That Time I Thought I Was Going To Jail

This is a repost from over 4.5 years ago — with some light edits — so this will probably be new to most of you. A post I read yesterday about prank phone calls made me remember that time I thought someone from the sheriff’s department was on the way to pick me up.


I’ve been told that I’m a pretty vanilla person on this blog before, plus I’ve openly boasted about having never gotten a speeding ticket. As such, you might be surprised to learn that there was a time when I thought I was going to jail.

Back when I was 26, I tried marijuana for the first time. The boy was away (which I feel obligated to say, so the possible judgment is knocked down a tad), and my sister was home for the weekend. She is a marijuana aficionado and had been for quite some time. She made many, many efforts to get me to try it over the years, but I always declined. Not because I’m a goody two shoes (only partly), but also because I figured I’d look like an idiot considering how the three times attempting to smoke a cigarette went. (If you have asthma that you know gets really bad when someone else is smoking around you, trying smoking anything isn’t a great idea.)

I finally gave in. Peer pressure. It took a long time to get pressured into it, but by golly, it happened.

So, we went out to the carport and smoked. Well, I did two small puffs of the thing and coughed terribly and said that I’d just have a drink. That ended up being way more vanilla than you thought, didn’t it? No silliness, pretty lame as far as a story of trying weed for the first time goes. I’ve had enough wild times with alcohol to make up for that. Of course, those are probably still pretty tame compared to most people’s stories. The wildest things I ever did that I can remember was dye my husband’s hair red and take a bicycle for a spin around the block.

Fast forward to three days later. I got a phone call, which I screened because I don’t often answer my phone when I know who is calling, let alone when I don’t recognize the number.  I looked up the number on the computer and it was the local Sheriff’s Department.

WTF?

I had a slight mental breakdown because I’m the paranoid sort, and dammit, I knew what something bad would happen if I tried weed, and then the phone rang again. I answered.

“Is this E?” the deep voice asked.

“Yes…”

“This is the Sheriff’s Department and we wanted to let you know that we have a warrant for your arrest for doing illegal drugs and will be by to pick you up at 4:00.”

Click.

I burst out into tears. I was going to jail for the rest of my life for doing that illegal thing one time, didn’t even get the effects of it, and I was going to be someone’s bitch. Noooooo!

celebs_show_us_their_ugly_cries_14

My husband was working in his office and I went in there, crying still. “I’m going to jail!”

“What?” He looked rather amused.

“They called and are coming to get me. They have a warrant! I’m being arrested!” I sobbed.

“Why on earth would the cops call you to tell you that they’re arresting you and give you a chance to get away?” he asked.

I didn’t know the answer to that question. I didn’t know how cops do warrants with stay-at-home-moms who pose no threat to anyone.

“Well they are!” More tears.

He took my phone and looked up the number to verify that it was indeed the Sheriff’s Department. “This doesn’t make any sense. Who did you talk to? I’m calling them to find out what’s going on.”

Just at that moment, the phone rang again. Same number. He answered it. “You do know that she has certain Constitutional rights and that you can’t just come arrest her with no proof of something that was done on private property,” he barked into the phone without saying “Hello.” Crap, he was going to make me stay in jail longer.

Then he shook his head and handed the phone to me.

“Hello?” I was shaking.

“We’re coming to get you now. Be ready,” the deep voice said.

“I’m sorry, I won’t ever do it again!” I pleaded.

And then, “Bwahahaha!” came a high-pitched laugh, one that I had grown up with, belonging to my sister. “Man, I got you!”

As it turns out, there is something you can pay for to mask your phone number and put in any number you want to pop up on someone’s caller ID. Combine that with a voice changer purchased in the toy section from Walmart, and my sister had gotten me for a mere $10.

I wanted to kill her, of course, but considering how happy I was over the fact that I wasn’t going to jail at the moment, I laughed. Later I realized how easily it would be for someone to fake being from the credit card company or whatever using this masking technique to rip you off. (So don’t trust the caller ID!)

