Poof, A Blog Post

“I’m going to sit here until I write a blog post,” I announced to my husband. Not that he was paying attention or really cared about me writing a post for a blog that he doesn’t read, but I felt like if I said it that I’d actually do it. So, this is me doing it. If only losing weight were as easy. “I’m gonna lose five pounds!” and poof, it’s gone.

I haven’t been so good with the blog writing lately. I feel like I keep saying that (or maybe I just keep writing that in drafts that I delete). At any rate, this hasn’t been the most productive few months as far as blogging goes. At the end of summer, I thought that I’d be writing a lot once school started back. That was true for about a month, but then I began slacking off again. Well, some of it was slacking off (or getting busy with all the things) and some of it has been a tired brain that has been lacking decent topics.

This is such a fun time of year, but so, so busy. Y’all know how it is. I’ve got most of the Christmas shopping done at least, all online, which is pissing off our mail lady. We got a mailer from the Post Office encouraging people to use the USPS to ship their Christmas stuff this week, delivered by her. I’ll take the complaints over having to actually go out to the mall or go, God forbid, Black Friday shopping at Walmart. What little I haven’t taken care of I plan to make…hopefully. (In about a week, expect a post on how I screwed up necklace making and woodburning.)

Today I had to go get my hearing aids fixed and then go by the DMV to get my license renewed. This time I don’t look high in my picture, but I do have the serial killer look going on and am not looking at the camera. The lady took so long and I looked at my husband with a “WTF is going on?” look on my face. Yay. At least I didn’t let my license expire, though, so it’s a win in my book. (And, nope, I’m not sharing the picture.)

Who’s ready for Thanksgiving? We’ve got three Thanksgivings to go to tomorrow (everyone lives less than 15 minutes away, thankfully!), and I’m cooking for all three. I’m making peanut butter pies, sweet potato pies, chocolate eclair cake, macaroni and cheese, corn, and cornbread. Sugar, carbs, and butter FTW!

paula-deen-butter-meme

In the week after Thanksgiving, we’ve got Little Man’s All Star games (send some positive vibes his way, as his ADHD has been in full swing and he’s back to playing in the dirt, which will certain impact how much playing time he gets), my birthday, Christmas decorating, a therapy appointment, and our Tacky Christmas Party. I’ve got a lot of cleaning to do, plus I need to make my and Sam’s sweaters. I’m thinking I’m gonna be snarky and make a “Make Christmas Great Again” sweater.

Busy, but fun times.

This is good enough to qualify as a blog post, so I’m wrapping it up. Maybe next time I’ll have a post post and not just a recap of the week post. Smart money says probably not, though.

By the way, I wrote a guest post on my friend Matty’s blog, Confessions (so we can partially blame him for my lack of posting 😉 ). It’s part of his Finding Out Who We Are series. He’s a great guy — check out the post and website and give him a follow if you haven’t!

Happy Thanksgiving!

How’s it going for you guys? Are you ready for the holidays (or maybe you’re over them already)?

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The Madness Is Over

Whew, Christmas is over! I feel like I’ve run a marathon, except for not burning any calories. And other things. We had a very nice Christmas, but it was tiring!

If you’re a parent, does it look like your home has been hit by a toy tornado? All the clutter. Gah. We did a few gifts each for the kids, so with the exception of a couple items, their stuff was in their room by the time we had brunch. But then they got gifts at my dad’s (which was the equivalence of three of our Christmases) and Sam’s mom’s house. So now the living room looks like a toy store puked its guts out because there is so much. I’m keeping my mouth shut about the mess until Monday, though, and then the cleaning/organizing will commence.

Come on, Monday! And on Monday, the Christmas tree and few decorations inside will come down! I’m like a post-Christmas Grinch who absolutely relishes in taking all that shit down and shoving it back in boxes and making my house look like Christmas never happened. (Except for that one fucking snow globe I always forget and end up leaving displayed throughout the year.)

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So, like I said, this Christmas was a good one. We did a lot of the things on my How I’m Gonna Make Christmas Perfect list. We didn’t watch all the movies, do crafts, or decorate outside. But we did a lot. More than usual, anyway. The kids saw Santa, we watched a few movies, there was hot cocoa, we went to see a light show, plus other things I’m probably forgetting — it was all a lot of fun for the kiddos.

Now that I’ve got the niceties out of the way, I’m going to grumble a bit and offer you some advice.

First, never decide to host two Christmas things back to back. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. On Thursday, I was cleaning my house (which included cleaning the floors four different ways because OCD), wrapping gifts, preparing food for the Christmas Eve feast (and I forgot to include anything that I actually eat other than biscuits or ham in my menu, which sucked), making my dessert for the Christmas Day thing at my mother-in-law’s, and getting food ready for the Christmas Day brunch I was having, all the while going back and forth with my father on why I wouldn’t expand the guest list for brunch to 20 fucking people.

