Getting Better In Da Hood

I’m not one for making New Year resolutions these days, but I did have one goal in mind for this blog in 2021 — post more. And here we are, almost halfway through the month, and nada. That changes today.

(Not the “posting more” part, because while I still intend to do that, who knows with me, but there being “nada” on this blog for 2021 changes.)

Off we go.

First, I’m going to address my last post — the one where I admitted to saying one of the cringiest things ever and causing myself not to get the med change I needed at the time. (It’s All Good In Da Hood, if you missed it.)

So, I did end up reaching out to my psychiatrist. Over the course of two days, I drafted an email that I deemed worthy of sending. (I wasn’t sitting there for two days, obviously, but I had to keep going back to it and fine-tune the email so that I made sure I got my issues across without a) sounding cringy and b) sounding like I needed to be committed.) I got a response pretty quickly and then a phone call the next day where we discussed a medication adjustment.

I’m now the proud owner of a bottle of Lexapro. It’s an SSRI indicated for depression and anxiety. (And not to be taken by itself if you have bipolar disorder, because yikes. Works well with a mood stabilizer, though.)

After some time on that, I seriously feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest. I am much calmer, far less cranky/irritable, and am generally in pretty good spirits. (And considering the absolute SHITSTORM going on in the U.S. over the past week, feeling calmer is saying something.) The few anxiety attacks I’ve had have been less intense, too.

While I’m doing better, I am sad to report that BG is not. She has been having some severe anxiety lately, which means a ton of meltdowns. She was bitten by my MIL’s dog, so some of it is tied to that. And then there was Christmas and starting back school, so with all of that bleeding into each other, things have been difficult for her at times.

I talked about it with her occupational therapist last week, and I swear, this chick is an absolute godsend. Her advice has been on point, plus she has been sending me some resources to help with BG and shifted the focus of their last two appointments to coping strategies, identifying emotions, that sort of thing. She’s also helping us find a child therapist. We’re hoping to find a therapist who has experience with girls on the autism spectrum.

I put up some dry erase vinyl sheets in the kitchen/living room area with a visual schedule for different parts of the day for BG. Her OT mentioned how helpful she thought that’d be. And while it is very helpful,  BG thinks that anything not on that schedule means “it ain’t happening for anybody.” I had to run errands after school yesterday and planned to leave shortly after BG got home. (I wasn’t taking her with me.)

“The schedule doesn’t say ‘Target’ on it,” BG informed me. “So you can’t go.”


I went after hanging out with her for a while, which she wasn’t very happy about. My husband said she repeatedly asked when I was going to be back while I was gone. (I’ve noticed a little separation anxiety lately, too.) The child ended up tracking my location on the iPhone Find Me app to see where I was and how long it would take me to get home.

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Now for the boy…he’ll be a teenager in a few weeks. Let me tell ya — little boys can get stinky. Not-so-little-boys? They have a funk that smells like onions and sweaty socks. GAG.

He has been doing well. He got a few video games for Christmas, so that’s his focus right now. He mentioned his bestie starting virtual and having a math class with him, which he’s ecstatic over.

“We get to text each other during the class and make fun of the teacher.”

His face totally lights up talking about her, too, so I wonder if that best friend territory will end up in crush territory for him. She came to his birthday party last year, and it was pretty obvious she was in the latter territory.

My husband is doing well, too. He was recently recruited for a new role in his company and found out he got it. It’s a pretty big pay bump and work he’s excited about doing, so 2021 is off to a good start for him in that respect! We are going to celebrate on Saturday night with steaks and good booze. (At home, of course.)

How is your year going so far?

All Good In Da Hood

I saw my psychiatrist earlier this month, for the first time since the beginning of the year. I went in armed with a list of things I wanted to talk about on my phone, but still blanked. Deer-in-headlights, “Things are good. Just a bit of anxiety. All good in da hood.”

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No, I’m not fucking kidding on that last sentence. I have uttered that sentence more times than I care to admit to doctors because of being nervous or whatever. Some of y’all know me beyond the blog and get that this is way more awkward than it sounds. Seriously, I almost die a little inside every time I say this. I should probably ask for a note to be added to my chart on this. “When patient states ‘It’s all good in da hood,’ IT’S PROBABLY NOT.”

