I. Hate. The. Heat.

It’s usually around mid-January when I see my South Carolina friends and family start talking about how they’re over the cold. And by “cold,” I mean that the high is usually in the upper 40s. Sure, we get a couple of frigid days here and there, but for the most part, I don’t have to wear a jacket.

This is how they think it is, and they wish a plague o’ the house of anyone who dare says they want winter to last longer than the 4-6 weeks that we get or complains about summer coming on.

I am not built to live in the south. I just am not. Temperatures over 75 absolutely suck ass, because that usually means it’s 85+ with the humidity. I feel miserable in the heat, I break out in a heat rash, and I’m cranky because heat. The only way I can deal with it is to be on a boat in the ocean or sitting on my ass by the ocean. Between the breeze and the ocean, my crankiness will go away at least. (And when went on a cruise a few weeks ago, it was actually 15 degrees cooler in the Bahamas vs. when we got off the boat in SC.)

It is hot as balls outside right now. I hate that saying, and it’s not like I have balls, but I feel like it works. It was in the upper 90s today, god knows what the real feel was, and even at 7:30 in the evening, it is 82 degrees in my house. Fuuuck. My poor AC can’t keep up, and a) we bought it last year and b) it is larger than needed for our house, but we got it wholesale and thought that as poor as our smaller AC performed, a larger unit would be more than enough. We. Were. Wrong. (But at least we have one, unlike many of the folks in Europe with that heatwave they had a week or so ago. I can’t even imagine.)

I’ve been trying to get my husband to move for years, but nope. He could relocate to Scranton, PA if he wanted to, but he doesn’t. (Just like he didn’t want to work in London for a year back when LM was small. SIGH. Not that I’m bitter over that or anything.) He said he doesn’t want to do all the snow, but I’ll take a couple months of snow for temps that are otherwise decent for the most part. He doesn’t want to move away from his mom and stepdad, which I understand, but I still don’t like the idea of having to live somewhere for that reason alone. Maybe I’ll fake a heat stroke on his ass and see if that sways him. (I know, I know, bad joke.)

This is my second ranty post in as many days. Did I say the heat makes me cranky, yet?

16 thoughts on “I. Hate. The. Heat.

  1. I can’t handle it, either. I miss my mother and my Papa and my daughter, but you don’t see my Yankee ass tryin to cope with heat in The South. It made me sick. I mean, literally, I had the sickest years of my life there. My body is northern. Fire ants and skeeters and noseeums, and sunscreen and rashes all the time, and sweat, and chafing, and NO. Anxiety and biopsies and reflux and stress and stress and NO. All the time miserable and grumpy and wet and sticky. NO.
    I feel terrible for you there.
    Maybe troll the Scranton office for a new husband? I kid, but you know, that heat’s a helluva sacrifice.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You don’t have a ‘like’ button anymore, do you? Anyway, I’m with you on the heat thing … as a person with severe asthma, these temps in the 90s mean I am basically housebound. But, on the other hand, I hate the cold just as much! I well remember way back when I was married and my children were small, we lived in the mountains of Southern Virginia where it gets, as they say there, “colder than a witches tit”. One day I called my mother, who lived in South Padre Island, Texas, and was complaining about the sub-zero temps and she said, “Well, it was quite cold here, also … it dropped below 70°.” I hung up on her.

    Keep cool, and remember that it’s only 71 days ’til the official start of autumn. Oh, and by the way, remember that climate change and global warming are a hoax perpetuated by the Chinese 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do…ugh I hate that for you. I have asthma too but am lucky, as the heat hasn’t seemed to bother it too much.

      LOL cold at dropping below 70! That’s southerners for you, when it gets 65ish around here, you can always find someone wearing a hooded sweatshirt (and flip flops of course).


      Liked by 1 person

  3. I live just north of Chicago, so when I tell you that cold is overrated, I can speak from experience. But I also hate heat and southern heat is THE WORST.
    My parents lived in Chattanooga for four years and they raved about it but when I visited in the summer, I.Could. Not.
    I also hate humidity and we have plenty of that up here.
    It’s going to be 90 plus every day up here but we have to go outside in it because this is our Super Bowl right now.
    Sending you one of those misting fans and a beer.

    Liked by 1 person

    • What! I thought it would be cooler than that! I saw that Scranton gets in the upper 80s some (although I’m sure they have the occasional heat wave like anyone else), but it isn’t as long lasting.

      They make a mini AC now that fits on one of those metal tumblers. You fill it with ice. Sounds like we both need one!


  4. I’m in VA and the humidity makes everything else worse. But then my body doesn’t do well in the winter either. So I need it to be fall, 65-75 degrees year round with a one or two snow weekends and a few good days for the beach.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. We’ve had some hot weather, by which I mean mid-twenties. I’m not great in the heat and I couldn’t stay outside for long. I’m not great in the cold either. I need a constant 20 degrees to be happy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Girl, I feel you. We’re in our summer hibernation now, as it’s just too damn hot unless you can submerge yourself in some kind of water. We won’t really start venturing back outside regularly until September.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Girl. I feel you. I live in NC and I hate this heat. It’s now 95 degrees – 100 degrees on the regular, plus the heat index is killing me. My friends all love it, and look at me like I’m the devil when I say I can’t wait for winter. I grew up in NY for 10 years, and then we moved to NC…sure I had to walk 24 block to school in 2 feet of snow, but I’d rather have that again than this. Seriously might move to Seattle or Toronto in a couple years.

    Liked by 1 person

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