Adios, June

Today is Day 30 of my June Writing Challenge. This marks the 15th day that I have posted, so I only posted half the time. That’s better than previous months, at least!

My husband took the kids camping yesterday in a nearby state park. It was Baby Girl’s first camping trip. I opted not to go, because I hate everything there is about camping. I don’t like the close proximity to people, how uncomfortable it is, the bugs, the lack of a nice, private bathroom, and the heat. Oof, the heat. My last camping trip was sometime before my husband and I got married. It was fall and we were in the Grandfather Mountain area in NC, so it was nice (and the only issues were being uncomfortable and lack of a nice bathroom).

For whatever reason, my husband decided that the end of June in South Carolina heat was a good time to introduce BG to camping. And not even in the mountains, where it probably would’ve been cool enough to sleep last night.

They came home around 11:30 to sleep.

My husband said BG wasn’t having any of sleeping in the tent. First, he forgot pillows and her sheet. She can’t sleep without those. Then she complained about being cold despite being soaked with sweat from the heat. She also complained about being hot, but this didn’t stop her legs from being cold because of the forgotten sheet. The air mattress was “yucky and horrible.” (I agree.) And then she didn’t want to sleep next to my husband and her brother, so she moved to sleep at their feet. And then she didn’t like them moving around, and when LM bumped her with his foot, she started hitting him and yelling.

I can only imagine what the campers nearby thought of all of this.

My husband said they tried to sleep in the car and gave BG the whole backseat to herself, but she didn’t have her sheet, so that didn’t work. When they came home around 11:30, they all crashed.

My husband did say the rest of the day was fun — fishing, hiking, roasting marshmallows, etc., so I guess next time just spending a day at the park will be the plan next time.

I had the evening to myself. I was going to go for a swim, but the ladder on the pool was messed up (my husband had to replace a bracket or something and forgot to put it on), so I just took a long bath. I had a nice rum drink to go with the bath and ate pizza, plus a Lily’s chocolate bar for dessert. Mmm. After playing a couple rounds of Fortnite, I watched a movie called Clemency, which was a pretty good movie. Having a few hours to myself was very nice! And now my husband will need the same after camping with the girl.

The Good Old Days

I wrote my post for today, and I scheduled it to publish in a few hours. And then I jumped over to this. I’m still waiting on my Ambien to kick in, and if it does, then I’ll abandon this post and go to sleep and maybe finish tomorrow, if it’s worth it. If it doesn’t, then I’ll finish it and you’ll get to read something in the middle of the night. Er, when you wake up.

I know some of y’all have been blogging longer than I have. I started in the fall of 2014. Baby Girl was indeed a baby back then. When I started then, it seemed easy to find a few blogging communities that I clicked with really quickly.

And then time did its thing, and slowly but surely, almost every blogger I followed has stepped away. (Hell, I stepped away for a little while, too.) It sucks, though, not seeing posts from your favorite people. Some simply fade away. That’ll be me. I make efforts to post, but I’m not good at posting regularly anymore. Eventually I’ll just fade out. Others announce their departures. And some just leave, not another word to be heard from them again.

One of my absolute favorite bloggers did this. If your favorite person at work is your work husband, then I suppose this dude was my blog husband. Hilarious guy. But he just disappeared a few years ago. Never posted anything or commented again. I always wondered what happened to him and if he was okay. His blog is still up, so I pop over once in a while to see if he decided to make a comeback.

*Checks*

Nope.

All good things must come to an end, I suppose. I guess having a dozen blog buddies for a few years was pretty damn good, especially considering how quickly people come and go here.

Season finale of "The Office" got me right in the feelings | The ...

The good old blogging days, that is.

I feel like there was a point I wanted to make, but now I dunno. Whatever it was, I do miss what I call the Golden Age of blogging.

June 1

Thirty days of blogging is officially underway. This is just going to be a rambling post, nothing spectacular to start off a blog challenge ūüėČ

Summer vacation has officially started. It’s weird starting vacation without my long list of things to do during the summer. Vacation, weekend trips, overnight stays at the waterpark resort, museums, Chuck E. Cheese, camps, the summer reading program, etc. Unless things change big-time, it looks like we’ll be doing summer the same way I did growing up.

