It’s Christmas!

All the presents are wrapped. All of the presents my husband went out and bought because he temporarily lost his mind and decided that everyone need just a little something extra to go with the gifts we already had are wrapped. The stockings are hung and the stocking holders are duct-taped to the mantle because I bought heavy things to go in them. Little Man’s plot to booby trap Santa has been foiled (he didn’t get to sleep on the couch, so he wasn’t alerted by the jingle bells that he sneaked into the stockings).

We’re done for the night.

Unless Baby Girl wakes up at 2:00 again asking for a bottle. (Yes, she’s back on the nightly bottle after getting sick because that’s the only way we could get fluids in her, so now we’ve gotta go through the painful process of taking it again…after Christmas.) Fingers are crossed that won’t happen since she had a busy day and no nap. If she does, we’ll haul her into “the big bed” as she calls it and hope she sleeps.

I stayed home all day, doing more cooking and cleaning, while Sam took the kids to a birthday party. I made a turkey breast in the crockpot (and it was heavenly and juicy), mashed potatoes, lima beans, a baked potato for me, corn on the cob, and biscuits. We used the nice plates and silverware we got as wedding gifts, and LM expressed shock over the fact that we owned such fancy things. The meal was followed by chocolate cake. It was all so good, and even Baby Girl ate more than just her cheesey roll up.

Afterwards we decorated our salt dough ornaments and opened gifts left from Rufus (our elf). They loved the new jammies and books. Then they opened one gift each from us, plus LM gave his dad and me our gifts. (He gave me Kylo Ren and Rey action figures; his dad got a socket wrench set.)

While Sam and I were busy cleaning the kitchen, we heard the distinct sound of paper being torn and found Baby Girl busy opening more presents. We told her not to do it, and went back into the kitchen where I watched her watch me from the corner of her eye, give me a devilish grin, and sprint back to the tree to finish her business. So, the kids also got to finish opening a carry along Lego case each since BG started each of them.

Eventually we got them into their jammies, brushed their teeth, made sure Santa had his goodies (Little Man left a letter with the goodies admonishing him for not bringing his dog a gift last year and asking for one this year), and read The Night Before Christmas.

I like how we’ve settled into our own family tradition now. It’s nice going to visit family for Christmas (well, sometimes it’s maddening, but mostly nice), but I like having our own Anxious Family thing. Christmas Eve dinner, dessert, crafts, a movie if we have time, open a present, read the book. It feels special to have our own little thing now.

It’s now officially Christmas Day in my neck of the woods, so Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, y’all.


Don’t Be Hating On My Elf

I know lots and lots of people loathe the Elf on the Shelf. Partly because he looks creepy, partly because they don’t like the idea of bullshitting your kids with a stalker (or maybe an assassin) sent on Santa’s behalf to watch every little thing they do. Also partly because it does involve some effort, and some of us parents don’t have time for more effort on top of the shitty effort we’re already making.


We do Elf on the Shelf in our house. It’s one of our traditions now, since my stepmom bought it for us. We half considered getting a girl elf for Norah, but those things cost too much. “It’s only $35, is that the price you want to say is too much to ensure years of holiday fun for your kids?” Yep. Unless Sam caves with Baby Girl, Rufus is flying solo again this year.

Last year was the most successful Elf on the Shelf year, as we were able to convince Little Man 35 times that Santa was skipping his house for being naughty. No, I’m kidding — we don’t do the Elf thing that way. No lists, no reports, etc., but he does sometimes leave notes, small gifts, candy. Little Man loves it and has a blast with it, and I’m sure Baby Girl will too, since she’s getting into that stuff more now. Really though, last year was the most successful year because I moved the elf more times than I didn’t move him. That’s improvement, especially considering that he sat on a shelf where we hang up our keys for about 9 days one year. We had to convince Little Man that no, Rufus wasn’t dead, but that he just really liked that spot.

Now that all that info is out of the way, I’d like to announce that our elf, Rufus, has returned.

