WordPress, Couch Licking, And More

Public Service Announcement

Let me get this out of the way…

There is a plague upon WordPress’s house. And that plague is the new editor.

I’ve used the classic editor for more than a decade. When they switched to boxes, I updated my settings for classic. And then another time, I contacted support to switch me back. But it looked like I was finally doomed to using the boxes on the last update.

I couldn’t find any info for switching back by search, and the most recent comment from support on one of the forums said they weren’t adjusting settings anymore. PANIC. I don’t like change. I’m still mad at Apple for changing the color of the music icon on the iPhone, and that was years ago. So moving away from the editor I used for work and fun — all the cuss words.

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Through luck, I figured it out. I went under “Posts” and when that opened, there was an “Add new” tab at the top with an arrow next to it. I clicked that arrow, and lo and behold, the option to post using the classic editor was there. Note: doing anything other than this gets me with the new editor. Don’t click “Add New” in the column on the left or it will give you boxes. Also, you have to sign in through yoursite.com/wp-admin for this.

Y’all are probably thinking WTH or don’t care because you use your tablets to post, and that’s great, but for the one or two of you who might miss Classic, there ya go.


Now that I have that info out of the way, I’ll move along to more personal shit. Nothing as juicy as the house that was taken, though.

First, what is wrong with my children? They fight over who gets to cuddle with me. You’d think that between me being built for comfortably cuddling two kids at once that they’d be fine, but no.

“I want the whole thing,” BG screams at LM.

Yes, “thing.”

“Stay on your side!” LM screams back.

“I don’t want a side! I want all of it!”

Yes, “it.”

“Well, you have to share OR ELSE.”

Cue BG balling up her fist and attempting to punch LM in the face. SIGH. I’ll tell ya, that little girl is stronger than she looks. Trying to manage her with one arm (with the bad shoulder) and keep her from attacking her brother isn’t easy. It’d be easier if her brother would move for a minute so I could deal with her, but no.

This happens every other day. Once they made a truce and agreed to each get one boob and over and avoid the middle, but I wasn’t entirely comfortable with that compromise. The last time we had a cuddle session, BG tried to cough on LM and told him she was giving him coronavirus.

Also, in the land of “What is wrong with my children?” WHY, WHY, WHYYYY will BG not stop licking the fucking couch?

New trending GIF online: nbc, gross, andy samberg, disgusting, brooklyn 99, brooklyn  nine-nine, jake peralta, yucky

It is gross for so many reasons. She’ll either lick it or suck on it and leave huge spots. And GERMS. I threw the cushions in the wash the other day and made all sorts of threats if she licked the couch again (and I offered her alternatives since honestly, I know it’s a sensory thing but it’s so freaking strange), but the licking resumed after a couple of days.


Also, why do my children have to pick Halloween costumes that aren’t readily available? Last year BG wanted Beast Boy, and of course they hadn’t put out new Beastie costumes in some time. This year, BG wants Wolverine, and there isn’t anything in her size because either you get to be a baby Wolverine or a big kid Wolverine — kids still in toddler sizes don’t get to be Wolverine. LM at first wanted to be Hawkeye, but I couldn’t find anything for that. He’s in that weird place where kid’s costumes won’t fit and the adult costumes are too big. He then switched to Winter Soldier from the Captain America movies. I found a Wolverine jacket that has a masked hood and will pair that with some yellow pants for the girl, and I found a Winter Soldier shirt (it looks like his clothing/arm) and will add some other stuff to make it work for LM.

We are really looking forward to Halloween! It’ll be different since we won’t get to do any big festivals, but we’ll still have trick-or-treating. My neighborhood is perfect for distanced trick-or-treating, so I think it’ll be safe.


Last — has anyone watched the show The Boys on Amazon? It is so damn good. It shows what would happen if corporate America were in charge of real superheroes and stuff. It’s also an excellent parallel for the society we live in. (I won’t say much otherwise, because of spoilers. Just check it out.)

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How was your week?

Google Classroom is the Worst!

Two weeks of schooling is done. (And a new one is starting, because I apparently can’t write and publish a post in a timely fashion.) And by two weeks, that comes out to three in-person days and two online days for the girl and nine online days for the boy.