Aside from my brief stint with the Girl Scouts and doing their week-long day camp, I didn’t do summer camps. We typically went to either the beach or the mountains for a week, but that was the extent of our overnight stays. We didn’t go to Chuck E. Cheese or museums or much of anywhere. We did go to the library a lot, although our library didn’t have summer programs for kids past third grade or so. My grandma would take us each week, and we would spend hours there. Definitely the highlight of my summers.¬†Aside from that, most of my summer was spent hanging out at home, playing outside, reading, watching TV, seeing my cousin occasionally, and playing video games. We lived in a rural area, so there wasn’t a neighborhood with kids to play with.

A summer that isn’t overplanned and exhausting (as my summer plans tend to be) will be a change, but good in many ways, I’m sure.

A friend of mine had a drive-by birthday party for her son yesterday. (The birthday kid/parents stay outside and people stay in their cars and drive by to wish them a happy birthday.) We went through to say hello and drop off a gift. Baby Girl got to talk to someone her age in person for the first time in 2.5 months, and she was overjoyed. ‚̧ Her birthday is in three weeks, so I guess we’ll be doing the same thing.

Right now I’m listening to Baby Girl sing as I write. She’s singing “[Little Man] is a butt!” over and over. LM isn’t even in the house.

Wanna hear the source of a major fallout at my house the other day? Better yet, let me show you.

Amazon.com: Magic 8 Ball: Mini: Toys & Games

My cousin and I used to use this in our tween/early teen years to determine our future husbands. (Note: I did not marry JTT, despite what the ball said.) The fortune telling toy is bad news for the Anxious household, though. Baby Girl started things by asking if LM was a brat. (SIGH) It said, “Yes definitely,” much to her glee. So LM took it and asked it the same question, and it also said “yes” for her. She started straight up sobbing.

“Magic 8 Ball is always right! It said I’m a brat!”

After several minutes of crying, she took the ball and asked, “Is Magic 8 Ball the King of the Idiots?”

Thankfully the damn thing said “yes.” (I think they probably weren’t doing a good job of shaking it up.) And that settled it — the King of the Idiots couldn’t be trusted to tell the truth, so she was fine. (And then she asked it if I’m a bad mom today, it said yes, and she was upset again. I don’t know why the hell I haven’t donated it to Goodwill yet and made it someone else’s problem.)

Happy Monday, y’all.

It’s The Illness That Wouldn’t End…

It goes on and on my friends,
Someone started coughing,
Not knowing what it was,
And I’ll keep on coughing for ever just because…

That’s my bastardization of the Lambchop song. I never watched the show, but my cousin used to sing it to annoy me, so I know it.

My cough does not want to go away. It’s not bad enough to go to the doctor, but it’s enough to make me feel yucky and drained. Thank the lord for some Mucinex, which gives me a little relief even though it makes me feel weird for whatever reason. Cold and allergy medicines do me that way.

I’ve been busy because that’s how we roll. (And I’m not contagious, crud just takes its time moving on from me.) I’ve been helping out at the girl’s school, doing project stuff, chauffeuring (a word I will apparently never learn how to spell, because I always get the red squiggle under the word and have to go back to fix it), etc. The usual.

New Year, New Little Man. It has been pretty obvious that he is starting to go through puberty. Tiny little mustache, slightly deeper voice. Plus he’s much moodier than normal and has been rather aggressive. We’ve had The Talk a few times (because no matter how thorough we think we are, more questions come up, so don’t think it’s One and Done, parents of younger kids) and my husband recently asked if he was interested in girls yet, but the boy said he wasn’t and that it was gross. A recent check on his phone revealed otherwise. I was not ready to see “Hot girls” and “girl boobz” in his search history. Where’d my baby go? All these other baby-faced sixth graders, and then there’s LM.

So, yeah, he’s interested. And he feels bad about it because it means he’s growing up, which he doesn’t want to do. Adolescence, such a tough time. I wouldn’t go back there for anything. He said he likes a girl, but won’t tell us who it is because he’s embarrassed. If I were a betting person, I’d bet that it’s the girl who he texts a lot and invited to his birthday party who has literally the exact same interests as him, but I’m not saying anything.

The New Year has brought us a slightly more bizarre version of Baby Girl. More bizarre to me, anyway. She gets obsessed with certain things, and now one of the things is lions and other wild animals from the African savanna. She can tell you a million little factoids, which is neat, but the bizarre part is how she walks around pretending to be an animal. Not surprising, but bizarre nonetheless when a child walks on all fours, growls, pounces on you, and bites you. This is what happens when you have a pet lion cub who is learning how to hunt and you’re an antelope, even if you didn’t realize you were an antelope. I think we’ve moved on from the body organ obsession now. (Never mind, it’s back.)