For the record, I used to play a lot of pranks on people and still do, occasionally. My sister and I had been engaged in a prank war at that point. She certainly won with that one.


What’s the worst prank someone has played on you?

Guess Who’s Back, Back Again?

Anxiety’s back, tell a friend
Guess who’s back, guess who’s back?
Guess who’s back, guess who’s back?
Guess who’s back, guess who’s back?
Guess who’s back?

Considering my last post, I couldn’t help but use some of the lyrics from Without Me. Plus, the boy rapped the whole thing in the car yesterday, so it has been in my head. Considering he can remember something like that he’s only heard a few times or the entire lines from a play (seriously, his and everyone else’s), yet forgets I asked him to brush his teeth five seconds later, I think I should start rapping my commands to him.

Brush your teeth, teeth right now.
Brush them good, brush them good,
Brush them good, brush them good,
Or you’re grounded, you’re grounded, yes you’re grounded.

It needs work.

I recently wrote a post mentioning my reduced anxiety, and I must not have knocked on wood as usual. Nah, really though, I think it’s more that I just suck at picking up on things. You’d think someone who has had bad anxiety since she was a little kid would be more aware, but I’m not great at being in tune with my body. For the record, it’s still true that my anxiety is reduced compared to years ago, but maybe not as much as I thought at the time. Once I zeroed in on the anxiety, I realized that this issue has been building up over the past few months.

I’ve been avoiding going out shopping as much as possible lately. I’ll order whatever I can from Amazon, which I’m sure my mail lady loves, and most of the rest of the stuff is ordered through the Walmart app. We have Grocery Pickup at our Walmart, so I can just pull up to the side of the building and someone brings my stuff out. I’ll shop at Target or Aldi when it’s not busy, since those places don’t bother me much early in the day, but I avoid everywhere else like the plague if I can help it. I’ve never cared for crowds (and shopping at Walmart is never fun), but it just leaves me more unsettled than normal lately.

On Sunday, we went to get lunch and then went by Target afterwards. By the time we were in the car heading home, I was so agitated that when I got home I took a Xanax just to calm down. I was agitated because of the noise in the restaurant, how crowded and noisy Target was, how noisy my damn car was. Thanks, children. I put in my earbuds when were were halfway home because I felt like I was going to snap. (I wasn’t driving.) And I have definitely been snapping more over the past few weeks.

Combine that with going out to a play on Friday night and not wanting to talk to anyone because I was struggling with hearing, more of the same on Saturday night, plus not wanting to touch publicly used things again. (Salt shakers and ketchup bottles and other items touched by the public are becoming my nemesis again.) My husband asked me on Sunday if my anxiety was getting bad again since he had noticed these things. And I realized — yes it is, in ways.

I think a lot of it’s due to my hearing. My cochlear implant hasn’t been as helpful as I had hoped it be. It started off working well, as in I progressed from hearing clicks and robot-y sounds to voices and real sounds quickly. And within a few months, I scored high on the tests the audiologist gave me. Progress halted, though, and my speech in noisy environments hasn’t seemed to improve at all. (Speech in one-on-one situations in quiet environments was great, though.) My directional hearing is awful, and when I’m out in public, if someone talks on that side, I don’t usually hear them unless they tap my shoulder to get my attention so I can turn and face them. I’ve becoming increasingly self-conscious about my hearing and add to that background noises being more overwhelming, it’s a mess. I don’t know if there’s a sensory component or if anxiety is just making that stuff more noticeable and worse as a result.

The hearing thing has me so worried about my future. What kind of job can I get in the real world where I can either control my environment or limit most conversations to one-on-one with little to no background noise and avoid phones? I can’t come up with many job prospects in my area outside of teaching. I can keep the classroom quiet as needed and move around to talk to the kids. But I really don’t want to go back to teaching. I also don’t want to take a year’s worth of college classes so I can get recertified. I may not have a choice if I can’t come up with something else, though. Freelance writing is great, but isn’t exactly a career. I know I shouldn’t worry too much about that right now since I have a few years before I’d go full-time anyway.