BG enjoyed her in-person day last week (no school on Labor Day) and liked the way her lessons for online were set up. She’s a very happy camper right now.

The boy is still less than enthusiastic. Everything annoys him. The other kids and their questions and constant messages annoy him. Two of the teachers annoy him because “they’re idiots.” The constant emails about assignments annoys him. Google Classroom annoys him. The list is endless. He said if it weren’t for having to get up earlier and change clothes that he’d rather be in the classroom for the two days.

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Replace “She” with “Google classroom.”

If he changes in January, we’ll see how he likes not being able to play Fortnite or watch TV during his lunch break. 😉 And those two teachers he doesn’t care for? Well, he’ll have the pleasure of being with them in-person.

I had my skin cancer spot removed last week and more was removed than I thought would be. It ended up being stage 2 and had spread a bit under the skin, so the area cut away was larger than expected. The original spot was about the size of an M&M, but after removing it all, the wound ended up being 2 inches wide. Luckily it’s almost at the top of my scalp, and the way I wear my hair covers the wound/scar. I “learned” this lesson in the past, but apparently it didn’t stick — if something doesn’t feel right, follow up with another doctor (or two). That could’ve been handled three years ago had my previous provider listened.

When the girl brought home her school stuff on Tuesday, she had a little book in it about being safe around each other. (Pandemic stuff.) While I very much appreciate that they’re really enforcing masks and distancing with the kids, I about peed my pants laughing at this book.

How can we greet our friends?

Other options included elbow bumping, foot bumping, and air hugging. I think I’ll go with saluting. I would foot bump, except I’d probably fall.

LM tried to get me to learn how to do this dance with him. It didn’t not go well.

Here’s to another good week!

Back To School

Yesterday was the first day back to school. Back to school in-person for the girl and virtual for the boy. The anxiety level was running high on BG’s behalf. Will they really enforce their mask and distancing rules? Is it possible for her to even enjoy being there or get anything out of it with so much change? Most people seem to think no for the younger ages.

Baby Girl went from the worst meltdown yet and threatening to “cancel school” on Sunday night to “I had the best day ever and didn’t want to come home!” on Monday afternoon. She also complained last night about not being at school.

Thank the lord. But she’s not going to be too please with the five-day break.

I noticed that every child going into and coming out of the school had on a well-fitted mask. BG said that they kept their masks on at all times except lunch and recess. And at recess they weren’t able to use the playground equipment and couldn’t stand close. They talked and played shadow tag and that was plenty. The letter home from the school also said it would be a very strict rule for everyone to wear masks properly and that if anyone had a medical exception, a face shield was required. So I feel a lot of relief on the safety end. (Compared to LM’s teacher, who included their mask policy and said they only needed to wear it in halls or when doing group work or otherwise sitting close. We made the right call with him.)

You’d think that first graders who aren’t with their whole class, can’t use playground equipment or class toys, have to wear masks, have to eat in their classrooms, can’t leave the classroom except recess, etc. would probably not be too overjoyed with being there. BG has gone so long without interaction with other kids and people (exception being seeing my husband’s mom, my parents twice, and her cousin once) that she was just overjoyed to be able to go to school and be around the kids. I’m guessing a lot of kids who have distanced from almost everyone for the better part of the last six months will feel the same.

It made me tear up to hear the excitement in BG’s voice over just  being in school. It really hit how hard this has been on her. She said her #2 best friend was in her class, too, which she was super excited about. Based on the amount of talking those two did in their kindergarten class, they may soon come to regret that lol.

Little Man wasn’t very impressed with virtual school. Being on a computer for the better part of seven hours wasn’t his idea of a good time. He did say that he preferred it to going and being away so long, though. It helped that he got to watch part of the Avengers Endgame movie during lunch. And he only has to be online for two full days plus a half day on Wednesdays, so at least it won’t be all week.

He said some of the teachers had a hard time streaming, so it’ll probably take a couple of weeks to get adjusted. Those seventh graders were savage with the comments they were leaving on class stream while they waited. 😮 They are letting them be on video too like on Zoom, so it’s neat they will be able to see their classmates. LM showed me that some kids were doing TikTok dances while waiting and DURING the class.

Most Viral TikTok Dances

This is going to be interesting.