She also really loves hyenas, namely spotted hyenas. The zoo we went to didn’t have any hyenas, so we’re looking into nearby zoos that have them. Her school is having a masquerade ball, and she wanted me to make a hyena mask, so I did. I imagine it’ll stand out a bit from the other masks!

We met with the girl’s teacher and teacher assistant this week to discuss her progress. Everything is going well for the most part. Her teacher said she’s coming out of her shell and getting more comfortable with her classmates. She said BG seems interested in talking to more kids aside from the couple she bonded with early on, which they’re excited about. Unfortunately, she is talking a lot when she shouldn’t be, so she’s had to put her head down a few times. Her teacher said she doesn’t want to get on her much because she’s happy she’s comfortable and talking so much and doesn’t want her clamming up.

BG is also showing she’s getting more comfortable by being difficult at times. My words, not theirs. When they ask her to pick up her toys at centers or complete her work, she’ll tell them no and that she’s done. Yikes. They aren’t sure yet of her reading level because she shuts down and refuses to do more or answer questions to show she understands what she’s reading. Same with writing, which has improved greatly, but when she’s done, she’s done. Again, they don’t want to push her too much. They can tell she’s close to boiling over. She has liked her teachers from day one, but her letting her guard down is how we know she’s absolutely comfortable with who she’s around. Double-edged sword.

They had a lot of positive stuff to say overall and seem to really enjoy having her there. I’d hate to see how she would’ve done with LM’s kindergarten teacher at his old school. She complained constantly about him talking or squirming in his seat. I can only imagine how many meltdowns BG would’ve had at this point. BG’s class is very laid back and they get a lot of opportunity for moving around, as kids that age should.

After the meeting, I talked to BG about these things. No talking when the teacher is talking or when you’re otherwise not supposed to and when the teacher tells you to do something, listen and try your best. Her response:

“Well, when I grow up, I’ve decided I’m going to be a kindergarten teacher. And in my class, we’ll play all the time, talk when we want, plus I’ll hire someone to come in and clean up messes so the students won’t have to.”

That child.

Here’s some fun news — my husband and I are on for a cruise again. We’re going for a 3-day cruise on Valentine’s Day weekend. That Monday will be a holiday, so the other grandparents will have the day off to help as needed, plus the kids won’t need to be taken to school. If we plan any future trips together, we’ll have to make sure we do the holiday weekend thing, since that makes things easier.

We thought about doing something different. Trip to NYC or Las Vegas. My husband was taken aback by my itinerary, which scheduled practically every waking minute and noped out. Taking a bus from Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon and hiking and seeing it for the first time would’ve been awesome, but I’m definitely looking forward to the R&R. Hopefully my crud will be cleared up by then.

What’s new with y’all?

Repost: That Time I Broke My Ass

From a few years ago…


I am a very clumsy person. I’ve broken several bones, had more sprains than I can count, and often have bumps and bruises that I have no idea how I got.

Me + doing anything more than walking = disaster.

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad, but close.

When I was in the eighth grade, I had the opportunity to go on a skiing trip with the rest of the grade. What fun! I had never been skiing before, plus a guy that I liked a lot in my class was going on the trip, so I knew it would be an awesome time.

After we got there, I went through the thing they had set up for beginners and by lunch time, I was ready to go down the intermediate trail. So I went down it a couple of times and built up my confidence.

My confidence built up quickly. Too quickly.

The third time I went down, I decided to go down fast. So down the hill I went in a straight line. About halfway down, I realized that I was going too fast. I knew that¬†if I didn’t start slowing my ass down, I would going to crash into something or someone at the bottom.

So I turned my skis inward to try to slow down. Except I turned my skis in too much so that they crossed to form an X, and I lost my balance. Not good. I did sort of a front flip, landed hard on my butt, and rolled down the hill.

It felt like this:

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But probably looked more like this:

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The bad: it hurt like hell and I couldn’t move for a few minutes, plus the guy all the other girls swooned after saw it.

The good:¬†said guy was very concerned and practically carried me back to the lodge. And some petty girls were jealous, not that they bothered checking on me. I was told that a couple of girls tried to fake accidents later, but their wipeouts weren’t as successful as mine as far as getting the guy’s attention went.


The next day, my butt region was so sore that my grandma wouldn’t let me go to school and took me to the doctor.

