kids

Hello, 2018

My husband thinks I’m weird. Again. Shockingly, after being together for almost 13 years, I can still manage to surprise him with my weirdness. This time it was because I commented, “Thank God, I hate odd-numbered years” after the ball dropped and we welcomed 2018. You’d think that for a guy who gets irritated when he finds out that I stopped pumping my gas at the $12.97 mark instead of the $13.00 mark, that he’d somewhat understand. But  nope.

So that’s how my 2018 started, which was probably better than how we’ve previously rung in the New Year — with drunk people who had access to fireworks, firearms, and Fireball. Yikes. We watched part of the new Dave Chappelle special on Netflix, switched over to watch the ball drop, argued for a few minutes, and then finished the special. Obligatory “we’re officially old” comment. And then my husband turned 40 yesterday, so the oldness is legit on his behalf, and now I’m old by association.

Little Man and I talked about writing down New Year’s resolutions, but we didn’t. Considering that both of us essentially had “be organized and get shit done” as one of our goals (his was phrased less cursey), it appears that we aren’t off to a great start.

I had a few goals last year, some I was successful with and some I wasn’t. The main goals was actually losing more weight, which I did. I was down almost 40 pounds when Thanksgiving rolled around. And then after Thanksgiving, my extended birthday weekend, the cruise, multiple Christmas get-togethers, and my husband’s birthday, it’s more like 35. Now it’s time to get back to it. Another goal was to open an Etsy shop, which I did. I only had a few sales (most of my sales were from my Facebook page), but I was able to check that off at least.

Now for some positives from 2017 that weren’t really goals. I was hired for a new job about a month ago. (And got offered for two others I applied for within the same week, go figure!) Typical work from home content writer, part-time, flexible schedule deal. It’s more hours than the other freelance gigs I’ve had in a while, and I’m still trying to get adjusted to that. I like more hours, but finding the quiet time I need to write has been tough, especially with the kids out of school. Note to self: maybe don’t start a new job during the busiest time of the year.

The positive thing that I’m most excited about from 2017 — I was recommended for cochlear implant surgery and will get implanted this month. The insurance company denied it at first and gave the two most bullshit reasons ever, but after a peer-to-peer with my doctor, they approved it, so yay! The doctor said it isn’t guaranteed to work well and that it could take up to a year to see max benefits, but I’m hopeful. Worst case scenario (assuming I don’t die or get meningitis and then die), is that I lose the residual hearing in that ear and am in about the same place I am now. Best case — through rehab and relearning to hear in that ear, I might get close to normal hearing in that ear. The risk is worth it.

This is a big deal, since it recently hit me how much of a struggle it would be with most traditional jobs (Baby Girl will start kindergarten fall of next year), struggling with using the phone, not being able to hear most conversations with background noise, etc. If the implant works, I’ll have more options as far as job opportunities go, plus it’d be nice not to depend on my husband so much.

So, hello 2018 — bring it on.

Any goals for your year or are you just gonna keep on keepin’ on? 

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Creepy Notes

Little Man can be pretty forgetful when it comes to…well, anything, but especially bringing home his homework and important papers. Kids are forgetful. Kids with ADHD are super forgetful. Kids with ADHD that have moms and dads who are scatterbrained as hell are super forgetful times infinity. Science knows this to be true.

So, the boy has a presentation due next month, and his teacher sent out a text message telling the parents to review the rubric. I checked Little Man’s bag, and there was no rubric to be found.

“Where’s the rubric?” I asked.

“What rubric?” he responded.

“The rubric for your project.”

“What proj–oh, I don’t know. Maybe I lost it?”

“Well, maybe you better find it and bring it home tomorrow,” I told him.

“The teacher said if we lost it that we can’t have another one.”

“Find it.”

The next day came, and he didn’t have his rubric, nor did he remember to look for it. The day after, I put a post-it note on his binder reminding him to bring it home. Still, nothing.

“If you don’t look for it tomorrow and ask the teacher about getting another one if you can’t find it,” I told him, “then there’s no screen. At all. Got it?”

Nothing came home and he lost screen. The next two days he was out since we went to Great Wolf Lodge. On the Thursday night before he went back to school, I put more post-it reminders in his bag so that he’d have no excuse of forgetting.

First I put one on his binder. I put another in his folder. Another post-it replaced the bookmark in the book he was reading. Another went in his pencil pouch. Yet another was taped to the handle of his backpack. And the last one was taped to the top of the inside of his lunchbox, so that when he opened it, the note was hanging down in front of his food.

One that didn’t get tossed.

Guess what? The rubric was found and brought home.

“Mom, you know that was kind of creepy,” Little Man told me after coming home. “There was the first note and then the second note, and I found the rubric. But I kept finding more notes as the day went on. The lunchbox not was super creepy. There aren’t anymore notes hidden, are there?”

He did find them all. And now I know what to do when he’s not bringing stuff home and taking stuff from him isn’t working — bombard him with post-it notes. Maybe even rig his sandwich container so that it kind of explodes with a hundred little post-it notes when he opens it. Paint the rock outside the school the post-it orange and put a note on there, too. Or, make a fake tattoo that looks like a post-it with the reminder on it and stick it on his arm. The possibilities are endless.

