I loved playing practical jokes on people when I was young. Not so much anymore. If I want to make someone laugh, then I’m content with saying someone witty (and I am witty, dammit, whether you believe it or not) or showing them something funny on the Internet. I don’t need anyone to believe that my husband has a lime trapped in his large colon or that I fell off a small mountain and only twisted my ankle.
Those days are past me.
But guess who those days aren’t past? My husband and Little Man.
Yesterday evening, my husband comes into the bedroom where I am still doing my hideout thing. “Little Man, come in here and tell your mama what you did!” he barked.
Little Man came in with his head hanging down. “Mommy, I ran into your car with my go-kart.”
I looked at my husband. “What?!”
He nodded. “There is now a dent the size of a tennis ball on the car where he hit it.” He cut his eyes at LM and LM kept his head hanging down.
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I could feel my heart rate pick up and started freaking out. We had just fixed that damn car a few months ago after I hit a boulder and someone threw a brick at me while driving the car. It had cost $700. We had taxes to pay. I wanted to buy a PS4. THIS WAS NOT GOOD. (And oops, again, on my language.)
At my lovely f-bomb drop, Sam and Little Man started howling with laughter. “We got her good, Daddy!” Little Man said.
Then he looked at me, while laughing, and said, “Yes Mommy, we were fucking kidding you!” This, of course, made my husband laugh even harder, got LM laughing even more, while I’m sitting there stewing and trying not to laugh while fix the whole f-bomb thing.
LM climbed up in my lap, still laughing. “Yeah, you guys got me all right. Good joke. But don’t use the f-word Mommy used, okay?” (Is it just me or am I always having to backtrack with these kids and tell them not to do something I did?!)
“That was good, huh?” Sam asked. “You should have heard the prank he wanted to pull on you. He wanted for me to come inside and tell you that he had died, but I told him no.”
Those two absolutely deserve the best April Fool’s Day prank I can come up with, but unless someone has an excellent suggestion that involves a minimal amount of effort, I’m letting it go. I’m really hoping they aren’t going to do anything today and got their pranks out of their system yesterday.