I have an appointment with my primary care doctor soon, so I’m going to ask her about taking propranolol again. I took it for social anxiety several years ago, and it helped somewhat. It’s meant to treat high blood pressure, but is also good for anxiety because it helps you stay calmer and keep from going into panic mode. If she won’t prescribe it, I’ll ask my psychiatrist when I go in January. Hopefully it won’t interact with anything I’m currently taking. I’m also going to schedule an appointment with my audiologist and see what adjustments she can make.

Boo anxiety, but at least I’m a) aware and b) have a plan. That’s much better than in the past when it was running the show 24/7 with no end in sight.

90s Children, What’s Up?!

Little Man discovered a new-to-us show on Hulu called Fresh Off the Boat. It’s about a Chinese family that relocates from DC to Orlando, FL and has to adjust to suburban type living. It’s also set in 1995, so I have been loving seeing some reminders of my childhood. I was 11 years old in 1995, just like Little Man is now, so that somehow adds to the neatness factor a little.

The boy loves the show. In fact, the little Benedict Arnold bastard has been watching the show behind my back, leaving me to catch up on my own. That might sound harsh, but he did the same thing to his dad, who wanted to watch Green Arrow and Flash with him. We’re both on the verge of disowning him.

The main character Eddie is quite the slacker and loves the rap/hip-hop stuff that was all the rage in the 90s. Think Biggie, Tupac, etc. I never listened to them because I’m vanilla as fuck and have zero interest. The CD I had on repeat then was the soundtrack for The Baby-Sitters Club Movie. It was replaced a couple years later when Hanson released their Middle of Nowhere album with MMMBop on it. Did I say “vanilla” already?

The funny little brother.

The boy has been listening to a lot of music on his phone lately. He has entered the earbuds stage of adolescence — you know, the one where they listen to music nonstop and don’t want to speak to you as much. It’s a double-edged sword because you like talking to them, but they also tend to be smartasses, so it’s nice to skip out on that. I’ll admit, I haven’t really paid attention to what he listens to, because he builds his playlists out of the stuff we have on iTunes. The most kid non-friendly thing we have on iTunes that I can think of is a Weezer song called Can’t Stop Partying that talks about partying and drugs.

I can’t stop partying, partying
I can’t stop partying, partying
I gotta have Patrón, I gotta have the beat
I gotta have a lot of pretty girls around me

It has some explicit stuff when Lil Wayne comes out and raps. It was the song that made me realize I should pay more attention to the music I play. That happened when the then 4-year-old LM started very clearly singing about mixing alcohol with pharmaceuticals in line at Chick-Fil-A. It’s not a good defense, but since I struggle making out the lyrics to a lot of songs (unless I read them a bunch of times), I didn’t take notice of the lyrics. I started trying to play closer attention after that. (But still failed at least once when Baby Girl sang No Scrubs.) But, like I said, as far as LM is concerned, I don’t pay much attention these days because there isn’t much of anything in our library that LM shouldn’t listen to.

You see, what I didn’t know was LM’s dad put Amazon Music on his phone. And there’s a shit ton of stuff to listen to on that.

What I also didn’t know was just how much LM has taken a liking to the kid Eddie from the show, namely his love for hip hop. So he started listening to all sorts of hip hop and rap, including Tupac, Biggie, and Eminem. (For the record, I did actually like Eminem in my later teen years.) I discovered this when my best friend who has my Amazon info asked me about why I was listening to so much rap all of a sudden. I wasn’t, of course, so I asked my husband, and he told us about LM’s new musical interests.

Oh boy.

I realize now that I wrote three paragraphs on LM’s new music, and that’s really not where I was going with this, so back to the 90s stuff.

Fresh Off the Boat has been fun to watch. When I was watching with LM, it was cool to point out some of the stuff that he’d otherwise have no clue about, like the damn Internet modems that hog your phone line. Who remembers this sound?

