Religious Sweet Creams

I’m sorta reposting today. It’s probably more repurposing, since I’m editing it a bit with some extra comments, but does anyone actually say “repurposing blog posts?” If not, it’s a thing now. I won’t even copyright it. You’re welcome.

This was written a few years ago. 


Last night, my husband and I were talking about Halloween. More specifically, we were talking about candy. I want the good stuff, and he wants whatever is cheapest. He’s like whatever the step up from Ebeneezer Scrooge would be, but for Halloween.

This is still true. We’ve compromised now to where we do a mix of good stuff and cheap stuff. 

Even if I haven’t always gotten into dressing up for Halloween or decorating for Halloween, I’ve always looked forward to handing out candy to kids. We would only get like two or three trick-or-treaters where I lived at growing up (rural area and all), and those were usually relatives. So now that I live in the only neighborhood in the same rural area, I enjoy handing out candy. And I don’t want to give out crappy candy that gets thrown away immediately after kids sort through it all. I also don’t like the idea that someone might come back and TP our yard if we give them a single tiny Tootsie Roll, as Ebeneezer might if I were to leave him in control of the candy. It’s only one night per year and it’s fun! Clearly it’s not a time to go in miser mode.

“Get out your computer and see what kind of deals we can get on bulk candy for Halloween,” he instructed me last night. He figured that if Imitation Chocolate Substance With Possible Traces of Plastic wasn’t going to cut it with me, that we could at least buy the ton that we need online and possibly save money over what we’d pay at the store.

I did my search and found this Christian-themed candy.

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This candy mix is perfect for your church Halloween party! Trunk-or-Treaters love the included Bible Verse Buttermints, Faith Jelly Bean Treat Packets, Tangy Tarts Scripture Candy, Cross-Shaped Swirl Pops, Religious Fish Candy Treat Packets, Carried by the Lord Gummy Fun Packs, Religious Sweet Creams, God Loves Us All Printed Suckers, Tootsie Rolls® and Wonka™ Mix-Ups®. (200 pcs. per unit, 3 lbs.) Assortment may vary.

I laughed so hard while reading this description that I had tears running down my face. I’m a Christian, but absurd stuff like that kills me.

Scripture Candy. Lord Gummy Fun Packs. Testamints. Who’s job is this? I would 100 percent take a job that let me name religious-themed candy. Baptist? You get the “Burn in hell” cinnamon jawbreakers. Catholic? How about y’all get the Everlasting Life Everlasting Gobstopper so someone has something to get through the whole service? Ummm…Methodists get something plain. “We so vanilla” vanilla wafers.

It wasn’t a terrible price, but did lack the Good Candy requirement, so I passed. I’ll probably pick up a dozen bags of whatever good stuff is on sale next week when I’m out by myself. If one of the bags is something he loves, he might just study over the receipt in silence and not even complain. Wouldn’t it be nice?

Bonus

While I’m sort of on the subject of religion, I saw something even more eyebrow raising yesterday evening.

On the way home from retrieving our pizza from Papa John’s, I saw some people standing by the road — almost in it — waving in such a way that it looked like they were trying to flag someone down. Thinking they needed help, I slowed down a bit to check things out, figuring that I’d turn around if it looked like something I could help with, or call 911.

I didn’t turn around.

The people were standing next to a white kidnapper-style van with no windows that had a huge sign that said, “Prayer Drive Thru.”

facepalm

I don’t care who or what you believe in, that’s just creepy.

(I found out later that they were using it as a method of advertising for their church, in case you were concerned that maybe something fishy was going on. There are better ways of doing this, y’all, that doesn’t Killer Clown level creep folks out. Just saying.)

They are still doing this. IN A PANDEMIC. And they are all super old — like 70s and 80s. No masks, either. Someone quoted them on Facebook as saying that if it’s their time, it’s their time. And what better way to go, I guess. SIGH.

I Was Today Years Old When…

Every so often, I’ll see those “I was today years old when I learned ____” memes on Facebook.

Today Years Old - Imgflip

I found this one when Googling for a meme to put here. Count me as being “Today years old” for that, too, because I didn’t know that. And since I went 30ish years thinking that was a toastiness level, I’ll have to make some toast later to confirm.

I started writing this post a few months ago and abandoned it. In that time I’ve learned that my toaster’s numbers are not the length of time something gets toasted. It’s a $10 toaster from Walmart, so maybe my cheap toaster doesn’t work right. How about yours?

