There’s A New Fairy In Town

I’ve written about how I’m not a fan of Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy in a past post. Despite that, there’s a new fairy (well, two) in town, and it’s one of my own creation.

Before my surgery, I was still rocking Baby Girl to sleep at night. I know, I know — at three she was too old, but she’s so small, and we both loved it…but I wasn’t supposed to pick her up for a few days following surgery, she doesn’t like my husband to rock her, so it was time to make the transition.

She was none too happy about this.

“I not gonna do that!” she told me when I mentioned her lying down in the bed to go to sleep.

I tried talking to her about being a big girl, about reading books and stuff before we go to sleep, how her dad or I will lie down with her, but that didn’t do any good. And then I had an idea.

“If you lie down in your bed, the Big Girl Fairy will come to see you.”

Little Man was listening to the conversation. “The WHAT?”

“The Big Girl Fairy. She’s like the Tooth Fairy, only she comes when little girls do big girl things.” BG knew about the Tooth Fairy from Eli, and she has been very upset over not losing teeth to get a visit, so this was appealing to her.

“Oooh, the Big Girl Fairy?” BG asked. “What she gonna bring?”

“Probably a quarter.”

“Maybe a new PJ Masks toy?”

I shook my head. “The Big Girl Fairy isn’t made out of money. She can’t bring toys every night you do what you’re supposed to do, but she can bring something small, like a quarter. You can save your quarters and buy a treat for yourself later.”

Baby Girl thought about this for a moment. “I really want her to bring me chocolate coins.”

“She can do that!” I said, happy that she was getting on board and not thinking about the fact that would mean candy the first thing in the morning.

“Maybe the Big Girl Fairy can visit me, too?” Little Man asked, grinning.

“She not gonna see you, Little Man, she the Big Girl Fairy, not the Big  Boy Fairy!” Baby Girl informed him.

And so the Big Girl Fairy was born. Baby Girl has been lying down at night with no issue, but she still wants one of us to stay with her until she falls asleep. After about a month, the Big Girl Fairy has stopped visiting for that, though. She now plans to visit if BG goes to bed by herself, plus she visits for trying new foods.

The Big Girl Fairy also has a sister named the Good Girl Fairy. She brings quarters (and only quarters) for behaving and doing chores. For whatever reason, receiving a quarter from the Big Girl Fairy for picking up her toys and helping out is far preferable to receiving a quarter from me.

I am embarrassed that I’ve had to resort to making up fairies to get Baby Girl to do things/transition to things — especially being someone who was like “nah” on Santa at first — but it is what it is. I think it will be easy to phase out the fairies when they’ve served their purpose, though.

Did any of y’all do crazy stuff to get your kids to be more compliant?


23 Questions With Little Man And Baby Girl

A little over two years ago, I did the 23 Questions survey with Little Man. It’s time to do an updated survey for Little Man and get Baby Girl in on it to see what answers she comes up with to these questions. For the record, Little Man is almost 10 and Baby Girl is 3.


1. What is something mom always says to you?

LM: Cuss words. (Laughs) “Clean up your room!”

BG: “I love you.”

2. What makes mom happy?

LM: Saying cuss words. (Laughs) Cuddling with us, being around me and Baby Girl. 

BG: Hugging.

3. What makes mom sad?

LM: Not saying cuss words. (Laughs) Being around smelly dogs.

BG: Yelling. Ooooh!

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

LM: With your blog and Yo Mama jokes.

BG: Her scares me.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

LM: I have no idea.

BG: Like Bilbo (our dog).

6. How old is your mom?

LM: 34

BG: 12

7. How tall is your mom?

LM: I have no idea.

BG: This big. (She steps on her tip toes and holds up her arms.)

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

LM: Watch TV.

BG: Work.

9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?

LM: Not anything good.

BG: Hop your butt around.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

LM: Being the best mom ever.

BG: Prize.

11. What is your mom really good at?

LM: Being the best mom ever.

BG: Working.

12. What is your mom not very good at?

LM: Being the worst mom ever.

