What’s Your Score?

Just for fun —

Saw this on Facebook and had to do it, of course. First it’s a Facebook quiz of sorts and second it’s related to picky eating, which y’all know I’m all about.

My eye twitched a little bit at the spelling of lettuce.

Out of 66 food items, I won’t eat 33. Fifty percent — kind of a high number when you’re the person in the group who sometimes orders chicken nuggets off the kid menu when we go anywhere that isn’t pizza or steak. And I think ham, pork, and bacon being three separate items was kinda bullshit.

So, what’s your score?

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Things Kids Say Thursday: God And Weezer

Like his dad, Little Man loves to sing, so you can often hear him singing the chorus to anything from a Katy Perry song to a Queen song. One of his favorite bands is Weezer, which I’ve written about this before in a post that talked about a time he embarrassed me by singing a rather inappropriate Weezer song in public.

While looking at my “On This Day” posts on Facebook, I came across this post Sam tagged me in three years ago, where Little Man ties God and Weezer together quite nicely (or blasphemously, depending on your beliefs):

That’s right, Big G — you do the things you wanna do.

Things Kids Say Thursday: Busted

Like most kids nowadays, Little Man has an iPad Mini that he uses to play games, make videos, and send everyone messages. Usually he’s pretty good about putting it away when I tell him to, even if I do have to hear a bit of groaning about how he had almost beaten a certain level on one of his games. (I’ll refrain from calling bullshit on my own kid for not leveling up only because of his mom.)

So, yeah, he is usually good at putting the tablet away when it’s time. Usually.

One thing our family (minus Baby Girl) likes to do is play the game Clash of Clans. For those of you not in the know, that is a war app available on Apple and Android devices. It’s a lot of fun and insanely addictive — won’t you please join our clan?

Message LM sent my friend in an attempt to recruit her for our clan. His part is in blue.

We are all in the same clan and have fun upgrading our bases and sending each other troops. Little Man has been obsessed with it lately, even more so than I have been, which is really saying something. He’s constantly worried about who is going to attack his base and how much loot will be stolen, but that’s just how it goes in these games.

Anyway, the other night I told him to lay down while I rocked his sister. He gets 15 minutes to read in bed, which has mostly been comic books lately, and then it’s lights out. I put her down and his light was out, so I assumed he was asleep. I messed around for a bit, then pulled up the Clash of Clans game on my phone. I saw that LM had asked a question about our clan going to war, so I responded, figuring he’d see it the next afternoon.

One minute later, I get a notification that someone had posted in the chat box.

It was Little Man responding “Okay” after I told him we didn’t have enough people to go to war. 
“Hey, I just got a message from Little Man,” I told Sam. “But you don’t have his tablet out, do you?”

“No,” Sam said, looking equally confused.

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And then we got it.

“He wouldn’t!” I said to Sam. “He knows better!”

“Looks like he did.”

We dashed to Little Man’s room, where we found him with the covers pulled over his head playing on his tablet.

“Well, guys, I think I have enough troops to attack now,” we were informed upon entering the room. It was like he had no clue that we were going to be less than pleased with him, which made the situation the kind of funny where you can’t laugh in front of the kid, but laugh later.

I sat down on the edge of his bed. “Too bad those troops aren’t gonna get to come out and fight anytime soon, since you decided to take your tablet to bed! You’re supposed to be sleeping!”

He poked his head out from the covers. “Oh, yeah, I forgot.”

“You forgot that you were supposed to go to sleep and not turn on your tablet?” I asked.

LM looked rather sheepish. “Well, sorta. I’m sorry; I won’t do that again.”

“You definitely won’t.” I took the tablet away and kissed him goodnight. On the way out, Little Man called out, “Can you check my clan, yo?”

Kids.

Hopefully LM has now learned his lesson not to chat in the game with his mom when he’s supposed to be sleeping. And I’ve learned to confiscate the tablet before he goes to bed.

It’s Fine Time

If you’ve ever had an account on Facebook or MySpace, then you probably remember that “What’s Your Fine?” game. For those of you who never wasted much time on those sites (or aren’t friends with people who share silly crap), it’s where you’re given a list of “crimes” and the fines that goes along with them. You add up your crimes and post the fine total.