I have my share of those “Today I learned” moments. Maybe even more than my fair share.

…I learned how chicken broth works

Several years ago, some ladies at the church I attended asked me to cook a chicken and bring it in the broth to the church for something they were making. So, I googled how long to cook a whole chicken and got the necessary supplies — a whole chicken and a couple containers of broth.

My husband came into the kitchen when I was getting everything together and wanted to know why I had chicken broth.

“They told me to bring the chicken and the broth up there when it was done,” I responded.

“But you don’t need chicken broth when you’re cooking chicken! You cook it in water, and it makes its own broth,” my husband told me.

Lies.

I laughed, because clearly he was full of shit. A chicken doesn’t make its own broth. Right? Broth comes from…well, I didn’t know what it came from exactly, but I knew chicken wasn’t self-producing broth. His way would be a plain old chicken in water. I certainly wouldn’t be drinking that chicken water if I were sick, like I do with actual chicken broth, which is salty and tasty.

We argued a bit and then I texted my stepmom, since she knows almost everything about cooking. (I say “almost” because she rinses her rice and pasta, sigh.) She confirmed that my husband was right and that all I needed to do was bring the chicken and the chicken water to the church.

Michael Scott Mad GIFs | Tenor

So is my bath water actually human stock, then?

…I learned Delaware is a state.

I was supposed to learn all of the states and capitals and label them on a map in 7th grade geography. I don’t remember how I did on that test, but I do remember hating that class and having to put in actual effort to do well in it. I’m assuming that I made a B on that states test, best case scenario.

So, yeah, I learned about Delaware being a state a few years ago. I don’t know how we got on the topic of Delaware, but I asked whether Delaware was in Virginia or Maryland, and my husband totally thought I was pulling his leg. I was not. He was baffled that he married someone who forgot (assuming I ever processed it) that a state was a state.

“But you collected the state quarters!” he said. “How did you not know?!”

“My grandmother collected the quarters and gave them to me. But maybe I knew and forgot. I dunno.”

Delaware STILL does not sound like a state to me.

Also, LM has 7th grade geography now. I told him he better not ask me for help on anything, just go to hisdad.

…I learned the ribbon in the battery compartment is there for a reason.

Some time ago, I noticed that the manufacturers of electronics and toys that required batteries often have ribbons in the battery compartment. This annoyed me, because I had to cram it in after inserting the batteries and it often hung out a little. Why would they waste ribbon by sticking it in a battery compartment of all places?

Eventually, I started cutting the ribbons out and throwing them away. I cut out those ribbons for years until fairly recently, when I learned why those ribbons exist.

I found an old remote control car that belonged to Toddler Little Man in storage and wanted to give it to Baby Girl. I screwed open the compartment and saw that a) I hadn’t removed the old batteries before storing it and b) the batteries had corroded. I groaned and tried to use my screwdriver to pry out the batteries. I couldn’t and was getting a bit frustrated until I saw the ribbon hanging out and had a light bulb moment. Since the ribbon was under the batteries, I could pull on the bit hanging out and hopefully yank the batteries out, so I did. I marveled at my cleverness for a moment until I had a second light bulb moment and realized that must have been the intention of the ribbon all along.

Brooklyn99 B99 GIF - Brooklyn99 B99 CaptainRayHolt - Discover & Share GIFs

…I learned that Wolverine isn’t just a character in X-Men

Surely I’m not alone in this one. This is something I’ve also learned in the past year or two. My husband and I were talking about college football, and I commented that it was odd that Michigan named their college team after an X-Men character. My husband had a WTF look on his face. “They didn’t name it after Wolverine from X-Men. They named it after the animal.”

I laughed at that, because that sounded ridiculous. Imagine — a wolverine animal!

“That’s not an animal,” I told him. “Wolverine is supposed to be like a wolf, but they just made his name sound cool by calling him Wolverine.”

Wolverine GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Another note: I know nothing about X-Men beyond what I’ve watched in the movies. And the ones I’ve watched didn’t address the origin of his name, not that I remember anyway.

“It is so an animal,” my husband said looking at me like I was absolutely insane. “Look it up!”

I rolled my eyes and just knew he was messing with me. What the fuck kind of animal could someone like the ripped Hugh Jackman with the funky hair and admantium claws be based on?

This, apparently:

State warning: That animal killing chickens and rabbits in Anchorage is a wolverine - Anchorage Daily News

Sigh.

What is your “Today I learned…” moment?

Making This Blog Hot Part 2

This is a repost (lightly edited) that I’ll link back to the other repost. Repost inception sorta?


