A Baby Girl Rundown

I said that Baby Girl deserves a post of her own, so here goes.

Right now she isn’t having a meltdown, kicking, screaming, spitting, biting the couch, or throwing crap. (Or banging her head on the floor — she finally stopped that.) She’s in her room playing with her “too-too” trains, so here I am pecking away at a keyboard, when I should be catching up on chores.

Things continue to be difficult with the girl. Rarely does a day go by that we don’t endure one of those rage fits. (They go beyond temper tantrums, so I call them rage fits.) Hell, rarely does an hour go by that she doesn’t lose her shit over something. Something as minor as her brother getting a sheet of paper out of the printer to draw on and not letting her snatch it out of his hands — even though he offers to get her a sheet — will have her absolutely roaring.

I do not get it. She goes from being super sweet to screaming over nothing back to super sweet after it’s over. (Those moments can be fleeting or they have lasted up to half an hour.) There’s no middle ground. No being annoyed. No being frustrated. Just pure sweetness or pure anger.

I know that little kids have a tough time handling their emotions. Hell, it’s still not easy as an adult. So I get that. This isn’t one of those “expecting too much out of a little kid” things, though. Her reactions are just so extreme. I really don’t think we’re still in the “it could be just a phase” zone. Most of the time, it appears that she is set off by stuff that really shouldn’t be a problem. If even the most minor of things doesn’t go her way, then it’s usually meltdown town.

I know the word most people think when they see her acting like this: brat. Is she, though? It might seem that way when she loses it over not getting a TV show, a cookie, or going outside to play at the precise moment she wants. I can see why someone might jump to that conclusion, but I really don’t think that’s it. She isn’t spoiled. We don’t cave and give her her way. She isn’t typically one of those kids who expects to get crap at Walmart and who throws a fit in the aisle. So I don’t think it’s that.

Of course I’ve been reading and researching. We’ve tried all sorts of different tactics to motivate her to behave better. Charts, positive reinforcement, positive whatever else, timeouts, etc. The only thing that helps at all is giving her bear hugs. That doesn’t prevent the meltdowns, but it does help bring her down when it’s one of the longer lasting fits.

She doesn’t have these problems at school. She has had exactly one time-out in her two years of preschool. I know that some kids tend to bottle up a lot in those settings and save it for home, so I’m guessing that’s what is going on there. BG seems to be hitting all of the milestones, except for the physical and social ones. She still moves very much like a toddler, but between her small body and giant head, I guess that is to be expected. Hopefully she’ll catch up a little when her body proportions even out. Social…I think that’s still a tough age to size up. She doesn’t really interact well with kids her age, but she is usually the youngest/smallest of the kids her age. Even nine months can make a big difference, plus I’m sure it’s intimidating being so much smaller. She is very bright, though, and has one of the most charming and vibrant personalities I’ve ever seen when things are going well. 

I think she may have some sensory issues like her brother. I’m not sure that is an explanation for all of the above, but I do think they exist. I’m sure some of y’all recall what a picky eater she is. The kid wouldn’t go near solids until she was a year old and the list of what she eats is very small. (She does get enough calcium, fiber, and protein, plus she takes a multivitamin.) Maybe that falls under the sensory umbrella. The wrong clothes or shoes will cause a meltdown. (Not style-wise, but material/restrictiveness.) Noises are bothersome in the way they were with LM. She has a well-visit coming up, so I’ll ask — or insist — for a referral. Even if sensory processing disorder is a thing with her, I don’t know that it would explain for all of this. (Maybe it would, though, I don’t know enough about it.)

So that’s where we are, and it is absolutely exhausting. 

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13 thoughts on “A Baby Girl Rundown

  1. I absolutely think sensory issues. ❤
    Plus, the baby.
    I also think BG is so much like Moo, it blows my mind. Can I just tell you that Moo is an absolute delight, with amazing friends, quality leadership skills, and straight A’s? I’m not sayin the kid is without issues (you know, she’s a real person) but I have every confidence that if you just keep lovin that kid and parenting consciously, she’s gonna grow up and make you so glad you let her live through this insanity 😛
    I often look at Moo and marvel.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I read something that said sensory issues can have a kid so much on edge that the other little things just send them straight over. Hopefully we can see an OT sooner than later and figure it out.