I don’t think I ever shared one of those, mainly because most of my friends list consists of family members and church people, plus a couple of preachers. Plus you’d risk facing the wrath of my husband’s sweet great aunt. One time I posted a recipe for a yummy cocktail and she told me that I should be ashamed of myself and implied that I was going to hell. She didn’t seem so sweet after that. I later found out that she spent much of her free time shaming various family members via social media, so it wasn’t just me at least. I can’t speak for the others, but my husband and I were relieved when the option to hide statuses from people came along.

Anyway, here’s the Fine Game, since I know you’re dying for me to cut to the chase so you can find out just how bad you are.

You don’t have to confess your answers, just the amount of your fine.

NOTE fines to be added once, not for how ever many times you have done it.

Smoked weed — $10

Did acid or pills — $5

Ever had sex at church — $25

Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40

Had sex with someone on MySpace/Facebook/Bebo etc — $25

Had sex for money — $100

Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican — $20

Vandalized something — $20

Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10

Beat up someone — $20

Been jumped — $10

Cross dressed — $10

Given money to stripper — $25

Been in love with a stripper — $20

Kissed someone who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10

Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15

Ever drive and drank — $20

Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50

Used toys while having sex — $30

Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20

Went skinny dipping — $5

Had sex in a pool — $20

Kissed someone of the same sex — $10

Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20

Cheated on your significant other — $10

Masturbated — $10

Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20

Done oral — $5

Got oral — $5

Done / got oral in a vehicle while it was moving — $25

Stole something — $10

Had sex with someone in jail — $25

Made a nasty home video or took pictures — $15

Had a threesome — $50

Had sex in public — $20

Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25

Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20

Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20

Had sex with someone under the age accepted by rule of thumb (half your age plus 7) — $25

Been in love with two people or more at the same time– $50

Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25

Went streaking — $5

Went streaking in broad daylight — $15

Been arrested — $5

Spent time in jail — $15

Pissed in the pool — $0.50

Played spin the bottle — $5

Done something you regret — $20

Had sex with your best friend — $20

Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25

Had anal sex — $80

Lied to your mate — $5

Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

I’m kinda curious. When it says “be jumped” does that mean that a bunch of people rolled up and beat you down or does it mean your significant other rolled up on you and sexed you up? And $20 for “done something you regret”? Seriously? I probably do something regrettable every day.

And, since I’m just on my blog and there are no family members, church folk, or preachers present, I’ll cop to my fine: $225.

Fun, right? And by “fun,” I mean absolute time waster. And pretty silly. So, not so fun. My guilty pleasure remains doing pointless quizzes that reveal my soul, hobbies, and food preferences.

Don’t run off just yet, though. There is another Fine Game going around on Facebook. I saw it yesterday when a few of my friends posted their fine amounts. Only this one isn’t naughty.

Check the Church Fine Game:

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Funny how things change after nearly a decade, huh? People go from vaguely confessing their naughty shit to vaguely confessing their church histories.

In case you’re wondering, my fine was $30. My husband’s was $190. One day I hope to cast out a demon, but I’m pretty sure something from the first list will be going on for that to happen.

Wanna share your fines? No? Pooh on you.

Are You God?

Little Man has his own Facebook account. Before you threaten to burn me at the stake, it’s not under his name, his only friends are a handful of relatives that I added, and he is supervised while using the Facebook app on his tablet. His tablet time is also limited to about 45 minutes per week, if he earns it. So not only do you, anonymous reader, think we are shitty parents, so does he!!!

I’m sure all the disclaimers in the world won’t stop my spam from getting hit up with some stuff, so let’s move on.

He received the following chain mail message from an aunt last night. I also received the message. His response was rather different than mine, which was Why the fuck did you send me this?! I should egg your car tonight!

As I’ve mentioned before, the little guy tends to take things very literally. So when he read about how God had seen this and that in the message, he assumed that the only person who could know that was the big man himself and that his aunt must also be the big man by default.

Kids!