Remember that time I published a post called Making This Blog Hot? You should; it’s one of my more well-liked posts. (This says a lot about you, the readers, that a post poking fun at a list of blog topics is one of my more popular posts.) The last time I covered about half of the list and promised that I’d follow up on that with the last half. In case you aren’t sure where this post is going by now, today I’m doing the follow up.

One of the first suggestions from the second half that caught my eye was Create a post that utilizes a bar chart or pie chartI haven’t really done charts in the almost decade that I’ve been out of college (silently weeping right now), but here:

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Did I just hear a collective groan on that chart? See the second chart, then.

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The slice is to the right of the center at the top, FYI, but due to my shading it’s hard to see.

Moving right along… This idea, though: post linkbait. Why? Why would I post the thing that everyone tries to avoid? Sure, when I was working for one of those websites, I’d post linkbait on my Facebook feed pretty regularly. I don’t mind irritating my family and friends. They have to like me anyway. But y’all? You strangers who choose to read this blog? No, I’m not irritating y’all with that mess. (Unless it’s something super funny. In which case, I’ll make an exception.)

Hold a conference or webinar through blog post. Okay. I kind of did that before with an Ask Me Anything post I ripped off a Not-To-Be-Named poster. I’ll plan on doing that one later this week, on Friday. The three of you who would like to ask me a question may do so starting at 3:23 PM, Eastern Time (better schedule that one now). This is one of the few times in your life you can find out something personal about me that you didn’t already know without reading old posts, or ask for my advice, absolutely free of charge. You may or may not feel enlightened afterwards.

Compile a list of common mistakes in your niche. I have no idea what my mistakes are, and I don’t take kindly to having them pointed out, so no. (Kidding…I know I make mistakes and don’t mind them being pointed out as long as you aren’t incorrectly correcting me. That’s annoying.)

I seriously LOL’d at this one: Abandon your blog for a week and make others think “what happened to you.” It’s pretty risky, but if you are famous blogger – this will get you a lot of buzz. 

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Me, minus the waist, flowy hair, and boxy shoulders.

I promise you, if I up and disappear for a few days or whatever and haven’t said I’m throwing in the towel, it’s because of life. Not because I’m trying to play some Where In The World Is Anxious Mom? game, although that could be pretty fun. You’d be limited to tracking me around rural North and South Carolina, and there would be shots to celebrate any and all progress. Clearly, Baby Girl would be one of the henchmen. #wheresanxiousmom #letsmakethishappen #stopthehashtagmadness

Maybe this one didn’t age well since I have disappeared a couple of times. But not to create buzz. But I always returned! 

Ask some billionaire to write a blog post for you. I’m sure one of y’all won the Powerball last week, so how about writing me a post that includes your full name, Social Security number, mother’s maiden name, and your routing number?

This one I’m tempted to do, except for I think most of y’all would be too chicken to participate: dare your readers to do something. I suck at dares. I used to get wicked ideas for dares when we’d play Truth or Dare at parties and stuff, but then I’d think, “shit, they might get embarrassed and then I’d feel bad…”

The best one from this entire list? Publish a manifesto. How the fuck does someone all anxious and paranoid like me not have a manifesto published by the age of 32? This. Must. Change.

I am now 36 and still have not published a manifesto. Dammit.

Is my blog hotter now?

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Sock It To Me, Baby

Last week I wrote about underwear. This week, I’m writing about socks.

You’re probably thinking one of two things right now: this is turning into the most boring blog in existence or I did not sign up for a fashion blog.

The first part may be true sometimes, but I think BG’s hilariousness helps a bit. The second part — no, you did not, and this will probably be my last post related to what I wear. Unless I decide to write a post about my bras, which are equally unflattering as my granny panties.

I am not someone who dresses up often, and even when I do, that usually looks like “dressy jeans and a comfy blouse.” I don’t really get into fashion and all that and prefer my non fancy jeans and t-shirts, but I have an exception — my socks. I love the hell out of fun socks and have a couple dozen pairs. Even when I dress up a bit, the fun socks are there. (Also on the super rare occasion that I have to wear dress slacks, which was twice in the past year.)

My family knows how much I love socks, so that’s often one of the gifts I get for Christmas or my birthday. One of my favorite brands is Blue Q, as they have the cutest socks with funny phrases. Whatever your personality or interests are, you can find something fun.

