My husband and I both have the habit of not wearing our wedding bands. It’s not that we don’t love each other or because we want to pick up other people, because we don’t (well, I don’t), but it’s a combination of being prone to losing shit and being lazy as hell. Mostly the latter.
Being lazy as hell means not taking the time to do little things in the morning or before leaving the house. Like putting on wedding bands and other jewelry (or putting them back). Or shaving. Or taking the time to put on clothing that makes us look less like hobos and more like, I dunno, non-hobos.
Not wearing our rings regularly has led to some interesting situations.
Sometimes I’ll get the You’re living in sin look from The Judges. You know, those women who live to try to make people feel like shit in the name of the lord. This sometimes happens when Sam and I are both together, but mostly when I’m out with the kids by myself. And those same heffas also love to look over my shoulder to see how I’m paying for my groceries. Because Jesus said “Let the poor and their kids go hungry.”
The more interesting–and funnier–situation is interest from the opposite sex.
The very first time I witnessed this effect of not wearing wedding bands was at a doctor’s office. Sam had an awful infection from an in-grown toenail. It was nasty and quite painful for him. I drove him while Little Man stayed with my MIL. After giving it a look over, the young female doctor said that she had to remove part of the toenail and lance the wound.
If the first time you met someone was under those circumstances, you’d probably be feeling like Clint Eastwood, even if you couldn’t let it show. This would probably kill any potential sexual attraction. Even if it were Charlie Hunnam or the female equivalent.
But not this doctor. No, she was not to be deterred. Her stomach was made of cast iron, as she definitely found Sam attractive, which she made obvious while removing his toenail. While he was groaning in pain. And with his wife in the room.
There was a lot of flirty chit-chat, asking about a football team Sam liked, suggesting the two of them meet up at a tailgate during the upcoming weekend. There were also many caresses to his arm and shoulder. Not just “it’s okay, I’m sorry you’re in pain” pats, but “I wanna move this hand down below and I would if there wasn’t a person in the corner reading a magazine.”
Maybe she thought I was Sam’s sister. I was wearing jeans and an old t-shirt while Sam was wearing his Corporate America clothing he had on at work (back when he still drove in). Regardless of who she thought I was, it was still pretty damn inappropriate on many levels.
It took every bit of willpower I had not to laugh, as Sam looked absolutely horrified. He’s not the type to flirt and “doesn’t do well talking to girls” even now.
After it was all done and Sam had gotten instructions on care plus a prescription, we got up to head out. On the way out, I looked the doctor in the eyes and said, “Thanks for fixing up my husband.” The look on her face was absolutely priceless.
Have you ever had any strange situations come up due to lack of a ring?