BG: Eating.

13. What does your mom do for a job?

LM: Sit back, relax, and watch TV. (Laughs) You predict the weather and write and get paid.

BG: Work. You do the “ah-ti-cles”

I do write, but I do not predict the weather.

14. What is your mom’s favorite food?

LM: Coke, easily.

BG: French fries.

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

LM: Everything.

BG: Working.

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be?

LM: Godzilla. Because you’re evil and big. Not big in a fat way, but big like big and tall. 

BG: Spiderman.

17. What do you and your mom do together?

LM: Play chess, watch TV, talk. 

BG: Play and puzzles

18. How are you and your mom the same?

LM: In every way except for gender. 

BG: Hugging.

19. How are you and your mom different?

LM: In gender and that’s it. 

BG: (Makes a goofy face)

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

LM: You’re my mother, duh.

BG: You kiss me.

21. What does your mom like most about your dad?

LM: Everything. 

BG: You do something funny

22. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?

LM: Home.

BG: Chuck E. Cheese’s with me.

23. How old was your mom when you were born?

LM: No clue. 

BG: 3

Hello, 2018

My husband thinks I’m weird. Again. Shockingly, after being together for almost 13 years, I can still manage to surprise him with my weirdness. This time it was because I commented, “Thank God, I hate odd-numbered years” after the ball dropped and we welcomed 2018. You’d think that for a guy who gets irritated when he finds out that I stopped pumping my gas at the $12.97 mark instead of the $13.00 mark, that he’d somewhat understand. But  nope.

So that’s how my 2018 started, which was probably better than how we’ve previously rung in the New Year — with drunk people who had access to fireworks, firearms, and Fireball. Yikes. We watched part of the new Dave Chappelle special on Netflix, switched over to watch the ball drop, argued for a few minutes, and then finished the special. Obligatory “we’re officially old” comment. And then my husband turned 40 yesterday, so the oldness is legit on his behalf, and now I’m old by association.

Little Man and I talked about writing down New Year’s resolutions, but we didn’t. Considering that both of us essentially had “be organized and get shit done” as one of our goals (his was phrased less cursey), it appears that we aren’t off to a great start.

I had a few goals last year, some I was successful with and some I wasn’t. The main goals was actually losing more weight, which I did. I was down almost 40 pounds when Thanksgiving rolled around. And then after Thanksgiving, my extended birthday weekend, the cruise, multiple Christmas get-togethers, and my husband’s birthday, it’s more like 35. Now it’s time to get back to it. Another goal was to open an Etsy shop, which I did. I only had a few sales (most of my sales were from my Facebook page), but I was able to check that off at least.

Now for some positives from 2017 that weren’t really goals. I was hired for a new job about a month ago. (And got offered for two others I applied for within the same week, go figure!) Typical work from home content writer, part-time, flexible schedule deal. It’s more hours than the other freelance gigs I’ve had in a while, and I’m still trying to get adjusted to that. I like more hours, but finding the quiet time I need to write has been tough, especially with the kids out of school. Note to self: maybe don’t start a new job during the busiest time of the year.

The positive thing that I’m most excited about from 2017 — I was recommended for cochlear implant surgery and will get implanted this month. The insurance company denied it at first and gave the two most bullshit reasons ever, but after a peer-to-peer with my doctor, they approved it, so yay! The doctor said it isn’t guaranteed to work well and that it could take up to a year to see max benefits, but I’m hopeful. Worst case scenario (assuming I don’t die or get meningitis and then die), is that I lose the residual hearing in that ear and am in about the same place I am now. Best case — through rehab and relearning to hear in that ear, I might get close to normal hearing in that ear. The risk is worth it.

This is a big deal, since it recently hit me how much of a struggle it would be with most traditional jobs (Baby Girl will start kindergarten fall of next year), struggling with using the phone, not being able to hear most conversations with background noise, etc. If the implant works, I’ll have more options as far as job opportunities go, plus it’d be nice not to depend on my husband so much.