So, my anxiety medication was changed to a different as-needed med. It doesn’t make me drowsy, which is a plus, but it doesn’t really help much, which is a negative.

Maybe I’ll just email him.

“So…following up from my last appointment — the anxiety medication sucks. I think we need to discuss adjusting my other medication because — NAH, IT’S ALL GOOD IN DA HOOD.” 

My practice email won’t even let me not say this.

I had a medication screw up last week. I realized Sunday night that I missed two days of my meds in a row. I forgot one night (which is surprising, as I’ve only unintentionally missed taking the med once in three years) and fell asleep on the couch the other night and missed it. (I may have had a few drinks on that one.) I was feeling off as fuck, too. It clicked when I was checking to see if I needed a refill before Christmas and then saw what I had left vs. the refill date. OOPS. Considering one of the meds is an anti-seizure med that can…drumroll…cause seizures if you skip taking it (regardless of whether you’re prone to them), I’m lucky it wasn’t more than just feeling off.

I told my friend about it, and she was like, “Yeah, I was wondering. You were getting all up in your emotions, and you NEVER do that.”

That makes me wonder just how closed off I am when one never sees their best friend with a history of depression, severe anxiety, and bipolar 2 get up in her emotions.

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That they do.

In other news that is good-in-da-hood but in a non-psych way, we found a new show. I know y’all have been waiting on pins and needs to find out what the Anxious fam was gonna binge next. This one is Billions on Showtime. (Thank you Amazon for giving me a month of Showtime for 99 cents.) It’s about some dude who runs a hedge fund and is getting investigated and shit. It sounds boring. After the first couple of episodes, I was torn because the characters were interesting, but words like hedge fund, stock market, shorting stock, SEC (not the football conference), and the such are so boring.

It didn’t have that effect on my husband, who is interested in financial stuff by way of his profession (and he loves talking about it, woe is me, and double woe is me when I asked him what the heck a hedge fund even is). Some of the boring finance talk died down a little, though, and I am hooked. It helps that it has actors from three shows I love (Homeland, Sons of Anarchy, and Breaking Bad). If you have Prime and need a show, go see if you can get Showtime for 99 cents and try it out.

Okay, it’s bedtime and the kids are fighting, and it’s not good in da hood at the moment, so I’m gonna wrap it up.

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Ho, Ho, Ho

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Christmas time is here
Crankiness and drear
Pain for all that mothers call
Their most stressful time of the year.

Or something like that. 😉

We’ve been getting into the Christmas spirit since the beginning of November, when we put up our lights and inflatables and projector and other decorations up outside. We got the tree and decorations up inside around the beginning of December. I’m not sure which is tackier — inside or outside, but we’re enjoying it! (We being everyone except my husband, who prefers strands of clear lights inside/outside and nothing more. That will not do for me. I NEED COLOR.)

I did some baking/treat-making on Sunday so I could put some tins together to hand out. I dipped and stirred and shooed away my husband and kids all day long. Quite a few goodies had to go to Baby Girl’s pile since they got some BG germs on them. I went to the bathroom once and came back to find her licking her fingers.

Oh, she grabbed one of the dipped Oreos that hadn’t firmed up. Shit, no, that one has fingermarks, too. And that one. And that one. And that one. Her plan was to poke each one until she found a “good one.” (Since there’s a pandemic and all, I feel compelled to say that nothing contaminated went out.)

I have some more baking left before the big day: caramel pies, a cheesecake, and sweet potato pie.

Basically us:

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The boy has one more day left of virtual learning before his Christmas break starts. Hopefully the teachers won’t give any assignments beyond what can be completed by the end of the day. Or won’t give them anything at all, because Christmas. The in-person kids were moved to at-home for the two days this week, so BG has packets, which aren’t getting lost only because the packets are fun, short, and Christmasy.