Here’s to a great and safe school year.

Good Night, Sleep Tight…

Yesterday, I published a post about underwear.

I’ve been blogging for six years now, yet I found myself writing about underwear. And not even good underwear. Not sexy underwear, not underwear with cool characters on them. Granny panties is what y’all got.

Is this what rock bottom feels like?

Just kidding, of course. Writing is writing, right?

Okay, maybe no more underwear talk this week. I’ll save my bra post for next week.

The boy gave me a good laugh today. We were talking about how things have changed since the pandemic, and he commented on not staying overnight with my dad.

“I miss staying over, but it’s probably for the best,” Little Man said. I nodded in agreement, since the closer we get to the election, the nuttier my dad usually gets.

That wasn’t LM’s reason why, though.

“His bedbugs creep me out.”

I laughed. “What?”

“You know…his bedbugs. He has bedbugs, and it just weirds me out to think about them crawling all over me.”

I laughed. If my stepmom had bedbugs in her home, I’d know about it, and the house would probably be burned down.

“Papa told me. Remember? It was a long time ago, back at his old house, when he told me they had bedbugs.”

Oh yeah!

I remembered then. Little Man was 4 or 5, and my dad had done the whole “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite” bit with LM. LM took it seriously, though, so he told his Sunday school class the next morning that his grandparents had bedbugs. When they brought him home from church, we were eating supper, and LM started talking about the bugs. “I told my teacher about your bedbugs!”

“What?! I don’t have bedbugs!” my stepmom exclaimed.

“Yes, you do!” LM replied. “Papa says so!” The look on my poor stepmom’s face at the thought that the church thinks she has bedbugs.

We all had a good laugh over it, and my stepmom said she’d make sure his teacher knew there weren’t any bed bugs. Well, somehow in our laughter, it appears that no one explained the nursery rhyme and that LM still thought they had bugs.

“There were no bedbugs, LM! It was just a rhyme” I told him.

“Yes there are! I don’t feel them crawling on me at night, but I know they’re there.”

Lawdamercyjesus.

I made it crystal clear this time that the bedbugs thing is just a fun little rhyme and does not indicate an infestation. Hopefully the next time he sleeps over, he’ll be more comfortable.

School Is Coming

Yes, that title is a Game of Thrones reference, because I’m obsessed.

This is it — the week before school starts back.

Little Man’s reaction to this realization:

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I’m not even exaggerating. He is not happy about this back-to-school nonsense and will not stop going on about it. I pointed out that he won’t have almost a two-hour round-trip commute time this year. (Last year it was a 20ish minute drive to the bus, where he’d usually wait another 10-15 minutes, and then 25 minutes to school. Slightly shorter return trip though.) So that means sleeping in until 8:30 instead of getting up at 6:00. He will have two virtual days online (and that day will end earlier than a normal day) and the other days he’ll work on assignments that have been uploaded. Plus no uniforms! Plus he’s been able to fuck off for the better part of the past 5.5 months.

“Whyyyyyyyyyy? I can’t believe this! I’m not ready for school! This is the worst!”

After much bitching, I threatened to call his school and have him go in-person for two days. They wouldn’t have let me change it if I called, but the grumbling stopped for a little while at least. Mean old mom.

The plan for the girl is to do the two in-person days at this point. We’ve talked to the principal, reviewed their safety procedures, discussed class size, selected her teacher (I’m glad they let us pick, because as sweet as the older teacher is, I’m not sure she would’ve been the best fit for the girl), and we’ve gotten her therapies in order. She’ll leave before lunch on one of the days, so 1.5 days in person and two virtual. And if cases go up or they aren’t as gung-ho on the measures they’ve said they’re taking, then we’ll pull out.

She’s not really looking forward to school. BG doesn’t really care about the masks or the changes I told her about, but she said she doesn’t want to be away from me. I hope it will help that she is already familiar with her teacher, and hopefully someone she likes will be in her class. I know her best friend is doing all virtual, though.

I’ve been ordering the back-to-school stuff online, and I got her shoes in the mail today — a pair of pink Nikes. Pink because it was the only color had in her favorite style of shoes (BG would rather wear rainboots or Crocs every day, but they used to have PE days where they needed sneakers.) That style has been discontinued but I lucked out and found them on eBay. Her response to the shoes:

“Maybe it’s good that they’re pink so the other girls will like me.”