      Good for Moo ❤ When did Moo start growing out of being all ragey? Do you have any tips for dealing with that? It’s like living in a war zone in this house. Everyone is so on edge lately.

      Shortly after I wrapped up this post, BG held a wedding ceremony for the two of us. All that sweetness ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • Sometime around 9, she sorta pulled all her intellect together and became a very cerebral, matter-of-fact sorta person. It’s not that she doesn’t have feelings or moods, but she isn’t quick to express any emotions. I’d say moving here made a HUGE difference, and that could be so many things — Daddy’s home more, but Sissy’s never here — she was Sissy’s pet… But the influence of grandparents, auntie, nephews, different kids… We have a huge yard now, and a swing set and a long drive… Could be so many things. Lots of times, I just think that her verbal communication was lacking. She’s demonstrative in her dislike and likes, but she used to scream a lot. I dunno. She’s practical. She’s a practical person. Honestly, the clothes can make or break Moo, with the sensory issues. I always worry about uniforms.
        She was like the Tazmanian Devil. LOL
        “You’re entitled to feel how you feel, but you’re not entitled to take it out on other people.”

        Liked by 1 person

        • Haha, we often refer to BG as the Tazmanian Devil, too.

          If the uniforms are an issue, are exceptions made at all? (I doubt BG will be going to LM’s school and need a uniform, but I’m just curious if schools recognize the sensory issues as a thing. LM gets to use noise canceling headphones as needed, but they consider that an ADHD thing.)

          Liked by 1 person

        • The uniforms for soccer, track, cheer, dance, show choir — I guess some are costumes, but you know.
          Thank heavens, only the older three had to wear school uniforms at any point.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. All of that sounds positively exhausting. We had that some with OCD and cognitive behavior therapy helped but it was a bitch of a therapy to go through with her. Wishing you all the strength in the world. I know it can be emotionally exhausting.
    We used to wait 10 minutes to get the socks right and cut the tags out of shirts. On the positive side that is all gone now and she graduated top of her class with a full scholarship.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is the first post from you to pop up in awhile so I’m not fully aware of the other instances. I agree that it might be sensory issues but also maybe mild autism? Are they one and the same? I don’t remember my research much with everything else going on.

    Mine is a huge picky eater and I often wondered if sensory issues played a part. Along with how unnerved she gets with loud noises. But the doctor says shes fine so I’m just going with it.

    If the bear hugs help I say continue with it. My little one gets upset easily and cries to the point of hyperventilating so I’ve taught her to deep breathe and blow breaths out. I hold her face in my hands and do it with her. It helps calm her and it might be helpful for you.

    I know how rough it can be. Just hang in there! Hopefully you get some answers soon

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, she mostly just gets her cuteness doodled these days instead of posted about. When she was 1, 2, or 3, a lot of it could be passed off as normal, but I think we have crossed a line where that doesn’t apply so much.

      I was wondering about mild autism, too. They’re not the same, but the sensory part is definitely part of an autism diagnosis. The big thing with autism is the social part, which I’m not sure about with her. With her being the youngest and so much smaller, it’s hard to know how much of her interactions are inhibited by being intimidated (or bigger kids not wanting to play with her) and how much of it is something else. The banging her head on the floor that she used to do, though, definitely made me wonder.

      Does your little one have an issue with textures, that sort of thing? I’m still picky as hell and I think it’s sensory related, since it’s mostly texture related. But at my age that’s just how it’s gonna be!

      I’ll try the breathing stuff with her, too. Thanks for the suggestion! Hopefully we can get a referral to see someone quickly.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh boy – sounds awful!! I have a friend at work, who has gone through the exact same thing with her daughter – she just goes ape-shit about the tiniest things. It could be a sensory processing disorder, or perhaps she is just particular in the things she likes and doesn’t like. I think, from what I have heard others say, that girls are so much harder to raise, because they are just so emotional. Maybe it is a control thing. Although wait a minute, I have a friend at work who has a boy – he is about 7 now, incredibly intelligent, well-spoken – but he can go nuts at the drop of a hat. His Mom has tried everything. Positive reinforcement seems to help, not focusing on the negative behavior. He seems to be getting better, he is now recognizing his behavior is a little over the top.
    My thoughts are with you on this one. It can definitely be wearing!!!

    Like

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