We have two versions of how Rufus returned– a kid friendly version and a not kid friendly version. Let me know which one you preferred.


For the kids (their names were blurred out.)


Not for the kids.

Here’s where y’all come in. If you’ve got any funny ideas for Elf on the Shelf, I want them. We’ve got a list for adult fun and kid fun, but I’m sure y’all could come up with an interesting idea or three. Whoever submits the best thing will lots of Internet points that can be redeemed for pretty much nothing, but it’s the thought that counts.

Let the hatin’ begin.

Things Kids Say Thursday: Gobble-Gobble

Baby Girl has really gotten into the holidays/special events. She regularly throws us all birthday parties with a toy cake set and sings Happy Birthday to us, loved Halloween and talks about going trick-or-treating again, and gets excited over seeing Christmas trees. She’s even excited about Thanksgiving and has been bringing home crafts from preschool that she’s super proud of.

After doing all the baking and watching A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving last night, I got out some construction paper so the kids could make hand print turkeys. Baby Girl has already done quite a bit of hand print stuff at preschool, but Little Man has done nothing, and it won’t be long before gets too old to want to do hand print crafts.

The hand print turkey making went just fine, aside from Baby Girl repeatedly trying to reach over and color her brother’s turkey. When we finished up, BG wanted to go show hers to her daddy. She walked proudly into the kitchen with a huge smile on her face.

“Daddy, look what I did! Look at my chicken.” Wrong bird, BG, we aren’t deep frying any chickens this week — we’ll save those artery cloggers for the rest of the time.

“Oh, that’s beautiful!” Sam said. “Your turkey looks great.”

She gave him a look. “That not a turkey. It’s a chicken. It say ‘gobble-gobble.'”

“Chickens say ‘buck-buck-buck’ and turkeys says ‘gobble-gobble,” Sam told her.

“That MY chicken and it say ‘gobble-gobble.'”

We’ve learned that there’s no arguing with her (or teaching her) when she goes into “That MY ____” mode.

“Okay…that’s your chicken,” Sam said. “It’s beautiful!”

Happy Chicken Day, folks 😉

Poof, A Blog Post

“I’m going to sit here until I write a blog post,” I announced to my husband. Not that he was paying attention or really cared about me writing a post for a blog that he doesn’t read, but I felt like if I said it that I’d actually do it. So, this is me doing it. If only losing weight were as easy. “I’m gonna lose five pounds!” and poof, it’s gone.

I haven’t been so good with the blog writing lately. I feel like I keep saying that (or maybe I just keep writing that in drafts that I delete). At any rate, this hasn’t been the most productive few months as far as blogging goes. At the end of summer, I thought that I’d be writing a lot once school started back. That was true for about a month, but then I began slacking off again. Well, some of it was slacking off (or getting busy with all the things) and some of it has been a tired brain that has been lacking decent topics.

This is such a fun time of year, but so, so busy. Y’all know how it is. I’ve got most of the Christmas shopping done at least, all online, which is pissing off our mail lady. We got a mailer from the Post Office encouraging people to use the USPS to ship their Christmas stuff this week, delivered by her. I’ll take the complaints over having to actually go out to the mall or go, God forbid, Black Friday shopping at Walmart. What little I haven’t taken care of I plan to make…hopefully. (In about a week, expect a post on how I screwed up necklace making and woodburning.)

Today I had to go get my hearing aids fixed and then go by the DMV to get my license renewed. This time I don’t look high in my picture, but I do have the serial killer look going on and am not looking at the camera. The lady took so long and I looked at my husband with a “WTF is going on?” look on my face. Yay. At least I didn’t let my license expire, though, so it’s a win in my book. (And, nope, I’m not sharing the picture.)

Who’s ready for Thanksgiving? We’ve got three Thanksgivings to go to tomorrow (everyone lives less than 15 minutes away, thankfully!), and I’m cooking for all three. I’m making peanut butter pies, sweet potato pies, chocolate eclair cake, macaroni and cheese, corn, and cornbread. Sugar, carbs, and butter FTW!


