Last year, Little Man wrote a book for my birthday called How To Play Batman. It was a cute book of about 8 pages, with his story (well, instructions for playing) and illustrations. He even had a page at the very back that listed himself as the author and illustrator, plus the date he published it.
Next to the page with all of that information was a page offering instructions for handling books. I suppose he thought his mom was a shitty reader of books and needed help, so as not to fuck up Batman.
LM found the book on my bookshelf yesterday and asked me if I remembered him making it, which I did. He then asked whether we could consider donating this book, plus the ten others he plans to create, to the library for everyone else to enjoy. I told him we’d have to think about that, since I wasn’t sure I wanted to part with the book(s) just yet.
What to not do with books:
First: don’t read books in the bath tub.
Next: don’t drink or eat while you’re reading.
Then: when you are messy don’t read.
And: don’t sit by fire when you’re reading.
Last: don’t eat the pages in the book.
The last one is funny!
I’m pretty sure that was one of LM’s first attempts at leaving me a passive-aggressive note, as I do pretty much all of those things. Except for read next to the fireplace, as I don’t want to catch on fire. But at least he was looking into future things I could to do fuck up while reading.
While on the subject of passive-aggressiveness, what is the funniest passive-aggressive remark that’s been lobbed at you?