Come gather ’round bloggers, and I’ll tell you all about my weekend away. Given the nature of the weekend, some shocking stories may or may not be written about here, so don’t say that you weren’t warned.
My friend J and I went to the quiet little beach town of Myrtle Beach for the weekend, which is also known as Dirty Myrtle for reasons. Our first stop upon arriving was the ABC store. Makes sense, right? Can’t do Girls’ Weekend without the ABC store. Uh-uh. That’s almost as crucial as taking singles to the male revue, not that we did that or even talked about it. After stocking up on some pretty weak shit that we estimated would get us a little buzzed but not too buzzed, we grabbed supper and headed back to the hotel.
And then the party didn’t start. No, it was 9:00 and we were tired, dammit. We decided that we would work on our buzz on Saturday, after we had a good night’s rest. In the meantime, we watched a little TV, read our books, and touched base with our families, who weren’t missing us as much as they should have been in our estimation.
After the good night’s rest, I woke up to a beautiful morning. Now, I don’t generally care for getting up early, so I didn’t see the sun rise over the ocean, and I’m pretty sure I never will unless I just don’t go to sleep until after the sun comes up, so this was my view at 10:00: Verrrry niiice, right? (You should have read that in Borat’s voice.)
We had a late breakfast and went back to the room to get into our swimsuits. Since it was chilly out, we had on thermal shirts and jogging pants over the swimsuits. Hawt stuff, there. We also broke out our weak ass booze to properly start Girls Weekend. Only my friend had stuck the pouch thingies in the freezer, so nothing much came out of the spout. We tried to thaw out our drinks under some hot water. When that took too long, I decided to take matters into my own hands by grabbing the pocketknife I keep in my purse to cut the pouch open.
After all that effort, the weak booze tasted very shitty, so we didn’t have our drinks by the pool, after all.
The day was very relaxing, even without the drinks. We laid out on some deck chairs for a long time soaking up the sun (with me spraying myself down with sunscreen every 20 minutes and still getting a little burned) and reading. After the wind kicked up and it got too chilly again, we got into the indoor pool and later tested out the waters slides. One trip down the water slide, which I don’t have a good history with, was enough. I didn’t show off my goods, but I did suck down a ridiculous amount of water since I can’t slide and hold my breath for a few seconds, apparently. Coordination is not my thing.
After we had enough of the pool area, we went back to our rooms for a little bit and watched the waves rolling in from our balcony. Soooo relaxing. Are you jealous yet? At one point, I saw two dolphins swimming through, which was awesome as I’ve never seen a dolphin not in confinement before.
After the relaxing finished, we got ready to have supper with my friend Maple. I got all fancied up in yet another thermal shirt and jeans. I’m a master at style.
After dinner, we stopped by at a convenience store to get some drinks. I don’t do beer, so I grabbed a Mike’s Hard Lemonade, a Sex on the Beach, and a Screwdriver, all in aluminum cans. Quite the throwback to my college days! If only I had some huge bottles of Smirnoff Ice to round things out…
Then things got interesting when we got back to the room. Apparently five wine cooler-esque drinks and one beer total are enough to get three women in their 30s tipsy! Our wildness was limited to talking about the merits (or lack thereof) of Fifty Shades of Grey. Maybe that’s not quite the shocking story you were looking for, though.
We headed back after checking out yesterday morning. I was rather hoping that my kids would be excited to see me after being away for two days, but no. Little Man was mad about something when J dropped me off, so he barely hugged me. And when I asked Baby Girl for a kiss, she shook her head and said “no,” which is her favorite answer for every question we ask of her that doesn’t involve asking if she wants milk or something with carbs.
So, that was my weekend. Girls’ Weekend was a success, and I even came home to a house that was somewhat clean!