That’s What She Said

Some of y’all know that The Office is one of my favorite TV shows ever. The boy has watched it with us for a long time. We used to be careful about which episodes he watched, but since turning 11, we haven’t paid attention as much. And this has resulted in him saying a few things that are rather inappropriate.

I’ve heard, “That’s what she said” about 500 times. In all fairness, that became a thing at LM’s school. A lot of his classmates also watch The Office, so they have all picked up on Michael’s favorite saying. The kicker? They don’t have a clue what it means judging from the examples LM has given me. For example, if the teacher said, “Read blah blah for homework,” one of the kids would say, “That’s what she said.” Or if the teacher said, “Line up for lunch,” someone would say, “That’s what she said.”

They basically think the phrase is supposed to be used for whenever a female says something, which is hilarious. LM accidentally used it appropriately recently. I commented on something being a mouthful, and he said, “That’s what she said.” He had no clue why I thought that was hilarious vs. my lack of laughter when he later told me, “That’s what she said” after I commented on how good the tacos were.”

Remember this one?

Yeah…LM called his sister that a few weeks ago when he got pissed off at her. I was driving at the time, and driving isn’t a good thing to be doing when you hear your son call his sister that. After telling him not to ever repeat that again, I asked him what he thought it meant. “It means she’s a dumb brat,” he told me. Uh, no. Just no. And even then, we don’t call names.

(BTW, when I had to reorder checks last year, I tried to have this printed on my checks. I know, I know, not mature, but the lady in the office at LM’s school is someone I don’t like at all, so I wanted to print them for her — every time I send in a check, it’s in an envelope only she sees. Unfortunately, the company canceled the order.)

And just last week, LM made a reference that caught his dad off guard. He was in the bathroom supervising the kids brushing their teeth when I heard him yell, “NO! Don’t ever say that again!” LM said this:

And we’re back to making sure he only watches certain episodes of the show.

Home Alone

Y’all remember how busy my June was? Well, it was riddled with stomach bugs, too. I guess that’s the price you pay when the kids a) go to camps and b) constantly have their hands in their mouths. They pick up everything.

The last bug didn’t involve puke or diarrhea, so that was nice at least. It involved fevers, headaches, earaches, muscle cramps, and a sore throat and lasted a few days. And now that I’ve written that out, I realize it sounds a lot like the flu. Do people get the flu in the summer? I’ve never heard of it, but if anyone would get that, it’d be my two.

The girl won a free stay at a themed hotel/water park near us, so that was planned for Sunday. Unfortunately for me, a migraine hit on Saturday, and then I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever and the absolute worst headache I’ve had in my life. The rational part of my brain knew it had to be a double whammy of the migraine and their bug, but the non-rational part (which tends to be a big part at times) was convinced I was gonna die. When I had that cochlear implant surgery, they told me there is an increased risk of meningitis, so I was freaking out a bit. WebMD suggested a brain hemorrhage, by the way. I don’t know why I even bother with that site.

I woke my husband up after I took my temperature and told him I might be dying. He said “Sorry” and went back to sleep. So in between groaning over my head throbbing, I silently fumed at him.

I stayed home from the trip. Hearing the girl scream at the top of her lungs in the other room made my head hurt worse, and there was no way in hell I was gonna try to be in the car with her for an hour. Plus I knew I’d just be in the hotel room, so no point in going. I’m 35, and that was the first time I have ever stayed alone at night. I don’t necessarily want to be around people, but I don’t like being alone either, because I’m a fraidy cat. On the rare occasion I was supposed to be alone in the past, my baby brother would stay with me. He works weekends now, though, since he’s a cop.

Y’all would’ve laughed at my paranoid self. I had the house all set up so I would hopefully hear any intruders. I put stuff at all the exterior doors that would crash over if anyone broke in, had the lights and TV on, and I stuck a door stop thingy under the bedroom door. And then it occurred to me that if I super felt like I was dying in the night and had to call 911 that they wouldn’t be able to get to me. Paranoid/anxious person problems.

No one got me. And the possible meningitis obvious was just a migraine and bug. Whoo hoo, I made it!

Hopefully with July being slower, and staying inside more because of the heat wave, we can avoid more bugs. 🤞🏻

And Now We Know

Some of y’all who have been following this blog over the past few years know that our parenting experience with Baby Girl has been challenging in ways. We kept waiting for her to outgrow certain behaviors (I can’t tell you how many times we were told it was all a phase), but that never happened. At the end of last year, BG’s pediatrician referred her to a specialist. We saw a family PA prior, and she always brushed us off about BG’s issues. The pediatrician found the behaviors alarming, so she referred her to a specialist and also got the ball rolling to start speech therapy and occupational therapy. The specialist didn’t seem very concerned about the meltdowns, though, and thought she has ADHD. The appointment was very short, though, and when LM was diagnosed with ADHD, his doctor took several appointments to come to that.

