baby girl

Things Kids Say: Strawberries, Fevers, And More

Yesterday Baby Girl gave me enough material to do a few weeks worth of Things Kids Say. Instead of making you wait for it, though, I’ll post it all today, because I’m cool like that.

While changing Baby Girl’s diaper, she started scratching herself. She’s got a bit of a rash going on. It’d be nice if she were ready to potty train (and she did show interest briefly but has since flat-out refused to go on the toilet), but that’s not where we’re at right now. So, as usual, I instructed her to stop her clawing.

“Baby Girl, don’t scratch at your vulva — it’s already red,” I told her.

“Ooooh, Mommy, do it look like a strawberry?” she asked excitedly. I had to inform her that, no, her vulva did not resemble a strawberry. File that one under “Things I Never Thought I’d Say.”

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Little Man is sick with the flu. Again. Yep, he had to go ruin our Illness Free streak, which I think lasted about three weeks. (I’m kidding — poor Little Man.) So, Baby Girl loves going to the doctor and often asks to go. She has a little doctor kit that she plays with a lot, too. (Yep, I’m already boasting to Sam that our daughter is gonna be a doctor.) I commented to BG that Little Man was sick, so she asked about the doctor, expressed regret that she didn’t get to go, and immediately went to doctoring.

“My doggy sick. I get my step-o-scope and shot and take his fever.” She went through the motions with the toy stethoscope and syringe, used the thing that’s used to check the nose and ears, and then pressed the button on the digital thermometer I had left out. (You can tell she’s paid close attention in her visits.)

“It say he got five dollars! He sick!” she said when the numbers popped up on the thermometer. Poor dog.

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Our power went off briefly yesterday evening. After taking out the lantern (which BG declared to be “amazing”), Sam talked about getting some candles out. This made Baby Girl super excited.

“It’s my birthday?! Yay! It’s my birthday! Where’s my cake?” It took a while to make her understand that there was no cake. I was tempted to stick a leftover birthday candle in a Little Debbie cake, but she didn’t eat her supper, so no Debbies for her.

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And now for the super sweet thing she said yesterday — we were waiting on a call from Little Man’s doctor (the insurance denied his Tamiflu prescription, saying they wouldn’t cover it more than once in a 90-day period, so the office was trying to get that sorted out). I didn’t hear the phone ring, because sucky hearing, and Baby Girl told me it was ringing. I told her a little bit later that I appreciated her telling me it was ringing.

“Mommy’s ears don’t work very well, so I need your help hearing things sometimes,” I told her.

“Your ears not work?” she asked.

“Not very good,” I answered.

“Poor Mommy,” Baby Girl said, looking sad. “I go see Santa tomorrow. I say I want new ears for you. I say, ‘Pleeeease, Santa!'” All the feels right there.

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Things Kids Say: My Favorite Milk

So, Baby Girl is some sort of ninja. We knew the girl had skills, but didn’t quite realize the extent of those skills until the recent bout of sickness.

That’s right, I said sickness. Again. (Again. Again. Again. Because one “again” doesn’t cover it. At this point, I understand if you “X” out your browser tab for this post, since so many of my posts have been about sickness this year.)

Little Man got sick on Monday with what appeared to be the flu. He had the same symptoms as Norah did in January, plus there is an outbreak in our area. Luckily, we had the extra Tamiflu our doctor gave us back then, so we gave him that, and three days later, he was good to go back to school.

We thought we’d be safe with Baby Girl, since she had it before. Immunity or some crap, right? Obviously I either don’t know how things works or she was unlucky or something. Either way, she came down with the same symptoms on Wednesday. But she wouldn’t take her medicine.

“No, I not take that medicine. I not like it,” she told us. “No thank you!”

Fine. We’d be sneaky and put it in her drink.

We gave her some lactose-free milk. “No, not that milk. I want my milk. I not drink that. No thank you.” She hadn’t even tasted it, nor was she in the kitchen when we made it. She just knew.

We tried it with juice. We tried with a Tum-E-Yummy. We tried mixing it in ice cream. We tried soda. She wouldn’t go near any of it. Toddlers are apparently built with a radar than lets them know anytime an adult is trying to be sneaky about something they’re going to consume. It was frustrating, but I was also kinda impressed. And then we tried the same things again yesterday, without much luck at first.

“Baby Girl, if you don’t take your medicine, we’re going to have to take you to the doctor,” I told her.

“Okay!” she said brightly. “I get my ears checked and my pig’s ears checked.”

Really? She had a pretty high fever and had been lying in bed sleeping most of the day. Minutes before she could only muster up the strength to say “Hold, me Mommy” in the weakest voice ever, with her eyes closed. She was like dead weight when I picked her up, as apparently holding her arms around my neck while I carried her would have been too much physical exertion. And now she wants to get out and drive to see the doctor?