I usually get my gift-wrapping done on Christmas Eve, but I’m ahead this time and have almost everything wrapped right now. (My husband’s nice bottle of liquor is staying stashed away until the last possible moment, because I don’t trust those kids not to drop it while looking to see what has their name on them.) My stepmom gave me this, which made things go much more quickly:

Fiskars 163060-1005 Paper Cutter Orange With Built In Ribbon image 0

I cannot cut straight with scissors to save my life and it always seems to take forever. But not with this! I thought it was an odd thing to put in a gift bag and give someone (which my stepmom did when we visited on Thanksgiving), but IT. HAS. BEEN. A. GIFT. Wrapping presents like a boss! (Does anyone even use “like a boss” anymore?)

I’ve been on point with our Elf on the Shelf this year. Only missed moving the little fucker one night! My husband and I have had fun with it, some of which wasn’t well-received by BG.

Winners: putting the elf in the candy jar with a note that tells her to have some candy. She also likes it when I stick him in the tree or on a shelf. (In my best EA Sports voice: “It’s in the name!”)

Losers: drawing devil horns on her school picture frame (with a dry erase marker). Changed it up during the day and doodled a fedora and platypus tail to make her Agent N. She also wasn’t not a fan of making him “go fish” for Goldfish crackers. She had some concerns about making messes and ants.

Speaking of fedoras, both of my kids asked for them for Christmas. Like, on their official Christmas wish list. I know it’s because of Agent P on Phineas and Ferb, but still…fedoras? It’s a bit weird, even for them. But they’re getting them, of course!

Okay, I’m worded out for now. (I’m writing at 1:00 in the morning and scheduling this to publish in a few hours.) Hope y’all are doing well!

Gobble, Gobble, MFer

There are a lot of things I hope for y’all, and chief among those is that you don’t get the reference in my title.

It’s not me just being vulgar or whatever again. I mean, it is to a degree, but it’s a reference to the worst movie I’ve ever seen. I’m hesitant to call it a movie because of how bad it is, and not in the sense that any of those super cringey rom-coms from the 90s/early 2000s were bad. This movie has elements of murder, Thanksgiving, and sexual assault committed by a turkey. The good/bad movie rating scale doesn’t cover this one. It’s called ThanksKilling, and I only saw it because a friend wanted to show us the worst movie ever one night when we were hanging out. HOORAY FOR FRIENDS.

Steam Community :: :: Gobble Gobble, Motherfucker!

See? Awful.

I’m sure that the ThanksKilling writeres weren’t the first ones to use “Gobble gobble, motherfucker,” but it stuck. And it’s the tagline for the movie.

Now that I’ve made you go WTF, let me get into our Thanksgiving activities.

I’m about 99 percent sure that I’d be content to do Thanksgiving at home forever. We briefly visited two sets of the non-quarantined grandparents as promised and then cooked our food, ate, and watched TV at home. It is the perfect situation for Baby Girl, who gets burned out very quickly on bouncing around to three other houses (where we stay hours) where there are always crowds of loud people in a small space. It’s anxiety-inducing for me, and downright hellish for her. Her Thanksgiving this year was meltdown-free, plus she didn’t have to be subjected to any “picky eater” comments.

My dad was a bit of a dick when we visited him, but it was done privately at least (and it wasn’t a total surprise). I got the “You’re being paranoid [by not coming for the full Thanksgiving because of COVID], you’re living your life in fear, this is a hoax created by Democrats who want to take over the world and hurt Trump, only idiots believe in this” and more spiel. Standard fare, right? We cut the short visit shorter than planned and went home to tend to a “turkey emergency.”

Gobble gobble, MFer.

What are you thankful for? Not having to endure three hours of Trump ranting and raving, for starters.

Stepping away from the negativity (hey, I gotta vent somewhere), we truly did enjoy our non-traditional Thanksgiving. My husband cooked an amazing turkey, I made some amazing pies, and that’s really all I need to be happy with my Thanksgiving meal. (We did have mac ‘n cheese, corn, dressing courtesy of my stepmom, rice, gravy, and rolls. It was a carby meal.) My kids and I also started a Friends themed LEGO set someone gave me as an early birthday gift, and we enjoyed the hell out of that. Baby Girl said it was the best Thanksgiving ever. ❤

Here’s a way better Gobble Gobble turkey gif:

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If you live in the U.S., how was your Thanksgiving? 

