Weekend Coffee Share: Pimp Sign, OITNB, and Vacation

Screenshot 2015-04-19 at 5.24.12 PM

Hey y’all–once again, I’m cutting it kind of close on the Weekend Coffee Share post.

So, if we were having coffee, I’d whip out my latest Goodwill find and show it off. I think this would be a good ice breaker for any coffee share, dinner party, pastoral visitation, etc.

Only set me back 99 cents.

You’re probably wondering what I’m going to do with this sign since I live in a house with two little kids. Well, I’m not going to hang it up beside my Sting sword over the mantle, I can tell you that. I’ll probably leave it in the trunk of my car until an opportunity presents itself.

If we were having coffee I’d tell you that it has been an unproductive weekend. I had visions of an immaculate house, everything organized, etc., by the time Little Man got back from the mountains (because getting that done when he’s actually here so isn’t happening), but I did very little. The reason for this is that Season 3 of Orange is the New Black is out, a show that can only be binge-watched. Laziness may also have played a role. As such, ignore the crumbs on the table and the totes that I’m planning to use for organizing stuff scattered about.

(Fun tidbit: while I was writing this post, my husband took the OITNB character quiz and found out that he was Alex Vause. This made him insanely happy.)

I’d also tell you that I probably won’t be participating in next week’s Coffee Share because I’ll be at the beach! (I totally wanted to add motherfuckers in my Leslie Chow voice after “beach” but didn’t, out of respect. Know I thought it, though.) I’m really looking forward to that because I have some mad love for the ocean. I’ll also get to meet fellow blogger Linden from Tweet Less, Blog More, which will be great! Hopefully we won’t trash up the place too much for her. Maybe I’ll hide my Pimp Plaza sign somewhere in her house. 😉

(Someone did that to my friend once. Her toilet was acting up and her husband took the lid off the tank and found a freaking butt plug. No joke. They couldn’t figure out who hid it there but suspected me. I had to sheepishly tell them I wasn’t sure what the hell a butt plug was for, so they then educated their naive friend, but still suspected me.)

Well, that’s all I have.

So, tell me what’s up with you. Have you ever found anything strange in your house?


23 thoughts on “Weekend Coffee Share: Pimp Sign, OITNB, and Vacation

  1. On my 21st birthday my friend hid a brand new dildo in my bathroom under the clean towels in the closet. My mother found it. I was prepared for a lecture on how “the real thing is better” but she actually was really concerned about where I had bought it. She had seen on some news show that sex toys made in China were toxic, blah blah. The best part was the end bit:

    “And really why do you need to buy one with lights? You’ll be feeling and seeing enough fireworks in the end!”

    As pay back, I hid an assortment of pregnancy tests under her bed which her conservative older sister found. XD

    Liked by 3 people

    • LOL awesome pranks! Your mom is so darn funny.

      On a kind of related note, my grandma once ordered a “personal massager” that she claimed she didn’t realize was a vibrator when I happened to retrieve it in the mail at age 14. I didn’t know any better at the time and was like “whatever.” She made a big deal out of talking about sending it back after being mislead and all, but when I was cleaning out her dresser after she passed away, it turned out she had not sent it back after all. 😀

      Liked by 4 people

      • Now THAT’S why I’m cleaning out all of my incriminating stuff before I die. You never know who is going to be going through my stuff. Well, I know, it will be my daughter. Nope, not letting her find any of that stuff!

        Liked by 1 person

      • LOL — oh my!

        I once wrote a parody of my life with my mom and this guy I dated. Half true story, half fiction — with his consent. Shared it online years ago. My mother won best supporting character AND best character in these online awards for that website. XD She is definitely something else, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I have not seen Orange is the New Black. I don’t have Netflix. But, everyone’s obsession with this show is making me want to get Netflix, specifically so I can watch it! I love binge watching shows, particularly on weekends like this one…where I have a ton of things to do, but want to avoid all of them. I haven’t gotten a thing accomplished. It is frustrating that a weekend without my son has been wasted by my procrastination, but it seems as though when I have too much to do I just get overwhelmed and end up catatonic on the couch instead.

    Liked by 1 person

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