I sighed. “Maybe we’ll go tomorrow.”

We continued trying to get the medicine in her. At one point five drinks in five cups were spiked. (Don’t worry, we kept track of everything.) After more refusals, Sam finally put some medicine in whole milk (which she isn’t supposed to be drinking right now).

“Oh, it’s my favorite milk!” she said when she tasted it. And then she guzzled it down. Within the hour, her fever was down and she was running around the house fussing at Little Man for looking at her toys. Today she feels much better and has no fever, just still tired. It’s amazing how quickly kids can bounce back.

Things Kids Say Thursday: Your Face

My kids fight. A lot. It’s rather surprising, given that they’re almost nine and two and a half, but boy do they fight. They fight over food, toys (lately it’s been Baby Girl’s pink Coupe car), the tablet. And, even though Baby Girl only weighs 25 pounds and is half as tall as Little Man, she wins a lot of those spats. That girl does not back down.

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Their future?

Earlier this week, it was the tablet again. Baby Girl can’t stand it when Little Man looks at the tablet with her. I don’t know if it’s just the fact that he’s in her space or if she’s just being a CeCe, but it almost always leads to them arguing. She tells him to go away and he tells her he can look, too, and it goes downhill from there. It’s annoying as hell. I’m almost tempted to side with BG, just because whatever she watches, LM proclaims to be the worst thing ever — so there shouldn’t be any standing too close or bitchiness or whatever to fuss over in the first place.

So, Little Man was once again up in BG’s space while she was watching something on the tablet. Once she realized he was watching, she shifted the tablet out of his view. Much to her annoyance, LM moved, too.

“NO, Little Man. This MY tabit!” she told him and moved it again.

“It’s not your tablet!” LM said. “I can watch, too.” He jerked the tablet back to where he could see it.

I sighed. “Baby Girl, share or I’m turning it off,” I said sharply.

At that, she stood up and went to the recliner and climbed in it, thinking that he couldn’t sit with her. So he went and sat on the arm of the chair and slipped down, wedging himself beside her. I should’ve taken the tablet then, but I was kinda curious to see where it was gonna go. If kids are gonna annoy the hell out of you, it’s okay to use them for your entertainment every once in a while, right?

“Go play with yo’ toy, Little Man,” BG snapped. “This MY tabit.” She pulled the tablet directly in front of her face, just an inch or so from her nose, so he couldn’t see it.

“Nuh-uh! You’ve gotta share!” He jammed his face right beside hers. I shook my head. Jesus. Now neither one could really see it.

“Go away, Little Man,” BG said, pushing him. “I not like yo’ face.”

At that, LM and I both erupted in laughter. We’ve been randomly telling each other that ever since. (And, yeah, she lost the tablet.)

Things Kids Say Thursday: Quiz Time

Over the past few days, I’ve been filling in the answers to one of those toddler quizzes going around on Facebook. There was no way I was getting Baby Girl to sit down and have a Q&A session with me, so slipped them in while we were playing, eating, etc.

Here’s your glimpse inside the mind of a toddler…

What’s your name? Kate Kate. (She briefly went to calling herself Baby [Real Name] and has now switched back to Kate Kate.)

How old are you? 1. I’m 2 and 1, Mommy. And 3 and 4. (Mostly she tells people she’s one since she gets frustrated that she can’t hold up two fingers straight, which is imperative for being honest about one’s age. And then they marvel over her vocabulary and I have to break the news that she’s really two.)

When is your birthday? I want my birthday. (Sings) Happy birthday to Kate Kate!

How old is mommy? 4.

How old is daddy? 3.

What’s your favorite color? Brown.

What’s your favorite food? Pizza.

Who’s your best friend? Price.

What’s your favorite show? Star Wars.

What’s your favorite movie? Star Wars.

(No kidding her favorite thing on TV right now is Star Wars.)

What’s your favorite song? Twinkle Little Star.

What’s your favorite animal? Sheep.

What are you scared of? *Growls*

What makes you happy? (Raises hands in air) I’m happy!

Where is your favorite place to go? I like to go home and play tablet. And Chuck E Cheese.

What is mommy’s favorite thing to do? Play house.

What’s daddy’s favorite thing to do? Get on his computer.

What’s your favorite thing to do? Drink milk.

What’s your brother’s favorite thing to do? Play with MY toys.

If you’re detecting a bit of hostility towards Little Man on that last one, you’re right. He has taken quite an interest in her Little People play house she received for Christmas, and it’s pissing her off immensely.

The conversation has been going something like this —

“That MY house, Little Man!”
“You have to SHARE, Baby Girl!”
“YOU SHARE, Little Man. This MINE.”
“Mom, she’s not sharing!”
“Jesus Christ, y’all, again?”