“You have fractured¬†your tailbone,” I was told after the doc checked out my x-ray.¬†I was told to take it easy, no softball (and tryouts were the very next week), and that I should sit on a little cushion to stay comfy while it healed up.

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So after the weekend, I went to school with my cushion. I didn’t think anything about it until a friend snatched it up and exclaimed, “You got hemorrhoids?!” during homeroom. Heads turned.

I explained to her that no, I did not have hemorrhoids and that I had fractured my tailbone.

“YOU BROKE YOUR ASS?!!!!” All of the heads turned. The teacher threatened to send my friend down to visit her dad (who was also a teacher) if she used that language again.

You would be amazed at just how much interest that pillow got from the other students. Quite a few of them wanted to sit on it to try it out, and one kid offered me a buck if I would let him sit on it for the whole day. And to think, they thought I was the weird one.

After the ass breaking, there was the foot breaking after hopping a fence at Carowinds and landing wrong. Eighth grade was not the best year for me and my bones!

So, what embarrassing accidents have y’all had?¬†

Monday Brain Dump

Now that I have the post about LM out of the way, it’s time for a good old-fashioned brain dump.

Hello, November, and hello weather that finally feels like fall.

Y’all, we sweated our asses off on Halloween. It was like 84 degrees and humid as fuck when we started trick-or-treating. I was glad that my kids didn’t dress as Avengers after all, since that meant I wouldn’t have to go as Carol Danvers with my jeans and leather jacket. The trick-or-treating got rained out after half an hour, but between trunk-or-treat at school, trunk-or-treat at a church, and other stuff, that was more than enough for Baby Girl.

I wish October was a couple of weeks longer. There is so much to do and not enough time to do it all in! I half run my family ragged during the holidays trying to squeeze in every fun activity and my list still has stuff left on it. I’m gonna be that person who starts Christmas stuff too early that everyone on Facebook loves to hate this year. The decorations will go up this weekend because the kids love looking at them and we’ll start our Christmas movie marathon. My Christmas fun list will get checked off this year.

So, as much as I miss BG during the daytime, I’m super enjoying all of the parent volunteering. And I’m not being sarcastic! I didn’t get to do as much with Little Man in elementary school because I had Baby Girl and almost all of the volunteer opportunities asked parents not to bring younger siblings. I hated not doing as much as I would’ve liked with him, so I’m glad I’m getting to do more now!

My husband went on the first field trip because I had a doctor appointment, and let’s just say that he doesn’t share my enthusiasm. Outside of our kids and helping out on a soccer team when LM was in kindergarten, his experience with kids this age is limited. I, on the other hand, did a teaching internship in a 4K program and worked at LM’s preschool for a while, and had young siblings, so I’m not as put off by kids that age. After they got back from the trip, he went over to the bar near the school for a beer. He said his nerves were absolutely shot and that if he had heard one more child tattle on another, he would’ve lost it.

“They aren’t even tattling over anything worthwhile! It’s just ‘Katie looked at me’ and ‘Tyler touched my seat.’ Over and over and over.”

Which is exactly like our children. The latest for Baby Girl is tattling on LM for “following” or “tracking” her. In case you’re concerned that it’s in the stalker type way, let me assure you, it’s not. So, BG cannot stand it when LM looks over her shoulder to see what she’s watching on Hulu when I let her hold my phone. It started as more of a problem because he was invading her personal space and touching her. Now just looking at her screen is a problem, too.

When BG watches “Teen Titans Go,” LM wants to watch, too, which BG detests. So, after some snipping, LM will get his phone out and watches the same exact show, which causes BG to get pissed off and complain about LM tracking and following her. She’s talking about the shows. LM will start about 10 seconds behind her, so that’s why she says he’s tracking/following her. I’m just like, if y’all are gonna bicker anyway, turn the phones off, because that’s 90% of the reason why I let you use them in the first place. Just use the damn headphones.

I feel like more has happened in the past two weeks since I posted about regular happenings, but am blanking now. Happy Monday and all that crap!

About Anxious Mom, As Narrated By Morgan Freeman

While updating my About Me page, I decided to have a little fun with it. And since there has been an influx of new followers, I thought I’d share that page as a blog post. Welcome aboard, new folks.


Per the blog post title, you should read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice.¬†

Anxious Mom, who is known as “Mommy,” “Mom,” or “Momo” by her children, is a 30-something woman who resides in the Deep South. (And by “resides,” we mean “suffers” due to the unbearable heat and humidity.) She has two heathens — a son in middle school and a daughter in kindergarten. When the children aren’t busy tormenting each other, they torture their mother in ways only children can.