Gahhhhh. 😦

We got her kid’s messenger on my phone recently, so she’s been chatting with her best friend a little. They do video chat and some texting, and their messages are so stinking cute and formal.

BG: Good afternoon, [friend].

Friend: Good afternoon, [BG].

That sort of thing.

So, today the boy asked about 69. The naughty number.

It came up innocently. He was trying to create a Roblox account and stuck 69 on the end of his username, but Roblox wouldn’t let him because it was inappropriate.

“Why is this inappropriate? It’s a number! Thor used it as part of his username on Endgame!”

My husband’s response was “It just is,” (sigh) which led to LM googling what 69 meant.

“Oh my god! I know what 69 means now. What is wrong with the freaking world?!”

Lord help.

Also, everything.

Where’d The Week Go?

Me: I’m gonna post, post, post even if it’s just using a random prompt.

Also me: A week between posts.

I didn’t realize I hadn’t posted all week until I logged on and saw the date of the last post. It was one of those weeks that went by very quickly. We didn’t go anywhere, but we’ve stayed busy inside and outside taking care of stuff. (Plus binge watched a show after the kids went to bed.) I did a little baking and worked with the kids on some school stuff. The last part was more time consuming than I planned.

Baby Girl was on her new medicine this week. We did a half dose instead of a full dose every day except Friday. It’s an ADHD medication, so obviously its main use is to help with focus, but we tried it with the girl because the doctor thought it would help with her meltdowns. There are some studies that show stimulant meds can help with “emotional lability” in kids with autism and help keep drastic behaviors in check, so it was worth trying.

Maybe it was the med or maybe it was just a coincidence, but BG had a fantastic week — only had a few rough moments. And even then, we were able to help her pull back very quickly. A meltdown that would’ve lasted for half an hour was reduced to her losing her cool for about 30 seconds and then settling down. And the losing her cool didn’t involve screaming at the top of her lungs or hitting anyone, either. Holy shit. If next week is anywhere close to that, then yay meds and damn me for not being open to it when the doctor brought it up last year.

LM’s tween mouthiness aside, it was a very peaceful and productive week.

Now for the focus aspect of the medication —

You just couldn't handle my undivided attention ! | Office humor ...

I laughed at this scene, but omg, it’s true. BG’s level of focus was intense. My husband called it kinda scary. This contributed to some of our activities taking much longer than I had planned.

Happy Baby Girl, happy family (but extra busy mom and dad lol).

We had some good family news this week — one of our relatives had a baby and two others announced that they were pregnant! ❤ There has been so much death and other difficulties with family and friends this year that getting those three pieces of news in the span of 24 hours was just wonderful and uplifting.

The kids will start school two weeks from tomorrow. We still have BG enrolled in the 2-days in-person option, but it’s looking like virtual for BG’s age could be a possibility through her school. (It would have been either 2 days in-person and packets from home, as the district was only doing the true virtual option for kids in grades two through twelve, but her small school has a bit more leeway than others.) Hopefully this will happen! We would switch for sure.

My husband and I are watching Game of Thrones. Finally. My brother has been after me to watch it for years. “You love Lord of the Rings, so I know you’ll love this. Just watch it!” I watched 20 minutes of the first episode a year or two ago and thought it was boring, but I decided to try it again. I don’t know why I was so bored before, but I absolutely loved it this time. I was going to watch it on my own since I like to stay up a little while after my husband goes to bed and have some time to myself. But after I told him about the first two episodes, he wanted to watch it, too.

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My husband after I told him everything that happened in the first two episodes.

We are going to the library again tomorrow, and I am hoping they’ll have the books.

How was your week?

Dammit, Meredith

We didn’t end up having our visitor. Gotta say, I’m relieved. I want to help where I can, but I’m glad we didn’t have the exposure. I’m also glad we didn’t mention it to the kids, as they would’ve been crushed.