Fun times!

All The Christmas Things

This is very likely the last year that Little Man will believe in Santa Claus. He no longer thinks the Elf on the Shelf is real (mainly because he found the box Rufus lives in the other 11 months of the year) and he has been questioning whether Santa is real again. (He first did this when he was three or four — scoffed at the idea of a sleigh traveling such a far distance without a jet pack.)

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This was my effort at getting LM to believe in Rufus again. Can’t imagine why it didn’t work.

I always thought that when LM seriously asked me about Santa (especially considering that we do a watered down version of Santa) that I’d tell him the truth.

I didn’t.

After being bummed over the Elf, I want to finish this Christmas with him waking up on Christmas morning looking under the tree thinking something magical has happened. We can talk about other types of Christmas magic, but you know the one I’m talking about will be lost forever after this year.

When he asked, I turned the question around on LM and asked what he thought. He rambled on a bit, then asked me again, and I started rambling about the magic and spirit of Christmas. After going on, he lost the ability to pay attention (which I was banking on) and went on to something else. He also got a letter from the North Pole in the mail (from a festival he went to), plus I’m going to do the Portable North Pole app on my phone for a message from Santa, so — by God — we’re going to get through these next six days with him believing in something that I didn’t care if he believed in in the first place when he was little. Funny how that works. And when he finally does stop believing, I’m gonna bawl my eyes out since that means those little boy days are coming to an end. (This would be the part where Sam would be all, “E, stop getting sad over when the kids grow up! God!”)

Despite Little Man’s decreased interest in Rufus, I’ve been trying to keep our Elf active. Baby Girl thinks that Rufus is actually Santa and will talk to him about what she wants for Christmas (we’re now at “a ball, a book, a hamburger, and a Snowman”). She doesn’t get the pranks, though. She will next year, and I bet LM will be able to come up with some fun things. Overall, I’ve missed a few nights moving the Elf, but found that getting online after the rest of the family goes to bed and catching up on blog reading helps me. Namely, reading StomperDad’s Daily Elf post is what helps me. His post reminds me to move the thing, plus sometimes I steal what his elves did.

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Snowball fiiiight!

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Rufus TP’d the tree! Stolen from StomperDad.

We took the kids to see Santa at the mall last weekend. I waited three hours while Sam roamed around with the kids. We really wanted a nice picture of the two kids with Santa for the Christmas card, but when our turn came up, Baby Girl wanted no part of Santa. “I scared, Mommy. I don’t like him!” she told me. As I tried to escort her out, the pissed off elf helper tried to make me put her down on Santa’s lap for the $30 picture. That didn’t happen, and she came dangerously close to seeing that “Pissed Off Mommy Over Not Respecting Boundaries” is a hella lot more scary than “Pissed Off Elf Over Not Selling A Picture.” I got some grumbling about “parents these days,” but whatever.

Since that didn’t work out, we took some pictures at home. A few of them were bad enough that we could’ve used them to be funny (like last year), but I settled on one super sweet picture to send everyone.

And, since this has turned into a random, all over the place, holiday post, I might as well talk about my baking.

I was the treat master today.

I baked a cheesecake (despite being cracked, Sam said it was the best he’d had anywhere), dipped Oreo’s and peanut butter chocolate graham crackers into chocolate, made Andes chocolate bark, made praline squares, and made a huge thing of Christmas crack (lots of chocolate and peanuts). screenshot-2016-12-19-at-2-11-47-am

Hooray for sugar and chocolate!

That’s the last of the baking I’ll have to do until the end of the week. I’m making a chocolate cake for my mother-in-law’s get-together, but that’s it (I think).

This coming week is going to be hectic, though. (I’m preaching to the choir, I know!) Between now and December 25th, I’ve got Christmas cards to mail, last minute shopping, I’ve gotta go to LM’s school and teach jewelry making, we’re going out for my belated birthday dinner tomorrow, catching a Christmas light show on Tuesday, on Wednesday Sam and I just might get the evening to ourselves and instead of wrapping presents, we’ll go see Rogue One again. Aaand then…Thursday is when we get together with our friends to exchange gifts, Little Man has a birthday party to attend on Friday, and Saturday — Christmas Eve — is when we’ll be doing all the cleaning and cooking for our Christmas Eve meal (which will be for four people, not 15), plus crafts, movies, and hot cocoa. And then comes Christmas Day, opening presents, hosting a brunch, followed by Christmas at my Dad’s, then Christmas at my in-laws, followed by a brunch the next day at my former stepmom’s house.

(If I write down all the things I have to do in more than one place, then it’s more likely that I’ll remember to do them…or at least stumble across where I wrote them down and get reminded that way, right? We’ll see.)

How’s your week looking? Crazy busy or are you avoiding some of the madness?