I prefer longer socks since they don’t slip under my shoes as much, and I give zero fucks about wearing them in the summer. Zero. Crocs, loafers, sandals, whatever. Back in the day, it was fashionable to wear longer socks and Adidas sandals, so if I bide my time, I’ll be in with the fashion again. (I know this because my dad was shocked when bell-bottom jeans were in style in high school because that was from his generation.) But maybe not with the Crocs, which people love to hate.

Teen Titans Go is the absolute best, and no matter how much hate it gets, I won’t be convinced otherwise.

It’s the God of Thunder! In cutesy form! What’s not to love about that?

Blue Q socks. It has freshly sharpened pencils, y’all. My former teacher self loves these.

And speaking of freshly sharpened pencils, any You’ve Got Mail fans here? Remember when Joe says he’d send Kathleen bouquets of freshly sharpened pencils? The bouquet of freshly sharpened pencils hit my soul, and I’m disappointed my husband never made one for me.

And I Don't Think I'm Alone In This, Especially Among Readers. We Love Nora  Ephr... | Gfycat

Also Blue Q. And have been worn so much that I’ll probably have to toss them soon. I strive to be punctual and would never be less than 10 minutes early for an appointment or whatever if I could help it. My husband and son are basically villains in my world of punctuality and always make me late, so these socks are accurate.

These were a part of a big back of DC socks. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc. The major heroes and villains were all represented.

Another pair of Blue Q.

Not represented are my Star Wars socks. Six pics seemed like enough, plus my favs are in the wash.

Here are a pair of socks I really, really want but won’t get because they have “fuck” on them. I mutter that word under my breath a lot, but the girl hasn’t picked up on it yet, and I’d like to keep it that way because she absolutely will repeat it at school.

These are pretty cool, too.

Do you like fun socks?

Making This Blog Hot

Last week, we discussed making money and blogging. Today, I’m going to teach you about what your blog is REALLY lacking.

It’s hotness.

The office mindy kaling kelly kapoor GIF on GIFER - by Bann

I’m Erika, The Blog Bitch.

So, about five years ago, I was stuck in a writing rut and decided to get help from Google. I came across a website with an article called 101 Blog Post Ideas That Will Make Your Blog “Hot.” 

Hell yes. Hotness is just what this blog has been lacking.

I scrolled through the list and came across some interesting things, like Host a giveaway. Interesting, but what the fuck would I give away? Lord of the Rings toys? Dirty diapers? The right to name my next child (even though a third child isn’t happening)?

On to another idea. Criticize a website/blog or a person. Oooh, yes, I could have my own Burn Book type post and talk shit about all of my fellow bloggers.

tumblr_mdwkwernis1rla5a5o2_500“Fuck John for not telling me more about his swagger.” Or “To hell with NotAPunkRocker for skipping Christmas cards.” Or maybe “Damn that NerdInTheBrain and her gratitude.”

[None of these amazing posters are still blogging as far as I know. 😦 ]

Eh, maybe not. I’m not a fan of people hating me.

Number 9 is Tell a personal secret. Is there anything I haven’t overshared on already, though? Then there is Bust a myth. Is this kind of like Bust-A-Move? (Fun fact: my husband clued me in on the fact that one of my favorite arcade games shares the same name as a song.) Myth busting seems like it would take more effort than trying to come up with a legit blog post, though. And more than likely, Snopes has already got to it

Number 34 is Start a poll. I’ve never done a poll on this blog before, so there’s no time like the present, right?

That doesn’t really make for much of a post, though, does it? I suppose I could discuss my leg shaving habits in a post of its own and have the poll and all, but I kinda doubt anyone would want to read that.

Directly after that is #35 Write a post about things you regret doing/not doing. Um, no. I’m not trying to add to the depression. Maybe I’ll hit that up in January.

Halfway through the list is #51 Create a blog post about your bad habits – Smoking, alcohol, drugs. Tell them something shocking!

Dafuq? That’s just a little too much enthusiasm for someone else’s struggles, person who created that list! And I’m stopping at that one. I now have something resembling a blog post put together, plus I want to save the other half of this list for tomorrow or another day this month when I can’t come up with much of anything to write.

Looking at numbers 1 through 51 on that list only, which is your favorite? Anything you’re likely to use? Maybe the Publish your CV online suggestion?


I may post Part 2 on Friday.

Good Night, Sleep Tight…

Yesterday, I published a post about underwear.

I’ve been blogging for six years now, yet I found myself writing about underwear. And not even good underwear. Not sexy underwear, not underwear with cool characters on them. Granny panties is what y’all got.

