I said that Baby Girl deserves a post of her own, so here goes.
Right now she isn’t having a meltdown, kicking, screaming, spitting, biting the couch, or throwing crap. (Or banging her head on the floor — she finally stopped that.) She’s in her room playing with her “too-too” trains, so here I am pecking away at a keyboard, when I should be catching up on chores.
Things continue to be difficult with the girl. Rarely does a day go by that we don’t endure one of those rage fits. (They go beyond temper tantrums, so I call them rage fits.) Hell, rarely does an hour go by that she doesn’t lose her shit over something. Something as minor as her brother getting a sheet of paper out of the printer to draw on and not letting her snatch it out of his hands — even though he offers to get her a sheet — will have her absolutely roaring.
I do not get it. She goes from being super sweet to screaming over nothing back to super sweet after it’s over. (Those moments can be fleeting or they have lasted up to half an hour.) There’s no middle ground. No being annoyed. No being frustrated. Just pure sweetness or pure anger.
I know that little kids have a tough time handling their emotions. Hell, it’s still not easy as an adult. So I get that. This isn’t one of those “expecting too much out of a little kid” things, though. Her reactions are just so extreme. I really don’t think we’re still in the “it could be just a phase” zone. Most of the time, it appears that she is set off by stuff that really shouldn’t be a problem. If even the most minor of things doesn’t go her way, then it’s usually meltdown town.
I know the word most people think when they see her acting like this: brat. Is she, though? It might seem that way when she loses it over not getting a TV show, a cookie, or going outside to play at the precise moment she wants. I can see why someone might jump to that conclusion, but I really don’t think that’s it. She isn’t spoiled. We don’t cave and give her her way. She isn’t typically one of those kids who expects to get crap at Walmart and who throws a fit in the aisle. So I don’t think it’s that.
Of course I’ve been reading and researching. We’ve tried all sorts of different tactics to motivate her to behave better. Charts, positive reinforcement, positive whatever else, timeouts, etc. The only thing that helps at all is giving her bear hugs. That doesn’t prevent the meltdowns, but it does help bring her down when it’s one of the longer lasting fits.
She doesn’t have these problems at school. She has had exactly one time-out in her two years of preschool. I know that some kids tend to bottle up a lot in those settings and save it for home, so I’m guessing that’s what is going on there. BG seems to be hitting all of the milestones, except for the physical and social ones. She still moves very much like a toddler, but between her small body and giant head, I guess that is to be expected. Hopefully she’ll catch up a little when her body proportions even out. Social…I think that’s still a tough age to size up. She doesn’t really interact well with kids her age, but she is usually the youngest/smallest of the kids her age. Even nine months can make a big difference, plus I’m sure it’s intimidating being so much smaller. She is very bright, though, and has one of the most charming and vibrant personalities I’ve ever seen when things are going well.
I think she may have some sensory issues like her brother. I’m not sure that is an explanation for all of the above, but I do think they exist. I’m sure some of y’all recall what a picky eater she is. The kid wouldn’t go near solids until she was a year old and the list of what she eats is very small. (She does get enough calcium, fiber, and protein, plus she takes a multivitamin.) Maybe that falls under the sensory umbrella. The wrong clothes or shoes will cause a meltdown. (Not style-wise, but material/restrictiveness.) Noises are bothersome in the way they were with LM. She has a well-visit coming up, so I’ll ask — or insist — for a referral. Even if sensory processing disorder is a thing with her, I don’t know that it would explain for all of this. (Maybe it would, though, I don’t know enough about it.)
So that’s where we are, and it is absolutely exhausting.