Cannibalism in Would You Rather

My eldest child does not understand the concept of riding in a car and figuring out how to entertain himself, either by coloring books, travel games, reading, or simply thinking. He wants either a screen or his parents to entertain him.

I don’t know where we went wrong, but his refusal to allow us to enjoy adult conversation or listen to music means that we will shun Baby Girl in the car so she learns to entertain herself. That’s right, you boddler (I’ve invented this term for toddlers who still look like babies, since I’m not ready to move on to toddler yet), you’re getting the silent treatment.

Okay, maybe I’m kidding a little. At any rate, the little dude likes to talk constantly. As in always. So, since we feel inclined to interact with him more often than not, sometimes we play car games–I Spy, 20 Questions, Would You Rather.

Let me tell you something–20 Questions fucking sucks. Every time LM asks for that one, I feel my soul die a little. He tends to frequently misunderstand our questions in such a way that we never guess his item and he always wins. Which means he keeps getting to be the person to come up with the item to be guessed. And we are stuck asking question after question after fucking question. That’s his favorite game, too, which he asks for 99% of the time.

So, today on the way to school, we played Would You Rather. We haven’t played this one in a while. Not since earlier this year, when he asked all the morbid questions. I’m not sure why I would’ve thought anything would change this time around, but let’s just say, I was just as disturbed by his questions this time as I was the last.

Little Man’s questions:

Would you rather…

Your grandmother or my dog come back to life?

Have to eat me, Baby Girl, or Daddy?

Me or Baby Girl die?

Be electrocuted by a lightning strike or a power line?

Break your leg getting hit by a car or by falling from a flying eagle?


No, really. WTF, son? You want to know if I’d be a fucking cannibal and eat my husband and kids? DA FUQ?!

I will admit that I liked the last one. I answered that one with the eagle, of course, because a) I’m pretty sure no one has been dropped by an eagle and broken their leg and b) I think he got inspiration for that from The Lord of the Rings.

Would You Rather makes bringing the tablet along for rides not such a bad idea after all.


52 thoughts on “Cannibalism in Would You Rather

  1. Your use of cursing also suggests how controlled you have to be with kids haha.. Well thats is one truth. Adult conversation are hard to make in car, you’ll be interrupted several times. Then when you talk to them then that never ends either. Somedays are fine somedays I just wish to listen to good music. A volume problem, her fav had to be played n blah blah thats not an easy way to go either. Well, games are good fun for a while too. You have written it too well, enjoyed completely 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Considering what he said about Sam after that bath they took, I’m surprised he didn’t try to convince you that he should be your emergency food supply. I love LM. Hire me and I’ll be like his living entertainment buddy. My form of payment? Gluten free cookies.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Holy shit this was funny. I mean Wow this kid has a brilliant imagination. It makes me wonder how the dynamic will be as BG gets older. You may really have your hands full.
    If it makes you feel any better I have discussed with my wife that in the case if an emergency I will eat her in order to survive. She has made peace with this.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Marielli_ says:

    Lmao omg I’m dying in a good and bad way creepy questions though he should stay away from zombie like shows ahaha walking dead stuff in his head there 😣😣

    Liked by 1 person

  5. i played 20 questions as an ice breaker one time. we put a post-it note on our forehead with a target. we were to ask 20 questions to figure out the target. i asked one question and then guessed correctly.

    have you ever played is it bigger than a bread box? it’s a variation of 20 questions. think of something and people ask yes no questions to figure out your item. the first question is always is it bigger than a bread box. put some limit on the number of questions if you want.

    then. again, you’ll have to teach little man the size of a bread box is and what it is used for. no, it’s not a refrigerator.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. OMG. I just laughed so hard I woke up hubby. Oops. Lol. We always take Kat’s iPad in the car. The trick is, we got her these Bluetooth headphones off amazon for $20, and now we can listen to music or have grow up conversation in the car, and she can play a game or a watch a show and be none to wiser to what is happening around her. Yeah….I’m that mom. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    • lol! Heck, they’re giving iPads to the kids in schools, so might as well be that mom, have her prepared! LM keeps a pair of headphones in the car, but only puts them on to block out BG’s crying. Loud noises will make him freak out.


      • We headphones for that, too. When Kat was really small, she would wear my Dad’s old shooting earmuff headphone things, and living in a very liberal area…yeah…haha. We use band aids to cover the things that make toilets flush automatically, not for boo boos. I have a list of tricks for too loud noises. Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  7. I absolutely said eagle as soon as I read it. I refused to answer any of the others. There is a part of my book where the main character dreams she is carried away in the talons of a large bird/dragon . I loved this question. I actually did break my leg getting hit by a car, I choose something very unlikely to happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I would have answered, “Well since you are talking to much and driving me crazy then I would of course eat you first!” My kids like to play “I spy with my little eyes” and like you, I cringe a little the moment I hear them speak it.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I had one of those too. I have always told my patient-parents, the bright ones will drive you crazy. The dull ones are easy-er to raise. This does not help when the child in question is YOURS. Thank goodness, mine survived childhood and is now 30. He is still difficult to raise, though 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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