So, hello 2018 — bring it on.

Any goals for your year or are you just gonna keep on keepin’ on? 

Creepy Notes

Little Man can be pretty forgetful when it comes to…well, anything, but especially bringing home his homework and important papers. Kids are forgetful. Kids with ADHD are super forgetful. Kids with ADHD that have moms and dads who are scatterbrained as hell are super forgetful times infinity. Science knows this to be true.

So, the boy has a presentation due next month, and his teacher sent out a text message telling the parents to review the rubric. I checked Little Man’s bag, and there was no rubric to be found.

“Where’s the rubric?” I asked.

“What rubric?” he responded.

“The rubric for your project.”

“What proj–oh, I don’t know. Maybe I lost it?”

“Well, maybe you better find it and bring it home tomorrow,” I told him.

“The teacher said if we lost it that we can’t have another one.”

“Find it.”

The next day came, and he didn’t have his rubric, nor did he remember to look for it. The day after, I put a post-it note on his binder reminding him to bring it home. Still, nothing.

“If you don’t look for it tomorrow and ask the teacher about getting another one if you can’t find it,” I told him, “then there’s no screen. At all. Got it?”

Nothing came home and he lost screen. The next two days he was out since we went to Great Wolf Lodge. On the Thursday night before he went back to school, I put more post-it reminders in his bag so that he’d have no excuse of forgetting.

First I put one on his binder. I put another in his folder. Another post-it replaced the bookmark in the book he was reading. Another went in his pencil pouch. Yet another was taped to the handle of his backpack. And the last one was taped to the top of the inside of his lunchbox, so that when he opened it, the note was hanging down in front of his food.

One that didn’t get tossed.

Guess what? The rubric was found and brought home.

“Mom, you know that was kind of creepy,” Little Man told me after coming home. “There was the first note and then the second note, and I found the rubric. But I kept finding more notes as the day went on. The lunchbox not was super creepy. There aren’t anymore notes hidden, are there?”

He did find them all. And now I know what to do when he’s not bringing stuff home and taking stuff from him isn’t working — bombard him with post-it notes. Maybe even rig his sandwich container so that it kind of explodes with a hundred little post-it notes when he opens it. Paint the rock outside the school the post-it orange and put a note on there, too. Or, make a fake tattoo that looks like a post-it with the reminder on it and stick it on his arm. The possibilities are endless.

Praise Zeus

March has been good to us so far. We made it through the first week without anyone getting sick and puking all over or needing a prescription! And my washing machine is no longer running continuously. “Praise Zeus,” as Little Man is fond of saying.


And, yes, I’m knocking on wood. All the wood. Even…nah, I’m not going there.

We have had a super laid back weekend. We took the kids out to dinner and did a little shopping on Friday night, did soccer and a little cleaning on Saturday, and all we have planned for today is taking apart Baby Girl’s crib to give to some relatives. Since she only used the crib a couple of times (she preferred her pack-n-play), I won’t get all weepy. (Although I am still a little annoyed that the adorable owl sheets I bought to match the theme of her nursery were never really used. I’ll get over it when she’s 20.)

In other good news, I had a few necklace orders this week, plus a couple of vinyl decal orders. If things continue being less chaotic, I hope to get more up on Etsy rather than focusing just on Facebook. People apparently love stuff that is pet-related, so that seems like it’d be a good focus once I start focusing. Little Man is making a bunch of necklaces for a festival at his school, and we have to have 50 ready for later this month, so I’ll be making necklaces one way or another. He has Pokemon, Star Wars, My Little Pony, Deadpool, Transformers, and some others.

Some of the necklaces we made last month.

He’s offered to help me with necklaces for my Etsy shop “for a cut of the profit.” (His class has an entrepreneurship theme this year.) I told him we’d talk after he helps me with 50 necklaces, so now he wants his own shop. He is obsessed with all things LEGO and wants to save his money to buy the Millennium Falcon. That thing is expensive — around $120 — so he better make a lot of necklaces.

What’s new with you?