I had a love-hate relationship with that sound. I absolutely loved the sound of connecting to the Internet and doing all of the things that made me feel so mature, even if I did accidentally make myself a target for being kidnapped in Yahoo chat rooms by divulging my age and too much personal info. (Every 90s kid with Internet access did that, though.) But those of you who had dial-up modems know how long that shit could take, and eventually the love of hearing the dial-up noise went away as the rage took over.

How dare you take 5 minutes and 42 seconds to connect me?! 

And damn it all to hell when someone would pick up the phone or you’d randomly get disconnected.

Oh and the times when I left it connected all night while I downloaded music from Napster and then Limewire and then Kazaa. (Granted, we’re in 2000 by that point, but it’s still childhood/young adulthood stuff.) Anything short of picking up the phone to call 911 for a heart attack and disrupting my downloads was deserving of a beat down. I tried to download movies as well, but they mostly ended up being porn videos, so I stopped that. (If y’all wanna talk about some scarring shit, try being the most vanilla and naive 15-year-old in the world and opening a very rough porn.)

The show talk about Zimas, which I had never heard of until a few years ago when my husband took a trip down memory lane. He appreciated the reference. The kids have Sunny D’s and Lunchables. Sunny D is the best, and I still buy it from time to time. I could never understand the appeal of Lunchables. Some of the kids are clearly in their Nirvana/grunge phase. The slang.

Releasing anything remotely related to the 90s is a surefire way to make money. I’m looking at you, manufacturer of the Oregon Trail game I spent $30 on. Everyone in my class loved using that old computer with the big ass floppy disk to play that came.

Watch it if you’re looking for something new and funny. It’s not as funny as The Office, but it has a lot of great moments.

What’s something from your childhood you’ve seen make a comeback or would like to see make a comeback?

Back To School

After a week at home following the tonsillectomy, the girl is back at school this morning. I was worried she’d need to be out longer, because even on Saturday, she was cranky, complained of headaches, wasn’t eating or drinking much, and was tired enough to be napping. She did a 180 yesterday, though, and aside from a bit of crankiness, she went through the day just fine. She actually ate more regularly and drink a bunch of water, so I know that helped!

BG had her tonsils removed because of sleep apnea, and her doctor thought that it might help with ADHD symptoms in addition to snoring. I definitely haven’t noticed as much snoring over the past few days. I’m guessing it may take some time to see the ADHD symptoms decrease if we do at all. Oddly enough, we’ve seen more of the odd sensory behaviors (she is rubbing everything and sat in the bathtub running water over her hands for half an hour three times, for example), which we were hoping would decrease.

I was working with her on some makeup work for school when she felt up to it, and lord, it was like pulling teeth to keep her on track. I see why she brings home so much incomplete work. Part of the makeup work was working on handwriting. From what I’ve seen of the other students’ work on display, she has the worst handwriting in the class. She has developmental coordination disorder, so the poor handwriting goes along with it. She also has a summer birthday, which doesn’t help.

I feel bad for BG watching her try to write, because it’s such a struggle for her. A lot of her practice is tracing letters, but she is rarely able to keep her pencil on the dotted line. It blows my mind how I can show her the right way to form a letter and guide her hand over how to make it multiple times, and she does the opposite or something completely different directly after. You wouldn’t think that she had three years of preschool, almost a year of OT, and her mom helping her every day by looking at it, poor kiddo.

The girl’s teacher kept in contact with me over the week, checking in on her. I thought that was really sweet. It means a lot to know you’re leaving your kid in the care of someone that cares about her during the day!

Things are about to get busy again. My husband and Little Man are both doing the Christmas play with our local community theater group, so they’ll be practicing three nights per week. LM wasn’t going to do it at first because his free time is reduced since his school day ends later and he has to go to bed earlier, but the director messaged us and asked and he agreed to do it. He really enjoys acting, so even though it cuts down on his time after school, at least he’ll be having fun.

