Little Man came home with a fundraiser form yesterday. At the beginning of the fourth week of the school year, we have a fundraiser.
And we aren’t complaining. Because Old School sends out fundraiser forms at the beginning of Week 2, and their fundraiser is fucking garbage. If you’ve ever been a kid or have one, you know the fundraiser I’m talking about–the one where they send home a fucking catalog full of horrible crappy shit, including overpriced stupid knickknacks and wrapping paper. On top of it all, Old School only let kids who sell like $1000 worth of stuff participate in the party, which really sucks in such a poor community where everyone’s hitting up the same people.
Can you tell I really hate Old School’s fundraiser? Hitting up everybody for garbage no one wants, shaming children…ugh. I’d much rather just write the school a check, but that wouldn’t be having the school spirit!
That fundraiser doesn’t exist at this school.
Instead of having that and five other awful fundraisers, New School asks for volunteer hours, has a supply wishlist, and then does a couple of much less hyped fundraisers.
The fundraiser Little Man came home with was a Fun Run.
You know how it goes–he has to run so many laps. (The school estimates about 30 on average.) And the sponsors pledge a certain amount. The people on a budget might pledge a dime per lap. The high rollers might pledge a buck. At the end of the day, it works out to be less money spent (but probably more donated to the school overall) than the Shit-A-Thon, you don’t end up with pricey garbage that gets put away for a yard sale, and kids exercise. Win-win-win.
That sounds lovely, right?
But when Sam and I read the form and realized what it meant for LM, we died laughing.
Our little guy is notorious for being the slowest person wherever he goes. When he sprints, which is rare, he’s the fastest. But when he’s jogging (or walking), he is very slow. He’s sorta like his mom, except for I was never fast, even when I tried. (It should be noted that when he’s told to hurry along, he will often say that he’s The Flash and has already lapped everyone. 😀 )
Little Man’s preference for going wherever he needs to go at his own speed has always driven his coaches crazy. They know how quick he can be, but he’s always content to either just barely keep up with the slowest person or goes at his own pace, which includes fighting dragons, running backwards, and catching bugs along the way.
I love it. It totally matches up with his personality.
But Little Man doing a fundraiser that involves running laps? The amount of money donated dependent on how well he’s focused and/or motivated at that particular moment? Oh lord. We seriously cracked up, as that school won’t likely be getting much off his sponsors unless we just ask a set sum.