Anyone who’s ever spent much time around a toddler knows that her favorite word is “No.” (Okay, maybe sometimes it’s “Caillou” because some asshole lets her watch it, but mostly it’s “No.”)
Baby Girl is no exception, and she started her Just Say No campaign against us months ago. Frankly, a toddler’s Just Say No campaign can be more annoying at times than the War on Drugs campaign telling everyone to Just Say No.
At first, she was saying “no” to the expected things — like taking a nap or having her extraordinarily shitty diaper changed (because in a toddler’s world, UTIs are a way to get extra juice when your bitch mom limits you to mostly milk and water). Then we discovered that she’ll say “no” to almost any question asked as long as the words “play” or “cookie” aren’t involved.
“Baby Girl, want to kick the soccer ball?” Little Man will ask.
And then she runs over and kicks the ball.
“Baby Girl, want to try some food that isn’t fruit, bread, or yogurt?” I’ll ask.
She’s for real “no” on that one.
“Baby Girl, want to go to Paw Paw’s house?”
Moments later, she’ll cry for her Paw Paw.
“Hey Baby Girl, do you like Clemson” Sam asked her. (We hate the Clemson Tigers around here.)
Yay, “no” worked as planned that time!
How about, “Baby Girl, do you think Trump should be president?”
Hell yeah, Baby Girl, you know what’s up!
Today, when she was misbehaving, I told her she had to stop throwing books (little heathen) or she would have to sit in timeout. “You don’t want to go to timeout, do you, so no throwing books.”
Instead of saying “no,” she gleefully rant to her little foam Thomas the Tank Engine chair (which was her brother’s once upon a time) and sat down. “Sit in time out!” she shouted. Sigh.