Have a Merry Christmas and an Itchy New Year

Did y’all have a good Christmas, for those of you who celebrate?

Ours was nice. Since the parents/step-parents adjusted how they do things this year, we only had one place to go on Christmas day. That made the day so much more relaxed and enjoyable! The kids loved the gifts we got for them and were both sweet and well-mannered all day. (The other days is a different story lol.) I was so relieved that the girl didn’t have any meltdowns, and I’m sure things being less rushed and stressful for her helped a lot.

BG’s favorite gift was this giant lion.

Learning about lion and other large felines in general is her current thing, plus she almost always picks out stuffed animals when she buys a toy, so she was overjoyed to get this. Santa brought her that, a ball hopper with a lion on it, and a Teen Titans tower. We got her some other cool stuff, including a Power Wheels, which her dad probably regretted in five minutes after getting hit with it.

LM got some cool stuff, too, including the new Star Wars Fall Order video game he begged for and some LEGO sets, so he’ll stay busy for the rest of Christmas break.

My husband picked out this poster for LM. That is not a praying Pac-Man poster, as I originally assumed and was confused by. I’m sure most of y’all would get it right on the first try.

My husband won for most thoughtful gift this year. He had my favorite recipe of my grandmother’s printed on a cutting board for me. Looooove. He also got me a blanket with the kids’ pictures on it. One of my favorite gifts my stepmom got me was a pair of Blue Q socks. I so love those socks, and these suit me perfectly:

She got me a shirt that said “I’m not peopleing today” for my birthday, so she’s doing her part in helping me avoid people.

We got one Christmas present that we didn’t want at all. Baby Girl has been scratching her head for a couple of days, but I checked and didn’t see anything the first few times. I thought maybe this was another thing she was developing, like chewing on everything or licking stuff. Well, I checked again yesterday and saw some damn nits in her hair.

Oh. My. God.

I panicked because we’ve never had lice before and ew, fucking ew, fucking ew. None of the rest of us have anything in our hair, although a) I don’t trust my husband check me and b) I bought kits for everyone, so everyone’s hair is getting treated anyway. When I went through BG’s hair, I found an actual lice bug and cleaned out nits. It took over an hour to go through it all, and she has short hair. After doing a little research on it, I’m assuming she must have picked it up within a couple days before Christmas (probably at the gathering we went to, instead of school like I originally assumed) since what I found was relatively little. I used the ridiculously bright flashlight LM won at a Chinese auction to go through her scalp multiple times, too.

Now I’m itching everywhere. I was fine this morning when I woke up until I saw BG, which reminded me of the infestation, so I itched again. Yuck.

Y’all itching now?

Happy holidays.

About Anxious Mom, As Narrated By Morgan Freeman

While updating my About Me page, I decided to have a little fun with it. And since there has been an influx of new followers, I thought I’d share that page as a blog post. Welcome aboard, new folks.


Per the blog post title, you should read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice. 

Anxious Mom, who is known as “Mommy,” “Mom,” or “Momo” by her children, is a 30-something woman who resides in the Deep South. (And by “resides,” we mean “suffers” due to the unbearable heat and humidity.) She has two heathens — a son in middle school and a daughter in kindergarten. When the children aren’t busy tormenting each other, they torture their mother in ways only children can.

There are many things Anxious Mom enjoys doing in her spare time. If you ask her directly, she’d probably tell you that she loves reading and doing intellectual activities such as going to the museum. If you observe her in her habitat, however, you’ll find that she mostly watches shows on Netflix and plays games in her downtime. She is particularly fond of comedies, including The Office, Parks and Rec, Friends, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She has jokingly said that liking one of those shows is required to be friends with her, but through careful observation, we have learned it is not, in fact, a joke.

If you asked Anxious Mom about her background, she’d tell you that she did a brief stint as a teacher before becoming a stay-at-home-mom. Since then, she has done freelance work part-time, including providing content writing and editing services. Her primary job, however, is working as a chauffeur. This is where she truly excels in life, as she has a penchant for punctuality (as long as her children and husband don’t intervene) and safety. The mother, who we suspect was a hall monitor in another life, is proud of having never gotten a speeding ticket. She does, however, fill her swear jar every other day thanks to her time on the road, so she isn’t as goody-two-shoes as she seems.

As you can see, Anxious Mom is a blogger. Some people call her a mommy blogger, and that irritates her greatly. “I am a mom who blogs,” she maintains, as though there is truly a difference. She has blogged for five years and writes about herself and her family. When she first started blogging, she wrote a lot about her mental health, and it’s suspected that she’ll do so again. The rapidly-approaching-middle-age mother is also fond of writing blog posts where she rants about meaningless topics.

This concludes our glimpse into the life Anxious Mom. You can read her other blog posts or follow her on Instagram for other mundane insights into her life.

Nifty Fifty Survey

A friend of mine posted this survey on Facebook, so I copied it and saved it for an easy blog post. It’s not terribly interesting, nor does it reveal anything juicy, but at least you’ll know the thing that’s irritating me the most right now.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush?

Purple

2. Name someone who made you smile today.

Baby Girl. She finished eating and practically pulled her shirt over her head to show me her belly.

