one of them.


That’s all I’ve got for now. Happy Friday 🙂

School Days, School Days

School days, school days
Dear old Golden Rule days
‘Reading and ‘riting and ‘rithmetic
Taught to the tune of the hick’ry stick

I have fond memories of my grandmother singing that in the mornings to wake me up for school. She fixed my “breakfast” of a Carnation Instant Breakfast drink since I wouldn’t eat real breakfast and got me ready. Good times and something I sorely missed after my dad remarried and we moved out of her house. My kids didn’t care for me singing that to them very much, which may have something to do with my inability to carry a tune.

So, Little Man is only on his third day of middle school today, but he said yesterday that it was still awesome. He likes the lockers, the extra bit of freedom, and having different kids in most classes. He also really likes the teachers he has had so far and even likes riding the bus. He made a friend (whose name he can’t remember, of course lol) who is into superhero stuff. He said even though the kid thinks Spider-Man could beat Superman in a fight, he’s pretty cool otherwise.

LM said his heavy backpack caused his desk to flip over in class when he got up, and was shocked when no one laughed and another kid helped him get it back up. I hope this polite behavior continues. Middle schoolers can be pretty harsh to each other, but it’s starting out on a very good note.

Baby Girl, on the other hand…yikes. She said her first day was “fine,” but didn’t give me much in the way of details, aside from playing with the other little strange girl at recess. (And I won’t refer to her as the little strange girl again, just specifying since I did in my last post.) Last night when we got her ready for bed, she was rage crying over having to go to school again. I hoped she’d feel better after a good night’s sleep, but more rage crying again this morning. She perked up a little when we got to the school and the principal let her cuddle his dog, so that’s good.

I know it’ll take a little time for her to get used to the longer days and less fun atmosphere (compared to preschool), but hopefully she’ll come around. She’ll only have a half day once per week since she has to go to her therapies (which she enjoys), so maybe that’ll help. I hope we won’t come to regret starting 5K instead of opting for another year of preschool.

The transportation is a headache. Even though LM rides the bus, we have a 20 minutes drive to the bus stop, and he has to be there an hour before BG’s school begins. I’m not feeding her breakfast at home and letting her sleep a little later and taking her to get grits while we wait for her school. And in the afternoons, we’ll have to wait about half an hour for his bus to get to the stop. Leaving at 6:40 and getting home at 4:20 every day. Less than three hours of free time before taking showers and getting ready for bed, and that doesn’t count homework and supper. Yeesh. At least they aren’t doing any sports or plays.

It was nice to have a quiet house for a few hours yesterday (and take a nap!), but today I’m missing them. I’ve gotta stop dragging ass and get on my to-do list. Eventually.

If your kids have gone back to school already, how’s it going for them?