‘Are You Freaking Kidding Me?’

Screenshot 2015-02-19 at 12.36.44 PM

The other day, Little Man didn’t stop playing his Xbox after I told him to twice. When I went back in his room, I cut off the system and picked up both controllers. Since his TV doesn’t have cable or anything, he can’t do anything without his Xbox. And no Xbox controllers means no anything on the TV.

Right after I picked up the controllers to walk out, LM said, “Dude, are you freaking kidding me?”

The hell?!

“Excuse me?”

“Dude, are you being serious right now, taking my controllers? Come on, man!”

I must have been staring at him like he was an alien. This is my first-grader, who has just turned 7–so why on earth is he talking like, I don’t know, a moody teenage surfer?

Before I could say anything else, he spoke again. “Please don’t take my controllers, Mommy. Give me one more chance, puh-leeeeeeeze!”

That was more like it.

“First, no, you’re not getting another chance. I told you twice to turn off the Xbox and you didn’t, so no more Xbox for today. Second, I’m not your ‘dude’ and I don’t want to hear ‘Dude, are you freaking kidding me again,’ got it? That’s extremely disrespectful.”

He nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“Where did you get that from anyway?” I asked, certain that the unlimited access to Nickelodeon he gets at his grandparents was the culprit.

“Well, that’s what you say all the time,” LM responded.

“What? No I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do, especially in the car, when other drivers are messing up all the time.”

I thought about it. He was right. I do talk like a moody teenage surfer boy when I’m driving. I suppose I should be grateful that I censored myself enough to use “freaking.”

“Yeah, well, Mommy shouldn’t use that kind of language. Even if the other drivers are messing up. So you don’t either, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. But what if someone messes up really super bad, can I say ‘Are you freaking kidding me’ then? Because my teacher really messed up the other day when she told us that all poems rhyme.”

“No, don’t say that, especially to your teacher!”

Another nod. “Hey, Mommy?”

“Yeah?” I held my breath…what would it be this time?

“Can you read me a book?” LM asked.



16 thoughts on “‘Are You Freaking Kidding Me?’

  1. This cracked me up! I had a very similar thing happen yesterday. My soon to be 5 year old got in trouble for hitting her sister. I took away her barbie. 5 minutes later, she had it again. When I told her she was still in trouble, she looked at me with a deadpan expression, “Still? Mommy you really need to get over that.” I think my jaw stayed on the floor for a good few minutes after that… : )

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just…laughing. I’m in my 50s and never had kids and with the constant bombardment from TV, to school, to… I don’t know how you all do it. Then again, I guess this happened when I was young, too. My dad was stationed in Switzerland right after WWII. He picked up some German. He would routinely call us kids shiest kopfs, which of course we had no idea what it meant. I used it a lot, at school, until my parents got hauled in to meet with the teacher. Dad thought it was hilarious. 🙂 Mom…not so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. marielli88 says:

    This is the funniest thing,tough guy there. Hes still your little boy even with his teenager like attitude. But hey he got you on that one , my daughter will be two this year and repeats me when i have an attitude or say something im not supposed to. There minds are like sponges. Hes very well mannered though with the yes ma’am.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. NotAPunkRocker says:

    I emailed my son a picture of the game controllers from work when he came home from school and couldn’t find them. He suddenly learned how to do his chores after that. Other times I have remotely reset the internet password. I like the options we get nowadays with creative discipline 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    Wow, lol….so epic! Kids are like sponges even when you don’t realize it.

    My wife and I for a time tried keeping a swear jar (we both have a bit of a potty mouth problem). *sigh* We had to stop because we couldn’t afford it….

    Liked by 1 person

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