Praise Zeus

March has been good to us so far. We made it through the first week without anyone getting sick and puking all over or needing a prescription! And my washing machine is no longer running continuously. “Praise Zeus,” as Little Man is fond of saying.

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And, yes, I’m knocking on wood. All the wood. Even…nah, I’m not going there.

We have had a super laid back weekend. We took the kids out to dinner and did a little shopping on Friday night, did soccer and a little cleaning on Saturday, and all we have planned for today is taking apart Baby Girl’s crib to give to some relatives. Since she only used the crib a couple of times (she preferred her pack-n-play), I won’t get all weepy. (Although I am still a little annoyed that the adorable owl sheets I bought to match the theme of her nursery were never really used. I’ll get over it when she’s 20.)

In other good news, I had a few necklace orders this week, plus a couple of vinyl decal orders. If things continue being less chaotic, I hope to get more up on Etsy rather than focusing just on Facebook. People apparently love stuff that is pet-related, so that seems like it’d be a good focus once I start focusing. Little Man is making a bunch of necklaces for a festival at his school, and we have to have 50 ready for later this month, so I’ll be making necklaces one way or another. He has Pokemon, Star Wars, My Little Pony, Deadpool, Transformers, and some others.

Some of the necklaces we made last month.

He’s offered to help me with necklaces for my Etsy shop “for a cut of the profit.” (His class has an entrepreneurship theme this year.) I told him we’d talk after he helps me with 50 necklaces, so now he wants his own shop. He is obsessed with all things LEGO and wants to save his money to buy the Millennium Falcon. That thing is expensive — around $120 — so he better make a lot of necklaces.

What’s new with you?

Here’s To A Less Busy Week

Super busy week is over, but not without another round of illness. (Seriously, wtf is wrong with my house? Do I need to start bathing everyone in Lysol?) A few hours after making my post about sicknesses, I went to pick up Little Man from school. He looked kinda pissed as he got in the car, so I figured he’d had a bad day. As soon as he closed the door, he said, “Mom, I feel like I’m gonna puke.”

Oh shit. “Okay, let me pull up–” and then he projectile vomited all over the car. The next few hours were rough, but fortunately it was just a 24-hour bug, and he didn’t miss out on any of his birthday festivities. Also, fortunately, no one else has gotten it yet.

Little Man’s birthday celebrations went well. He had lots of cake and got lots of nice gifts, so he was a happy boy. For those of you with younger kids — we found out that third grade is the age where parents drop off their kids and disappear for hours. Some of the parents didn’t even bother coming inside. Almost 20 wild kids and a bounce house for three hours — sweet baby Jesus, we needed some booze. Luckily my cousin, who happens to be a third grade teacher, showed up with her kiddos and helped out some.

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I had the dreaded physical on Friday. Unfortunately, the doctor my family sees that we love left abruptly (family issues, we were told), so I had to see someone new. It went well, plus I found out that my cholesterol had dropped 40 points, plus I lost a little weight. I was thrilled with the cholesterol drop, down into the normal range now. That will definitely serve as motivation for improving my health in 2017. I also had an X-ray done for a nagging foot issue and found that the pain is because of a bone spur. Yuck!

Something else new in my household that isn’t health related — Baby Girl is now speaking in a British accent a lot. Her favorite new show is Peppa Pig (thanks a lot, MawMaw), and Peppa is a British show, in case you didn’t know. I swear she isn’t watching so much of it that it should be impacting her former country as hell Southern accent, but it is. It hasn’t helped that Sam and Little Man are encouraging her. So, now the little blonde headed girl that doesn’t look like she belongs to our family also doesn’t sound like she belongs with our family. I’m not traveling outside the country with her anytime soon, we’d probably be accused of kidnapping. 😉

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Things Kids Say: Thomas Edison

Yesterday, Little Man told me about an awesome song he’d heard at school written by Thomas Edison called “Apologize.” Now, I’m no history buff, but I was pretty sure that a) that was a song on the radio and b) that Edison wasn’t a song writer and c) even if he were a song writer, that something he had written wouldn’t have enough staying power to last for close to 100 years.

“Are you sure about that?” I asked, chuckling. “I don’t remember any history lessons about Thomas Edison writing pop songs.”

“Yes,” LM insisted. “I heard it in class today.”

I told him I’d google it. Unsurprisingly, nothing music related came up with I searched for “Thomas Edison” and “apologize song.” However, I did find a Tumblr page called “Thomas Edison is the WORST,” so there’s that.

“Check YouTube,” LM told me. “It was on there.”

The same search didn’t turn up a song written by Edison, but I did find this:

“Mom, we watched it on YouTube in class. I know it’s real,” LM told me. “Try ‘It’s too late to apologize.'”

That did the trick. We found the video he was talking about, but there was no Thomas Edison in it. It’s a constitution parody video.

After telling LM that Thomas Edison had nothing to do with the constitution, I asked if he thought the video was real.

“It could be. You said they had TV in the olden times when Papa was a little boy.”

So, for any of you folks born in 1961 (or earlier), know that you’re from the olden times.