It’s Hard Out Here For An Elf

So, I’ve been doing the Elf on the Shelf thing the entire month of December. Or nine days. In this time, I’ve only forgotten to move Rufus twice. (That’s approximately an 80 percent success rate!) I had to tell my husband to move the elf while in the car rider yesterday, but we’re getting there.

Of course, there was the time I hid him too good and Little Man’s Christmas spirit almost disappeared, but hey, I still moved the little fucker. Not my fault if the kid can’t find him.

My husband has been questioning my elf placing methods, though.

You see, some people do a great job with elf placement. They come up with clever things for the elf to do or place them in places/positions that one’s spouse wouldn’t question.

Not me.

Not Pinterest approved elf placement.

At first glance, it may appear that the elf is being tortured. But that is what my husband  thought. “Oh my god, that looks awful!” he said. The elf is, after all, hanging upside down from a blind cord with his hands bound. But that’s not what’s happening. The Anxious Household isn’t the Guantánamo Bay for terrorist elves. In fact, what’s happening here is that Rufus is delivering a sweet note to Little Man. As for being bound? Like I said, I’m shitty at elf placement.

I’ve been reading StomperDad’s Daily Elf post each day and last night, I decided to copy him. He did one where his elves TP’d the house. Here’s my version where I TP’d a section of the Christmas tree (only a section because a) I don’t want to clean up later and b) I bought GOOD toilet paper this week, not the cheap shit): 

“That doesn’t look right,” Sam told me after I invited him to check out my work. “Why is he stuck in that tube like that? It looks like he’s being tortured!”

Clearly the theme for the elf will be torture. Maybe I’ll connect Rufus to the car battery for my next act.


Weekend Coffee Share: The Fourth, A Movie, And Family Pics

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Hello friends, it’s that time again–our weekly coffee date. Or our weekly “E gets a hot chocolate from Starbucks and pretends it’s coffee to look more sophisticated while the other people drink their coffee like a normal person” date.

So, if we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’m soooo glad the Fourth of July is over. I’m not a big fan of holidays, especially ones that require you to either a) spend large sums of money to show your love or b) shoot off fireworks that have me anxious as hell. It’s okay if I can expect the booms, but when several folks are shooting them off at random in the neighborhood…yikes. Especially the ones that are high pitched…just why?!

Despite the fireworks, it was a nice Fourth. My husband’s folks called to have us over to grill out for a late lunch. His cousin and her family was there, and we had steaks, potatoes, fresh corn on the cob (the best thing ever), and salad. I was given a fair amount of hell for my salad. Since my MIL knows I’m picky, she announced she was setting aside a “bowl of lettuce” for me, as she was making a salad with a lot of things in it that I don’t like. Everyone found the sad bowl of lettuce hilarious. (I did add a sprinkling of cheese and bacon bits to it, but it was still referred to as “E’s bowl of lettuce, lol.”)

After we left the MIL’s house, I took Little Man to the movies to see “Inside Out.”


Have any of y’all seen that movie? If so, what’d you think? LM and I both were torn. LM liked the movie, but thought it was very sad throughout. I also thought it was rather depressing, although I thought it was cool how it taught how memories are stored and how certain events can shape ones personality and so on. I’m not sure if it’s one I’d want to watch it again though just because of how depressing it felt overall. Don’t be a buzzkill, Disney!!!

I’d also tell you that we got our pictures made today, both the family picture and Baby Girl’s one-year photo. That went well. My kids are gorgeous and thus make gorgeous pics (nope, not bragging at all heehee). Check out a few below (I’ll remove later since I don’t like leaving personal pics up for long):

Another family was getting pictures made and had a boy and girl close to our kids ages. We let BG crawl around and she was “playing” with the other baby, who looked to be about 18 months old but was only 10 months old. Likewise, the other family was surprised that BG was one and thought she was 9 months old.

Anyway, the little dude crawled up and kinda situated himself on BG’s lap. She promptly shoved him the hell off. He crawled back, and she smacked him in the head and shoved him off again. After we got out to the car, Sam was bragging about how his daughter “doesn’t take crap off anybody, even babies twice her size.” Oh lord!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now.

So tell me, how was your week? Did you have a great Fourth? 

My First Grader is a Valentine’s Day Card Maker Pro

One of my favorite things about Little Man in his way with words. He tends to say exactly what is on his mind and doesn’t have much of a filter. He is very literal, so sometimes the things he says can come off as being a bit rude, but don’t usually mean to be (I don’t think), as he is a very thoughtful and tender-hearted kid. As such, it’s always fun to see what he comes up with when he has to write a letter or card.

He fixed up cards for his classmates and teachers tonight to take for their party tomorrow. I had a tough time keeping a straight face when I saw the one he did for his teacher:

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Recalling My First Horrifying, Yet Sweet, Valentine’s Day

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It was close to a year from the time that S. and I started dating before Valentine’s Day happened. I wasn’t really sure what to expect from him, since had both talked about our dislike for the holidays being so commercialized and for the suggestion that love is tied to money.

On Valentine’s Day, I came home from school (I was a junior in college at the time) and went to my room after chatting briefly with my grandmother (who I lived with). I stood over my computer desk to reach down and turn the tower on, and when I stood up, I noticed someone coming out of my closet out the corner of my eye.

Before I could register who it was, I let out a blood-curdling scream. Then I saw who it was–S. was standing there with flowers. He looked horrified.

“That wasn’t the reaction I was hoping for he said,” handing me the flowers. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Ah, thanks,” I said, rather embarrassed. But then again, what young woman wouldn’t be freaked out when she notices a man coming out of her closet?

My grandmother popped in about that time, laughing. “I knew that’s what was going when you said you wanted to hide in her closet and surprise her, S!” she said.

“Well, why didn’t you say that?” S asked.

“Because I thought it would be funny,” my grandmother replied, causing us to laugh as well. She left the room after that to let us be alone.

“Here,” S said to me, thrusting a gift bag in my hand. I opened the bag and found some chocolate, a Lord of the Rings figure, and a card that S had made for me. That might sound corny, but it was really sweet and basically said that he couldn’t wait to see me in my wedding dress (even though he hadn’t yet proposed–that wouldn’t come for a few more months).

So, that was my first time really celebrating Valentine’s Day. We don’t usually do anything now, outside of buying some chocolate on sale the day after, plus going out to eat by ourselves sometime during the month of February.

When I was picking up some stuff for Little Man to take to school for their Valentine’s Day party tomorrow, I did find a pretty cool card. So I bought it for myself.