So, I’ve been doing the Elf on the Shelf thing the entire month of December. Or nine days. In this time, I’ve only forgotten to move Rufus twice. (That’s approximately an 80 percent success rate!) I had to tell my husband to move the elf while in the car rider yesterday, but we’re getting there.
Of course, there was the time I hid him too good and Little Man’s Christmas spirit almost disappeared, but hey, I still moved the little fucker. Not my fault if the kid can’t find him.
My husband has been questioning my elf placing methods, though.
You see, some people do a great job with elf placement. They come up with clever things for the elf to do or place them in places/positions that one’s spouse wouldn’t question.
At first glance, it may appear that the elf is being tortured. But that is what my husband thought. “Oh my god, that looks awful!” he said. The elf is, after all, hanging upside down from a blind cord with his hands bound. But that’s not what’s happening. The Anxious Household isn’t the Guantánamo Bay for terrorist elves. In fact, what’s happening here is that Rufus is delivering a sweet note to Little Man. As for being bound? Like I said, I’m shitty at elf placement.
I’ve been reading StomperDad’s Daily Elf post each day and last night, I decided to copy him. He did one where his elves TP’d the house. Here’s my version where I TP’d a section of the Christmas tree (only a section because a) I don’t want to clean up later and b) I bought GOOD toilet paper this week, not the cheap shit):
“That doesn’t look right,” Sam told me after I invited him to check out my work. “Why is he stuck in that tube like that? It looks like he’s being tortured!”
Clearly the theme for the elf will be torture. Maybe I’ll connect Rufus to the car battery for my next act.