The girl wanted to sign up for Cub Scouts. She went to the first meeting and decided she hated it for some reason she wouldn’t give us, so that’s out. Her grandmother is relieved, because it gave her a small heart attack that her granddaughter wanted to join something that is supposed to be for boys (even though that group is co-ed).

I did so much of that during our text exchange over Cub Scouts.

We tried to get BG to try another meeting, but she had a meltdown and was sobbing, so we let it go. It would’ve been nice for her to have the opportunity to socialize outside of school, but whatever. The Cub Scout leader gave my husband a form for a popcorn fundraiser at the very first meeting and said we needed to sell $300 worth of stuff, so my husband wasn’t inclined to fight BG over it too much.

Here’s to a good week. Happy Monday 🙂

About Anxious Mom, As Narrated By Morgan Freeman

While updating my About Me page, I decided to have a little fun with it. And since there has been an influx of new followers, I thought I’d share that page as a blog post. Welcome aboard, new folks.


Per the blog post title, you should read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice. 

Anxious Mom, who is known as “Mommy,” “Mom,” or “Momo” by her children, is a 30-something woman who resides in the Deep South. (And by “resides,” we mean “suffers” due to the unbearable heat and humidity.) She has two heathens — a son in middle school and a daughter in kindergarten. When the children aren’t busy tormenting each other, they torture their mother in ways only children can.

There are many things Anxious Mom enjoys doing in her spare time. If you ask her directly, she’d probably tell you that she loves reading and doing intellectual activities such as going to the museum. If you observe her in her habitat, however, you’ll find that she mostly watches shows on Netflix and plays games in her downtime. She is particularly fond of comedies, including The Office, Parks and Rec, Friends, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine. She has jokingly said that liking one of those shows is required to be friends with her, but through careful observation, we have learned it is not, in fact, a joke.

If you asked Anxious Mom about her background, she’d tell you that she did a brief stint as a teacher before becoming a stay-at-home-mom. Since then, she has done freelance work part-time, including providing content writing and editing services. Her primary job, however, is working as a chauffeur. This is where she truly excels in life, as she has a penchant for punctuality (as long as her children and husband don’t intervene) and safety. The mother, who we suspect was a hall monitor in another life, is proud of having never gotten a speeding ticket. She does, however, fill her swear jar every other day thanks to her time on the road, so she isn’t as goody-two-shoes as she seems.

As you can see, Anxious Mom is a blogger. Some people call her a mommy blogger, and that irritates her greatly. “I am a mom who blogs,” she maintains, as though there is truly a difference. She has blogged for five years and writes about herself and her family. When she first started blogging, she wrote a lot about her mental health, and it’s suspected that she’ll do so again. The rapidly-approaching-middle-age mother is also fond of writing blog posts where she rants about meaningless topics.

This concludes our glimpse into the life Anxious Mom. You can read her other blog posts or follow her on Instagram for other mundane insights into her life.

GIF It Up

Yesterday, my husband was messaging me while I was waiting in the car rider line. He was supposed to have a meeting at 2:30, but it was a bit past 3:00, and he was still waiting on the guy from work to call. Since I was also playing Words With Friends, I just sent over a gif to express my thoughts:

His response:

Later on in the evening, after I got home and he had his meeting, we got to talking about the school psychologist who needs his throat punched.

“What we really needed was that gif of ‘What kind of shit is that?’ that you sent over yesterday to let that asshole know how we really felt,” my husband said.

I agreed. “Yeah, or something like this.” I hurriedly pulled up a gif on my app:

“Except louder,” I said.

And then an idea was born: the GifPad. We decided that having a tablet dedicated to pulling up gifs to express our emotions at any given moment would be the best thing ever. Because who wants to use words to express their feelings, amirite? Really though, some of those gifs really get the point across, and do so better than one of us going on a 5-minute long rant about why the psychologist was an asshole and how unhelpful he was with the girl. Plus, there’s the benefit of humor. It’s funny, so other people are less likely to get all pissy. It’s like how Southerners add “bless his heart” to things after saying an insult, except a modern solution.