I’ve been busy today. I sewed 20 masks for my daughter’s school. Since masks are required, our district has been asking people to help out. I donated a bunch to the district office to distribute already, but since the girl may be going in-person, I wanted to make sure her class/school has plenty. I’ve also been getting a bottle of hand sanitizer here and there, so we can donate that to her class, too. The good stuff is finally in stock again. I never thought I’d be so happy to see Germ-X or Purell on the shelves. That watery garbage sanitizer practically took my breath away.

NSFry Hand Sanitizer - Meme on Imgur

The girl had an appointment with her neurologist yesterday. Last year she was diagnosed with neurofibromatosis, and she has to do yearly visits. She was supposed to go a few months ago, but ya know. She had to have a full body exam to look for cafe au lait spots and tumors, and my husband quickly discovered that BG chose to ditch her underwear before going.

DAMN IT MEREDITH WHERE ARE YOUR PANTIES? It's Casual Day | the ...

(The compression underwear is a new strategy to keep her from putting her hands in her pants all the time. They’re like bicycle shorts and tougher to get into. Sigh.)

My husband said her body was clear of any tumors and some of her spots had faded away. He said the doctor seems skeptical now of whether she has NF. My husband was diagnosed as a kid, so that factored into BG’s diagnosis. She had many of the classic clinical symptoms — large head, small stature, clumsy, freckling in odd spots, and a bunch of cafe au lait spots. Between that and my husband’s diagnosis, that was enough for a clinical diagnosis for her. I told my husband he should get genetic testing done, and if he’s clear, then she would be, too. That would be awesome, as that disease can be pretty awful. (Google if you want, I’m not going to post the pics of the severe cases here.)

My husband and the girl’s conversation yesterday:

BG: Why am I going to the doctor?

Husband: To get a check up for neurofibromatosis. [Details on what it is and the symptoms, including clumsiness.]

BG: Clumsiness? So Mommy has it, too?

Oof.

On other medical stuff, at the girl’s well visit last week, her doctor and I discussed medication to help with the extreme tantrums. They’ve been bad and tend to be more violent lately. (I’ve had my share of bruises over the past few months, and my husband and son have had a bunch of bites.) Her doctor is going to try her on an ADHD medicine and see if that helps. I hate, hate, hate the idea of this, but I’m willing to give it a trial to see if it helps there. It has been a year since we first talked about it, and we opted to wait to see if therapies and another year of development would help (and was also hopeful that the tonsillectomy would since she’d sleep better), but it hasn’t overall. Fingers crossed on that.

Three days of posts in a row. B-)

Stop, Amazon Time!

I have been doing way too much online shopping. My poor husband every time he checks the online banking stuff, which is multiple times per day because he’s obsessive about stuff like that:

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Look, my house is reasonably clean these days. Laundry mountain is gone. My kids have learned some shit and are fed regularly. I learned a new hobby as well as my patience allows (sewing). I wrote some stories, and that’s all I’m writing for now (since my best friend keeps asking), since there’s no deadline, which means I’m not functioning. Despite starting off the year strong with reading lots of books, I’m not getting into anything right now, so all that’s left is to window shop online. And that usually turns into “Add to cart.”

 

Okay, I exaggerate a little — a lot of my purchases have been for stuff I’d have gone out for (or would’ve bought online anyway). LM needed some clothes and rain boots, BG needed some Crocs and rain boots, and we needed Easter basket stuff. I also got some educational stuff. I bought a few science books for BG, plus I found a lot of 15 Magic School Bus books on eBay. She is loving them. I also discovered these Pete the Kitty books.

How fucking cute is that?! I absolutely adore Pete the Cat and couldn’t resist getting that for myself BG when I saw it. I’d love to get a half-sleeve of tattoos with book characters, including Pete and Max from Where the Wild Things Are.

One thing that has driven my crazy since I bought my iPhone 8 a couple years ago is the lack of a headphone jack. They give you an adapter, but I lost that shit within weeks. And the replacement ones I got from Amazon don’t work right. And bluetooth headphones suck for me because I never remember to charge them. I was browsing Amazon last week and came across some headphones that have a lightning connector that plugs right in to the charger area, so I was thrilled!

Urbeats3

The sound is great! My husband liked them so much that he asked me to buy him a pair in black, except he wanted them to have BOTH the regular plug and the lightning connector. I was like why the hell would they have both? “Because I like having choices.” They don’t make those, not that I could find, so he got the “basic” ones with only the lightning connector. He said the microphone works great for his work calls, too.