We decided to get a second opinion. We wanted to meet up with the folks from her school before summer ends with a better idea of what was going on so we could all be on the same page and develop a game plan.  We expressed our concerns with the new doctor in the initial appointment, and he said he wanted to do a thorough evaluation to look at different possibilities for what was going on with her, but that he was primarily concerned about autism. 

Over the past couple of months, BG saw the psychologist several times, we did a shit ton of questionnaires, and he talked to her preschool teacher. On Friday, we got the results. First, he agreed with the other specialist and said she does have ADHD. He came to that conclusion after spending more than 10-15 minutes with her (which is what the other specialist did, sigh), so we were comfortable with that. Next, he said that she also has high functioning autism. He spent about an hour going over the tests and stuff and showed us how everything supports his diagnosis. The doctor said that it can be tough to diagnose in gifted younger girls, but that she was a textbook case of a little kid with HFA.

I was surprised. I knew autism was a possibility, of course, but still didn’t expect it. And I was flabbergasted at first on how she would be considered a textbook case. She can be very outgoing and chatty when she wants to be, she can be very charming, she doesn’t stim (or so I thought), she made a couple of friends at preschool last year, and she isn’t terrible with making eye contact. She has such a feisty and mischievous little personality, too. BG just has a real spark to her.

Granted, there are “buts” to some of those things. Like, she can be outgoing and chatty, BUT it’s usually her talking on and on about the stuff she’s into. And with her friends, she told me how she doesn’t play with them at the same time, but switches up depending on who will do what she wants. As far as eye contact goes, sometimes she does okay and sometimes she doesn’t make it at all. Like last week when she and I met with her teacher, BG talked excitedly about her birthday for a few minutes, and then wouldn’t make eye contact with her teacher at all, would barely speak outside of “yes” or “no” questions, and talked in the flattest voice ever. It was like someone flipped a light switch. She can be in her own little world a lot, though, so it’s hard to say that when she doesn’t make eye contact (or doesn’t maintain it well) that it’s because of a specific reason.

Aside from not having any of the severe behavioral issues that BG has, LM seemed to be a better fit for that when he was tested around age 7 or 8. My husband, on the other hand, later told me he wasn’t surprised at all and said he knew she had autism, that it’s obvious, and it was just a matter of getting it diagnosed. I don’t remember him ever saying that before, but okay. He also pointed out that LM was also chatty and charming when he was younger, which I guess I had forgotten since he is now a moody tween. At his theater camp, he wouldn’t even sit with the other kids…he wanted to sit by himself and look at his Pokemon cards. I asked why and he said, “None of those kids will be in my class next year, so why should I try to be friendly with them when it doesn’t matter?” As an introvert, I can relate so hard, but as a mom, c’mon, kid!

When I brought up that non-textbook stuff with the doctor, he reminded me that it’s a spectrum disorder and that girls with it present differently from boys. Being outgoing can be normal, he said she does stim (but it isn’t obvious like hand flapping would be, but he considers the nail biting, skin picking, and licking stuff to be stimming). He also said girls like her are excellent as masking and can come off as being “normal,” which is part of why it can be tough to diagnose.

All righty, then.

This has been quite a year for her. She was diagnosed with a rare neurological disorder this year, she has been in speech and occupational therapy all year, and now this. It has been a lot, but I am SO glad we are figuring things out and getting her help. She’ll also start therapies for social skills and helping her learn to cope better (thereby reducing the meltdowns, I hope). The doctor said doing diagnosing her early and adding in those extra therapies now will make a world of difference down the road.

And, oh…remember how BG often acts like she can spell or read a lot? She didn’t hold back for the doctor, who said she tested as reading on a second grade level.

Yeah.

This is long enough, but I have a lot more to say — especially regarding the stuff the diagnosis explains the hell out of — so I’ll tackle that in the coming days/weeks.

We Don’t Love Her Anymore

When Little Man was Baby Girl’s age, there wasn’t a lot of drama. Aside from him telling a kid he was going to hell (he said “hot place”) for telling a lie and for claiming we broke his heart when he was upset once, we didn’t get a lot of over-the-top stuff with him. (That came later.) Baby Girl, on the other hand, has a flair for the dramatic. She has been this way quite some time (she has tried giving her brother away on several occasions), and whenever she gets upset with us, she lobs all sorts of accusations at us.

