My eldest child does not understand the concept of riding in a car and figuring out how to entertain himself, either by coloring books, travel games, reading, or simply thinking. He wants either a screen or his parents to entertain him.
I don’t know where we went wrong, but his refusal to allow us to enjoy adult conversation or listen to music means that we will shun Baby Girl in the car so she learns to entertain herself. That’s right, you boddler (I’ve invented this term for toddlers who still look like babies, since I’m not ready to move on to toddler yet), you’re getting the silent treatment.
Okay, maybe I’m kidding a little. At any rate, the little dude likes to talk constantly. As in always. So, since we feel inclined to interact with him more often than not, sometimes we play car games–I Spy, 20 Questions, Would You Rather.
Let me tell you something–20 Questions fucking sucks. Every time LM asks for that one, I feel my soul die a little. He tends to frequently misunderstand our questions in such a way that we never guess his item and he always wins. Which means he keeps getting to be the person to come up with the item to be guessed. And we are stuck asking question after question after fucking question. That’s his favorite game, too, which he asks for 99% of the time.
So, today on the way to school, we played Would You Rather. We haven’t played this one in a while. Not since earlier this year, when he asked all the morbid questions. I’m not sure why I would’ve thought anything would change this time around, but let’s just say, I was just as disturbed by his questions this time as I was the last.
Little Man’s questions:
Would you rather…
Your grandmother or my dog come back to life?
Have to eat me, Baby Girl, or Daddy?
Me or Baby Girl die?
Be electrocuted by a lightning strike or a power line?
Break your leg getting hit by a car or by falling from a flying eagle?
No, really. WTF, son? You want to know if I’d be a fucking cannibal and eat my husband and kids? DA FUQ?!
I will admit that I liked the last one. I answered that one with the eagle, of course, because a) I’m pretty sure no one has been dropped by an eagle and broken their leg and b) I think he got inspiration for that from The Lord of the Rings.
Would You Rather makes bringing the tablet along for rides not such a bad idea after all.