I needed some new socks since several pairs of my fun socks have holes in them. Here’s one pair I picked out:

That’s Beast Boy, yo!

Teen Titans Go! has officially made my Top 10 list of funny shows. It has awful ratings (mainly people who were fans of the original — and serious — series not liking the comedic direction it took), but it’s fucking hilarious. The kids love it, my husband and I love it, so it’s nice to have something we all agree on. Beast Boy is awesome, so I couldn’t resist getting these socks.

Animated gif about gif in 👌🏻Teen Titans👌🏻 by Black Cat

Beastboy Party Hard GIF - Beastboy PartyHard TeenTitansGo ...

Yeah, it’s very juvenile (but not in a garbage Spongebob way), but it’s my favorite not-just-for-kids cartoon I’ve watched in years. My husband and I have started talking like Beast Boy to each other and the kids at times, which BG thinks is hilarious and which makes LM die inside.

“What is wrong with you, mama?” – My husband will ask in Beast Boy’s voice. (Also adds “mama” to everything.)

I just add “yo” or “bro” to my sentences.

I’m pretty excited about those socks.

I’ve made a few regrettable Amazon purchases, too. Here is one of them:

Look, I’m all about creativity and shit. Yay kids building blanket and pillow forts. BUT, it just so happens that the best blanket to build a fort with is the quilt I sleep with at night. And it just so happens that MY pillows make the best fort pillows. Guess who isn’t a fan of some dirty little kids taking her pillows and blanket?!

Yep.

So I was window shopping as one does online and came across this blow-up fort. For $50 plus a box fan, I was able to get the kids a fort that sets up in mere seconds and can be taken down and put away in mere seconds. Mere, mere, mere.

They were super excited the first day, but the excitement didn’t last too long. It turns out that kids prefer blankets, chairs, and pillows to something like this. Maybe it’ll go over better outside.

I thought y’all might get a chuckle out of this purchase. Since I couldn’t see my bestie for her birthday, I sent her a couple of things on Amazon. One was a pair of Blue Q socks that I desperately wanted for myself, but couldn’t because of the kids:

Maybe when BG is a little older. I did end up getting a couple pairs of the Blue Q socks for myself, since they’re so comfy and cute, but none of my pairs dropped the f-bomb.

This is the other thing I bought my friend — women insert it in their pants when they have to pee, and then they can pee like a man. No squatting necessary. I bought it was a joke, but it would really come in handy at some venues, such as tailgating at football games and only having port-a-johns to go in.

She definitely got a kick out of those gifts.

The most interesting of my purchases is probably the Mandolin I bought my husband. I saw a message he posted on FB talking to someone else about wanting to learn to play, so I was like “Okay, I’ll get one for him.” He’s not usually the type to buy himself anything. Music is his thing, and that’s how he has spent a lot of his free quarantine time — playing his guitar and writing music. I didn’t used to like his voice very much (I was the only one, as everyone else raved over it), but ever since he started adding a bit of a country twang to it, I’ve gotten really into his singing. (He sounds very much like Bradley Cooper in A Star is Born.)

I thought I was being sneaky and bought the mandolin on my credit card, but he saw the statement and asked. He knew I had talked about buying a new keyboard to teach the kids/learn myself and thought that’s what I purchased. I told him I didn’t get a keyboard, but not to nose around my purchases since I pay for things on my card for privacy. (It just so happens that he gets the bills, hehe.)

It’s a cheaper model, but will be good for him to learn on, and I hope he likes it. With any hope, all three of us can play guitars/mandolin together while BG beats on her drums. (I can play the guitar decently, and LM can play a couple of songs.) Add in the keyboard that I hope to get at some point, and maybe the Anxious Family Band will come your way soon!

Have you made any crazy or fun quarantine purchases? 

Also, does anyone have any book  recommendations for me? I don’t care for romance or James Patterson, but am pretty open-minded otherwise. I’d also like some recommendations for new bloggers to follow!

And I promise I’m working on that Blogger Girls Night Zoom thing. I’ll send out something on Sunday to start figuring out days/times.