There are many things Anxious Mom enjoys doing in her spare time. If you ask her directly, she’d probably tell you that she loves reading and doing intellectual activities such as going to the museum. If you observe her in her habitat, however, you’ll find that she mostly watches shows on Netflix and plays games in her downtime. She is particularly fond of comedies, including The Office, Parks and Rec, Friends, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She has jokingly said that liking one of those shows is required to be friends with her, but through careful observation, we have learned it is not, in fact, a joke.

If you asked Anxious Mom about her background, she’d tell you that she did a brief stint as a teacher before becoming a stay-at-home-mom. Since then, she has done freelance work part-time, including providing content writing and editing services. Her primary job, however, is working as a chauffeur. This is where she truly excels in life, as she has a penchant for punctuality (as long as her children and husband don’t intervene) and safety. The mother, who we suspect was a hall monitor in another life, is proud of having never gotten a speeding ticket. She does, however, fill her swear jar every other day thanks to her time on the road, so she isn’t as goody-two-shoes as she seems.

As you can see, Anxious Mom is a blogger. Some people call her a mommy blogger, and that irritates her greatly. “I am a mom who blogs,” she maintains, as though there is truly a difference. She has blogged for five years and writes about herself and her family. When she first started blogging, she wrote a lot about her mental health, and it’s suspected that she’ll do so again. The rapidly-approaching-middle-age mother is also fond of writing blog posts where she rants about meaningless topics.

This concludes our glimpse into the life Anxious Mom. You can read her other blog posts or follow her on Instagram for other mundane insights into her life.

30 Minutes In The Life…

I need to start keeping a list of blog topics again. An idea popped in my head while I was in the bathroom earlier, and I thought it’d make for a decent blog post. (It wasn’t about anything bathroom-related.) So, I made my way into the living room and sat down at my computer and got a notification that I needed to take medicine.

Reminder: medicine 10:00, daily

It was more than an hour past when I should’ve taken it, so I got up.¬†Once in the kitchen, I saw that the eggs were left out that I brought in this morning from grocery shopping. And by grocery shopping, I mean that I ordered a bunch of stuff on my Walmart Grocery app and picked up everything before I dropped off Baby Girl at school. I hate going in Walmart with a passion, plus they remodeled the damn store and moved everything around, so I’ve been using the app. The app came in especially handy this week since I’m dealing with a cold-sinus thing. When I got home, I put away everything but the eggs. Dammit. Back to the computer.

How long do eggs stay good when left out?

Google said eggs can stay out at room temperature for two hours. Seeing how I got a notification that my groceries were ready at 7:45 and it was past 11:00, things weren’t looking good for the eggs. I put them in the refrigerator anyway and will let my husband test them out. I can’t throw away 18 eggs unless I know for sure that they’re bad, and he’ll taste test anything. (Seriously, though. I told him the other day that I don’t know what I’ll do if he dies before I do, because then I won’t have anyone to check to see if food is still fresh.)

After putting the eggs away, I noticed the gallon of bleach on the table. I bought it because there’s a stain of some sort in the toilet and I’m hoping that will take care of it. I poured a cup of bleach in the toilet and then realized I didn’t know how long I can leave bleach in the toilet before it eats a hole in the plaster or whatever.

How long can I leave bleach in the toilet?

And then I noticed the notification in the top corner of my screen was still there reminding me to take my medication.

Reminder: medicine 10:30, daily

So I took it.

And after I took my medication, I cleared off the kitchen table, wiped down the table and the counters, and contemplated folding one of the baskets of clothes by the back door. I decided against that because nothing looked too wrinkly.

Back to the computer desk. The Google tab was still open from my bleach search, and I saw that it’s recommended you leave bleach in the toilet for 10 minutes. Okey-doke, timer set for 10 minutes. And then I got to the reason I sat down at this computer desk in the first place — the post.¬† I opened up WordPress, ready to write about the topic I was excited to write about earlier, but then my brain totally blanked. I hoped that by writing all of this out, I would trigger something and the idea would come again, but it didn’t.

Oh well.

And now you know how I spent the last 30 minutes of my day.

In case you’re wondering, I actually did flush the bleach on time, but it didn’t get the stain. Yuck. Google tells me that it’s probably lime build-up, so I guess I’ll buy something for that later.