Y is for YMNK, #AtoZChallenge

Whew…almost there — only one day left of the A to Z Challenge! Today’s textspeak isn’t made up by me, nor does it have curse words in it. Imagine that, a legit, clean texting acronym! Don’t worry, though, some of the acronyms I passed up aren’t clean, and you can see them at the bottom.

Y isn’t for YOLO, because I’m not a douchebag*. Instead, Y is for —

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  • That I’ve edited a couple of books.
  • That I have four tattoos and would like to have a Shakespeare themed half sleeve on my left arm.
  • That we actually call Baby Girl “Baby Girl” a lot in real life. She hasn’t said her real name yet, but she refers to herself as Baby, Baby Girl, or My Baby.
  • That I hate Seinfeld.
  • That I don’t like animals. I’ll all about their rights and shit, but keep them away from me.
  • That I think The Office is the best sitcom ever. I will fight you to the death if you suggest otherwise. The first few seasons of Parks and Recreation are a close second.
  • That I have mad math skillz. I’m all Good Will Hunting when you need taxes or tips calculated. (Those count as mad math skillz, right?)
  • That I have two left feet. I’m one of the clumsiest mofos you’ll ever meet.
  • That — on the clumsy note — I don’t dance. At all. I hate it. I hated having to do it a couple times at my wedding, and it still makes me cringe thinking about it 10 years later.
  • That I think yellow cake sucks. The batter will do, though.

Okay, maybe you did know some of that stuff since I’ve made a million or so posts, but maybe a couple things are new to you.

*It’s a joke, so please don’t get all offended with “But I use YOLO and I’m not a douchebag, YB!”

Alternative meaning: None.

Textspeak I passed up: YMMV (your mileage may vary), YBF (you’ve been fucked), YAOTM (yet another off topic message), YBS (you’ll be sorry), YCMTSU (you can’t make this shit up), YKWIM (you know what I mean), YB (you bitch), and YOLO (you only live once).

Care to share a YMNK tidbit about yourself?


X is for XLA, #AtoZChallenge

The first half of this challenge started off great. There was a ton of good textspeak to choose from, especially acronyms. But now that I’m near the end, the well has been drying up a bit. It’s bone dry with the X day. There are a handful of X acronyms, but they aren’t post worthy, so instead, I’m gonna make up another acronym and go from there.

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Little Man likes texting people from his tablet (and by people, I mean mostly myself and his dad). I don’t think he knows any acronyms yet, so to help introduce him to the wide world of textspeak, I’m going to start using acronyms in our conversations. Only these acronyms won’t be WTF, GTFO, STFU or anything like that, no matter how much they’re running through my head. Instead, I’ve created a few acronyms to use, and they are XLA, especially from a kid’s perspective.

My XLA for when LM starts texting:

GTYR: go to your room.

CUYR: clean up your room.

FTD: feed the dog.

SBSL: stop being so loud.

BQOUWWYS: be quiet or you will wake your sister.

PYOGOM: pour your own glass of milk.

TOTTV: turn of the TV.

YGMAHA: you’re giving me a headache.

TOTT: take out the trash.

DYHW: do your homework.

GO: go outside.

FTLOGGO: for the love of god, go outside.

TDBGHAPD: tell Daddy that Baby Girl has a poopy diaper.

EYV: eat your vegetables.

Alternative meaning: None.

Textspeak I passed up: XOXO (hugs and kisses) and XTC (ecstasy).

Lame enough? What XLA would you add?

W is for Webtrovert, #AtoZChallenge

Today’s textspeak is one of my favorites so far (and likely will be my favorite overall, since we’re close to the end and all).

Are you much more outgoing online than you are in real life? If so, you might be a:

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Some people are people persons. They’re charming, outgoing, and generally thrive on being around other people. I am not one of those people. But maybe you wouldn’t know that if you only know me from my amazeballs online personality. Well, unless you’ve read one of the 164 posts where I mentioned being introverted and having the social anxiety. I am webtroverted to the nth degree.

