Are You God?

Little Man has his own Facebook account. Before you threaten to burn me at the stake, it’s not under his name, his only friends are a handful of relatives that I added, and he is supervised while using the Facebook app on his tablet. His tablet time is also limited to about 45 minutes per week, if he earns it. So not only do you, anonymous reader, think we are shitty parents, so does he!!!

I’m sure all the disclaimers in the world won’t stop my spam from getting hit up with some stuff, so let’s move on.

He received the following chain mail message from an aunt last night. I also received the message. His response was rather different than mine, which was Why the fuck did you send me this?! I should egg your car tonight!

As I’ve mentioned before, the little guy tends to take things very literally. So when he read about how God had seen this and that in the message, he assumed that the only person who could know that was the big man himself and that his aunt must also be the big man by default.



35 thoughts on “Are You God?

  1. Holy sweet fuck. First, this was really funny. Second, that chain letter might be one of the craziest (and funniest) things I’ve ever read. And I think you should let your son have way more tablet time says the middle aged man who has no kids nor spends any time with kids but none-the-less feels qualified to dole out advice. I need an aspirin, all the math in that chain letter gave me a headache.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Geez. If you’re the shitty parent, what’s that make me? I give Crash 45 minutes per day! Give LM some slack πŸ˜€ Nah. You’re brave letting him on FB. Crash has asked and all though I’ve always said no, I have considered letting but only adding closest relatives. Stupid chain letters! Wish people wouldn’t send those things.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anxious Mom says:

      Haha! Then you win all the bad parenting awards and not me! πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ LM was text messaging the family like crazy so it was easier–on ME–to give him fb so he could use fb messenger on the tablet. He does get to watch some tv during the week, but his mood gets so horrible after much tv/tablet time.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. How disturbing she should have sent that. Chain letters cause me a great deal of consternation. I think I am probably the crappiest parent of all. My dog had a Facebook account that I never monitored. What do you think of that? Will you “Unfollow” me now? My husband had a Facebook account which his entire family followed, but he deleted it because every 10 seconds we were getting a message about what Jesus thought and all kinds of other religious poems and stuff like that. It was too much!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anxious Mom says:

      Lmao!!! Better watch out in case a petophile funds your dogs account.

      I hate Facebook. Just scrolling through the feed often makes me want to punch someone. Example, yesterday, someone told a girl she was spoiling her 3-week-old by holding her all the time and not letting her cry it out. 😑

      Liked by 2 people

      • What the hell. Why on earth would we want to know that. Besides, you can’t spoil a 3 week old. I feel sorry for that child, having an idiot for a mother and all. A petophile (Ha-ha-ha!!!!!!) Did you just come up with that?
        I hated that people on Facebook would say they were going shopping and then an hour later they would say they were back. Again, why do we need to know that?

        Liked by 1 person

        • Anxious Mom says:

          Just saying why I hate fb, stuff like that. Way too much idiocy for my liking. I’ll take mine in much smaller amounts during family visits πŸ˜‰

          Yes, I did, one of those rare clever moments. I was proud (and slightly disturbed).

          Lol, you had a great window of opportunity to practice your thieving skills though!

          Liked by 1 person

  4. If you forward that stupid chain message 14times and only 5 reply, what does that say about the other 9 miserable fucks who don’t answer? And does that then mean they’re no longer angels? I think it’s perfectly acceptable to give LM monitored access to tablet and FB, if nothing else, you have something to blackmail him with… “if you don’t do the housework and scrub mummies floors, you won’t get your internet access” I love his answer to the letter, I’m guessing he didn’t bother forwarding πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    • Anxious Mom says:


      My fav “God” thing so far has been LM asking if God is a hologram like on Star Wars. We were quite amused…his grandma not so much.


  5. This cracked me up. But what really cracked me up was him asking if God was a hologram becasue my daughter once asked if Jesus was a zombie (it was easter sesson, my husband plays a lot of zombie themed games on PS3). Her grandma (hubbys mom) was also not amused at all, hubby and i were impressed and dying of laughter. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  6. He has the perfect response to her FB chain mail- and how amazing that he knows how to text and FB!! Kids these days are better with computers than I am lol…LM probably knows way more than I do about FB πŸ˜‰ hehe


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