Panxiety 2020

Okay, usually I use panxiety to mean a combination of a panic attack and anxiety. But in 2020, I’m redefining this to be a mashup of pandemic and anxiety.

She’s making a list, checking it twice…

And it isn’t the Christmas shopping list, the Thanksgiving grocery shopping list, or even the Christmas movie-thon list. Nope, it’s the “Psychiatrist Day list.”

(Okay, I’m just trying to be clever…of course I’ve already made those other lists. In fact, the movie list has been on my phone since 2017.)

Y’all, probably: 

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I haven’t seen my psychiatrist since January. We are supposed to check in every 3-4 months, but between the pandemic and holding off to do in-person instead of Zoom, I just haven’t gone in. And, yes, I’ve gone other places, but I was dragging my feet on driving a 2-hour round trip for a 15-minute appointment. I do a lot of that, dragging my feet. Anyway, that will change in early December since I’m finally going in then. And I’ll be prepared since I’m making a list of issues and stuff.

Things have been up and down this year, with right now being down as fuck. Depression is moderate, so that’s relatively okay, but anxiety is just awful right now. I have Xanax to take for it when it gets bad, but it doesn’t seem to help. One tablet doesn’t take the edge off and one and a half tablets just makes me super drowsy. Obviously I’m not trying to do super drowsy unless it’s bedtime. (And even then, Xanax puts me in a mini coma and makes it hard to wake up the following morning.) So something needs to change there.

Had I not already been down the “convinced it’s a heart attack and need to go to the ER” road, I would have been out of some money last week.

The anxiety aside, I just don’t feel like myself, either. I feel so flat and humorless and just…I don’t know. Where did I go? My creativity has taken a nose-dive for months now, so it’s not just pandemic stuff. I barely enjoy anything that I used to love. I’m in that place of wanting to go clean slate on the meds I take to manage bipolar and see if that gets me feeling normal. But that, of course, comes with potential issues. Something’s gotta give soon.

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The holidays coming up are not helping. I love this time of year, and they can be stressful under normal conditions, but this year — whew. Have any of y’all had the talk yet? I’m not a fan of The Talk. And that’s not, “Hey, let’s talk sex,” because that would be weird for Thanksgiving/Christmas, but, “Hey, we need to talk about how things are going to be different this year.” 

My idea: have small celebrations with the grandparents for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We take some low to moderate risks, but most of those risks involve masks and having the ability to distance or being outside and distancing. It gives us the ability to have a sense of normalcy for some situations while being mostly safe. (The exception to this has been my husband’s mom, who the rules don’t apply to in his book. Luckily we avoided her for a couple weeks before she got COVID.)

My small celebrations suggestion, apparently, is not a good idea. My husband thinks going to the various celebrations that are a) indoors, b) no one else will wear a mask, and c) range from 20-35 people is fine. No problemo, and even if there was a problemo, “the benefit outweighs the risk.” Sigh. Anytime this has come up over the past 8 months, we’ve ultimately done what he wanted. Like with his mom. (Despite him saying, “As always, we’ll do what makes you feel safe.” Except my success rate in this department is 0 percent.)

After much discussion, we will cook at home on Thanksgiving. This is mostly because of my MIL’s COVID situation. So, my MIL got COVID, and her other son ended up with COVID, because she talked him into staying with her to keep her company while she was in isolation. (And it came as a huge shock to them that he got it. They’re both doing fine, btw.) Anyway, her doctor told her to quarantine for an extra two weeks after her son’s infectious period is over, so her house is off-limits until sometime in early December. And since we can’t go to my MIL’s house, my husband doesn’t care so much about going to my family’s house. (I’m guess Christmas will be a different story if his folks are all well then.)

I told my dad we were not coming for Thanksgiving, but that we could stop by and visit that afternoon and spend a little time together and eat some pie that I’m bringing him. He went off about living in fear, the Democratic hoax that is the virus, etc. 


