Mommy Went Ka-BOOM!

Yesterday while I was taking out the trash from the bathroom, I stepped on a piece of paper that had fallen on the floor. One leg went behind me and the other kinda turned in and I went down hard on my knee, the same knee I always seem to fall on or twist or something.

I yelled in pain, as doing a half split and falling on a knee that gets the brunt of my clumsiness didn’t feel very good. Little Man came running in to see what had happened.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” he asked, very concerned.

“Yes,” I said, wincing. “I just need to try to get up.”

“I’ll call Daddy!”

“No, Daddy doesn’t have a phone, I just need–”

“Then I’ll call 911 and tell them to come get you!”

“No,” I said. “I’m fine. I just need to get to the couch.”

Little Man helped me up and again said that we probably needed to call 911. I assured him that wasn’t necessary and made it to the couch. It was hurting pretty bad, but I did make it to the couch, so it was definitely not as bad as the time I tore my MCL. (Which I never rehabbed and likely contributed to the knee turning in so easily.)

It was swelling already, so I elevated it and waited for Sam to come home. He did, about an hour later.

“Daddy!” Little Man shouted when Sam came in. “Mommy fell and hurt herself again! She went ka-boom!”

Sam looked concerned. “I didn’t explode. I just fell and hurt my knee,” I informed him.

Again?” Sam asked.

“Yes. Again.”

“It sure sounded like a ‘ka-boom’ when you fell,” LM said. Lovely. Me falling sounds like a bomb went off.

Sam got me an ice pack and some ibuprofren and I rested my knee the rest of the day and most of today. It’s swollen and hurts, but seems okay. Whew, no crutches. I hate crutches. I can’t stand the smell of the rubber on the arm pads or the grips. And pain. I hate that, too. It’s a close second to the rubber smell.

“You fall down more than anyone I know,” Sam told me today.

“Maybe y’all shouldn’t leave stuff in the floor,” I responded.

“Maybe you should be used to moving around our obstacles by now,” Sam countered, grinning.

“You know they say that hearing affects your balance,” I said.

“Yeah. Your hearing. That’s it. You’ve probably been injured more times in the time we’ve been together than I have my whole life. My clumsy baby. And you passed it on to Little Man.” The boy has only broken something once, but he is bad about tripping over stuff and falling down.

I sighed. “Well, as many times as I’ve fallen on that knee, I hope I don’t need a replacement or whatever one day.”

“Oh, you will,” Sam said. “And you’ll need at least one hip replacement.”

“A hip replacement? I’ve never even injured my hips.” I did break my ass once, but my hips are gold.

“Wait until you get old. You’ll be one of those old ladies that falls down and breaks a hip all the time. You’ll get a hip replacement.”


My future.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re so supportive.”

“I try.”

And that was my exciting weekend. Last weekend it was Pukefest #2. The weekend before it was Pukefest #1. January 2016 was not very fun. Next weekend will hopefully be spent kicking off Little Man’s birthday week festivities and watching the Panthers win the Super Bowl. No puke and no injuries are my goals.


45 thoughts on “Mommy Went Ka-BOOM!

  1. “No Puke and No Injuries” sounds like the unwritten GreenDay album about growing old in the punk rock world.

    May you never have to have “bionic” surgery. May you never have to be a Life Alert Grandma. May you not tear anything anytime soon. May you not find a Lego in the middle of the night by using your full weight on the middle of your foot on a thick shag carpet at 3:42am on a Tuesday when you just want to get water and go pee.

    Seriously, stop falling. How you gonna chase after your kids when they’re teenagers if you keep injuring your stems? Feel better and heal well.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. My sister is accident prone too. The ER nurse has to pull her aside each time and ask her questions about possible abuse from her husband. Poor man. Half the time he’s not even home.

    She fell off a ladder for the SECOND time and he got calls from neighbors, the police and me to meet her at the hospital. And STILL they asked. Because WHO falls off a damn ladder two times and ends up in the ER both times? She had to get a pin in her ankle for that one.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. lolabipola says:

    Ouch! That doesn’t sound fun! My 6yo daughter falls ALL the time. But that’s Coz she doesn’t know how to walk – she only knows how to sprint everywhere sigh Luckily we haven’t had any serious injuries yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh I am sorry to read of your fall. :/ My Sissy one had to get a new knee at the ripe old age of 15. Plus rehab. My MIL got hers last year. The Mister will undoubtedly need some reconstruction. Knees seem unreliable to me. Mine must be excellent.
    I think there’s something to the ear thing. I’m accident prone, and always have been, but my ears are jacked up and I experience frequent vertigo, so I don’t think it’s getting better.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks and damn, poor girl!

      Sounds like you’ll have to join me in getting a Life Alert. Maybe they’ll have a cool smartphone app by the time we need them instead of that gaudy necklace shit.

      I’d probably be clumsy hearing loss or not, but my family always gave me such a hard time about being clumsy and breaking shit that I loved tossing that in their faces to make them feel bad. I don’t think it has much of an effect on Sam anymore.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. If Crash had told me “Mom went KA-BOOM” I would have said, “well she is the bomb”. Actually, now that I think about it, I did call a bomb in her birthday post! Anyway, If the house is rockin’ don’t come a-knocking. Come running. Someone fell down again. Hope everything heals okay. Perhaps you could just invest in a wheelchair now?

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Aw I’m so sorry to hear that this happened! I hope you have a speedy recovery. Silver lining seems to be that Little Man knows what to do in an emergency and wants to help.

    And there totally is a correlation between hearing and balance! It’s all connected.

    Liked by 1 person

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