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The Internet is awesome for introverts, isn’t it? We can be in complete control of our social stuff without having to put ourselves out there more than we are comfortable with or face the judgment that comes with diligently checking stuff on the phone and ignoring people.

Long live webtroversion.

Alternative meaning: None.

Textspeak I passed up: WTF (what the fuck), WITW (what in the world), WTG (way to go), WYD (what you doing).

Are you webtroverted?


V is for Voluntold, #AtoZChallenge

Remember how I complained about passwords a few days ago? Well, the Password Curse has struck again. I was trying to erase part of my Internet history for totally non-naughty reasons and when I cleared out my cookies and cache, it logged me out of everything. Not a problem if you know your user name and passwords, but that ain’t me.

So, why am I telling you this? The website I use — Canva — to do the little graphic was logged out and I have no idea which email I used to sign up. Shouldn’t be a problem, except for I have like a dozen throwaway emails. (This comes from Emailnesia, the disease where you forget your throwaway email login info momentarily and have to create another.) Anyway, I had to go with a new — gasp — account and create a new — gasp — graphic. Now those of you who get twitchy eyed over minor changes like I do have an explanation for the minor graphic change, and those of you who aren’t that way are at least slightly annoyed and are possibly muttering curse words at me.


And on we go.

Being voluntold is exactly what it sounds like — someone volunteers you to do something you either had no intention of doing or don’t want to do. Some people are experts at voluntelling, like my husband’s mother.

“E, since you’re so good with computers, I told Jenny that you could take a look at her’s and see what’s wrong with it, maybe fix it up so that it runs faster. You don’t mind do you?”

Another example of being voluntold to do something is our current school’s mandatory volunteer hours. At Little Man’s old school, if you volunteered to help out, that meant you offered to help out of your own free will. Ain’t no such thing as voluntary volunteer hours when you have to do at least 30 per year or your kid gets kicked out. (In fairness, about half of the hours include things like PTO meetings and conferences…but that takes the fun  but of mockplaining.) And when your kid is late a certain number of times, you get to tack on an extra hour to the total you need to complete. They should start calling them Voluntold Hours.

Alternative meaning: none.

Textspeak I passed up: VIP (very important person), VBG (very big grin), and VEG (very evil grin).

Does anyone voluntold you for things, or are you the one doing the voluntelling?


U is for Unkeyboardinated, #AtoZChallenge

Are you good at typing, whether it’s on a tiny little smartphone keyboard or a regular sized keyboard? Or are you prone to fucking up? If the later is true, you can call yourself —

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I found this little gem — where else — on Urban Dictionary. Here’s the meaning:

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While Little Man was getting ready for school this morning, he asked me how fast I type. I’m used to his random questions by now, so rather than ask why my typing speed is important to know at 7:30 in the morning, I just answered.

“I dunno, probably 120 words per minute.”

Little Man laughed. “No, it’s not! Come on Mommy, be for real.”

“I am for real. I used to type that fast. Probably still type close to that.”

He laughed again and walked off, undoubtedly think that I was full of shit. He doesn’t know how typing pretty fast was what I was known for in middle school. Some people are known for being athletic, others are known for getting to third base, but I was known for typing shit really fast. This came in useful pretty much never in middle school, except for when people wanted me to type something for them. And then it wasn’t a matter of “I’ll give you two sticks of gum and 50 cents for canteen if you type this for me,” so much as it was “type this or I’ll tell everyone you like Cute Guy.” Bastards.

I did check my typing speed again, of course, and as it turns out, LM was partially right — I am not typing 120 WPM anymore. But I’m not unkeyboardinated, either.

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It’s your turn. Are you unkeyboardinated or pretty fucking keyboardinated? Take the one-minute typing test here.

Alternative meanings: None.

Textspeak I passed up: UN (utter nonsense), UOK (are you okay), UTM (you the man), and UOENO (you don’t even know).