Finding The Hat

While cleaning out some stuff pushed to the back of our wardrobe last week, my husband found his baseball cap. It’s a gray University of South Carolina Gamecocks baseball hat (for our 2011 College World Series win) that gives him permission to yell “Go Cocks!” or otherwise loudly talk about “The Cocks” wherever he goes without being looked at too strangely.

Here’s what it looked like brand new. Little Man has one just like it that I bought on sale that he’s been waiting to grow into for quite some time. Sam’s hat barely resembled this one after a few years of being worn regularly.


“E! I found my hat! I thought I’d lost it, but it has been here all this time!” he exclaimed after he pulled it out. He put it on and admired himself in the mirror.

I gave him a fake smile. “Good for you,” I said flatly.

He noticed my lack of enthusiasm (and possibly the light leaving my eyes) and quickly realized that I was the reason his hat had been missing.

“You hid it! I can’t believe you hid my hat from me! That’s so wrong!”

Did I mention that this hat is from 2011? Do you know what a hat looks like after it’s been worn everywhere for five years? In case you don’t, it looks like garbage. Even worse, it smells like garbage. (Reminder: he works from home, meaning he rarely has to wear grown-up clothes…meaning wears baseball hats a lot more than the average guy.)

“I only hid it because I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away,” I stated. This is true. I would’ve had the guilt had I thrown out something I know he loves. So I did the only thing I could do without crossing the line — hid it somewhere I knew he likely wouldn’t look.

After some back and forth over whether the hat belonged in the garbage, I gave in and decided that if I was going to have to continue seeing and smelling the damn thing on a daily basis, that I’d make it less disgusting. (Sure, I suppose I could have done that sooner, but he was supposed to come to his senses and throw the dirty old thing away.)

So, here is the hat after I threw it in the dishwasher, as I read that’s a good way to wash a hat, and it sure wasn’t getting hand-washed treatment. (No, I didn’t wash any dishes with it, in case you’re wondering. We would have surely gotten some illness, despite the sani-rinse.)

Yep, that’s the hat on the best day it’s seen in quite some time. It still looks dirty and like it’s about to fall apart at any minute. Sam was also really happy that I did something thoughtful for him in cleaning up his hat. I pointed out that it wasn’t for him, and after noticing that it shrunk up a bit when he put it back on, let him know what he looked like, A League Of Their Own style.

What thing have you wanted to throw out of your partner’s?


31 thoughts on “Finding The Hat

  1. Haha! I was about to tell you about the dishwasher thing. The Mister’s oldest cap is 24 years old. I don’t mind it.
    What I DO mind is the extensive military kip. Good gravy. I don’t know why we must keep all the things. Like, I get it, keep the cold weather boots and the dress unis and the expensive tactical tools, but we don’t need four trunks of stuff he’s never going to wear, ever, ever again. Yes, I’m sure, because he’s forty-effin-five and they won’t take him back ever, ever again. Mercy. It’s in the garage, under the holiday stuff, so at least it’s not in the house.
    The other day he gave some goggles to a coworker and he’s going to give another pair to a friend. Which is nice, considering he has a mess of em that he will never, ever use.
    Also, thank you for this opportunity to vent 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • 24 years?! Holy crap! I guess Sam should have had another good 5 years or so left before I started hiding it 😀

      Maybe that’s why he keeps it all, so he can be generous later, after annoying the crap out of you. 😉

      People talk about women hoarding stuff, but I swear it’s the men I know who hold on to every thing. My had has four barns and 2 huge storage buildings full of stuff he’ll never ever use again, never had any use for when he bought it…we’ll have to hire someone to come in and clean it out when the time comes.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Gonna have to remember the dishwasher trick, that’s a new one! I can’t tell you the crap my hubby has tucked away because well, because. It makes me laugh.

    Love the post dear!

    Liked by 1 person

    • My grandma used to do it with my dad’s hats, only she had some plastic contraption to stick the hat in to hold its shape and keep it from moving around. I didn’t consider washing the hat in there at first since I didn’t have the contraption, but read online it should work fine and it did!
      Thank you! 🙂


  3. N. says:

    I think we all have something of that sort lying around: something we love to pieces even though it’s hideous/smelly/falling apart and our significant other hates it 😂 My hubby had a shirt like that, wouldn’t get rid of it even though it was literally falling apart. We only managed to rid the house of it when I ‘accidentally’ ripped it while doing laundry 🙈

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The brown leather coat. He bought that coat almost forty years ago when we were dating, and he was about one hundred pounds lighter. It hangs in his closet and weighs about twenty pounds. I hated it from the day he purchased it. It is so ugly. I have tried for years to get rid of it. He will not have it. Absolutely refuses with venom. He will never wear it again, especially since we moved to Florida over twenty years ago. All I know is that if he goes before me that thing is going in the casket with him. :o)
    Thank you for sharing your post, I thought I was alone on this.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s more me that has the problem throwing out my favorite things. My husband begged me repeatedly to throw out my favorite t-shirt. It was just a few threads before I finally conceded and let him toss it. I’m still heartbroken.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Old shorts. Old shoes. Old hats. Old shirts. You name it, if it’s old and ratty and embarrassing to DW it will mysteriously disappear one day. I’ll go looking for it months or years after I noticed that I haven’t seen it and can’t find it. That’s when I know I’ll never see it again.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Probably TMI but my husband has this pair of “sexy” underwear. They’re basically boxer briefs made out of some kind of slippery nylon material. On their own, ok. But HE BOUGHT THEM 10 YEARS AND 40 LBS AGO. They are now indecent. He may as well be wearing a banana hammock around the house. I know my butt isn’t what it was 10+ years ago, but I’ve updated my damn undergarments. Sheeez. Sorry. Hit a nerve, I guess.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Time to pull a disappearing act on those. Or at least a hiding act. I don’t think a woman would ever wear something that old/after gaining weight, but men don’t think twice! Or at least I know mine wouldn’t, either.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. You take such good care of you man’said hat. I just toss hubby’s hats in the washer. He has a stack of hats. Loves his Marine Corp hats the best. Even hats he doesn’t really like to wear, can’t be gotten rid of. We just keep them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • They are certainly attached to them! I knew an older guy who was forced to part with his hat collection for a charity yard sale. The dude brought bag after bag, and each bag had at least 10 hats in it!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. My husband keeps his golf clubs in our bedroom. Near his bed. Other than that, he’s pretty good at not keeping crap. Oh, wait, I lie. There’s all the sporting equipment known to man and the shoes and kit to go with each sport. And more ethernet cables than we EVER will need.

    Liked by 1 person

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