3. What were you doing at 8am this morning?

Driving home from dropping off the girl at school.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Getting breakfast for the girl — grits and potato rounds from Bojangles. I wouldn’t eat it if you paid me, but that’s her fav.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

Hmm…either a dark chocolate Milky Way or a Lindt chocolate bar.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Have a good day, love ya.”

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Cookies and cream

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. Do you like your wallet?

Not really. I wish it was bi-fold like my old one.

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Sugar-free chocolate pudding.

12. Did you buy any new clothes this weekend?

Nope. I did start Christmas shopping, though.

13. The last sporting event you watched?

USC vs Alabama.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Movie theater butter.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text messages to?

My stepmom.

16. Ever go camping?

Not since Little Man has been born I don’t think. We’re planning to soon, though, because BG keeps asking. RIP my back.

17. Do you take vitamins daily?

As far as my doctor is concerned, I take my Vitamin D every day. Just ignore the fact that the seal hasn’t been broken on the most recent bottle.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

No.

19. Do you have a tan?

Ha. No.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

Never. I don’t eat Chinese food.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I only drink Sprite Zero or Mellow Yellow Zero these days, and those come in a can, so no.

22. What did your last text say?

It showed a puke face. My stepmom was telling me something gross LM did at her house.

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

Chauffeuring kids, cleaning, cooking.

Lost #24 – have you seen it?

I haven’t seen it…so I guess this is a 49-question quiz, then. Not changing the title.

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

Books.

26. What color is your watch?

Brown leather.

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Mate.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Drive thru

30. What is your favorite number?

I don’t have one, but in general, I prefer even numbers over odd numbers.

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?

My husband.

32. Any plans today?

BG has occupational therapy today, so I’ll pick her up from school early and take her to that. Maybe I’ll do the dishes, too.

33. How many states have you lived in?

One.

34. Biggest annoyance right now?

The grass. My husband is apparently incapable of cutting our 3/4 acre lot (and only 1/2 acre has grass) in one go. He spends a few minutes cutting it over five days, then does a little weed-eating here and there. It fucking kills me. In fact, I texted him when I got home and noticed how awful it looked and bitched about it. He said he’d try to finish it tomorrow. I’m sure you can picture the steam coming out of my ears.

35. Last song listen to?

That Seagulls song by the Bad Lip Reading.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Why would I?

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?

I have before in preparation for parties. That’s not a regular thing, though.

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

I usually wear a pair of Skecher boat shoes. They’re super comfy.

39. Are you jealous of anyone right now?

The neighbor whose husband cuts and weed-eats his grass in one go.

40. Is anyone jealous of you?

I doubt it.

41. Do you love anyone?

Uh-huh.

42. Do any of your friends have children?

Some do.

43. What do you usually do during the day?

Take care of the kids and house, read, write. Fuuuun.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

Nope.

45. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?

I usually say “hey” or “what’s up.”

46. What color is your car?

Tealish.

Apparently #47 is missing, too. 

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?

Well, this survey reminded me that I’m pissy at my husband for being slack with the grass, so I’m thinking about him.

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Yep.

50. How did you get your worst scar ?

I fell trying to climb up the ladder to get back into a pontoon boat and scraped the top of my foot on some metal. It’s not a very impressive scar. The biggest scars are from surgeries, but you can barely see them since the surgeons were rock stars.

What’s annoying YOU right now? And don’t say this survey 😉

I. Hate. The. Heat.

It’s usually around mid-January when I see my South Carolina friends and family start talking about how they’re over the cold. And by “cold,” I mean that the high is usually in the upper 40s. Sure, we get a couple of frigid days here and there, but for the most part, I don’t have to wear a jacket.

This is how they think it is, and they wish a plague o’ the house of anyone who dare says they want winter to last longer than the 4-6 weeks that we get or complains about summer coming on.

I am not built to live in the south. I just am not. Temperatures over 75 absolutely suck ass, because that usually means it’s 85+ with the humidity. I feel miserable in the heat, I break out in a heat rash, and I’m cranky because heat. The only way I can deal with it is to be on a boat in the ocean or sitting on my ass by the ocean. Between the breeze and the ocean, my crankiness will go away at least. (And when went on a cruise a few weeks ago, it was actually 15 degrees cooler in the Bahamas vs. when we got off the boat in SC.)

It is hot as balls outside right now. I hate that saying, and it’s not like I have balls, but I feel like it works. It was in the upper 90s today, god knows what the real feel was, and even at 7:30 in the evening, it is 82 degrees in my house. Fuuuck. My poor AC can’t keep up, and a) we bought it last year and b) it is larger than needed for our house, but we got it wholesale and thought that as poor as our smaller AC performed, a larger unit would be more than enough. We. Were. Wrong. (But at least we have one, unlike many of the folks in Europe with that heatwave they had a week or so ago. I can’t even imagine.)

I’ve been trying to get my husband to move for years, but nope. He could relocate to Scranton, PA if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. (Just like he didn’t want to work in London for a year back when LM was small. SIGH. Not that I’m bitter over that or anything.) He said he doesn’t want to do all the snow, but I’ll take a couple months of snow for temps that are otherwise decent for the most part. He doesn’t want to move away from his mom and stepdad, which I understand, but I still don’t like the idea of having to live somewhere for that reason alone. Maybe I’ll fake a heat stroke on his ass and see if that sways him. (I know, I know, bad joke.)

This is my second ranty post in as many days. Did I say the heat makes me cranky, yet?