Here are some situations where the GifPad would come in handy:

When your tween mouths off for the umpteenth time, you could go with the Michael Scott “I’ll kill you” gif, but since you’d probably want to avoid a visit from CPS, this would work better–

When your dad, who knows you have liberal beliefs, sends you the millionth meme on why Donald Trump is America’s savior and why liberals are idiots–

When your mother-in-law has fucked her computer again, despite telling her many times not to download attachments in emails from people she doesn’t know–

When some asshole takes 20 minutes at the Redbox and reads through the description of Every. Fucking. Movie. and then walks away–

When your husband pisses you off and tries to initiate sexy time later–

When your doctor wants to discuss your health at your well visit, when all you wanted was to get your blood drawn and flee–

And when your kid’s teacher wants to meet with you to “discuss his progress”–

I could also use that one at least a dozen times per day when people don’t talk loudly enough for me to hear.

The GifPad will be also configured with gifs that express positive emotions, but I won’t be using that, because smiling awkwardly works just fine for me.

What situation would you rather use the GifPad instead of words?

She Forgot She Is A Girl

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I actually wouldn’t mind brewing you a cup today. We had a 3-day cool down, which ends this afternoon, but it was still a crisp 58 degrees this morning. Yesterday the high was 79, and between that and a breeze, it was absolutely glorious. We will return to the high 80s and 90s starting today for lord knows how long, but the reprieve from the heat was much appreciated.

We’ve had a pretty good week. The boy got his progress report on Thursday and had all As and one B. That’s a huge improvement from the three report cards he got in fifth grade (for his school, they only get report cards the last half of fifth grade; the rest of their 5.5 years there, they simply tell us whether they’re meeting expectations or not). Middle school is looking good on him so far.

The girl also got a progress report, and it said she is meeting expectations. We will have a 504 Plan meeting with her school on Tuesday. The VP was supposed to get stuff going on speech and occupational therapy services through the school before the school year started. So we’ll talk about that and other possible accommodations. Her teacher hasn’t had any complaints, so there probably won’t be a lot accommodations wise at this point, aside from stuff like preferential seating and using noise-canceling headphones. (She already takes care of that, but I guess it’d be good to get it in writing.) She manages okay until she gets home, and then she lets all of her pent-up frustrations loose.

I have been getting so cracked up at some of the papers BG brings home. Sometimes — mostly with math — she’ll scratch out the problem and write her own and answer that. “I don’t like their yucky questions,” she said. “I want my own problems.”

Here’s an example of one, although this one is more of a misunderstanding. She thought they messed up by not putting anything on the plate when it told her to count the objects and write the number, so she “fixed it.” ❤

The kids have taken an interest in scooters. LM’s friend sends him videos at the skate park, so LM wanted to try with a scooter he got for Christmas a few years ago. And since LM wanted to do it, so did BG. My husband took the kids to a church to scoot around in their parking lot this morning. When they came back, BG ran in and told me she had her very first scar. I asked where it was, and she yanked down her pants and underwear. 

“Look, it’s on my penis!” she informed me. “My very first scar is on my penis!”

Oh boy.

There was no scar. There definitely wasn’t a penis. I reminded her that she is a girl and girls have vulvas, not penises.

“Ohhhh…I forgot that I was a girl for a little while,” she responded.

That child.

We don’t have any big weekend plans. We’re going to a friend’s birthday party tonight, but that’s it. We’re going to take it easy tomorrow, and then we’ll get started on a busy week that will end with BG’s tonsillectomy.

Nifty Fifty Survey

A friend of mine posted this survey on Facebook, so I copied it and saved it for an easy blog post. It’s not terribly interesting, nor does it reveal anything juicy, but at least you’ll know the thing that’s irritating me the most right now.