That was too much. Way too much. Maybe next time I’ll listen when I’m advised not to put too much pressure on myself. I’m glad that I didn’t fall apart as I usually do at least!

My second piece of advice — don’t buy your kids gifts that require a lot of putting together. Or at least don’t wait until the last minute to start the putting together. The words “I’m going to write a scathing review!” were uttered more than once. We were up until 3AM putting together Baby Girl’s coupe, her little house, and Little Man’s drum set. We’ve been doing this parent thing for eight Christmases now. You’d think we wouldn’t be making such rookie moves at this point!

Now that the grumbling is out of the way, I’ll say that everyone enjoyed the food at both of my things, the kids loved their Christmas gifts, Sam gave me the most thoughtful present ever (a charm bracelet with all of our babies’ names and birthstones), and things went okay at my Dad’s house and great at my mother-in-law’s. Little Man called it “the best Christmas ever.” 

How was your Christmas/holiday?

A Rare Baking Post: Apple Danish

I don’t do a lot of cooking related posts (well, any) because I’m not very good at it. I might occasionally gripe about my shitty abilities in a post here and there and I might mention baking once in a while, but generally I stay away from such posts.

Not today.

I decided to make an Apple Danish today. After Little Man quite seriously commented that zombies would love to eat the Danes, since they would taste good because of their danish, I had a taste for an apple danish and found a recipe.

Despite the Hamburger Helper fiasco of last week, I decided to go for it. Here’s how that went…

The dough turned out very sticky. I used to make homemade pretzels, so I knew the consistency was off. Other than melting the butter instead of using room temperature butter, I followed the instructions exactly. It was probably that small change that made it turn out weird. I added a bunch of flour so I could knead it, then let it rise and all that business.

This is before baking it. The strips aren’t exactly right, oops! I ended up having to cook the danish for almost twice as long as the recipe called for, so I think I either didn’t roll the dough thin enough or maybe it wasn’t long enough.

During the baking, there was a casualty. I accidentally threw the oven mitt on top of the burner I had just turned off from making the glaze. I smelled something off and thought, “Dammit, I’ve ruined the fucking danish,” but it was the oven mitt cooking. Luckily I got it off before it caught on fire.  Finally, after all of the checking to see if the danish was done, resetting the time for a couple more minutes, telling Little Man that no, it wasn’t quite ready, the thing was done. This is how it looked out of the oven: 
And here’s the piece I ate: 
The verdict?

It turned out pretty darn good.

Not good enough for Sam to tell me that it was awful and that I shouldn’t taste it (as he does on the rare occasion that I make something fantastic), nor was it good enough for Little Man to pretend to faint (as he does for things he deems awesome), but we all enjoyed it!

The crust turned out to be a little tough, but that was the only thing. I’ll definitely try it again and be sure to not melt the butter and get the dough thinner. Also, the glaze was amazeballs.

What tasty thing have you made lately?

The Biscuit Man

As I was taking out the last pan of chocolate chip cookies tonight, I noticed that one of them was misshaped. It looked almost like a little man.

This reminded me of grandmother’s “biscuit man.” (I wrote a rather long post about her a while back here.)

Every Sunday, my Grandma would cook an elaborate dinner that we would eat after church (or after everyone else came in from church, as was the case when I got older).

Sometimes she would make fried chicken, sometimes it was a beef or pork roast, and occasionally she made stew beef and rice. These meals would always come with macaroni and cheese and a variety of vegetables, plus either corn bread or biscuits. Usually my plates would consist of a meat and bread, sometimes a baked potato, since I was such a picky eater. My husband called that an abomination after he came along (he gained about 25 pounds in the first six months of dating from eating her food!)

Grandma took great pride in her biscuits, as many older Southern women do. She made them from scratch, of course, and they really were wonderful. One thing my dad gave me after she passed was the stuff she made biscuits with (her pan, sifter, cutter, and recipe), and I’ve only made them right once, probably because I refuse to use my hands to mix the dough like she did. Hers were perfect every time. 

When I was a little kid, she would always take the leftover scraps of dough and make a little man out of them. It looked kind of like a snow man. Whenever the biscuits were ready, she’d call me in to get the biscuit man. 

The other grandkids fussed over not getting the biscuit man when they were there, but she never made one for them. It was just a special thing for the two of us. ❤️ I was always her favorite, which she told me after I got older, not that it was much of a secret. 

Grandma is never far from my thoughts, and I love how such little things like seeing a misshaped cookie can bring some of those wonderful memories I have of her to the front of my mind.