In the week after Thanksgiving, we’ve got Little Man’s All Star games (send some positive vibes his way, as his ADHD has been in full swing and he’s back to playing in the dirt, which will certain impact how much playing time he gets), my birthday, Christmas decorating, a therapy appointment, and our Tacky Christmas Party. I’ve got a lot of cleaning to do, plus I need to make my and Sam’s sweaters. I’m thinking I’m gonna be snarky and make a “Make Christmas Great Again” sweater.

Busy, but fun times.

This is good enough to qualify as a blog post, so I’m wrapping it up. Maybe next time I’ll have a post post and not just a recap of the week post. Smart money says probably not, though.

By the way, I wrote a guest post on my friend Matty’s blog, Confessions (so we can partially blame him for my lack of posting 😉 ). It’s part of his Finding Out Who We Are series. He’s a great guy — check out the post and website and give him a follow if you haven’t!

Happy Thanksgiving!

How’s it going for you guys? Are you ready for the holidays (or maybe you’re over them already)?

The Madness Is Over

Whew, Christmas is over! I feel like I’ve run a marathon, except for not burning any calories. And other things. We had a very nice Christmas, but it was tiring!

If you’re a parent, does it look like your home has been hit by a toy tornado? All the clutter. Gah. We did a few gifts each for the kids, so with the exception of a couple items, their stuff was in their room by the time we had brunch. But then they got gifts at my dad’s (which was the equivalence of three of our Christmases) and Sam’s mom’s house. So now the living room looks like a toy store puked its guts out because there is so much. I’m keeping my mouth shut about the mess until Monday, though, and then the cleaning/organizing will commence.

Come on, Monday! And on Monday, the Christmas tree and few decorations inside will come down! I’m like a post-Christmas Grinch who absolutely relishes in taking all that shit down and shoving it back in boxes and making my house look like Christmas never happened. (Except for that one fucking snow globe I always forget and end up leaving displayed throughout the year.)

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So, like I said, this Christmas was a good one. We did a lot of the things on my How I’m Gonna Make Christmas Perfect list. We didn’t watch all the movies, do crafts, or decorate outside. But we did a lot. More than usual, anyway. The kids saw Santa, we watched a few movies, there was hot cocoa, we went to see a light show, plus other things I’m probably forgetting — it was all a lot of fun for the kiddos.

Now that I’ve got the niceties out of the way, I’m going to grumble a bit and offer you some advice.

First, never decide to host two Christmas things back to back. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. On Thursday, I was cleaning my house (which included cleaning the floors four different ways because OCD), wrapping gifts, preparing food for the Christmas Eve feast (and I forgot to include anything that I actually eat other than biscuits or ham in my menu, which sucked), making my dessert for the Christmas Day thing at my mother-in-law’s, and getting food ready for the Christmas Day brunch I was having, all the while going back and forth with my father on why I wouldn’t expand the guest list for brunch to 20 fucking people.

That was too much. Way too much. Maybe next time I’ll listen when I’m advised not to put too much pressure on myself. I’m glad that I didn’t fall apart as I usually do at least!

My second piece of advice — don’t buy your kids gifts that require a lot of putting together. Or at least don’t wait until the last minute to start the putting together. The words “I’m going to write a scathing review!” were uttered more than once. We were up until 3AM putting together Baby Girl’s coupe, her little house, and Little Man’s drum set. We’ve been doing this parent thing for eight Christmases now. You’d think we wouldn’t be making such rookie moves at this point!

Now that the grumbling is out of the way, I’ll say that everyone enjoyed the food at both of my things, the kids loved their Christmas gifts, Sam gave me the most thoughtful present ever (a charm bracelet with all of our babies’ names and birthstones), and things went okay at my Dad’s house and great at my mother-in-law’s. Little Man called it “the best Christmas ever.” 

How was your Christmas/holiday?