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And I have to go by his house this morning to drop off a phone for my stepmom since hers died, so if he’s home, I may very well see the Great Tantrum of 2020.


My kids’ school district is changing stuff up, so that’s a new set of worries, which I’ll save for later.

How is the last part of your 2020 going?


So, here I am.

A month later.

Apparently even in pandemic times when we aren’t going to school every day, playing sports, and doing a ton of other running around, things just get busy. Neglect-your-blog busy. (But not miss-your-shows busy at least.)

Almost a month ago, we spread my father-in-law’s ashes. It was about five months after his passing. We spread them at a river in the mountains, and it was just perfect because it was at one of his favorite places in the world. I thought it’d be incredibly difficult on everyone, but it just felt peaceful and right. I bought a bottle of his favorite moonshine and did a toast after it was over. To make things more perfect, I didn’t have enough cups and had to use some disposable bowls we had, and he would have just laughed his ass off at that.

The girl has been back in school for a full quarter now. So far things are good at the school. A few schools in the county have had to close temporarily for staff being positive/quarantined for COVID, unfortunately. Hopefully her school will continue to be safe. With people only in the building for two days and 60 or so people in the school max (and a much stricter mask policy in place), I’m holding out hope.

The boy is really getting into the swing of virtual school now. The first…six weeks, I think, he had to work through the weekend to finish everything. He has done better at keeping up with things and has been enjoying his weekends lately. He said as long as he has the option to continue virtual, he wants to do it through the rest of the school year since he’s liking it better.

We’ve been busy with our house. We had it appraised last month, and spent 3 weeks straight working on projects. And after that, I decided I wanted to remove the wallpaper in the kitchen for sure and paint. Y’all, I’ve read how wallpaper is a pain in the ass and takes so long, but it took me almost TWO FREAKING WEEKS to finish removing the paper in a fairly small area. In all fairness, I had to start and stop a lot because of the kids, but still, that was way longer than I anticipated.

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Ten days into it, I was looking online for more tips, and realized my husband bought me the wrong scraper. He said it looked good for wallpaper scraping, but it wasn’t one labeled for wallpaper. After he went back to Home Depot and got the other one, I finished very quickly.

I had to put a couple coats of primer on the wall and then a couple coats of the actual paint. Finally, three weeks later, it was done. I’m very happy with it!

Here’s an almost useless picture that shows the after and before.

To add to the busyness, I got a new writing job. I’m super excited about the company because this job has potential to go from freelance gig to an actual career role down the road. I basically have to read medical studies and summarize them (and add background and other relevant info) in a way that appeals to a layperson. (It’s all fact-checked by an MD.) I’ve done some medical writing in the past and am really interested in this sort of stuff, so fun! Busy but fun.

In some not so fun news, we’ve had a few family members test positive for COVID over the past month. Two had to be hospitalized, but are home recovering now. My MIL is the most recent person to test positive. Her period is almost up, and she never had any severe symptoms thankfully.

It was a mess, though. She wasn’t taking it seriously (she’s anti masks and all that shit), and was wanting to go out before she even heard back on her test. And even though the message from the doc she sent us a screen shot of said stay isolated for 10 more days, she still decided her quarantine was basically over and that it’d be fine for her to go out to eat. My husband has probably gotten a few extra gray hairs from this. After a great deal of back and forth with her, my husband told her he was going to let the air out of her tires if she didn’t stop. He wasn’t joking.

After a couple more days of nonstop complaining, she had a great idea — get her other son to move in for a few days. This son tested negative a couple weeks ago from a different exposure. She decided since he tested a couple weeks ago that he’d be fine to come stay with her. This son will never tell her no about anything, so he went, and he has some health issues and is high-risk. We were just like WTF?! Why??? She said her doctor said it would be fine, but I know it’s not fine and don’t buy that a doctor told her that for a second. I hate to be that person who bitches about her MIL, but whew, I could do a post and a half.

Her isolation period is supposed to be up on Monday. I told her that her son needed to quarantine for a couple weeks as well, unless he has another negative test, because now that he has been exposed to her for actual days, he could very well get it. “It’ll be all right.” Gahhh.