Is this what rock bottom feels like?

Just kidding, of course. Writing is writing, right?

Okay, maybe no more underwear talk this week. I’ll save my bra post for next week.

The boy gave me a good laugh today. We were talking about how things have changed since the pandemic, and he commented on not staying overnight with my dad.

“I miss staying over, but it’s probably for the best,” Little Man said. I nodded in agreement, since the closer we get to the election, the nuttier my dad usually gets.

That wasn’t LM’s reason why, though.

“His bedbugs creep me out.”

I laughed. “What?”

“You know…his bedbugs. He has bedbugs, and it just weirds me out to think about them crawling all over me.”

I laughed. If my stepmom had bedbugs in her home, I’d know about it, and the house would probably be burned down.

“Papa told me. Remember? It was a long time ago, back at his old house, when he told me they had bedbugs.”

Oh yeah!

I remembered then. Little Man was 4 or 5, and my dad had done the whole “Good night, sleep tight, don’t let the bedbugs bite” bit with LM. LM took it seriously, though, so he told his Sunday school class the next morning that his grandparents had bedbugs. When they brought him home from church, we were eating supper, and LM started talking about the bugs. “I told my teacher about your bedbugs!”

“What?! I don’t have bedbugs!” my stepmom exclaimed.

“Yes, you do!” LM replied. “Papa says so!” The look on my poor stepmom’s face at the thought that the church thinks she has bedbugs.

We all had a good laugh over it, and my stepmom said she’d make sure his teacher knew there weren’t any bed bugs. Well, somehow in our laughter, it appears that no one explained the nursery rhyme and that LM still thought they had bugs.

“There were no bedbugs, LM! It was just a rhyme” I told him.

“Yes there are! I don’t feel them crawling on me at night, but I know they’re there.”

Lawdamercyjesus.

I made it crystal clear this time that the bedbugs thing is just a fun little rhyme and does not indicate an infestation. Hopefully the next time he sleeps over, he’ll be more comfortable.

Hey, Underoos

I’m writing this post because it is something y’all really need to know.

Like, really need to know.

The last time I bought new underwear was sometime before Baby Girl was born. I’m not sure exactly when, but she’s 6 now, so it’s been a while. I’m really picky about underwear. You’d think maybe most women are, but the uncovered elastic waistband seems to dominate the underwear market, so y’all can’t be that picky because that uncovered elastic is the devil.

Underoos - Imgflip

(Speaking of devils, LM offered to make BG a PB&J last week, and she declined because “he makes the devil PB&Js with crunchy peanut butter and strawberry jelly.” I had never heard of Devil PB&Js, but okay. If we can have Jesus Chicken aka Chick-Fil-A, then we can definitely have Devil PB&Js.)

So, a decade ago I found the perfect underwear. Hanes ComfortSoft waistband boyshorts for women. 100% cotton, no polyester blend. They didn’t ride up, they were super comfortable, and THE BAND WAS ENCASED IN COTTON. Plus they were tagless, which wasn’t standard in underwear for us peasant folk back then. And then Hanes discontinued them, as people apparently don’t like comfort, but I lucked out and found a few unopened packs on eBay in my size sometime before the girl was born. Ever since that day I’ve prayed to the underwear gods for Hanes to bring back my underwear.

Six years is a long time. I had a lot of undies since I got those packs on eBay, but that shit didn’t last forever. My undies stopped holding things in place and got some holes. (One pair with a hole in the crotch may have made an appearance at my full-body exam with the dermatologist. When they said “full body,” I was thinking “full body like at the GYN, where I wear nothing under a gown.” And then they said keep my underwear on. Fuuuuck. For once in my life, I’d have preferred less coverage.)

I started my underwear search, but the underwear gods hadn’t listened and reintroduced my brand, so I had to look elsewhere. A couple weeks ago, I hit up Amazon, determined to find some underwear that were comparable to my old ones. That was not an easy task. One package looked good, but no, it was a polyester blend. One package was perfect, but wait, not my size. Another package looked promising only to zoom in on the elastic band and see that it wasn’t covered. Devils. I looked and looked and looked and finally found something that checked off every box except for “boyshorts.”

Granny panties, y’all. I got granny panties.

And they are comfortable as hell. They don’t ride up, they have a comfortable waistband, they have a bit of tummy control. They’re some random ass brand, too, but they had great ratings on Amazon, so for $25 I gave them a try, and it was worth it.