1. What is the color of your toothbrush?

Purple

2. Name someone who made you smile today.

Baby Girl. She finished eating and practically pulled her shirt over her head to show me her belly.

3. What were you doing at 8am this morning?

Driving home from dropping off the girl at school.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Getting breakfast for the girl — grits and potato rounds from Bojangles. I wouldn’t eat it if you paid me, but that’s her fav.

5. What is your favorite candy bar?

Hmm…either a dark chocolate Milky Way or a Lindt chocolate bar.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud?

“Have a good day, love ya.”

8. What is your favorite ice cream?

Cookies and cream

9. What was the last thing you had to drink?

Water

10. Do you like your wallet?

Not really. I wish it was bi-fold like my old one.

11. What was the last thing you ate?

Sugar-free chocolate pudding.

12. Did you buy any new clothes this weekend?

Nope. I did start Christmas shopping, though.

13. The last sporting event you watched?

USC vs Alabama.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Movie theater butter.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text messages to?

My stepmom.

16. Ever go camping?

Not since Little Man has been born I don’t think. We’re planning to soon, though, because BG keeps asking. RIP my back.

17. Do you take vitamins daily?

As far as my doctor is concerned, I take my Vitamin D every day. Just ignore the fact that the seal hasn’t been broken on the most recent bottle.

18. Do you go to church every Sunday?

No.

19. Do you have a tan?

Ha. No.

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?

Never. I don’t eat Chinese food.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I only drink Sprite Zero or Mellow Yellow Zero these days, and those come in a can, so no.

22. What did your last text say?

It showed a puke face. My stepmom was telling me something gross LM did at her house.

23. What are you doing tomorrow?

Chauffeuring kids, cleaning, cooking.

Lost #24 – have you seen it?

I haven’t seen it…so I guess this is a 49-question quiz, then. Not changing the title.

25. Look to your left, what do you see?

Books.

26. What color is your watch?

Brown leather.

27. What do you think of when you hear Australia?

Mate.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?

Drive thru

30. What is your favorite number?

I don’t have one, but in general, I prefer even numbers over odd numbers.

31. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone?

My husband.

32. Any plans today?

BG has occupational therapy today, so I’ll pick her up from school early and take her to that. Maybe I’ll do the dishes, too.

33. How many states have you lived in?

One.

34. Biggest annoyance right now?

The grass. My husband is apparently incapable of cutting our 3/4 acre lot (and only 1/2 acre has grass) in one go. He spends a few minutes cutting it over five days, then does a little weed-eating here and there. It fucking kills me. In fact, I texted him when I got home and noticed how awful it looked and bitched about it. He said he’d try to finish it tomorrow. I’m sure you can picture the steam coming out of my ears.

35. Last song listen to?

That Seagulls song by the Bad Lip Reading.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Why would I?

37. Do you have a maid service clean your house?

I have before in preparation for parties. That’s not a regular thing, though.

38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

I usually wear a pair of Skecher boat shoes. They’re super comfy.

39. Are you jealous of anyone right now?

The neighbor whose husband cuts and weed-eats his grass in one go.

40. Is anyone jealous of you?

I doubt it.

41. Do you love anyone?

Uh-huh.

42. Do any of your friends have children?

Some do.

43. What do you usually do during the day?

Take care of the kids and house, read, write. Fuuuun.

44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?

Nope.

45. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily?

I usually say “hey” or “what’s up.”

46. What color is your car?

Tealish.

Apparently #47 is missing, too. 

48. Are you thinking about someone right now?

Well, this survey reminded me that I’m pissy at my husband for being slack with the grass, so I’m thinking about him.

49. Have you ever been to Six Flags?

Yep.

50. How did you get your worst scar ?

I fell trying to climb up the ladder to get back into a pontoon boat and scraped the top of my foot on some metal. It’s not a very impressive scar. The biggest scars are from surgeries, but you can barely see them since the surgeons were rock stars.

What’s annoying YOU right now? And don’t say this survey 😉