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So…how about Joe Biden?

Yay, Joe! Yay, Kamala! Yay, America!

I go back and forth between being overjoyed and feeling depressed that so many people were fine with Trump after four years. Four years ago, a lot of people thought some of his shit was just an act. Or hoped it anyway. He has proven to be worse than imagined, and between that and the pandemic, I would’ve thought Trump wouldn’t have had a chance. Crazy brain of mine.

I’m closing in on 1000 words, so I’m gonna wrap it up. I’ve missed reading y’alls blogs and hope to catch up soon!

How’s life?

Religious Sweet Creams

I’m sorta reposting today. It’s probably more repurposing, since I’m editing it a bit with some extra comments, but does anyone actually say “repurposing blog posts?” If not, it’s a thing now. I won’t even copyright it. You’re welcome.

This was written a few years ago. 

Last night, my husband and I were talking about Halloween. More specifically, we were talking about candy. I want the good stuff, and he wants whatever is cheapest. He’s like whatever the step up from Ebeneezer Scrooge would be, but for Halloween.

This is still true. We’ve compromised now to where we do a mix of good stuff and cheap stuff. 

Even if I haven’t always gotten into dressing up for Halloween or decorating for Halloween, I’ve always looked forward to handing out candy to kids. We would only get like two or three trick-or-treaters where I lived at growing up (rural area and all), and those were usually relatives. So now that I live in the only neighborhood in the same rural area, I enjoy handing out candy. And I don’t want to give out crappy candy that gets thrown away immediately after kids sort through it all. I also don’t like the idea that someone might come back and TP our yard if we give them a single tiny Tootsie Roll, as Ebeneezer might if I were to leave him in control of the candy. It’s only one night per year and it’s fun! Clearly it’s not a time to go in miser mode.

“Get out your computer and see what kind of deals we can get on bulk candy for Halloween,” he instructed me last night. He figured that if Imitation Chocolate Substance With Possible Traces of Plastic wasn’t going to cut it with me, that we could at least buy the ton that we need online and possibly save money over what we’d pay at the store.

I did my search and found this Christian-themed candy.


This candy mix is perfect for your church Halloween party! Trunk-or-Treaters love the included Bible Verse Buttermints, Faith Jelly Bean Treat Packets, Tangy Tarts Scripture Candy, Cross-Shaped Swirl Pops, Religious Fish Candy Treat Packets, Carried by the Lord Gummy Fun Packs, Religious Sweet Creams, God Loves Us All Printed Suckers, Tootsie Rolls® and Wonka™ Mix-Ups®. (200 pcs. per unit, 3 lbs.) Assortment may vary.

I laughed so hard while reading this description that I had tears running down my face. I’m a Christian, but absurd stuff like that kills me.

Scripture Candy. Lord Gummy Fun Packs. Testamints. Who’s job is this? I would 100 percent take a job that let me name religious-themed candy. Baptist? You get the “Burn in hell” cinnamon jawbreakers. Catholic? How about y’all get the Everlasting Life Everlasting Gobstopper so someone has something to get through the whole service? Ummm…Methodists get something plain. “We so vanilla” vanilla wafers.

It wasn’t a terrible price, but did lack the Good Candy requirement, so I passed. I’ll probably pick up a dozen bags of whatever good stuff is on sale next week when I’m out by myself. If one of the bags is something he loves, he might just study over the receipt in silence and not even complain. Wouldn’t it be nice?


While I’m sort of on the subject of religion, I saw something even more eyebrow raising yesterday evening.

On the way home from retrieving our pizza from Papa John’s, I saw some people standing by the road — almost in it — waving in such a way that it looked like they were trying to flag someone down. Thinking they needed help, I slowed down a bit to check things out, figuring that I’d turn around if it looked like something I could help with, or call 911.

I didn’t turn around.

The people were standing next to a white kidnapper-style van with no windows that had a huge sign that said, “Prayer Drive Thru.”


I don’t care who or what you believe in, that’s just creepy.

(I found out later that they were using it as a method of advertising for their church, in case you were concerned that maybe something fishy was going on. There are better ways of doing this, y’all, that doesn’t Killer Clown level creep folks out. Just saying.)