Once they arrived, I threw out the underwear that had potential to embarrass me if I either a) wore them to another doctor appointment or b) got in a wreck and had to have my underwear cut off. Seriously, my grandma was always talking about how important it is to wear clean underwear that are in good repair when leaving the house. Because if you have a wreck, they might see your underwear, and…well, she didn’t really follow up with anything, but one can only assume that they’d open the back of the ambulance and kick out the gurney holding the person with the poor underwear.

I had another thought about my grandmother when I was tossing the undies. You see, she never tossed my holey underwear. Oh, no. She kept them.

Now you’re probably thinking, “WTF, Grandma?!”

She grew up during the Great Depression and was the type who didn’t like to throw away anything, and that meant keeping my old cotton underwear to use as rags for dusting. (Hers were silky undies, so they weren’t dust cloth material.) As it turns out, teenage girls aren’t fans of their grandmas keeping their old holey underwear lying around to use for cleaning. Seriously, when she dusted, sometimes she’d do a bit and stop. And the next thing you know, one of my friends was dropping by and there sat my raggedy underwear on one of the decorative tables.

Fuck Me Masterchef GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

That was very good motivation to make sure I beat her to dusting.

She still had some of my old underwear in her cleaning cabinet when she died. So, with a dozen family members in the house going through my grandmother’s things, my dad managed to find my old underwear, hold them up for all to see, and ask if I wanted to keep them.

I Will Kill You GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY

Do you feel like you know enough about me and my undies by now? Too much, perhaps?

Making Money and Having Fun

This title sounds like I’m gonna try to peddle some makeup and essential oils, doesn’t it?

Oops.

No pyramid schemes here. I promise.

Pin by Amanda on The Office | The office show, Office jokes ...

I was browsing Pinterest for blog topic ideas when I saw this:

Those are not the droids topics I was looking for. But let’s take a look anyway, shall we?

#2 – Video games

I could definitely write a post or two about playing video games. I could write about how I used to love playing on my Playstation and how excited I was to get my PS4, only for a child to basically take it over. That child hasn’t been disowned yet, but he is saving money to buy a PS5, and I plan to get revenge when he does.

#4 – Workout

Lmao. That is all.

#32 – Music

I have eyes, well ears, for one band mostly. Y’all know who it is by now, and I don’t think writing a bunch of posts on that band would go over too well, let alone make me any money. Here’s a very different song that you may enjoy if you give it a listen.

#34 – Blogging

Raise your hand if you want to take blogging advice from someone who posts inconsistently and hasn’t made enough to pay for so much as her domain. No? I guess I don’t have much advice to offer about blogging and making money, then, unless you want to know how to use WordPress in general. I’ll toot my own horn on that one — I’ve used the platform for writing jobs and to create websites, so I’m good with it. But there still isn’t enough to write about and make it rain because shame.

#42 – Weight loss

Again, lol.

Really, though, keto works fantastically well. If you can stick with it.

#43 – Weight gain

If you don’t stick with keto, then it’s easy to do this. I’m sure I could blog a food diary that demonstrates how to gain weight, but that’s not how I want to make a buck.

#81 – Bikes

Oh boy. I can definitely write about bikes, but not in a “this is my hobby, here are some awesome bikes to choose from, trails and water bottles” way. Here’s what I have to say about bikes — first, please wear a reflective vest when you’re riding on the road so I don’t run over you. (These curvy country roads are the worst, y’all.) Second, one of the great injuries of my adulthood came at the hands of a bike. I bought a bike for exercise, my husband said it was a bad idea, and then I had drinks with friends and rode the bike around and boom, injury. I could also write a lot about the curse words I said during that injury.

#100 – Movies

Let’s see. I love to rewatch all of the MCU, Star Wars, X-Men, and Lord of the Rings movies at any time. I could probably write endlessly about those movies, and it would bore people to death and drive them away from my blog, so I probably won’t do that.

#104 – Religion 

There is a lot I can say about religion. There are thoughts in general, fun and not-so-fun stories from growing up, making fun of certain things. It probably has the most potential out of the topics on that graphic. But, no, I don’t think I will.

No, I Don't Think I Will | Know Your Meme

My idea for a blog — conspiracy blog. People eat that shit up, and it’d be a lot of fun to make up stuff to screw with people. Plus creative writing. Maybe I could slip in some stuff that would be helpful, like “the deep state really doesn’t want you to wear masks,” so then they would. Oooh. Throw ads on there to monetize and double oooh.

What would you add to the list?