My Husband The Cuddler

My husband and I are alike in a lot of ways. We generally like the same types of movies, laugh at the same weird things, share similar religious and political beliefs.

And then there are ways that we aren’t the same. For example, he’s a cuddler. I am not a cuddler. I am a “needs her own space, so back the fuck off” person. See my post Keep Your Distance to see just how much I don’t want people in my space. This doesn’t mean that I’m not affectionate with my husband–I hug him and other things–but I still want my space. Especially when I’m trying to sleep. I do not sleep with people touching me.

After I went to bed last night (a bit after my husband), he rolled over while mostly asleep to try to cuddle.Β As soon as I felt him roll over and sling that arm around me, my brain went:

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I could have woken him up all the way and told him to stop touching me get back on his 1/3 of the bed (he claims he only gets 1/10 thanks to my thrashing about all night, but that’s a total exaggeration), but I didn’t. I was nice. I decided to try to escape without waking him.

Do you know how hard it is to move a 200 hundred pound man? Especially one that is in a deep sleep?

It ain’t easy.

I attempted to roll him over, but barely budged him. I tried slinging his arm away, but he just slung it back. I tried moving towards the edge of the bed, but this just made him scoot even closer. I tried shoving my elbow into his chest–not hard enough to wake him, but hard enough to hurt a little to make him move.

After not having any luck, I thought, “Well, maybe I could sleep like this for one night.” My husband is always talking about how he wishes we could sleep with him holding me.

Thirty seconds later:

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It wasn’t happening.

“Sam!” I hissed, trying not to startle him and wake him fully. “Move!”

Nothing. I tried again, in a louder voice, but still nothing. At this point I was half convinced he was screwing with me, since he usually hears Baby Girl before I do when she wakes up during the night.

Desperate times call for desperate measures. I picked up the book from my nightstand and dropped it on the floor, resulting in a loud bang.

He woke up.

“Huh, what?” he said, half sitting up.

“MOVE.”

“What?”

“You’re on my side,” I said in a voice not unlike the one Sheldon Cooper uses to tell others they’re in his spot. “Go to yours. Love you.”

He moved.

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What does your spouse do to drive you crazy? It doesn’t have to be in the bed. πŸ˜‰Β 

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43 thoughts on “My Husband The Cuddler

  1. Hannah would always ask me to cuddle her, and I usually was not a fan, because it resulted in shoulder pain and a pinched arm the way she wanted me to do it. I would on occasion, if she seemed particularly anxious, but oftentimes then she would get uncomfortable and push me off anyway. The only way I liked it was if I was on my back (I am usually a stomach sleeper), and she put her head on my chest. We could get through half the night that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I read the title and thought, Snuggling! EWWW! so I think you know how I feel Like you, I have snuggly husband, who is most happy when he has fully encased me in his hot embrace, and then I feel like I cannot breathe, and I panic, and so, it’s highly romantic.
    My condolences.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bless this whole post. You can be Chris Hemsworth and you still need to sleep on your side of the fucking bed. That’s a peeve of mine. At least you can share a bed. I’m uncomfortable with even that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m a big fraidy cat. I need someone to be in the room with me or there’s no chance of sleep happening. As long as that someone doesn’t cuddle me I’m fine πŸ˜„

      (Chris Hemsworth made me reconsider my stance for half a second hehe.)

      Like

  4. I too hate to be touched while trying to sleep especially my feet. Just makes me freak thinking about it. L sleeps with us and she is a straight up mommy magnet and is always touching me. I spend half the night rolling her the other way. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mindy says:

    Pulling a nicely folded hand towel off the rail/holder and shoving it carelessly back into its place resulting in what (I’m sure) broken dreams look like. Unfortunately, we both like cuddling though! At least until it gets too hot, then I need my space.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well he hates to be touched in the night, after 6 years of marriage we now both have our own rooms….I need the window open and a fan on and he wants the heater on….so kisses in the hall and off to our own corners so to say….he also runs around behind me, I open the window, he shuts it, I put something on the counter, step away for a minute, its put away….I just go back and reopen the window…LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Omg! Me and my hubby keeps arguing on that. I never minded it before but now kids don’t leave me and when they do I really wish to stretch out or have no one weighing over me lol. Good post

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lol this is a cute post and I relate to the not being a cuddler and loving my space πŸ˜‰πŸ˜„
    My thing I am annoyed at is when A falls asleep during any TV show or movie even our new favorite Mr. Robot- if he was a dwarf he would definitely be “Sleepy” lol. he has even fallen asleep during walking dead. I told him I would rather him leave me to my own devices than hear his snoring while I try to focus on our show lol. It’s quite a comical thing I realize that I get mad because he’s asleep lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. lolabipola says:

    Affection has to be on my terms. Selfish, I know. But it has to be that way because if I’m agitated, I’ll punch him if he touches me (not really, but I certainly fantasise about it!). Our youngest sleeps with us, so I’m safe from my hubby’s cuddles, but oddly, I adore my little one sleeping with her face on my face.

    Like

  10. Husband’s body temp goes up 20 degrees when he goes horizontal. Then he wants to cuddle. He’s 30cm/a whole foot taller than me. I usually end up having a panic attack and kicking him. He’s also a heat-seeker, so he scooches over in his sleep till I fall off my side and have to walk around to get in his side. I don’t sleep so well…

    Liked by 1 person

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