They are still doing this. IN A PANDEMIC. And they are all super old — like 70s and 80s. No masks, either. Someone quoted them on Facebook as saying that if it’s their time, it’s their time. And what better way to go, I guess. SIGH.

WordPress, Couch Licking, And More

Public Service Announcement

Let me get this out of the way…

There is a plague upon WordPress’s house. And that plague is the new editor.

I’ve used the classic editor for more than a decade. When they switched to boxes, I updated my settings for classic. And then another time, I contacted support to switch me back. But it looked like I was finally doomed to using the boxes on the last update.

I couldn’t find any info for switching back by search, and the most recent comment from support on one of the forums said they weren’t adjusting settings anymore. PANIC. I don’t like change. I’m still mad at Apple for changing the color of the music icon on the iPhone, and that was years ago. So moving away from the editor I used for work and fun — all the cuss words.

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Through luck, I figured it out. I went under “Posts” and when that opened, there was an “Add new” tab at the top with an arrow next to it. I clicked that arrow, and lo and behold, the option to post using the classic editor was there. Note: doing anything other than this gets me with the new editor. Don’t click “Add New” in the column on the left or it will give you boxes. Also, you have to sign in through for this.

Y’all are probably thinking WTH or don’t care because you use your tablets to post, and that’s great, but for the one or two of you who might miss Classic, there ya go.

Now that I have that info out of the way, I’ll move along to more personal shit. Nothing as juicy as the house that was taken, though.

First, what is wrong with my children? They fight over who gets to cuddle with me. You’d think that between me being built for comfortably cuddling two kids at once that they’d be fine, but no.

“I want the whole thing,” BG screams at LM.

Yes, “thing.”

“Stay on your side!” LM screams back.

“I don’t want a side! I want all of it!”

Yes, “it.”

“Well, you have to share OR ELSE.”

Cue BG balling up her fist and attempting to punch LM in the face. SIGH. I’ll tell ya, that little girl is stronger than she looks. Trying to manage her with one arm (with the bad shoulder) and keep her from attacking her brother isn’t easy. It’d be easier if her brother would move for a minute so I could deal with her, but no.

This happens every other day. Once they made a truce and agreed to each get one boob and over and avoid the middle, but I wasn’t entirely comfortable with that compromise. The last time we had a cuddle session, BG tried to cough on LM and told him she was giving him coronavirus.

Also, in the land of “What is wrong with my children?” WHY, WHY, WHYYYY will BG not stop licking the fucking couch?

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It is gross for so many reasons. She’ll either lick it or suck on it and leave huge spots. And GERMS. I threw the cushions in the wash the other day and made all sorts of threats if she licked the couch again (and I offered her alternatives since honestly, I know it’s a sensory thing but it’s so freaking strange), but the licking resumed after a couple of days.

Also, why do my children have to pick Halloween costumes that aren’t readily available? Last year BG wanted Beast Boy, and of course they hadn’t put out new Beastie costumes in some time. This year, BG wants Wolverine, and there isn’t anything in her size because either you get to be a baby Wolverine or a big kid Wolverine — kids still in toddler sizes don’t get to be Wolverine. LM at first wanted to be Hawkeye, but I couldn’t find anything for that. He’s in that weird place where kid’s costumes won’t fit and the adult costumes are too big. He then switched to Winter Soldier from the Captain America movies. I found a Wolverine jacket that has a masked hood and will pair that with some yellow pants for the girl, and I found a Winter Soldier shirt (it looks like his clothing/arm) and will add some other stuff to make it work for LM.

We are really looking forward to Halloween! It’ll be different since we won’t get to do any big festivals, but we’ll still have trick-or-treating. My neighborhood is perfect for distanced trick-or-treating, so I think it’ll be safe.

Last — has anyone watched the show The Boys on Amazon? It is so damn good. It shows what would happen if corporate America were in charge of real superheroes and stuff. It’s also an excellent parallel for the society we live in. (I won’t say much otherwise, because of spoilers. Just check it out.)

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How was your week?