When Baby Girl doesn’t get her way, sometimes she handles it fine, but other times we get the little pint-sized tyrant raging around, stomping her foot and other nonsense. The other nonsense these days is telling us we don’t love her anymore.

“Nobody likes me! There’s not a person in this house who loves me. I wish my mommy and daddy loved me. I’m so sad now.”

Lord. We tried reassuring her that we love her when she first started that, but now our reactions are more like RDJr’s above.

And, in addition to not loving her, she also isn’t our friend anymore. No screen time? “I’ll never be your best friend again!” She also uses this one when kids don’t play with her, whether she knows them or not.

She also accuses us of trying to starve her. The kid is a picky eater, which is frustrating (although I am, too, so I can’t complain too much), but I can deal with that.  Some folks wag their fingers at parents who fix more than one meal, but I’ve been there myself and know that with certain head-strong children, they’d rather go days without eating than give in. So, we make sure to get something she likes whenever we’re eating something she won’t go near. Sometimes, though, she refuses to eat the things she likes and even the things she asked for minutes earlier. I’m flexible, but I have my limits. If you don’t eat what you asked for, there’s no way in hell I’m making/getting something different.

(I hope she never mentions us starving her when we’re at an appointment with her pediatrician. She is a petite little thing.)

This doesn’t sit well with BG, of course. After grumbling, she eventually tells us, “You just want me to starve to death! I’m going to starve and you don’t care!”

Lord.

So…we don’t love the girl, we aren’t her best friends, and we try to starve her. What else? Well, one of her most recent comments wasn’t as dramatic as the others, but there was still an attempt.

After watching a TV show, she wanted another. I told her “No,” because we try to limit her screen time. Too much, and you’ll have a moody devil child on your hands. She wasn’t quite at that point when I told her “No” the other day, but she still voiced her displeasure.

“I just want a good mommy,” she told me.

Is a second RDJr eye-rolling gif too much? I don’t know what the poor child has done to deserve someone like me.

The drama will only increase, I imagine.

Half A Year Later…

So, my last post here was around Christmas, but you can’t see that, since I privatized all of my old posts some time ago. (Equal parts feeling blah on blogging and cringe and not wanting to keep stuff up that may get commented on that I won’t respond to, I guess.) But, yeah, it’s been a while. I quit blogging on my, ahem, poorly drawn blog, too. Because blah.

A lot has happened over the past few months. The boy graduated from elementary school and got accepted to a middle school with a theater program. He is very excited about that. His school year finished on a very positive note, from getting some awards/recognition for his achievements during his time there to having a (mostly) positive year as far as the bullying he dealt with in previous years goes. I think his growth spurt (a few and 30 pounds from last year) might’ve helped a little there.

The girl graduated from preschool and will start 5K in the fall, despite our initial reservations. We’re still worried, as she isn’t close to being on the level of other kids her age in many regards. (For example, she was rated at an age of 2.5 years on different things her occupational therapist evaluated her for.) But my husband talked to the principal of the school she’ll attend, and he encouraged us to bring her on and said they had services to help her. I’m not sure what will happen if her extreme meltdowns start happening there, though. We’re having her evaluated by a psychologist now to see if we can get to the root of those, so hopefully we’ll finally figure that out and come up with some strategies to help her.

Since both kids will be at school full-time in the fall and my husband will be in the office almost full-time, I’m thinking about getting a traditional job myself. (Instead of working from home.) As much as I’m not a people person, I worry about getting lonely (and depressed) being by myself for the better part of each day for most of the week. I’ll probably look for something part-time to keep my schedule more flexible. I thought about substitute teaching, since that’s pretty much the only thing that will allow me to be available to the kids before/after school and during vacations. I said I’d never go back, but *shrugs.* Until the girl gets older, something like that would be best.

Our summer is underway, of course, and this week has been busy for both kids. Baby Girl has VBS and Little Man has a theater camp. Both programs are running on the kids’ old preschool/elementary school schedules. Aside from a sports camp for LM in a couple of weeks and swim lessons, we don’t have a lot planned. We’ve already done our primary vacation, but are hoping to do a long weekend at the beach before summer ends. Maybe LM will get the sorta lazy summer he’s always dreamed of.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ll try to catch up on some other blogs in the coming days/weeks since things will be slower. 🙂