When discussing Halloween costumes with Little Man back in September, I mentioned that I might dress up as Wonder Woman–and by dressing up, I meant a Wonder Woman t-shirt because when your physique has been in a state of constant decline for about a decade plus carrying two babies to term, wearing a bikini bottom out isn’t such a great idea.
LM’s response to my costume suggestion: “You can’t be Wonder Woman. You’re too heavy to fly.”
Well damn. No Lasso of Truth for me and my non-gravity defying derriere.
He did offer an alternative solution though: “Dress up as Batman,” he started. I felt my chest puff out every so slightly (or maybe it was the fact that I had been ignoring the breast pump all afternoon) since my son thought I was badass enough to go as the Dark Knight.
Unfortunately he followed that up with, “If you go as Batman, you get the Batmobile and you don’t have to worry about not being able to fly then.”
And for the record, we do gently remind LM to be careful with what he says so as not to offend anyone. This often ends up with him leading up with “I don’t mean this in a bad way, but…” Sometimes it’s something offensive and sometimes it’s not, but it’s always guaranteed to make a few beads of sweat pop out in public.